Reuniting with Friends; 31.4>39 and 50 UC

[marybluesky]

I had a dream where I was with two ex-friends- A & N- who were once dear to me. I considered them intimate friends I could trust. In my dream A was kind and radiant, as he always was; and N sat by my side, creating a delightful atmosphere.

These friendships started several years ago. "A" came into my life and go; while I saw N steadily until we fell apart. Our days together were the best of my life. We had similar interests, were really at ease in the presence of each other, and somehow grew up toghter.

Once A posted a photo of our mountain hiking after more than a year, captioning that those were the best days of his life, which interested me very much as I felt the same. On the other hand, a common friend said that N remembers me as a reliable friend even after cutting the contacts.

Both friendships ended last year for different reasons, and not in good terms. I valued them so much, did my best to save them but after some point felt neglected, as if my efforts hadn't been appreciated but were abused. I tried to replace A & N with new friends without success.

I asked the I Ching if the dream signs anything in real life, and got 31.4>39

Wavering, going and coming until the friends follow one's thought in an atmosphere of 39- obstacle & loneliness.

It's true that I have been rather isolated for a long time and it's not healthy: I mainly met my family and had near to zero social life. Maybe COVID-19 & distancing measures worsened that, but I can't see it as the main reason for my lack of close friendships.
Recently I started to contact a friend who lives in another city. Initially I felt like I had nothing to say, however it was better than pure isolation. I also let another friend to re-enter my life, but he's unstable and I can't count on him. Obviously these contacts don't brighten my life as A an N did.

I took the answer as I should start "coming and going" with A and N little by little- even if that's to be virtual at this virus time.

I then asked what happens if I start contacting them and got 50 uc.
Cauldron; supreme success! Only it may need some time to "cook".

Reconnecting N & A isn't easy at all given our terms of separation. It's a matter of pride.

Any thoughts?

 

[Trojina]

I asked the I Ching if the dream signs anything in real life, and got 31.4>39

In a sense dreams are 'real life' as they can be the way people connect on the astral or etheric plane. Thoughts are things, they ping back and forth between people and I think we can take that as pretty much factual if we notice how often we get a sudden thought of someone and later find they were thinking of contacting us or they do contact us.

So I think your answer signifies that

I had a dream where I was with two ex-friends- A & N- who were once dear to me. I considered them intimate friends I could trust. In my dream A was kind and radiant, as he always was; and N sat by my side, creating a delightful atmosphere.

.....your dream signifies that indeed you and A and N met on some level, you were thinking of one another and a connection happened on that level.


Hilary's translation from wikiwing

'Constancy brings good fortune, regrets vanish.
Wavering, wavering, going and coming,
Friends simply follow your desires.'


Friends follow your initiative, they go along with what you propose. In your heart you still love them even though things went wrong and in their hearts they know that on some level. Will that translate to renewed friendship in waking life though ? Waking life is a lot denser, it's much more like moving through treacle, there's so many obstacles between people knowing one another's true intentions, there's so many outside factors affecting things too (39). So whilst in dream time it's just you and them, there's no other people, buses to run for, things to do, your intent or rather the impulse of your heart wavers, there's so many diversions it's actually quite hard to make a heartfelt connection. It's not hard at all in the etheric plane.

What can you do ? Well I'd think you were all thinking of one another but is that enough to make you want to call them or text them ? Yi shows you wavering and it also shows you as having influence over your friends. Maybe you might send a message ?

I mean this answer suggests moving towards connection rather than away from it. it also says 'constancy brings good fortune' so it's good fortune to continue to be sincere to these people even through the 'wavering wavering'.


Also line 4s are usually active lines of doing, it's the line of the minister who carries out orders. Perhaps it is you who is called to issue these orders to your friends, tell then what you'd like to happen.

 

[marybluesky]

Thanks Trojina.

I indeed believe that some emotions & relationships mainly happen in a plane different from our earthy, daily lives. I find it extremely tragic when a wonderful connection with lots of potential that goes beyond normal gives & takes faces obstacles and stops in the material world [I've felt it... sigh].

It was a sweet dream; and this is maybe the sweetest thread I've ever written here. I sensed a nice spiritual energy when creating it.

I'm wavering, yes; and despite having thought a lot about those friends since the dream, I couldn't manage to contact them. The reading points this and says constancy brings good fortune. 50uc has a similar message, too. So lets see.

 

[marybluesky]

Update:

Some days after posting this thread I found the courage to send messages to A & N.

"A" called me a few hours after receiving my message and started a short but passionate conversion. He talked about his life; even explained that he'd been taking lessons at the time the message was sent & that's why he called me later. I didn't talk much. The call made me happy though, making me feel that the friendship is resumed, and with a stronger knot. I had asked about how the things would go on and got 54.1.4>7; which indicates joining someone after going through a less than ideal situation and delays. The hidden line is 40.4: releasing the thumb, the partner arrives with truth and confidence.The result is positive.

