second and fifth line in relationships

[gene]

Lines two and five

Hello everyone:

Circe had asked the question about yin lines meaning female and yang lines meaning males. At the time I mentioned that it depends on the situation; t hat nothing in itself should be taken a certain way unless it is intuited that it should be that way. Then I mentioned that in hexagrams where line two, (changing) is yin and line five (changing) is yang are the best lines for relationships. In keeping with that I looked for the first hexagram that has a yin line for line two and a yang for line five, and it turns out that hexagram is number three. Isn’t it natural that it should be that way?
Hexagram three is the first hexagram where yin and yang intermix. There are many ways to look at the first two hexagrams. On the one hand, both hexagram one and two are very spiritual powers that interact with each other and form an integrated whole. On another level, (and there are multiple levels of meaning) hexagram one depicts spirit whereas hexagram two depicts matter. (The energies of yin and yang are energies of consciousness and therefore have awareness.) When taken this way then hexagram one has consciousness, hexagram two does also but is unaware of that consciousness. Matter is infused with spirit because spirit is its source. But spirit is what gives consciousness and what gives life.

Inherent in the nuclear trigrams of hexagram three is the story of the symbolic fall of spirit into matter. (Ken over k’un, which is in effect hexagram twenty three.) When spirit infuses itself into matter, (matter is just the condensation of spirit) matter tends to limit the consciousness of spirit. Therefore, just as in the story of the prodigal son, matter, being in reality spirit, must find its way back to the source. Therefore in hexagram three we see the first attempts of the material world to revert to its true state, that of spirit.

So what does that have to do with relationships? Well, everything. Because relationships are unconsciously an attempt to integrate yin and yang, male and female, into one integrated whole. But it doesn’t happen just because we want it to. We must be integrated within ourselves before we can integrate with our partner. Therefore, at the beginning, as it is said in line two, horse and wagon part. Now, in fitting with the mystical nature of the meaning of the lines this can be taken two ways. One, it can mean that the horse, (male) and the wagon (female) separate. On another level it can be taken that both the horse and wagon depart to head for “the promised land.” This is a gradual process, and any attempt to hasten the process leads to disaster. (See hexagram 53 and related.) This line also tells us, (among many things I have no time to go into now) that the proper role for the yin force is to delay, to check out the possibilities, to make sure that this is the correct way, the correct male force for her. Line five shows the proper role for the male, in accepting this delay. While it is in the nature of the male force to move and take strong action, here the male force must allow for the reticence of the female, and defer to her in many ways.

This is getting too long so I will have to go into it in greater depth later.

Gene

 

[lienshan]

In keeping with that I looked for the first hexagram that has a yin line for line two and a yang for line five, and it turns out that hexagram is number three. Isn’t it natural that it should be that way?

And the last one is number sixtythree. Isn’t it natural that it should be that way?

 

[gene]

I wasn't planning on this, but since it was brought up, I will make a very short, and quick, note on hexagram 63. The second line says, "The woman loses the curtain of her carriage. Do not run after it, after seven days you will get it back.

After the illusionary separation of spirit and matter in the beginning, the attemp is made in hexagram three to recreate the original unity. In hexagram 63, it is accomplished. The woman does not pursue. She simply acts in accordance with her nature, and throughout all the changes, she eventually regains the unity that was lost at the beginning. Seven days is a symbol for a "complete tour of duty." In this end, (hexagram 63 indicates completion), all is restored. The curtain, (a symbol of veiling,) of unknowing, is returned, and all is now known as spirit and matter, male and female return to their proper place in relationship to each other. In the Bible this same story is presented in the story of the marriage at Cana. On the cosmic level, spirit and matter are also integrated into a complete whole. (The illusion of separation is overcome). Line five makes a sacrifice. He sacrifices the incompleteness of his true nature and his tendency toward self sufficiency and selfishness as he becomes united with the female. In order to gain something we have to lose something that we really didn't need anyway, once we see things as they really are.

 

[gene]

Before this discussion goes any further it must be understood that in the typical way of understanding yin and yang, at least from the western perspective, there is no such thing as yin and yang. They are just concepts, and yin is only yin in relationship to something else, and yang is only yang in relationship to something else. As such the earth might be yang in relationship to the moon, but yin in relationship to the sun. The sun also can be yin in relationship to the solar system or the stars or such. Whatever is yin in one circumstance can well be yin in another. It is a common error to think something is either yin or yang. It is not. Yin and Yang are not absolute concepts. They refer to qualities, not to things. Nothing is intrinsically yin or yang. The yinness and the yangness associated with a subject do not refer to physical qualities, only concepts. Therefore, a yin line can sometimes refer to a male, and a yang line can sometimes refer to a female. Often they refer only to qualities of a person and not the person themselves.

