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Romantic Relationship Advice with Multiple Hexagrams

twostwostwos

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Hi there, This will be a rather lengthy post. My readings are as follows: 1. What should I know when I do make a choice to leave her? Hexagram 26.2- 222. What should I know when I make a choice to stay in this relationship? Hexagram 18.2.4.6- 623. How to improve this relationship? Hexagram 55.3- 514. How do I obtain her true love? Hexagram 10.1.2.5- 355. Does she really love me? Hexagram 34.1.2- 62A bit of background before I delve into my interpretation of the Hexagrams, my relationship with this person has been extremely tumultuous. We are currently dating, but having a non-sexual relationship for the past 1.5+ years because she has told me that she is not comfortable with our physical relationship and is not physically attracted to me in any manner. This is a huge contrast to when we first met, but that is another tale for another time. Before anyone mentions about the problem of the lack of physical relationship, she is borderline asexual and has been so with her previous partners so this is the least of my concern at this moment. We were dating for 6 months before we separated due to a couple of issues. She went MIA and refused to have any contact with me. We bumped into each other again 3 months later at an event, which led to me re-contacting her and aggressively re-pursuing the relationship. From that point onwards, we had more than a year where we were healing wounds created previously. Our relationship now is stable but fraught by a lack of enthusiasm and passion- factors that I initially enjoyed with her. Being a fairly hot-blooded person, I am appalled by the lack of energy on her part towards this relationship, even when she professes her love for me every night. Although I am quite confident that she does love me, I am not sure whether this love is because she is so comfortable and content with me, or whether it is the love that one has towards a romantic partner. Her lethargy in this relationship is coupled with her unpredictability of moods. She is stable and hardworking at work, but expresses a plethora of emotions when she is with me, most of which are bordering on toxic without her realisation. Even with my dedication and devotion to her, I have been at the receiving end of all these emotions and behavior, and it makes me extremely disgruntled to know that I have sacrificed an opportunity for her. I am not complaining, but at my wit's end. In the last 3 months, I have been contemplating whether it is the right thing to do to leave her. Thus, my first question: What should I know when I do make a choice to leave her? Hexagram 26.2- 22Line 2 speaks about "axletrees taken from the wagon." To me, that just means an inability to move on properly, because how can a wagon move without axletrees. However, the change to Hexagram 22 seems to approve of my decision, albeit with the advice that it is best to approach it with "greater earnestness." Does this mean that to leave her, I would have to be harsh on myself? What should I know when I make a choice to stay in this relationship? Hexagram 18.2.4.6- 62Line 2 says "one should not attempt to proceed too drastically," which I take to mean that if I wish to stay in this relationship, I have to be patient with her. Line 4 continues with "someone too weak to take measures against decay that has its roots in the past and is just beginning to manifest itself." This situation feels familiar. Does this mean that she is too weak in character to fully get rid of me, and thus the decay continues to rot? Or does this mean me being too weak to get rid of this relationship? Line 6 is a confusing progression as it speaks about sages and "not serve kings and princes." Am I missing something? Would it mean that just because I choose to remain in this relationship that I should not "remain idle" and that I should be proactively doing something about it? Hexagram 62 seems to touch on being real in character. As a whole, I would believe that this reading is advising me to remain true to myself while being patient. How to improve this relationship? Hexagram 55.3- 51Line 3 speaks about an "eclipse" that has completely covered the foreground. To me this means that there is little hope in this relationship as one party is not aware about the contributions of the other, thus "impossible for an able man, though he might be the right hand of the ruler, to undertake anything." I assume this means that there is nothing I can do to improve this relationship and that it is better to do nothing. Hexagram 51, however, speaks about "shock brings success." If I do not do anything, how does this relate to a shock? How do I obtain her true love? Hexagram 10.1.2.5- 35This hexagram is extremely telling and submissive. Line 1 speaks about "simple conduct" and not making demands on people. Which would relate back to my question about what would happen if I chose to stay in this relationship (H18,L2). Line 2 of H10 talks about being a "lonely sage," which makes a lot of sense to me as this is exactly how I feel like right now. She dedicates most of her time to work and does not text me much at work, even when there is a window of opportunity to. When she leaves work, we communicate but with the barest of words. Line 5 boggles me. Even with "resolute conduct" and perseverance, it is telling me to be aware of danger. What danger is this likely to refer to, and why would this make success possible? The turn to Hexagram 35 seems positive despite all the permutations of Hexagram 10. Does this reading mean that if I wish to garner her sincere love, I would have to be true, simple and accept things for what they are? But what is the deal about the danger? 5. Does she really love me? Hexagram 34.1.2- 62I know that one should try not to use the i-ching to ask yes/no questions, but I am really puzzled at this point, and sometimes I just need a straightforward answer. However, this Hexagram does not really make things much easier for my understanding. Line 1 begins with "Power in the toes. Continuing brings misfortune." The toes are not the strongest anatomical part of the body, so does this mean that her love is little and of no consequence? And that attempting to make her love me will not be the best situation to endeavour for? Line 2, however, continues with "Perseverance brings good fortune." How is it possible when the previous line has obviously stated that it is not well to continue? Hexagram 62 then continues to make things complicated. This, I have no explanation for and am unable to break it down. So what do you guys think?
 

moss elk

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Not a single thing in your post,
the readings, your description of her behaviour, and your own own angst and desperation look good, to me, for a relationship.
 

rosada

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What to know if you make the choice to leave: 26.2 - 22 [why do you list it as 222?]
You are not really thinking of leaving, you fantasize that you might but at this point you are not going anywhere.
What to know if you choose to stay? 18.2.4.6 - 62?
Just tolerating the situation is not a good strategy for improvement but you are getting something out of the arrangement so you accept it. 62. Perhaps there could be some minor improvements but basically it is what it is.
How to improve the relationship? 55.3 - 51.
Really nothing you can do to improve it accept have an attitude of calm - or get out.
How to obtain her true love? 10.1.2 - 35.
Recognize that the two of you are on your individual paths and encourage each other.
Does she really love me? 34.1.2 -62.
She is not looking to make a deeper commitment to you or the relationship but she is not looking to change it either.

All in all the advice seems to be that you should look at the relationship and ask yourself, "If I knew that the way things are now is the way it always will be, would I want to stay?" Maybe that's the next question you should ask the I Ching!
 

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