"N", on the other hand, replied my message a few hours later with an apparently friendly, but cold, somehow stinging language. I could guess this. Besides, I had asked the above question about N too, and interestingly, the result was 54.1.4.6>4! The same cast except that here we've the sixth line too that shows a fruitless attempt.


Well, at least the blockage is over. Again, lets see.

 

[becalm]

Perfect - I love updates!!

 

[Trojina]

Update:

Some days after posting this thread I found the courage to send messages to A & N.

"A" called me a few hours after receiving my message and started a short but passionate conversion. He talked about his life; even explained that he'd been taking lessons at the time the message was sent & that's why he called me later. I didn't talk much. The call made me happy though, making me feel that the friendship is resumed, and with a stronger knot. I had asked about how the things would go on and got 54.1.4>7; which indicates joining someone after going through a less than ideal situation and delays. The hidden line is 40.4: releasing the thumb, the partner arrives with truth and confidence.The result is positive.

"N", on the other hand, replied my message a few hours later with an apparently friendly, but cold, somehow stinging language. I could guess this. Besides, I had asked the above question about N too, and interestingly, the result was 54.1.4.6>4! The same cast except that here we've the sixth line too that shows a fruitless attempt.


Well, at least the blockage is over. Again, lets see.

How interesting you got the same cast twice. I'd say these casts may well indicate your initial reason for pulling back from them was spot on. I mean this below is just like 54.1.4>7

I valued them so much, did my best to save them but after some point felt neglected, as if my efforts hadn't been appreciated but were abused.

So these 54 casts I'd say confirm you weren't being prioritised and so you took action, defensive action in the 7 and I don't think that was the wrong thing to do.


It's not that 54 is always 'bad' even for relationships but no one wants to feel devalued when it's their heart they offer in friendship. It also worth bearing in mind other people can mistreat us, sounds obvious but often, particularly women, will look for their own shortcomings rather than see the shortcomings in the friends.


But overall these responses here with the 54 are quite nuanced as if even second best from people is okay sometimes (54.1)


relationships ebb and flow don't they sometimes and we can't control the tides here in 54 but I like the Image, Wilhelm

'Thus Mary
Understands the transitory
In the light of the eternity of the end'


Hilary's Image for 54


'Mary, through ever- flowing endings
Knows what wears out'


So I think you are asked to think big in 54 even when your status seems quite low, you are asked to look at the big picture.


With these 2 friends there is a bigger picture, it's all part of a larger cycle for all of you that you can't exactly see clearly. It seems to me with A, as you said, things aren't ideal but it seems worth going on with the relationship to some extent through dissatisfaction. In line 4 you're also holding back a bit, refusing any contracts of friendship that don't sit well with you.

With B and 54.6 also there seems less sincerity there and yet you are all still bound together in a bigger story (54). There could well be far less of an element of choice in this for all of you than any of you know. In 54 there's a marriage into a far greater unknowable reality.

Once A posted a photo of our mountain hiking after more than a year, captioning that those were the best days of his life, which interested me very much as I felt the same. On the other hand, a common friend said that N remembers me as a reliable friend even after cutting the contacts.

If you both experienced the best days of life together then something significant is/was happening in those times.


Maybe for now you accept the ebb and flow 'in the light of the eternity of the end', something special there that withstands time even if it's not apparent now ?

 

[marybluesky]

What I felt about our connection is bigger than words; just can say it was different from anything I've experienced in my life.

Friends came and go and it feels normal: you are together, then fall apart, anyone goes their way and new companions arrive. But with A & N, especially A, it had a different essence I can't explain. It wasn't the companionship you can replace, a role that any trust-able, friendly person can play for you.

It felt like being connected to the universe. The nature always attracted me in a mysterious way, like it called me to intensely join it, to find the great secrets behind its outstanding scenes and become one with it, though I didn't know how. Like an unrequited love. I used to think the satisfaction will come by exploring the nature with the love of my life. I'm not sure now.

For me those friends were part of the very universe, beyond the daily gives and takes and conversations. I felt more connected to the life through my connection to them.

If you both experienced the best days of life together then something significant is/was happening in those times.

It's absolutely true for me. Something magic flowed at those days of my life. I sensed it begin and end. It beautifully colored my days, everything I did. And when it was over, it was. I felt this flow in two periods A & N were present in my life, which was much lower after we fell apart, though I tried to make best of it.

That's all I can explain.

I considered these connections to be fated, unavoidable. After they decided to neglect it, however, I decided to go my way and put my energy somewhere else.

Your comment delighted me Teojina; it brought tears into my eyes, as if you talked from the depth of my experience. I had sensed wholeheartedly what you said about the larger cycle, the eternity and the significant thing that happened between me and my friends.

 

[marybluesky]

UPDATE:

9 months is past and the things proceeded like that:

I contacted N only one time- the one I indicated here.
A, on the other hand, was the guy I was obsessed with. I reunited with him shortly in early spring, then all I felt for him faded.

31.4>39 indicated friends following my thoughts. Well, I'm not the type who follows up relationships if the other party pushes back. Maybe the friendships could be reformed if I followed up. I don't regret it anyway.