Repeated Hex 51 - difficult relationship

[BlackSwan]

Hi all

I had been in a very difficult on again/off again relationship for almost 2yrs with someone I loved very much & was lead to believe the feelings were mutual. In fact those feelings came very quickly to him at the beginning of the relationship whereas it took a little bit of time for me. We had planned a future together.
The on & off part was all down to him, always combined with a hail of nasty words which he would later (days) say he meant none of it, that I was the love of his life & that I should ignore anything he says when angry & admitting he has issues. But this happened ALOT! Obviously very painful & also confusing.

So we broke up 6mths ago & tried to remain friends as I think we both thought the issues might be resolved at some stage & we'd have a future together. Then 3/4mths ago he picked a fight over something he took up wrong & did the same again, this time with no apology. Followed by a nasty email when I contacted him to get my stuff back.
We have not had contact since but I can't seem to get him out of my head or my heart, even though I know his behaviour was appalling. I can't seem to shake the strong connection we had.


I had consulted the iChing before with regards to him & it was pretty much spot on so I asked "How does he really feel about me?" & got Hex 51.5.6 > 25

I have gotten this hex previously with regards to him: 1 mth ago I asked "Is there any hope of a happy future with him" & got Hex 51.3.5 > 49 (& by future I meant any sort of harmonious relationship incl. friendship)


Sorry about the detailed background just thought it might help with the interpretation!

 

[blue_angel]

Hi,


I usually don't feel Iching will tell you how another feels and even if it does, its hard to really know if the answer is talking to you and your actions. But IF by rare chance the answer does reflect his feelings, this
is what I see...

51- it possible he recognizes his inner issues that cause him to yell and say mean things. Even describes how his issues affect him in a way he feels he needs to release, but its so much pressure hes not productive, instead he's like thunder shaking the ground you stand on. It would be hard to face you and these deeper issues. If he works on himself then he will become more calm, humble, and accepting. He may be contemplating this.

Line 5- describes the repeated pattern of yelling, meanness, and the break up. To keep this pattern would become dangerous. If he were to work on the root of the issues, the relationship would not be lost.

6- he feels unstable about his actions and the break up. You leaving and asking for your stuff back affected him deeply and he doesn't know how to express that, only in anger. So he's
afraid to act any further, he knows he may
repeat the pattern, and knows its not your
fault. It seems over, as the time to repair
things have passed.

25- he knows better than to act, so he's disciplining himself. He's going about his daily life, since he wants to refrain from saying or doing anything wrong.

Again... you can very easily change this around so its speaking to you and what steps you should take. Its only a guess when asking of anothers feelings. Its better to ask about ones self, and how ones self should proceed. You get a clearer view and learn faster that way. Read the relationship sticky at the top of shared readings.

Good luck!

Blue_Angel

 

[BlackSwan]

Thanks blue angel!

I had asked i ching the how does he really feel question as I have been considering making contact for an important reason & was wondering if it was safe or if I'd be putting myself in a verbal minefield.
I had realized my question to be a bit unclear so asked again "How should I proceed with regards to him" & got 24.3 >36

I take this as to hold off in making contact, retreat & recharge myself & 36 it would be dangerous for me to make contact at this time, to stay hidden?


But what of the previous Hex 51 for "Is there any hope for a happy future with him?" (51.3.5 . 49) Not sure about the lines here? They seem to say it is messy at present but I need to concentrate on myself & the resulting 49 suggests positive change for the future?

Not sure if I have that right?

 

[BlackSwan]

Also thank you blue angel for your interpretation

That scenario is almost identical to what he has described to me in the past during longer stints of our separation; he is aware of his issues & how negatively they affect all of his close relationships. But whether he will face them & deal with them is another story.

I have only recently been getting into the interpretations of i ching readings & I am amazed at how accurate they have been!

 

[blue_angel]

Hi,

"How should I proceed with him?" 24.3>36

24- yes, give it time, rest, and recover.

Line 3- sounds like eventually after some repairs or change is made you may be able to work this out. Seek the good but be careful the pattern does not repeat.

36- for now, you are wounded. He probably is too. So hide your light but don't let it go out.

 

[blue_angel]

"Is there any hope for a happy future with him?" 51.3.5>49

Seems like, yes its possible.

51- the shock, the fighting and yelling

Line 3- even if you are scared of him, say and do what you feel is right. Stand up for yourself, be confident and brave.

Line 5- if you can work together and keep from repeating these patterns of fighting and breaking up. Work on the issues together then

49- you will experience a big change for the better. But it takes time, work, and care to get there.