In doing readings, especially when two or more lines are changing, it is often necessary to view the relationships of the lines. The only I Ching versions that I know for sure do this are: Wilhelm/Baynes, Hua-Ching Ni, and Alfred Huang. The most basic rules are that the proper places for yin lines are the second, fourth, and sixth line, and the proper places for yang lines are the first, third, and fifth. If this is not so the line is inconsidered to be incorrect. Secondly, certain lines correspond with each other if one is yin and one is yang. The first line corresponds with the fourth, the second with the fifth, and the third with the sixth. There is also a secondary relationship between the first and second lines, the third and fourth, and the fifth and sixth. There is also a loose relationship with the neighboring line, either directly above or directly below.

Since this is so, in hexagram 44 for example, the first line can refer to a female, or it can refer to a possibly devious male, or it can refer to a situation, but since in this work, the emphasis is on relationships we will consider it either male or female. In the same way, the fifth line can refer to a male, but since the female is strong, it can also refer to a female. (It can actually refer to anything, but for the scope of this work, we will keep it that way.) Why does the text say the female is strong? First, this is so because the yin line is a line that is properly yang, secondly, because the upper trigram and the two nuclear trigrams are ch’ien which refers to the power of heaven, and thirdly, because the fifth line, the place of the ruler is strong. Following the law of correspondence, we see in this hexagram that the first line has by the law of correspondence, a relationship with the fourth line. But in this hexagram it is said they do not. Why would that be? Well, often it would not matter so much but here it does because neither line is in its proper place. Therefore, the first and fourth line cannot meet with each other, since, in one case, the second line which also relates, already has the lady “wrapped up.” The fourth line cannot get to her. The second and third lines are strong and interfere. In this hexagram the lady has no correspondence with the fifth line, by the rule, but here she actually does, because the ruler of the hexagram is the fifth line and is strong. In a sense, it can be said that the lady has two lovers. This is one reason why it is said, she is strong, and not to be married.

Now, don’t take this to mean that every time you get a first and fifth line changing that this is the case. It might be, but not likely. It might be more likely if the first, second, and fifth lines are changing. But even then it depends on the circumstances. Your intuition will tell you. It is important not to get caught up with rules, but look at each case for its own merits.

More on this later.

Gene

 

[mythili]

Gene,
I was wondering then, how you would see the two situations - 3.2,5>19 and 63.2,5>11 in relationship readings. Are they predicting two different outcomes, because the starting points are different?
Thanks.

 

[gene]

mythii

I don't have my I Ching books on this right now. I'll get back to you. Both relating hexagrams have positive aspects in them regarding relationships. When the second line is yang and the fifth yin, you fairly often have a situation where the female in some way is in a higher social class than the male, but that is not the whole story. By the law of correspondence, the 2nd and 5th relate in the relating hexagrams, but neither is in its correct place. In hexagram 19, there is usually an approach of the lower to the higher in order to learn from the higher level master. In terms of relationships, this can show an approach where a man has to show a great deal of respect for the woman before he can approach. He must do it in the right way. Hexagram 11 has some relationship to hexagram 54. Notice the two fifth lines are very similar. Also, hexagram 54 is eleventh from the end of the I Ching. In hexagram 3 line three we find the male and female soulmates, in attempting to find each other, must find their way out of the forest of confusion. One way this confusion can manifest is in a lack of understanding of the role each should play with each other. In line two we see the woman mistaking the man's intentions. Since lines two and five are the middle lines they therefore negotiate the hexagram, and when they both change, the resulting hexagram gives us a hint about the outcome of following a proper path. In the case of nineteen, by following the correct path, the two lovers approach each other and become more accustomed to each other, and come to know their differences and samenesses.

Anyway, give me some time to look at it and think about it.

Gene

 

[mythili]

Thanks! This is opening things up for me, and I have to digest this a bit more. So 3>19 looks at the difficulties inherent in accepting each other, but the acceptance does occur at some level. And might these difficulties arise because of the simultaneous attitudes of the two people - Line 5, who is not able to give enough of himself to the relationship because of other circumstances, and consequently, Line 2 not being sure what Line 5's intentions are? Or maybe Line 2 is cause and Line 5's attitudes are effect?

