...life can be translucent

Menu

Relationship questions

polaire

visitor
Joined
Mar 7, 2020
Messages
34
Reaction score
16
Hello dear all,
First thank you for all those nights on your threads, for sharing your stories, your questions and yours answers.
For years I'm reading clarity and I'm very happy to post for the first time.
I hope it will be relevant cause I'm asking the Yi about this question since month, so maybe...
My question is about a guy I work with, his not my boss but kind of... something between the client and the boss.
Sometimes I feel some ambiguity between us, we share often a deep connection on many subjects and a common sensibility.
And also sometimes we go through phases of crisis where communication turn chaotique and even aggressive on both ways.
And then we go back to something more soft in the same vibes. I had at the beginning a crush on him and I tempered myself a lot to stop my fantasy about him. But the possibility stays in a corner of my mind and of my heart.

So I asked (again) the love potential of our relationship.
And I got 60.3.6 change to 9 ufff.
From what I know it's a dry answer 60 not a love hexagram at all and I'm wondering if the Yi don't scold on me or warn me about my love daydreams...

So 60:
LIMITATION. Success.
Galling limitation must not be persevered in.

Maybe It's what I'm doing, sometimes, be hard on me keeping distance with him, sometimes be maybe a bit bitter about it?

Water over lake: the image of LIMITATION.
Thus the superior man
Creates number and measure,

And examines the nature of virtue and correct conduct.
Virtue? Maybe to be professional, a friend says : "No zob in a job" meaning not mixing sex and work. Behaving like a virtuous woman is what I must do.

60.3
He who knows no limitation
Will have cause to lament.
No blame.
If I don't limit myself it will be bad. Maybe it's about my fantasy, maybe I should just stop about it, it's gonna make me sad. And maybe in the past I crossed some lines with him, and he get cold for a while. but I feel that him too cross lines often... He's very tactile, sometimes flirty, ask very personal question. the boundaries between work and intimacy are often cross. but maybe it's just friendly I don't know.

What Lise says about that line talks to me a lot:

Not gathering restraint, the consequence is gathering laments. No fault.
If one's nature is not to restrain oneself, one gets into trouble. Don't lament it too much: it is part of what you are. If you accept yourself, then accept the trouble too.
It is true that I can be excessive and that I don't have a natural ability to restrain myself easily... Does the line invite to accept the way I am? I don't restrain my love and I have hard time to restrain my anger too, very slow to come happily. But I try to work on the last.

60.6
Galling limitation.
Perseverance brings misfortune.
Remorse disappears.
Maybe it's what I tried to do many time, to calm my heard and it turned bitter a bit. It has been the same bitterness from him mirroring at me. But maybe I'm projecting.
Lise says :
Bitter restraint, determination pitfall. Regret disappears.
The spirit should be restrained as little as possible. Fertility needs stimulation, if there isn't any, the field stays empty. Allotted size, space or time are not really important, but light and dark should be without limits.
Maybe I'm Also restrain something something that should be flowing. Maybe the 6 line in the other side of the coin of the 3rd?

Change to 9
THE TAMING POWER OF THE SMALL
Has success.
Dense clouds, no rain from our western region
IMAGE
The image of THE TAMING POWER OF THE SMALL.

Thus the superior man
Refines the outward aspect of his nature.

Maybe nothing big is possible in the love area between us and I must enjoy the small talks, the small flirting moments and the small things that are shared. And I need to work on the way I express my oscillations between to boundaries moments and bitter restrained ones.

Anyway, it doesn't look very good for Love.

So I asked "What is for me the best way to approach this relationship with him?"

I got 30.2.3 change to 38


30.
THE CLINGING. Perseverance furthers.
It brings success.
Care of the cow brings good fortune.
IMAGE

That which is bright rises twice:
The image of FIRE.
Thus the great man, by perpetuating this brightness,

Illumines the four quarters of the world.
There is an element of passion here, something burning, very stimulating, about work too, and work with him gives me ground in a way and I can live by doing a work I really like, food for the brain, the ears, the eyes and the heart and food in the plate. He has a very passionate personality too that I like and he gaves me an opportunity to share my "light" I think, and he sees it.

