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Relationship - Hex 24.5 >3 and 18.2.6 > 15

jayaso

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Hi all,

My ex and I had a pretty bad falling out on Saturday night. It ended in him telling me to block him and delete him.
I asked him if he was going to call me to discuss something important, he said he would after he had done something. The time came for him to call me and he didn't. I left it 30/45 mins because I knew the 'something' was over. I tried calling him myself, but there was no answer. I saw that he was online and just asked him why he hadn't called me yet. Given that we had been having some reconciliation difficulties up until that point, I told him that him failing to following through hurt my feelings. He then switched on me and told me to block and delete him.

So, the other night I asked the IChing two questions:

1. Will X attempt to make things right with me? - Hex 24.5 > 3

This answer suggests to me that he will attempt to make things right with me, but that it will take some time.
I think we are currently in the Hexagram 3 (Difficulty at the Beginning) stage. Where he is thinking through what has happened and who was to blame for the conversation going the way it did the other night.

The fact that Hexagram 24 is return, seems to again confirm that he will come back to make things right with me. On the James DeKorne's website, there are a number of explanations to support this:

Legge: Progress and freedom of action are found in Return. Goings and comings are unimpeded, and friends approach without error. Return to repeat the proper course. Seven days returns the cycle to its beginning. There is advantage in choosing one's path.

Wilhelm/Baynes:Return. Success. Going out and coming in without error. Friends come without blame. To and fro goes the way. On the seventh day comes return. It furthers one to have somewhere to go.

Of Line 5, CafeAuSoul seems to support my assumption as it says:

There is nothing keeping you from seeing that the proper course is to acknowledge a turning point and to return. There are no mistakes in life even in Difficult times. Sometimes we need to see what we don’t want or can’t have in order to find ourselves where we need to be. You return holding your head up knowing it is the correct path.

Do you have any comments?

2. What is the prospect of romantic reconciliation between X and I? - Hex 18.2.6 > 15

Hexagram 18 is called 'repairing the damage' or 'decay' and therefore, it is rather difficult for me to decide if this is a positive hexagram or not. Both seem to be fitting, as we may either 'repair' the relationship or it may 'decay' at this point. Either way, this hexagram seems to be the most appropriate starting point.

If I go with DeKorne's analysis of the lines, they are:

Rectify an emotional response. Control your feelings, but don't crush them (Line 2)
Your duty is to serve a transcendent ideal (Line 6)

These lines to me suggest, maybe... Line 2 suggests a 'yes' but reign in your expectations. Then Line 6 goes on to give me an aura of 'wait and see' ... the universe will let you know when the time is good and proper.

If I look at CafeAuSoul:

Line 2 Neglect of mother = sensitivity needed. Changes to (52) Keeping Still. Emotional responses have gotten out of control and sensitivity is needed. A relationship is delicate and applying remedy drastically might wound. Through weakness an imbalance has occurred. Someone is choosing not to act for the time being. Give the situation gentle consideration by Keeping Still and allow for the space needed for reflection.

Line 6 Transcending the entire situation = turning away to attend to higher goals. Changes to (46) Pushing Upward. Something important to one isn’t important to another, so one minds their own business. While the decision to go one’s own way may not bring popularity, it is the right thing for the time. An ability to rise above right and wrong allows you to see the ‘just so’ flow of events where not embroiling leads to acceptance. After letting go one is able to achieve loftier goals.

These lines again seem to suggest that I need to go with the flow and see what happens and trust the process.

Can anyone else help with interpretation?

Thank you
 
D

diamanda

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Will X attempt to make things right with me? 24.5 > 3
24.5 shows someone replying with honesty and having no regrets about it.
So he meant it when he said 'delete me', and is not intending to initiate anything (3).

What is the prospect of romantic reconciliation between X and I? 18.2.6 > 15

He forgives you (18.2, not sure for what though!) but still doesn't want to get back together (18.6).

Really sorry to say this but I don't see much hope there :-/
From what you say, in combination with these answers, he sounds like a stunningly arrogant man.
I'm wishing you well, may you recover from this quickly and easily!
 

jayaso

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Thanks Diamanda.

It is refreshing to get someone else's objective opinions on these hexagrams.

I thought the first one was positive �� ... oops.
 

rosada

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Hexagram 24.5 sounds like some gesture is made but then it leads to Hexagram 3 which is about being uncertain as to whether one should (hex 1) Create or wait to (hex 2) Respond. thus as an answer to your question, will he attempt to make things right?, I think you are being told there is a lack of clarity as to what "right" would mean. Or perhaps uncertainty as to what one should then do next - like apologizing but not necessarily wanting to reconnect.

Hexagram 18.2.6 - hexagram 15. Again a possibility of Working on What Has been Spoiled but no guarantee of progressing any further than people going back to their original positions. Hexagram 15 is a dutiful soul going about their business, no attachments. So you could talk but it reads to me that your goal should be merely to be able to decide there are no hard feelings and that you are both free to go on your separate ways, no harm, no foul.
 
D

diamanda

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Jayaso, rethinking about this, especially after reading rosada's post...

Ok so he won't make an attempt, of his own accord, to make things right.
And the prospects are not good "if he has to forgive you".
What does that mean? Why are you to blame? Are you truly to blame for something or not?
If not, then assuming a doormat mentality ("the one to be forgiven"), then nothing good will come out of it.

How about try asking, "What can I do to get back together?".
Maybe a different approach will yield different results (here's hoping!).
 

jayaso

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Hi Diamanda and Rosada,

Thank you for helping me interpret the iChing. I had a little thought about what you said and came to the conclusion that he was upset with me, but not about what happened the other night; but something that happened about 12 years ago now. He hadn't quite moved past it (despite getting together after it) and when I spoke to him about it the other day, this seemed to "unlock" him to an extent. The wall kind of came down to an extent.

In terms of asking the question that Diamanda suggested, I did. I asked 'What can I do to get back together?'

I got Hexagram 7.5 > 29

In essence, I think this hexagram is telling me to learn from the past and set the relevant boundaries.

On the DeKorne website, it says of this line 'A. There is work to be done, but if you allow inferior elements to influence your judgment, disaster will ensue'... This makes sense to me because the situation with this person really does confuse me somewhat, I have in the past allowed things to get in my head and make me nervous or really worried.

At the same time, I think it is also telling me to go with the flow, but to also ensure that I set personal boundaries with him. To be more disciplined in my approach and not so giving, which I have been as a result of the incident that happened 12 years ago.
 
D

diamanda

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What can I do to get back together? 7.5 > 29

In my experience this combination shows that there's definitely danger. You are not imagining the danger, the danger is not "in your head", as you put it. The danger is "birds". Is this guy flirty? If yes, then he's trying to confuse you on purpose, so as to be free to play "the field" ("birds in the field"). I've seen this line numerous times refer to actual 'games' people play in relationships (unfortunately not the pleasant type of games). So you need to take control of the situation, as you said be disciplined, call his bluff, and don't accept his fake anger.

I'm sorry to say the cast is not very promising. What needs to be done is that the mature one takes the lead, and the immature one carries dead bodies - which sounds quite unsavoury. Resulting 29 says that even if you give it your best go, the same danger will return. This guy sounds way too unstable, are you sure you want your future to look like this? Are you sure you want to assume the role of the eternal policeman? This is not a cast of "go with the flow". If you manage to get back together after being strict, you'll need to maintain a firm hand and remain vigilant at all times.
 

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