Relationship Guidance and iChing 11.2

[WanderingNick]

Hi, this is my first post, but I have used the iChing for a while so have some sense of how to interpret it, but I have recently been tying myself up in knots about a series of readings I did about my ex partner.
Some background: we were together for 15months. She had been badly hurt by the guys she had been in relationships with before and struggled to let go her feelings of pain. This also meant that she has taught herself not to believe in love (despite at heart being an old romantic) and not to fully trust guys as they always let you down. Our relationship was an odd one. We have a deep and strong connection, but on occasion I felt I was more like her therapist than her lover. It has felt like she has fought against the idea of falling in love again. She told me she loved me once (when very drunk) but ever since has held me emotionally at arms length. I have made it clear to her that I love her and would like to build a future with her. She has said next to nothing about our relationship (whilst talking at length about the pain she felt from past relationships). Whenever we saw each other we always had a great time, but she has said that she feels there is no 'chemistry' between us, that I've been too much of a push-over, not standing up to her and that she sees me as a deep friend not a partner.

I cast a number of readings about us:
1) will she come back to me? I got 5.1.2 changing to 39
2) Can I win her back over time? I got 3 unchanging
3) how will demonstrating trustworthiness and calmness serve me with her? I got 11.2 changing to 36
4) a reading for next year for me - I got 57 unchanging

My interpretation of this is:
- I need to be patient and keep away from her, let her come to me, but if she does so I need to be loving and supportive of her
-This will not happen quickly and I will spend some time wandering in the wilderness and should use the time to be sure that I really want her back
- What stikes me is that, whilst these readings don't say we will get back together, they equally dont slam the door and say 'forget it, its never happening'

Unfortunately, I love her and do want her back, so any thoughts or interpretations would be really welcome!
Thank you all

 

[my_key]

1) will she come back to me? I got 5.1.2 changing to 39

There are many complex tooings and froings going on behind the situation you find yourself in. She is wounded and is limping (39). She is attending to her current needs right now and living life in the best way that she can (5). She has lost the joy of life and times are hard for her right now (5.1) however she will be the only one that can find a way through her wounding (5.2) Which direction that will lead her in is anyone's guess: only she will know.

2) Can I win her back over time? I got 3 unchanging

Can I win her back over time? Working away in the background is a theme of the nuclear of 3 which is 23 Stripping Away. 3 advises the Noble One to clearly regulate his world and bring order to the situation around him. The unchanging nature of the situation suggests that 'over time' things will not greatly change. Hex 3 means 'does not leave the building'

Behind you winning her back is a call to strip something away in you. Until this happens and a new order is brought together things will not change- you will be held in the same building as you are now.

3) how will demonstrating trustworthiness and calmness serve me with her? I got 11.2 changing to 36

Hex 36 - displays a hiding of the real you. There is a meaning of part of you being outcast / displaced probably as a form of protection. So rather than demonstrating trustworthiness and calmness, in order to woo the fair maiden, how about actually having a real go at being trustworthy and calm. Showing your authentic true self will serve you best in this situation.

4) a reading for next year for me - I got 57 unchanging

Like your first reading the nuclear here is Hex 38 so behind evrything that you will experience next year will lie a sense of hardship, opposition, discord and conflicting thoughts and ideas. Things that you have hidden away will slowly penetarte into your heart bringing with them new opportunities to see and do things differently. 2021 could be like a breath of fresh air for you if you approach it with an open heart and open mind. Be inspired and step freely into the new.

......of course the raedings may mean nothing at all like this for you.

Good Luck

 

[WanderingNick]

There are many complex tooings and froings going on behind the situation you find yourself in. She is wounded and is limping (39). She is attending to her current needs right now and living life in the best way that she can (5). She has lost the joy of life and times are hard for her right now (5.1) however she will be the only one that can find a way through her wounding (5.2) Which direction that will lead her in is anyone's guess: only she will know.


Can I win her back over time? Working away in the background is a theme of the nuclear of 3 which is 23 Stripping Away. 3 advises the Noble One to clearly regulate his world and bring order to the situation around him. The unchanging nature of the situation suggests that 'over time' things will not greatly change. Hex 3 means 'does not leave the building'

Behind you winning her back is a call to strip something away in you. Until this happens and a new order is brought together things will not change- you will be held in the same building as you are now.

Hex 36 - displays a hiding of the real you. There is a meaning of part of you being outcast / displaced probably as a form of protection. So rather than demonstrating trustworthiness and calmness, in order to woo the fair maiden, how about actually having a real go at being trustworthy and calm. Showing your authentic true self will serve you best in this situation.

......of course the raedings may mean nothing at all like this for you.

Good Luck

Thank you, this is a really interesting way of looking at it. I had egotisically looked at 5 'waiting' and 39 'limping' as describing my situation, but of course, it also fits for her. A few weeks ago I asked 'how can I best do things differently with her' and got one of those readings with so many moving lines you just dont know what to think: 50.2.3.4.6 changing to 2. Which would fit your thoughts on stripping away - namely I would need to change quite a bit in order to be 'up to the task' of being with her. I hope I manage!

 

[my_key]

Thank you, this is a really interesting way of looking at it. I had egotisically looked at 5 'waiting' and 39 'limping' as describing my situation, but of course, it also fits for her.

I agree, ego has a lot to answer for when we get caught up in situations. In this case it has led you astray and you have been following an interpretation in response to an unasked question " Will I get her back?" ( or similar)

Your question "Will she come back to me?" would have been answered from her perspective, with her world clearly at the centre of your question. That is how you phrased it so it fits her situation more than yours. Your other 3 questions are about you and you may well gain most insights by focusing your attention on them.

When you clearly understand the question you have asked then you can more clearly interpret the answer you have been given appropriately.

Good Luck

 

[WanderingNick]

I agree, ego has a lot to answer for when we get caught up in situations. In this case it has led you astray and you have been following an interpretation in response to an unasked question " Will I get her back?" ( or similar)

Your question "Will she come back to me?" would have been answered from her perspective, with her world clearly at the centre of your question. That is how you phrased it so it fits her situation more than yours. Your other 3 questions are about you and you may well gain most insights by focusing your attention on them.

When you clearly understand the question you have asked then you can more clearly interpret the answer you have been given appropriately.

Good Luck

thank you, a challenge is always understanding what your reading actually refers to!