30.2
Yellow light. Supreme good fortune.
Wilhelm talks about culture and art and my job is about that.
Lise says:
Yellow Bright Bird. Very auspicious.
Make yourself clear to others and everything else to yourself. Your actions, your relations, your mind, your life. When all these are clear, open and true, you find the right directions in life and others will respect you. Obscurity and vagueness drain life of its energy.
That reminds me the Cindy Lauper song True colors, maybe I need to just be myself with him. Once I asked what was the problem between us and I got 36, I don't remember the lines...

30.3
In the light of the setting sun,
Men either beat the pot and sing
Or loudly bewail the approach of old age.

Misfortune.
Lise Says:
The Bright Bird of sunset. Not drumming on jars and singing, then big laments of old age. Pitfall.
If you are not able to use little events as cause for joy, happiness or togetherness, difficult times will be a disaster for you. Seemingly useless things can be extremely useful in another realm of consciousness, so open your eyes and look for them. If your heart stays young and open, so will you.

I don't know if that talk about the fact that this relationship is transitory, if that talks about the fact I'm not that young and maybe I'm scared to be over-age for meeting someone with who I could share a life, have children blablabla...
But the Lise interpretation talks to me. Maybe I have to enjoy all the little things that relationship offer me as I understood 9 earlier?

Change to 38

OPPOSITION. In small matters, good fortune.
IMAGE
Above, fire; below. The lake.
The image of OPPOSITION.
Thus amid all fellowship

The superior man retains his individuality.

Maybe it's what I feel , opposition sometimes, and fellowhip too. Anyway retains his individuality is opposite to couple daydream no? And maybe it talks about my situation at work with him, as I said he's not my boss, I'm freelancer.
It talks about good fortune, again in small matters...
So, I think I need to stay true to myself, be happy about little thing that this relation offer me and that's it?

Because I'm an excessive personne I asked how will evolve our relationship?
I got 20.1.2.3.4 change to 1
Maybe I don't see things clearly right now, and only from my point of view(20.2) with immature reading of the situation(20.1), Maybe it depends on how what I will decide and that this situation gives me the opportunity to look inside myself and to check within.(20.3)
I understand 20.4 in two ways, that I'm a guest in his kingdom, that I have a lot of independence and freedom in my work and in a way I learn from him how to manage a team. all of this in a creative process. I'm getting stronger at my work and I learn how to work with perseverance and regularity.
The funny thing is that in a way my work is making comptemplation a creative process :)

From those 3 readings I guess, this relationship is frustrating in a romantic way(60.6), I shouldn't be always thinking about lova lova (60.3) , but maybe I take romantically this clinging which is maybe from another sort of bond because I feel an affective emergency(30.3), anyway it gives me an opportunity to show my true colors to myself and to others (30.2) by doing my job (20>1)
and change my view on many things 20.

thank you for reading this long post and for the opportunity to write that down. I'm sorry for my bad English, doing my best:)
If you have some interpretation, advice or comment, I would be very glad to read you,
Thank you
 
D

diamanda

Guest
Hi polaire, welcome to posting :)

I asked (again) the love potential of our relationship 60.3.6 > 9
Someone knows no limits and this will turn out bad. When limits finally get applied, they will be ultra bitter. The result will be continued passive manipulation tricks. So who of the two of you knows no limits? You say he's a flirty guy. If the work-relationship limits get crossed further, this will have a bad result. I'm afraid that, like you, I don't see any love potential here.

What is for me the best way to approach this relationship with him? 30.2.3 > 38
Make as much money as you can - or even better make a 'brilliant departure' (30.2). Leave him behind and go out and party, while he laments his old age (30.3). Stay away from this creep (38).

how will evolve our relationship?
20.1.2.3.4 > 1

You're not seeing this clearly. Try to find more info on this guy, maybe even snoop. Also think back of guys with similar behaviour you've met before. 20.4 is clear - yes, you're just a guest, and perhaps soon he'll turn his flirting to yet another new guest/visitor, as he'll feel fired up by the thrill of a new person (1).

Also, there has already been all this flirty interaction between you, for quite some time as you say, with still zero result. The guy is not suitable for a loving relationship with you, if he was it would already have been obvious. In my opinion, don't waste another precious minute on him.
 

polaire

visitor
Joined
Mar 7, 2020
Messages
34
Reaction score
16
Hi polaire, welcome to posting :)

I asked (again) the love potential of our relationship 60.3.6 > 9
Someone knows no limits and this will turn out bad. When limits finally get applied, they will be ultra bitter. The result will be continued passive manipulation tricks. So who of the two of you knows no limits? You say he's a flirty guy. If the work-relationship limits get crossed further, this will have a bad result. I'm afraid that, like you, I don't see any love potential here.

