romance question 19.3.4 > 34

[manitoba33]

I asked "what are V's feelings towards me right now?"

I got 19.3.4 > 34

I never know how to interpret 34 - is this great vigor towards or away from me.

Line 3 doesn't look good. What's going on with him based on this reading?

 

[emiliana2010]

Hi manitoba33,
I'm in no way an expert at I Ching, but I like to share what I understand from the hexahrams:

“The companions approach the base of the mountain as the path winding upwards becomes visible. We should move forward with a slow, steady confidence, but be aware that further up the mountain, the path fails and we will be forced to trail blaze. That is to say, the first leg will be easy, but further along in the future, we can expect significant difficulties.”

It seems to me that this men likes also other people and his feelings for you are not the same as yours for him. From this standpoint you can decide how to relate to him.
I have an image of you two working together or in a related way, and your business relation will strengthen.

Tâ Kwang (34) indicates that (under the conditions which it symbolises) it will be advantageous to be firm and correct.
Remember: firm in being correct.

All the best.
Emiliana

 

[tiziano]

I never know how to interpret 34 - is this great vigor towards or away from me.

I think Yi is giving you a clue with hex 19, "Nearing" so towards you.

Given your question, I'd assume both lines refer to his position (not depicting the two of you, for instance).
In line 3 he nears towards you sweetly and seducts you, and has power on you, and is tempted to be pleased with that.
In line 4 the situation is reversed, you have power on him. So don't underestimate this, he seems to be emotionally as involved as you. He is in general a bit too weak (2 yin lines), and is reacting to this trying to find more power, maybe the risk is that he aliments his ego with the fact that you are involved, because it makes him feel stronger, instead of living the whole relationship more naturally. I think it's a matter of insecurity, it's not your or his fault, it's just his nature or character. Nearing towards you makes him feel stronger, so it is good, but it should be lived with serenity. Line 3 says he can stop feeling excessively pleased or proud, and so avoid blame, and the presence of line 4 (no blame) makes this possibility real. Try to make him feel that a beautiful romance is something natural (or "normal") and that no one has merit or blame in it, it just happens, and no one should feel they "have to do" something to keep it going. There are forces beyond you, as the two related hexagrams to your lines (11 and 54) also show. "Feeling strong" (34) the wrong way is just a step from having to retreat (33, and cf. also line 34.3).

 

[ginnie]

Your relationship really is at the very beginning.

Stephen Karcher writes: "Move towards what is approaching without expecting to get what you want immediately."

I think the utmost delicacy and adherence to traditional roles is required here. You definitely do not want to come on too strong.

 

[manitoba33]

Thank you all so much! Propriety is very much the name of the game here and although we have had an email relationship and "mutual admiration society" I told him I was developing a crush on him and that I thought it was inappropriate that we be in touch. The reason for that was pure and simple: he is married with a 5 year old daughter and he works closely with his wife. I suspected that feelings on both sides could be developing so I did exactly that: "what was firm and correct" and as far as the traditional roles I know both of us have very firm ideas about doing what is right as we are both on similar spiritual paths through the study of Kabbalah. The reason I asked what his feelings were about me, was because he (rightly) never responded to my email and I wondered what his feelings were about my outright confession.

Before any of you castigate me for asking the I Ching a question about a married man's feelings for me, I know that I will keep a safe distance and was the one to draw the line, but have always wondered his true feelings towards me and reaction to my doing the "right thing."

Thank you all for your interpretations - much appreciated! Who knows, maybe 10-15 years down the road our paths will converge again.