Question : why am I so upset by the way my family is behaving with me? Y's answer: 59,1: 61

[yugashree]

I have found that the ties with my family( I am the youngest of 4 siblings, single, unmarried, age 70, living alone, dealing with chronic illnesses including surgeries for cancer, arthritis, etc) are no longer part of my social relations as they used to be or even as I continue to expect them to be: hardly much interaction, communication, invitations to get together etc. But this has happened over a period of almost a decade or so. Even then, I have periods of extreme unhappiness, anger, and shock, whenever a minor interaction occurs, and I still can't figure out why I get so upset.
I understand hexagram 59 as referring to the scattering of the family, literally spatial and it's proliferation as siblings' children, grand children, extended families appear, but what does it mean to rescue with the strength of a horse? Does it mean something good or does it mean I need to do something to rescue this dispersion? I infact find myself helpless and distressed... So how does this make sense? Also how then is hexagram 61 next? Is it again just the fact that something is true? What is? And how does that help? Any comments?

 

[Liselle]

That is puzzling because it sounds like Yi answered a "why" question with instructions. As you say, you wonder if you should be the horse and do something to rescue the situation. (My 59.1's are like that quite often: be the horse; do something.)

Well - maybe, if there's anything you can think of to do. But it sounds like there isn't much.

So what else could it mean?

Maybe reassurance. Maybe Yi means you'll get by despite the dispersion. I'm pretty sure I've heard people say they've had 59.1 this way. Hilary says in her commentary, "there is enough strength to get free, enough buoyancy to stay afloat," and I think what she means by that is that there is a horse somewhere that floats and swims and you can use it. (I hope I'm not misunderstanding.)


Sometimes it helps to look at other translations. For instance Bradford Hatcher puts it this way:
'Rely on assistance
The horse is powerful
Promising'

The rely-on-assistance part sounds like a "why" to me, if you think you won't get by. You're worried that at some point you'll need someone to be the horse and help you, but if there's no one around, then what? Of course you feel angry, distressed, etc.

What I hope is that Yi means both. Here's why you feel this way, but also reassuring you you'll have the help you need.

 

[Cometta]

59.1 is like a green light. I think yi is advicing you to allow yourself to feel naturally.
There is love and also hate in families, but you get only what you think you own.

I infact find myself helpless and distressed...

I experience this feeling usually when I beat myself up because what I know for sure (my truth) is being challenged and I give it up in exchange of love. So the line tells me to stop the guilt and be natural.

Maybe if you can be kinder to yourself you could recover your strength?

 

[my_key]

Hi yugashree

59 speaks of the benefits that come from dispelling the illusions that have walked through you life with you. At the age you are the old self (the way you think, feel, act speak and behave) may not be serving you as it once was. It may now be advantageous to you to divested yourself gradually and gently of what no longer serves you. As this melts away you can find a greater connection with and a deeper trust in your inner truth (61).

... of course other interpretations may resonate with you more clearly.

Good Luck

 

[Hekate]

I am replying because I recently consulted the I Ching about the estrangement from my own family so this resonates. I don't have definite answers, but I think this additional commentary I found might be helpful:

(...)
Both the Wilhelm and Legge commentaries tell us that line two is the horse referred to here. It follows that if line two is the horse, then we can think of line one as its "rider.” Horses symbolize raw energy, and suggest the instinctual-emotional components of the psyche. The rider would be the ego who controls this energy. See the commentary on line two for additional insights.

One might compare the relation of the ego to the id with that between a rider and his horse. The horse provides the locomotor energy, and the rider has the prerogative of determining the goal and guiding the movements of his powerful mount towards it. But all too often in the relations between the ego and the id we find a picture of the less than ideal situation in which the rider is obliged to guide his horse in the direction in which it itself wants to go.
Sigmund Freud​

source

• On the one hand you mention feeling helpless and distressed (feeling / instinct = id = horse). You yourself (conscious awareness = ego = rider) can't figure out what it is.
• You notice your distress whenever a family member reaches out. Your horse (feelings) want you to do something that you yourself (ego) does not understand.
• If this is a valid reading then the I Ching might have described your situation!
• Could it be that you actually want to be more in touch with your family members?
  • My reading of this is shaped by a Dutch, modern translation, which titles the Hexagram 59 as 'Solving Estrangement' or 'Solving Alienation', implying that the natural course of action is to 'solve' the situation. This might explain why, instead of explaining the nature of your feelings, it jumps to giving you a status report (reassuring you the situation can be 'fixed').

I once got resulting hexagram '61' when I asked a question regarding how a particular family member saw me. At that point, I deliberately kept my distance from her, despite her wanting to keep in touch with me. I was, at that point, considering recontacting her again (and we have reunited now).

Inner Truth moves even pigs and fish, and leads to good fortune. There will be advantage in crossing the great stream. There will be advantage in being firm and correct.

My Dutch translation says this:

'Hexagram 61 Inner Truth shows the ability of honest people to reach 'pigs and fish', meaning very inaccessible people, so that they give up their rebelliousness'.

Funnily enough, until I looked it up I thought SHE was the inaccessible/difficult person that the oracle mentioned. But now that I reread my exact question, it was from her point of view. I was literally being inaccessible to her, so I guess I was the pig/fish!

I am new to this, and I see my line of thinking varies a lot from the other commenters so beware! Still, here's my two cents. Best of luck.

 

[Lakewater]

Line 59.1

Wilhelm Translation: He brings help with the strength of a horse. Good fortune.

Wing Notes: You can see the very beginning of discord. This is fortunate indeed, for it is far easier to reunify and overcome separation when it first arises. Good fortune.

Given your age, illnesses and increasing isolation heightened feelings of sensitivity and vulnerability makes sense. I would read 'get help with the strength of a horse' as get help swiftly, perhaps you feel upset because you can see the family separation just beginning, but the cast says this is to your advantage, at the outset of disunion before it has set in and become pervasive it advises to get assistance from someone/thing that helps you, the same way a horse might help someone get out of trouble. Hekate helpfully references 61 in the background that shows that inner truth is able to reach even inaccessible people. It makes me think sharing your feelings and concerns (your inner truth) will help you connect with even fairly dispersed family members, is there someone that can help you express your worries and concerns with family? Someone that could be your 'horse' as it were.