Relationship 29, 15.1.3 to 24 and 38.2 to 21

[vcdias]

First of all, english is not my first language, so sorry if I make any mistakes.So, the main theme of my readings were my ex girlfriend. We were 4 years together before she decided to break up with me. This was my first serious relationship, and I was immature and insecure for the first 3 years of our relationship, so I made lots of mistakes(i know that she also did hers but anyway) and in the last year I decided to be a better boyfriend. But it seemed that our relationship suffered some kind of decay. Things got complicated and she broke up with me in the beginning of this year. I was really sad, but thought that maybe I needed some time to myself, so I let her go. We didn't want to stop talking to each other, so we texted each other a few times these months, which led some strange conversations and she decided to stop talking to me 2 times, only to start talking again a week later.But about a month ago she invited me to see her, and I went. I even slept at her place and tried to get back together. She said no, because she was confused but she still had feelings for me. Of course I felt rejected but we kept talking to each other and I asked her out, she accepted but said for me that she was not promising anything and didn't to commit. I took it as a chance to try to change things, and so I went out two more times with her. But it seemed to me that something was off. So I was texting her this week asking if it was possible to see her and she said no, and I knew that something else was happened and made her say why and she said that she was also seing somebody else(they started before we started seing each other again). She said again that she doesn't want any sort of commitment and I decided to cut all kinds of communication with her.I felt really bad about this situation, I don't know what's happening with her and I'm not sure if someday I'll be able to forgive her. But I still love her and this situation is really hurting me. I am a very anxious person and I don't know what to do.So withou knowing too much about iching, and in other website I thought about her got the 29 Hexagram, without any changes.But then i discovered this website read a bit more I made three question:-What's the potential of this ?(Yes, kind of vague, but I wasn't really sure of what question)And I got: 38.2 to 21-What should I do ?15.1.3 to 24-Is there hope ?56.3 to 35So I wanted some help to see the how's my reading and also help to decide what should I do..Thanks a lot !

 

[diamanda]

Hi vcdias and welcome,

in other website I thought about her got the 29
29 unchanging shows a danger which keeps coming back. The solution is to face this danger by acting according to what our heart tells us. In your case, it could mean something like this current unpleasant situation between you will keep repeating, until the day that you tell her exactly how you feel about it all, and you do what your heart tells you to do.

What's the potential of this? 38.2 > 21
You'll have an informal meeting with her (i.e. not as a formal couple), but the result of this is pain (21). Her attitude feels like a bite to you. So as long as the meetings between you remain non-committal, it will hurt you.

What should I do? 15.1.3 > 24
Take plain and simple steps to do a courageous act (15.1) and bring things with her to a very clear conclusion (15.3). After that, be indifferent and at ease (24). This sounds like, calmly state to her that you won't put up with her uncertainty anymore, state to her exactly what you want and don't want (but without blaming her for anything), and then pretend you don't care much. The resulting 24 puzzled me here, but the next answer made it clear for me.

Is there hope? 56.3 > 35
Yes there is, the other guy most likely will treat her badly and abandon her, and soon I believe. So, if you have shown a calm strength (as in the previous answer above), I believe she'll come back to you.

Overall, if you continue going along with whatever she wants, it won't work out.
If you follow the advice of 15.1.3 > 24, then I believe you'll have another chance.

 

[rosada]

Hi vcdias,

I have a different interpretation even though I think what Diamanda has said makes a lot of sense...

I like Diamanda's description of Hexagram 29 as being a danger that keeps returning. That's really appropriate for 29 and as a student of the I Ching you might want to write that down for future readings. The image of 29 talks about a teacher or guide who handles the situation well. This suggests to me that after a person has been through a scary experience a few times it is no longer a danger and they can navigate it well, maybe even guide others. So I think here it's describing your repeated attempts to get back together. You've had so many ups and downs you may think eventually the problems will smooth out or that you will be able to handle them. I don't think so. The hexagram is unchanging so it describes a never ending problem, and it certainly isn't the peaceful supportive partnership one usually looks for.

What is the potential? Hexagram 38.2 - 21. It's possible you could have a meeting - not as lovers but as ordinary people - to "Bite Through" the misunderstandings and that would help you see that the relationship wont work but at least you could get some understanding so you could move on.

What should I do? Hexagram 15.1.3 - hexagram 24. If you read the lines to hexagram 24 they describe someone who frankly admits their wrong doing and this clears the air so there is a 24. Return to Hexagram 25. Innocence.
I don't see this as so much advising you to say or do anything with her, rather that you honestly examine your own actions, recognize what you did and didn't do, so you are able to release this relationship and not have it be a burden on your mind as an obstacle to future partnerships.

I read 56.3 - 35 as meaning the hope is that you leave this relationship and move on.

 

[vcdias]

Thank you Rosada and Diamanda for helping me with the interpretation !So it seems that was making the right choice...I made those readings three days after I decided to stop talking to her.What happened is that I forced her to tell me if she was seeing someone else by text, and when I found out I talked just a bit with her and decided that we should stop talking. And then I deleted her facebook and so on. She can still text me if she wants, anyway.But, at the same time I really miss her, I think there are things that were left unsaid and, even tough I'm not sure I can forgive her, I still kind of want her by my side.So I'm not sure if it's a good idea to go after her to talk but I also very anxious and don't want to wait. Also I wanted to know if there was a possibility of she wanting to get back with me, and if it would be a good idea.But afterall it looks like that is better to wait, and recompose myself.Thanks a lot !

 

[rosada]

I found my self thinking a lot about your receiving hexagram 29 in response to your asking the I Ching for a comment on your relationship.
I think IC is saying this relationship is like a whirlpool that keeps pulling you in.

Your decision to not contact your friend is probably a good one for the moment but it may prove hard to maintain. 29.5 is the line that tells how to get out of the whirlpool and the advice is to flow with it till you are gently lifted to the top. This makes me think that it would be better in your effort to avoid contact with her that you not try to make rules for her or yourself which you then end up breaking or suffering with wanting to break them. Instead just take it one day at a time, release and go with the flow, and I think ultimately you will learn some important lessons about how to navigate your whole life path (see image for 29, Wilhelm).