What is for me the best way to approach this relationship with him? 30.2.3 > 38
Make as much money as you can - or even better make a 'brilliant departure' (30.2). Leave him behind and go out and party, while he laments his old age (30.3). Stay away from this creep (38).

how will evolve our relationship?
20.1.2.3.4 > 1

You're not seeing this clearly. Try to find more info on this guy, maybe even snoop. Also think back of guys with similar behaviour you've met before. 20.4 is clear - yes, you're just a guest, and perhaps soon he'll turn his flirting to yet another new guest/visitor, as he'll feel fired up by the thrill of a new person (1).

Also, there has already been all this flirty interaction between you, for quite some time as you say, with still zero result. The guy is not suitable for a loving relationship with you, if he was it would already have been obvious. In my opinion, don't waste another precious minute on him.

Hello Diamanda,
Thank you for taking a look at my issues and for answering to me :)
For 60.3.6 we see it quite the same way, Now I'm thinking that maybe hexagram 9, keeping things small is maybe a way to avoid this 60.3.6, by small matters it avoid bitterness and lamentation of the 2 lines.
It's difficult to say who has the habits to go over the limit, I think it's a similar issue for both of us...
For 30.2.3, I haven't seen the money side... I will reflect on your interpretation but this job and the interaction I have with this guy really offer me more than just money, I see it as an opportunity to grow, to improve my skills and to work on myself. I would like that 30.3 doesn't apply to me... but this age issues are on my mind and I must admit that I could be the one who can go through desperate party to lamenting times. I really need to leave that state of mind. Maybe ask the Yi how to do it ? Your "Stay away" is right I think, I think his more a fellow than a creep, Am I not as creepy myself wondering about all of this?
For 20.1.2.3.4, for sure your right, I'm not seing things clearly, I wear often pink glasses, then dark dark ones, I try to work on that binary way to look at things... and integrate that situations, people are not pink or black... I think you're right for the reste of your interpretation too.... and I think it's maybe possible to combine it with mine as both part of the picture?

And yes you're right to, zero result and I really need to stop wasting time on even questioning about blabla feelings blabla...
thank again Diamanta for sharing with me your point of you,
Have a good day!
 
D

diamanda

Guest
I think his more a fellow than a creep, Am I not as creepy myself wondering about all of this?
Well, this sounds like a classic case of a guy flirting with you, but not having any intention of getting together. Which is creepy. You, on the other hand, flirt with the guy (or in any case fancy him) and you have every intention of getting together. So the reason I called him a creep is because he's causing you stress, frustration, and anguish, all due to his pointless on-off flirting, while you actually sound honest because you feel that way and you also want to act that way. How can you see him as a fellow..? Friends are people who a) we don't fancy each other sexually, and b) cause pleasant feelings to us.
The fact that you're growing professionally is a totally different subject - and yet, if this guy is causing you so much anxiety and frustration, be aware that if you let it continue it may have an impact on your physical health. Is work progress worth all this sexual frustration? 9 is classic sexual frustration - heavy clouds, but no rain/sex. Don't know, I would personally delete this guy from my list of possibilities, he's bad news.
 

polaire

visitor
Joined
Mar 7, 2020
Messages
34
Reaction score
16
Well, this sounds like a classic case of a guy flirting with you, but not having any intention of getting together. Which is creepy. You, on the other hand, flirt with the guy (or in any case fancy him) and you have every intention of getting together. So the reason I called him a creep is because he's causing you stress, frustration, and anguish, all due to his pointless on-off flirting, while you actually sound honest because you feel that way and you also want to act that way. How can you see him as a fellow..? Friends are people who a) we don't fancy each other sexually, and b) cause pleasant feelings to us.
The fact that you're growing professionally is a totally different subject - and yet, if this guy is causing you so much anxiety and frustration, be aware that if you let it continue it may have an impact on your physical health. Is work progress worth all this sexual frustration? 9 is classic sexual frustration - heavy clouds, but no rain/sex. Don't know, I would personally delete this guy from my list of possibilities, he's bad news.

Hello diamanda, just to tell you that you were soooooooooo right.thank you again for your help, at time it was hard to take but I kept the reading and our exchange about it in a corner of my heart and the lock down has brung some truth.
Hope you're fine, wishing you. the best!
 

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top