Problems to establish loving relationships. Hexagrams 48.2 a 39, 27.4 y 16.5 a 45

[Serraluna]

Hi all. Excuse me if my English is not too good. I have made a series of questions about the problems I have to get to establish a relationship with a man. I was widowed 15 years ago and I have not come out with anyone, and if a man has appeared that has interested me, we have not come to establish a relationship.One of the questions I asked was: What is stopping me from specifying a relationship with a man? The result was 48.2 to 39.It seems that my pit has the pitcher pitted and is impeded. I can not get water from the well. I neglect my abilities, I do not communicate well, I do not share ?.I kept asking: How can I repair my jar? and the answer was: 27.4 to 21, the hungry tiger. I do not know if he is portraying my hunger situation or is really telling me what I can do to get out of the situation described in hexagram 48.2.Another answer I got to why I can not find a love relationship with a man was 16.5 to 45, enthusiasm impeded, not expressed.What interpretation would you give this group of answers ?. Especially at the second consultation, in which I ask how to get out of the situation.I hope I have not abused your good will and you can help me understand the messages that the Master is giving me. Thank you.

 

[Trojina]

Hi all. Excuse me if my English is not too good. I have made a series of questions about the problems I have to get to establish a relationship with a man. I was widowed 15 years ago and I have not come out with anyone, and if a man has appeared that has interested me, we have not come to establish a relationship.One of the questions I asked was: What is stopping me from specifying a relationship with a man? The result was 48.2 to 39.It seems that my pit has the pitcher pitted and is impeded. I can not get water from the well. I neglect my abilities, I do not communicate well, I do not share ?.I kept asking: How can I repair my jar? and the answer was: 27.4 to 21, the hungry tiger. I do not know if he is portraying my hunger situation or is really telling me what I can do to get out of the situation described in hexagram 48.2.Another answer I got to why I can not find a love relationship with a man was 16.5 to 45, enthusiasm impeded, not expressed.What interpretation would you give this group of answers ?. Especially at the second consultation, in which I ask how to get out of the situation.I hope I have not abused your good will and you can help me understand the messages that the Master is giving me. Thank you.

Taking all you answers together it seems to me you are getting a clear message you need to be altogether more confident, more searching, more demanding.

48.2 shows there's much waste in a situation, an inefficiency. It's like a fisherman trying to catch fish with a net full of holes, he needs a good new net.

You need to take a good look at the way you are going about finding someone because it could be you aren't using some good resources that are available to you. For example perhaps you need amore suitable dating site or even perhaps there is someone already in your environment you don't think is possible for you to have but they are.

27.4 shows you should go at this like a hungry tiger, full of self assurance and quite certain about what you want. This is not the time for modesty and shyness, you need to be bold and to go for exactly the kind of man you want. You need to be full of energy, eager like a tiger. As it is with 48.2 there is not much momentum in the situation, so you need to bring some more energy and really be your most vibrant passionate self, be bright and bold and sure footed like the tiger.

Why you cannot find the right man , 16.5 - again there seems something a bit half hearted here, I wonder if it almost feels like a chore. You have to make it fun, and you have to really go for only the kind of man you'd really really want. Don't settle for going out with men who don't really light your fire. These answers also remind me of how you are using your sexual energy, I mean the energy that is there in you. I feel perhaps you need to express that desiring side of you more.

How to do that ? I'm no love expert but I kind of see you needing to move towards brightness in your being, in your clothes, so that your desire energy is really bought to the fore.

 

[marybluesky]

Hello Serraluna!

What is stopping me from specifying a relationship with a man? The result was 48.2 to 39.
The Source (48)- the emotions and whatever else you need to establish a relationship- is there but some Obstacles (39) prevent you from using it.48.2: "The well is like a valley (it is collapsed). The fish can be seen. The jug is old and it leaks." The source nor the means to use it aren't in a good conditions now: that's what keep you back.
Then you have to repair the well and the means. The line says the jug is "old". I guess you should get rid of some old patterns and adopt a new attitude towards relationships, inwardly (the well is collapsed) and outwardly (the jug leaks).

How can I repair my jar? and the answer was: 27.4 to 21
You are Hungry (27); so go and Bite Through (21) what you want.
27.4: "Turning to the summit for provision of nourishment brings good fortune. Spying about with sharp eyes like a tiger with insatiable craving. No blame." Go decisively after your desires. Place yourself in a position- a place, an activity, a group of people, etc- that helps you to recover your inner passion, but also offers opportunity to meet people & get to know them. Don't be ashamed of your intention. Don't let yourself be discouraged. Respect your desire & don't retreat until you've satisfied it.

Looking at two readings, maybe you have some beliefs, habits, attitudes that don't allow you to openly chase what you want, like an inner obstacle? Work on it.

Good Luck!