Hope that helps,

Blue_Angel

 

[long yi]

Do not waste time on this relationship.
#25 is hopeless; #49 is revolution (major changes).
#51 is a 3 pair conflict hexagram that no mutual agreement can be reached.

Without looking into the details using six line method, the answer is that the chance is very poor.
Hex 25 = Death in Tarot Card
This means the relationship is already over some time ago. No hope for rebirth.

#49 = Ten of wands in Tarot
it indicates that there is something in the relationship which needs to be examined, looked at, and considered. You will not gain by pretending that there are no problems. If you're in the market for love, do not despair. Your time will eventually come, but perhaps now is a good time to halt your search and just take some time for rest and reflection.

Without going in detail of any type of Tarot in-depth analysis, Iching six line method, trigram method, change line method, the answer is clear, please walk away for awhile and rethink your own life.

The choice of lovers is reflect in affordability and desirability (Iching teachings). You have desire to have a relationship that both parties cannot afford to keep it together.

Sorry, no good news. Ending means also a new beginning for other things in life. You are just shocked (#51), but not hurt.

 

[BlackSwan]

Interesting two different interpretations...thank you both!

I consulted again asking " What does the outcome look like for he & I ?" & got 2.2.6 >4
Which I take as get on with things myself, rebuild my inner strength, be myself, do not force anything & leave it up to him to take the lead to making contact. Again with line 6 warning me, not too sure of line 2 or the resulting Hex 4? Perhaps it's telling me to stop worrying about it & let it naturally play out?


I also asked "Will I find happiness with someone new?" & received 49.2 > 43
So a big change with 49 but line 2 speaks of reform? So maybe not with someone new? And not sure about the resulting hex 43 "Determination"? I take this as I must stay true to myself, not let negativity (both external & internal influences) seep into my beliefs.

Sorry about all these readings! I think I need to leave it be for now

 

[BlackSwan]

Interesting two different interpretations...thank you both!

I consulted again asking " What does the outcome look like for he & I ?" & got 2.2.6 >4
Which I take as get on with things myself, rebuild my inner strength, be myself, do not force anything & leave it up to him to take the lead to making contact. Again with line 6 warning me, not too sure of line 2 or the resulting Hex 4? Perhaps it's telling me to stop worrying about it & let it naturally play out?


I also asked "Will I find happiness with someone new?" & received 49.2 > 43
So a big change with 49 but line 2 speaks of reform? So maybe not with someone new? And not sure about the resulting hex 43 "Determination"? I take this as I must stay true to myself, not let negativity (both external & internal influences) seep into my beliefs.

Sorry about all these readings! I think I need to leave it be for now

Anyone any insight or experiences with these two Hex's?? ( 2.2.3 > 4 & 49.2 > 43)

I'd be interested to hear of other's interpretations

 

[anemos]

I also asked "Will I find happiness with someone new?" & received 49.2 > 43

interesting that you talked about what rationally have to do and what your heart yearns and hex 43 mention that struggle too.

When you will be ready (49.2), decide and announce (43) you are available for a new relationship you will let someone enter in you life. Relationships is a combination of discovery but mainly of invention and sometimes we need to re-invent our selves, sing and seal our declaration (43) of happiness .

be happy

 

[mirian]

Dear newbie21,

I am sorry to say that but I don't think that all those Hex 51 have anything to do with rebuilding this relationship. In all the questions regarding a possible future together the Yi is showing how the difficulties in this relationship deeply affect you emotionally and how you and your ex boyfriend react differently. Looking into all your readings, I can only think that your happiness is not in this relationship but out there, with someone else, in the future, as anemos said.

Take care :bows:

 

[psychonaut613]

I'm altruistic, but I think the 51 is just saying how things are and these "shocks" maybe make you both feel alive and I think the 25 and follow your own tao(24) suggests returning to an innocent nature in the sense of starting over internally after these arguments or whatever and having an attiitude of newness and nowness in the situation which may ease him and allow him to gravitate toward who you want him to be.

I think some people are afraid to hurt others and want to know the person can take what they dish out.

 

[Trojina]

any updates on what happened ?

 

[Trojina]

this is what happened next

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?18544-Ex-contacting-me-out-of-the-blue

 

[BlackSwan]

Hi trojina.

Yes he has contacted me out of the blue & asked to meet up. I'm still unsure wether I want to or not.
I'll probably come to a decision in the next day or two.

 

[ginnie]

Let yourself get free of the influence of this thundering man, Newbie21, because you sound like a lovely person, very understanding, caught in an unsettling situation. Your 49.2>43 says that all that stands between you and a new relationship is your own decision that you want one.