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Really confused on 37.6

twilightshadow

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I started seeing this guy but we live in different states and our time together didnt really give us time to form a real relationship, but I will be back there this summer so we stayed in touch as friends with an opening for more if that developed. In the meantime we were free to date others, no committment, just staying in touch, getting together again when I go back if we are both available. Over the past few months he has asked my help with several issues in his life, wanting my opinion as well as I Ching readings. He prefers me to do it because he has no familiarity with it, but he has stated many times how impressed he was with my accuracy, both in the readings and just my own intuition. Hes really great, and I do care about him a lot, but we have this one major issue that he is always misinterpreting things I say and accusing me of being jealous, followed by ignoring me for several days. Recently he reconnected on facebook with a girl he knew years ago who broke his heart and whom I already knew he had unresolved feelings for. He had ignored me again for several weeks, but immediately contacted me after talking to her for my opinion. It has been up and down for the past couple of weeks, and though I supported his need to see if anything was left with her, we still had this cycle of accusations and apologies. I finally told him the other day that while I accepted his apology I felt that it would happen again, but he was welcome to prove me wrong. I then didnt hear from him for four days, so I wrote a text this morning and consulted the Yi about his response before I sent it. I received 37.6 which most of my interpretations have as commanding respect and all of them say good fortune or auspicious, nothing to indicate an unwanted response. Yet what I got was a very angry reply accusing me again of sending all these angry texts and he was tired of the jealousy, etc and then he dumped me completely and stated he was removing me from facebook and blocking my texts. The wierd thing is he mentioned that he didnt think he and the old girlfriend were going to rekindle their love, but they still had a deep connection and he was happy for that, and he closed by saying I was a good person and he wished me a good life. I tried to reply explaining he had misinterpreted again and also telling him he was being unfair and accusing me of things that were completely untrue. I have no reason to be jealous. If nothing else I trust my own intuition and the I Ching, and the last response I got about our relationship for this summer was 14 unchanging. I was so looking forward to the summer because I never get 14. Maybe I was asking too far in advance, too much time for things to change. But Im still confused about the 37.6. I dont believe Yi gives wrong answers, just ones I misinterpret. And I have been known to misinterpret a lot, but lately I was dead on, running about 85%, and the ones I misinterpreted I could see in hindsight where I went wrong and just documented my journal. So what do I add about 37.6 How did I get this wrong, because Im really stumped. Thanks in advance for your assistance and sorry this is so long. I just cannot seem to write in a concise manner.
 

twilightshadow

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As a followup I asked Yi, so what now for me and X, 39.5
I usually see this as interpreted as overcoming obstacles with the help of friends, but my experience in getting that line is often with someone I dont have any friends in common with; for me it just indicates help from somewhere outside my own actions. In one case, the help came from a person's dream. Does that mean I have friends in high places, :rofl:

I also asked what should I do now about X and got 43.1.3.4.5, which I hate when I get that many lines, but in this case they kind of flow together. I think its saying its too soon to do anything, and anything I said wouldnt be believed anyway, but both line 3 and line 5 talk of not giving up on the inferior man, or at least thats my take.

If I have misinterpreted please give me your insights. Honestly, my reaction was what, Im not done with him yet, why? Im more tired than I realized of all the accusations. Would love to tell him that but that doesnt seem to be the advice here. If he wasnt so great in every other way, Id have told him to stick it where the sun dont shine a long time ago.
 

edge

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I am a bit confused...but I wonder if this might help? I'm assuming when you say you consulted Yi about his response to your text, you were asking 'how will he respond?' or effectively, 'what will happen next?'

Huang on 37:6
"the top line represents the head of a household. He is full of love but not without dignity. Relying on his sincerity and self-discipline, he is able to set an example for the whole family. His influence affects not only his own family but extends beyond the family, bringing good fortune. Mencius says 'If a man himself does not follow the Tao, he will not be able to expect his wife and children to follow the Tao. If he does not deal with people according to the Tao, he will not be able to expect his wife and children to deal with people according to the Tao...there is no greater delight than to be conscious of sincerity and of self examination"

I could be completely wrong but I wonder if this is suggesting that it is possible for him to remedy and guide this situation, but his response will depend on his ability to be genuinely sincere and self disciplined?