 

[gene]

Hello Mythili

I think in general you have the right idea. I would like to interject here, so many people, in doing readings, just like at the hexagram and line, and for the specific reading that is okay up to a point. But what is missed is that the I Ching in its entirety is a story. It is essentially, on one level at least, the story of the prodigal son who returns to the Father. Hexagram three is the beginning of the return, but everything is mystery at this point. Hexagram 3 hints at the need for a reunion, and hexagram 4 tells us that we need to learn the proper method of a return to the Father. As these ideas filter down, we come to understand that hexagram three depicts the beginnings of a relationship, and as such, each needs to "find" the other. In the story of the prodigal son the son at first does not remember who he is. In the same way, male and female seeks each other without realizing that the true intent of the search for each other is to return to the source. In otherwords, to complete their journey toward union on every level. The two opposite but complementary powers of the universe find their way back to union. Therefore, in the beginning, we have to, as line four says, "strive for union." This is not easy, our differences are enormous. We do not understand each other. Therefore, line two of hexagram four says, "To know how to take women brings good fortune." There are vast differences between how a man should act to attract a woman and how a woman should act to attract a man. A woman will not likely attract a man by acting aloof and arrogant, a man almost has to in most cases. There are many differences, so we don't understand each other.

Since hexagram three is the beginning, it is said, "Bringing oneself to take the first step..." (commentary line four) The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. We must find our way to integrate ourselves and unite our energies into one complementary whole. The gospel of Thomas (gnostic gospel) speaks of this when it says, "when the male becomes female, and the female male," (both having integrated their opposing energies) essentially, that is when we enter the kingdom of heaven, not by believing in Jesus. (My book on the gospel of John hopefully will be out on amazon kindle any day now.) In order to find our way, we must approach the master, as depicted in hexagram 19. Hexagram 63 is the hexagram showing completion, so when the second and fifth lines change, we have hexagram 11, which is a symbol for heaven on earth. The opposing energies are reintegrated, heaven and earth unite, and the prodigal son returns to the Father. (Matter returns to its source, spirit, or energy, and then the big bang happens all over again, spirit becomes matter, and the cycle repeats. This is depicted in hexagram 64.

Too much information, I know, but bear with me. I will get more specific to the social realm as this goes on.

Gene

 

[mythili]

Hi Gene,
Thanks for that explanation. I'm still not clear, though, if you think that there is any sort of cause and effect between lines 2 and 5, when they are the only pair of changing lines, i.e. if theres anything particularly important about this pattern of lines 2 and 5 in relationship readings. If they are moving independently of each other, then it leaves this business of having to "find each other, etc" a bit vague, almost a non-interdependent process. If the two lines do influence each other, then the situation becomes quite different and, I would think, more subject to individual direction-setting.
Thanks.

 

[gene]

mythili

I'll get back with you on this, although, I am not sure I completely understand your question. In a relationship reading, if for example, only the fifth line were changing, in order to get a more complete reading, you could read the second line also. This would not necessarily be part of the answer, but it would give you a little bit of light on the circumstances. In order to do this, I most strongly recommend the Wilhelm Baynes version of the I Ching, not because it is the greatest translation from the original, but the commentary is very esoteric, and gives information that can be found no where else. Book one gives the meaning of the individual lines, book three gives meaning of the lines as they relate to each other. However, it is only an example of the possibilities.

More later, and see my new comments below.

Gene

 

[gene]

While hexagrams with the second yin and fifth yang are being considered here, when they change you have a hexagram with the two lines in their incorrect places, yet these hexagrams too, as a rule have some very positive aspects about them. In the same way, hexagram sixty three has all of its lines in the correct place, but there is a warning here that the perfection cannot be maintained. In hexagram sixty four all the lines are in their incorrect place. Yet inherent in the hexagram is the promise of a very bright future. The rules of correspondence are general. They are not meant to be hard and fast rules, yet they can be very useful in terms of properly doing readings, especially when more than one line is changing.

Another thing to bring up before we get on with this relationship reading thread, is that the prototype for all yang lines can be found in hexagram one and the prototype for all yin lines can be found in hexagram two. So we can look at the fifth line of hexagram one and the second line of hexagram two to get a feel as to how to interpret these lines in a reading. Hence in hexagram one line five we read: “flying dragon in the heavens. It furthers one to see the great man.” Every male and every female has both yin and yang energy. The key for both sexes is to balance and integrate the energy. The essence of yang energy in its proper role, (there is true yang and false yang, just as there is true yin and false yin,) is to be strong and untiring, and to spread its influence to the outside world. In hexagram two line two we read: “Straight, square, great,. Without purpose, yet nothing remains unfurthered." Therefore, every male, and every female must integrate these two properties within him or herself. They must unite strength and creativity with integrity. Then, as the W/B commentary says, "everything turns out as it should." That is why it is important to not just do a reading, but analyze one’s own behavior to see how it contributes to the solution.