 

[Serraluna]

I apologize because the text comes out without spaces of separation, although I write it with lines between the paragraphs ....

 

[Trojina]

The reason you cannot make paragraphs is there is a forum bug but if you click this link you can see how to get around it.

I find it difficult to advise people on how to get a relationship so I've probably given all I have to give regarding your readings but others may help.

 

[Serraluna]

Thanks for your answers, Trojina and Marybluesky. Your answers resonate with me. I think the reasons why I have not specified any relationship with a man are in my behavior. There is something that seems to prevent going directly in that direction.
The hexagram 48.2 is talking about a sloppy well, possibly a well that does not apply. On the other hand, obtain 16.5 refers to the enthusiasm prevented, not expressed. Everything speaks, as you say, Mary, of something that slows or prevents the manifestation of joy, enthusiasm and also refers to a chronic disease, which does not cause death, but which keeps you sick.

This topic is very important in my life and that is why I have asked Ching about this in different ways. One of them has been, What aspect of my behavior is conditioning that has not been able to materialize any romantic relationship since I was widowed?
The answer was: 37.1.4.6 to 31. I do not really understand the meaning of this cast. And that question I think is very important for the solution of this problem.

Finally, I asked for advice to establish a relationship with a man from now on and the answer was 45.4.5 to 2.
I do not know if it is appropriate to continue with this thread or it would be better to create a new one. If so, I will.

Thank you very much for responding to my concerns and doubts and continue learning to manage this resource of personal growth so valuable that is the I Ching.

 

[Serraluna]

Hello Trojina, I have already read how to edit the texts with lines of separation, I hope that now go well. I appreciate your comment and your interest, Trojina.

 

[marybluesky]

What aspect of my behavior is conditioning that has not been able to materialize any romantic relationship since I was widowed? The answer was: 37.1.4.6 to 31.

You are a Family Woman (37) . I wonder if you have been raised by a family, or more likely, started a family with your late husband (because you say since I widowed):
37.1: "A family lives by the principle. There will be no regret." With solid principles...
37.4: " A wealthy family; greatly auspicious." That has been rich, materially or in other ways.
37.6: "Sincerity and dignity bring good fortune." Where people have been sincere & respected each other.
All have been good. Now you want to Attract (31) another mate, or there are people Attracted to you. Why the relationships don't form? I guess because your suitors sense you've had those privileges & can't, or see themselves unable to, provide the same for you- or you unconsciously believe so.

Just curious- do you still love your husband and feel no one can replace him?

I asked for advice to establish a relationship with a man from now on and the answer was 45.4.5 to 2.

Join Others (45)- participate in gatherings, find a good social circle- and be Receptive and Persistent (2): meet people, get rid of useless assumptions, take your time, and remember that there's a lot of potential as there is in the fields of Earth.
45.4: "Great auspiciousness; there is no trouble." Seems like you have a good chance to find your man by following the advice...
45.5: " If one has position, people will gather. No blame. If he does not have the trust of all, he should perpetuate his magnanimity. Remorse will vanish." Someone should be in a position to gather people around. It can be you: the gathering comes in various forms: from inviting your friends out & encouraging them to introduce new people to your circle, to arranging a group activity (hiking? movie watching? photographing? bicycling? ...) in which people with similar tastes participate, to even starting a new business where you have a "position" and people come to you. It's upon you to choose. OR, you may know someone in such positions, and meet people through them.
Anyway, don't expect everyone to like you from the start. Be patient and show your benevolence, your desire to connect with people, little by little. Put away your guard. Let them know you. Then the uncertainty and possibly bad initial feelings will go away.

Good Luck!

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[Serraluna]

Hello Marybluesky. First of all thank you very much for your interest. Regarding the first consultation from 37 to 31 and what you are asking me, I can not really say that I miss my husband, I have been a widow for many years and now I am in love with another man for more than a year, but things do not prosper and I have no choice but to forget about him. Before this episode, I have not had much interest in dating men. Now I am trying to meet men online but I find it very difficult to find men that I like.

That's why I asked if there was something in my way of acting, I could be favoring the one that does not get my life back with another person.

I can not see the answer from 37 to 31 that you are telling me, really.

Regarding the query from 45.4.5 to 2, I agree with you. I have to go out and meet people, and let myself go, be receptive.

Thanks for your help.

 

[marybluesky]

Well... another take on 37 to 31:
Maybe someone who already has a Family(37) has Attracted (31) you and you can't be with him for that.
Is the guy married?

 

[Serraluna]

Well yes, Mary, you're right, this guy is married.

But my question was generic, I wanted to know because in all these years I have not had anyone and especially, if something in my behavior could be determining it. Of course, my intention is understanding what, and after, stop doing it.

This interpretation that you have done now would fit with my current situation with this person, but my question really went beyond, not only what is happening now ... ..but what is happening for too many years.
Thanks Marybluesk