Reciprocity

[adarkana]

Does 17.4.5 indicate my feelings (complex, unsettled but love-like) are reciprocated?

I realize some feel asking the I Ching this sort of question is the equivalent of reading someone's diary, but obviously that didn't stop me. My initial read is that this is a positive throw, since what I want is for him to take me seriously, i.e. not be just trifling. We've been courting in stop-start fashion for several months, and have a shared aversion to "being more vulnerable than necessary."

Thanks for any insight. Generally I like getting 17 & especially line 5 but in this case I am not sure whether I am being advised to take the lead, relinquish it or otherwise.

 

[sammiemae]

You have 17 4.5 (Following) -> 24 (Return). I think you're not quite there yet, but will be soon. Here is my take:

17.4 - Seems to talk about the need to have someone following you (is this him or you?). This seems to say that right now, this might be more about enjoying the other's attention rather than a fully reciprocal relationship. This is OK for now, because you also got 17.5.

17.5 - Over time, trust is growing in this relationship and it becomes more than it is now.

24 - You will enter another "start" period in your relationship, and a new beginning.

 

[willowfox]

This is not so hot, as it suggests he is does not have the same feelings that you have for him, it seems that he wants some intimate moments, nothing complex, while you want a deep relationship with him.

So, don't give up your search for love but look elsewhere as oneday you will find what you are looking for.

 

[adarkana]

Well--would be interested in knowing what's to be made of this follow-up:

Is he in love with me? 51.1.6

(asked in a fit of fury at some bit of post-coital stupidity on his part & a prelude of post-coital blues on my own)

Somewhere on this board 51 is interpreted as an "infatuation" hexagram but usually for me it's closer to "freak-out." Either way I hope it doesn't suggest another ten week abstinence routine, those showers just kept getting colder.

 

[willowfox]

Well--would be interested in knowing what's to be made of this follow-up:

Is he in love with me? 51.1.6

I was wondering if he was in love with himself more than anyone around him?

 

[adarkana]

I have to tell you (Willowfox) that's a brilliant read, though how do you get to it from 51.1.6? Genuinely curious.

He's away four of the next ten weeks, so possibly I'll breeze through this next "freeze."

 

[adarkana]

I'll return after some time has passed to give this one an update, but for the record on repeating the question (is he in love with me) I received 51 again, unchanging.

I have never received this hexagram before in the relationship context & was surprised to see it discussed as potentially positive in a number of archived readings.

There is no question about his being "in love with himself more than anyone around him." Still, we are involved in something & it puzzles/preoccupies me.

 

[willowfox]

Yes there is a spark there which will shock him if he cares to acknowledge it.