Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
Hello,
I have asked numerous Qs about other people in my time, and I know a lot of people on here say it doesn't work/is wrong; an expression of our ego seeking gratification of some sort, usually in the face of actual deprivation from the person in mind, but that hasn't stopped me asking for example, How does he feel about me? What does he think of me? How does he see me? I even think, 'What is his position in the relationship' may be no better...
To clear this up once and for all
I asked for Yi to comment on relationship Qs in general (after exasperating myself with a marathon run of them)
Hex 24 unchanging
I read this as: You're deviating from your path by asking these types of Qs. Return to your path. Start afresh, seeing with your eyes and yours alone. Realise you have all you need in yourself. 'The path is my friend and I will walk it with or without you'.
This was a few days ago, and I'm afraid, feeling upset about someone, I did go back into my usual ways of asking what he was thinking etc etc.
So tonight I asked, Is there any point in relationship Qs?
Hex 38 unchanging
This hex is about retaining your independence and individualism. About how people see with different eyes. So I interpret this as saying, the Yi expresses what you see through your eyes, and you cannot possibly see through another's just by using the Yi. There is a whole world in you, and a whole world in them. That is what it means to be Separate.
But I would like your advice.
What kind of questions can/do you ask about relationships?
For example, I woud say these are ok:
What is the situation between X and I?
How should I see us?
How do I best deal with X and I?
What is the potential between us?
What should I know about him? (not sure if this one's too personal though?)
My position in the relationship? (but not his position)
What if I contact X?
What if I wait for X?
Any others? I know I should aim to keep them to a minimum anyway, but I feel I am at last drawing up some boundaries for myself here.
Oh and I asked How do I best see X and I? (previous thread guy)
27.1 > 23
- I should not allow myself to be destroyed when I can't depend on another. A lesson reminding me (again) how important it is to be self-reliant. And 23 - I'm on my own again amongst some relationship rubble, but I have my own food (27.1)
I asked for Yi to comment on relationship Qs in general. . .
24 unchanging
Em Ching, I think you would get better, more significant answers if you didn't ask so many questions. I get exhausted just reading about all this casting I think any question is valid -- in moderation.
.
I think you need a day off. Hilary drives you too hard
I don't think anyone ever said it was wrong, just not often especially effective or useful when you have much vested interest in the direction of the answer...but what a great answer 24 is here, returning to your truth, your path. If you view the answer postively you could say you have returned by simply asking this question.
An odd one I have used recently if for example I have some trepidation about a something is along the lines of "how will I feel or how will I come away from making this contact or taking this proposed action" For me this works well, seems reliable but then I'm using that question to maybe just prepare, adjust mindset, expectations., sometimes just for confidence. I guess its worth thinking about what you asking the question for, what do you really want from it. At first that sounds obvious but it isn't. Often what people want is certainty, to get rid of that nagging doubt in their mind but thats one thing one cannot get if asking about 'positions' and so on since there is no objective postion, each experiences from their own POV as your 38 answer says. I doubt the I Ching will ever give anyone certainty about how someone they aren't in touch with is feeling....no answer, however good will ever be enough. 5 minutes after aksing one question you will want to ask another for confirmation etc etc. One can be consulting repeatedly on relationships as a defensive device, a way of keeping it alive, avoidance of the obvious, so it is important you ask yourself why you are asking the question.
What exactly was it you thought or think X gave you that he has now withdrawn that you need back so badly ?[/U] 27.1 suggests its not something you really need anyway....and meanwhile you have your own magic tortoise you just let go of.
Maybe you could pinpoint that thing you perceive X to have withdrawn because did he ever actually give it you in the first place ?
You have a longing in you but I suggest, only suggest, it has absolutey
nothing to do with X or any other person this ever happened with. Don't get conned by your own drama . You just enacted a scenario with him that put you back to a familiar emotional scene....current phase painful longing. Rather than fixate on him as a player in the drama why not get aquainted with the real nature of that longing. You could be using the questions about him to dodge the real issue, subconsciously that is.
.
You can always go deeper.
They took time to stay still and view the big picture.
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).