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Relationship Confusion

moses

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Dear All,

It's been about a week since my last reading about my relationship where I asked the Yi "what would happen next?" It has been a difficult ride in my relationship for a while now. Very up and down. Seemingly alot of love there, but also alot of fear (from her side).

The Yi had answered with Hexagram 59 line 2 and 6 leading to Hexagram 8.
I understood this was all about dissolving conflict and finding support.

I also asked the Yi about my role in the bonding (as advised by Yi) And I received the answer Hexagram 2 lines 2 and 3 to Hexagram 46. This all seemed quite positive.

But what really concerns me is Below!!!! As I have been in receptive mode so to speak, and I haven't heard a word from her in a week!!!

Today I checked in with the Yi Jing about "what forces were at work between us?" (as in: what is happenning between us?) and I received Hexagram 56 lines 1,3,4 and 6 however I was advised to read unchanging line 5. The transformed Hexagram is 24 (Return)

And I thought I was confused before!!!

Can anyone help me to understand my reading please? I am most grateful for any help!!

Thanks in advance,

Moses
 
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ginnie

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In the case when so many lines are moving, you might be aware that events will take place from the bottom going upwards, so it can be helpful for you to try to figure out where you are now in the sequence of events:

56.1 > 30, mutual dependency, clinging

56.3 > 35, light is shed on the matter

56.4 > 52, You are discontented; remain still. Meditate.

56.6 > 62. Be careful and very conscientious. Fulfill all your responsibilities.

The nuclear hexagram is 28: too much; a sense of crisis.

The yang pattern is 30, clinging. And the yin pattern is 29, danger.

So, what to make of it all? There are many mentions of burning and burning the nest in hexagram 56, and sometimes this comes because of our own over-zealous attitude. Something about your attitude or your behavior is upsetting the apple cart so to speak. Maybe you are very active and fiery by temperament. You are losing touch with your true position in life. You may literally be a renter or a lodger as well as a seeker. If you are discontented, as line 4 indicates, then it is your responsibility to restore yourself to calm through mediation before proceeding any further.
 
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mirian

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Dear Moses,

The Yi is telling you that you haven't got a leading role in this relationship and you have limited power to make things happen or to make them happen your way.

When you asked what forces were at work between you the Yi responded with Hex 56, which usually brings separation and communication break-down in relationships. That is the reason you didn't hear from her for a week!
Considering your lines, I think that you must have overlooked the signs that a crisis point was on its way. I am not saying that your relationship is now beyond repair, but you have to think carefully about things that went on between you, things that you said to her, your attitudes, the way she responded to you.... The crisis might be deeper than you think.
You need to find out what is really going on but you cannot force the issue. If you try to take control you will fail.

Hope it helps:bows:
 

moses

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Thanks Alot Guys!!!

That really does help a great deal.
Neither of you has said anything about the 24 (Return) aspect of the reading. Can you help with that please?

Thanks again,

Moses
 

canislulu

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on 56.1.3.4.6 > 24 : THE WANDERER RETURNS or Wandering leads to a Turning Point

You stopped communication and then decided to initiate contact again, i.e., "the wanderer returns"
She is "undecided and goes back and forth" , i.e., she "wanders" and "returns"

You mention that she has fear. What is the fear about? You say that the fear is from her side and yet I sense that you fear losing this relationship.

All of your readings seem auspicious to me and yet you seem anxious.

Hexagram 24 says "Fruitful to have a direction to go." Are you both clear about the direction you would like this relationship to take? What would happen if, instead of worrying what to do about the relationship, you allowed yourself to get in touch with how it would feel if you had the kind of relationship you want. Imagine the relationship you want and feel what it would feel like. What would happen if you could live with that feeling without having to DO anything?

And Hexagram 24 speaks about kings "closing borders" and says, "Itinerant merchants did not travel, the prince did not tour the regions" (from Hilary's translation). This is quite different from wandering. So perhaps the wandering force will change to a "dwelling in the center" force.

This last bit may be more "me" than "Yi" although it stems a bit from a sense I have developed of Hexagram 24 based on reading what others have written. (I call it "Just Breath"/ "going out, coming in, without anxiety"
What would happen if you could "fake it until you make it"?, i.e., feel how you want to feel in the relationship as if it were already that way?

It might just bring you what you are looking for whether it is her or something or someone else.
The Yi does say, "Returning, creating success"

Keep us posted.
 
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canislulu

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One more thing...I notice that Hilary has posted a Sticky about advise on relationship readings. I think I will read this. Moses, have you read it? Perhaps it will give some more help.
 

moses

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Goodness me Calling Crane,

You have managed to sum things up in a very neat and tidy nutshell.

You are right.... I am brimming with fear sometimes.. And also insecure about my own knowledge about my own situations. However, always at the ready to talk about anothers situation. I can never really take my own pearls of advice.

No we are not clear on a direction as yet. I have only just seen her last night for the first time since weeks. I'm sure we will talk again soon. I think it is in my best interests to take things slow ofcourse and feel things out first. (60.4) Allowing things to develop naturally under there own steam.

You are right again about me being anxious. I have to say though. I never really seem to understand when the reading is auspicious. Its like I have an issue accepting its for me:) Must be accumilitive as I don't remember always being like this.

Well, we're not a therapy circle so I will stop right there. Enough about me.

Thanks for those posts. And also, thankyou for the reply that I have only just now seen (The Wanderer Returns). I'm still not quite getting this site.....

And Breathe,

Moses
 
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Hi Moses,

If you are using a phone to view this website, this picture below might not help as much as a larger computer screen, but I will post it anyways. Red squares are added to the initial key parts you would need to know to get around the forum. If you click the 'Talk' tab up top you will see listed below the various sections of the forum. They have red squares around them also (in the attachment only). Most of the forum sections have a description underneath their title, stating what threads fit in where.

'I Ching News' - is for new books or websites, things like that, that are related to the I Ching.
'Clarity News' - is for new info about the website, like a new function etc.
The other Forums have descriptions. :)

The picture is attached below!

So far all of your posts should be in the 'Shared Readings' category, but somehow they slipped into the Open Spaces Forum.
 

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