On 63:
"all lines are in equilibrium, and all movements are in the proper order. Thus the gua represents a condition of balance and harmony, and absolute correctness. It is an ideal situation.
However, sages with profound experience had the insight that this was also a time of climax. Beyond the climax, every perfect situation alternates to its opposite. For this reason the sages advise extreme caution...they acted to keep the good fortune at the beginning from becoming disorder at the end....Already fulfilled sounds like an auspicious gua but King Wen's decision is not terribly auspicious and the Duke of Zhou's Yao text is filled with warnings...."


So, is it possible that rather than telling you exactly what will happen, it has reflected back to you a picture of a difficult situation which relies on him acting with self-discipline, awareness and dignity but pointing out that this may not happen, that the situation is fraught with danger?

I'd be really interested too if anyone else has a perspective as I have no idea if I'm right or not!! I think asking about someone else's response or feelings always makes for a bit of confusion...
E
 

edge

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One further thought:

Hes really great, and I do care about him a lot, but we have this one major issue that he is always misinterpreting things I say and accusing me of being jealous, followed by ignoring me for several days. Recently he reconnected on facebook with a girl he knew years ago who broke his heart and whom I already knew he had unresolved feelings for. He had ignored me again for several weeks, but immediately contacted me after talking to her for my opinion. It has been up and down for the past couple of weeks, and though I supported his need to see if anything was left with her, we still had this cycle of accusations and apologies.

doesn't sound like he's been acting with much self discipline or dignity so far....
 

edge

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Okay, so I'm in a Huang mood today:

What now?

39:
"If there is misunderstanding and diversity in a household, surely hardship will result"
"If one loves others, and they do not respond in the same way, one should turn inwards and examine one's own love. If one treats others politely and they do not return politeness, one should turn inwards and examine one's own politeness. When one does not realise what one desires, one must turn inwards and examine oneself in every point"

39:5
"both of them are working hard, not simply for their own advantage"

this seems to indicate that remedying the situation and dealing with the hardhip demands a level of effort and self awareness from both of you. It alternates to 15, Humbleness....self explanatory maybe?

I hope I haven't increased the confusion, just trying to work through this on myself!!! :)
 

twilightshadow

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No I see what you're saying, that it was telling me what needed to happen, not what would happen or perhaps that though it says effort and awareness is needed from both, it doesnt say that is what will occur. And you're right, he has not been acting with discipline or dignity, tho ironically he accuses me of being without those things. Or on the 39.5 its possible it hasnt manifested yet. Im wondering if on the 37.6, which some of the translations I have say requires self reflection, if that too might not have fully manifested, like maybe at some point later, after some reflection, he will realize he overreacted and we will be able to move forward. Do you get tho, as I do, that these answers are indicating I shouldnt give up, not that I should chase after him or anything, just that I shouldnt this isnt fully resolved yet.
 

edge

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actually I suspect this (43:1,3,4,5) is saying that it can be resolved (I don't necessarily mean positively, I'm not making that judgement), that you need to be strong, do what you need to do...
Just wondering also why you only refer to the initial hexagrams in your reading? Makes it very difficult for anyone to help you without having to spend some time looking up all the different lines!! If you complete the picture yourself you might get more help...:)
sorry I can't be of more help or any clearer, don't really feel qualified to offer anything further.
Good luck,
E
 

twilightshadow

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Oh sorry, I actually dont look much at the second hex unless there are a lot of moving lines, though I guess there were in the 43 reading. I give more focus to the main hex and the lines though. Im never really sure what the second hex represents in the reading, and havent been able to find any kind of consensus in my research. I will try to remember for the future though that not everyone reads the same way, and though I may not be able to interpret them, someone else might see something that would give me insight. Thanks again for your help. Thats what I felt for 43 too, but I just wish it would tell me what specifically to do.
 

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