Now, when the two lines change, and we have a yang in the second line and yin in the fifth, we also see a very positive pattern in the I Ching. The second line of hexagram one says, “Dragon appearing in the field…” The W/B commentary says, “The light-giving power begins to manifest themselves." When we unite yin with yang in proper balance and measure, the light begins to shine within us. By integrating yin with yang we create a power within ourselves that is stronger than fate itself. It can also create superior health and a much longer life. These energies are real. If you want more information on this see the books written by Mantak Chia. We also become more enlightened. We become more at one with others. We become greater than the sum of our parts. The fifth line of hexagram two says, “A yellow undergarment brings supreme good fortune." The uniting of yin and yang energy leads to a true understanding of the world and interaction therewith in a way that works for all. The interaction of yin and yang creates the world. How much more when a truly integrated female interacts with a truly integrated male? But we must be firm within ourselves, or we will not find the person who is truly right for us.

More on this later

Gene

 

[gene]

Just a quick further note. A very strong relationship hexagram is hexagram 61, yet the second and fifth lines are both yang. Why is this? Because the 61st hexagram is about people coming together that are of like mind, they have an inner infinity. It is more of a "soulmate" type hexagram. It is said that on the physical level, opposites attract, yet in the realm of spirit, like attracts like. We find those who are meant to be with us for better or for worse. The second line says, "A crane calling in the shade. Its young (own kind) answer it. I have a good goblet, I will share it with you."

Each of us finds who we are attuned to, depending on our own level of maturity.

More on this later

Gene

 

[gene]

Mythili

I am still not sure exactly what you are asking. In terms of the first part of the question though, as far as cause and effect, I would say, more simply, that they are just interrelated, at least if they follow the law of correspondence, first with fourth, second with fifth, etc. When in a reading for example, if the second and fourth line are changing, and they are both yin, or both yang, there is not likely much of an interaction between the two. They may, in fact, be contenders for the same thing. If one is yang and one is yin, then there is not likely much of a relationship between them, although there could be, based on the nature of the question. So, for example, in hexagram three, line five is yang and line one is yang. Furthermore, they are both rulers of their respective trigrams, as such there is likely to be contention among them. If the second line is also changing, this yin line may be the woman they are contending over, depending on the question. In the case of the second and fourth line changing, we see a conflict in the meaning of the lines. One says we should wait, the other says we should act but we lack sufficient power. For a straightforward answer to a specific question, according to the rules Alfred Huang delineates in his book, the second line would be most specific and we would look to that line for an answer. However, if we want, or need more information, we would notice that these two lines are both yin, they do not follow the law of correspondence, and they are not neighboring lines. Therefore, they do not have a relationship. They are not related, and therefore there is a possibility for contention, or for isolation. However, both lines have some similarity. In line four the idea is for the lady to wait until she is courted, and the second line carries the idea of waiting until one is sure the conditions are right. In both cases it is said, "Horse and wagon part." As such in a reading, it could be emphasized that the situation is still full of difficulties, and that actions must be done very carefully if at all. If a yang line is also changing, one possibility, among several, would be that the two yin lines are both interested in the same man and that this is causing a situation where neither one of them can advance. By taking the law of correspondence into account, one can often get more information than just reading the lines individually. This is a never ending process of learning, and the course could not be completed in ten thousand lifetimes. The I Ching is very multidimensional, and contains all possibilities. To me at least, that is what makes it so much fun.

Gene

 

[mythili]

Gene - Didnt mean to ignore this, but since its a lot to read and digest, I thought I'd do it over the weekend - will get back to you then.
Cheers.

 

[gene]

The next hexagram with the fifth line yang and second yin, is hexagram eight. In the commentary it says, “The waters of the ocean flow together where ever they can.” In other words, relationships are a natural part of life and they are formed spontaneously, and by choice. It is natural for people to want to develop relationships. Hexagram eight discusses relationships that are voluntarily formed. Hexagram eight also talks about the strong personality in the fifth place that finds in the others the complement of his own nature. In other words, yin is the natural complement of yang and vice versa. These two powers have opposite qualities, but put together they form a comprehensive whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. It is only natural that these two elements would want to form relationships, and in hexagram eight we have a hint of how these relationships form.

Line two says, “Hold to him inwardly.” In other words, the relationship must be based on an inner desire and willingness to lead and allow the other partner to lead in a natural way. In other words, one must allow the relationship to form without any undue designs on the relationship and without trying to push oneself on a partner. In hexagram thirteen line two, (which also has the second line yin and fifth yang) this idea is carried even further by saying there should never been any factionalism, hidden motives, or possessiveness attached to the relationship. In hexagram eight line five the same motif pursues. One allows those who do not voluntarily follow his lead to go their own way. They are neither despised nor grieved over. They go where they belong, and the ones who belong with the fifth line find their way to him or her naturally and without artifice.

Hexagram 45 is another one where the second and fifth lines are yin and yang respectively. In this hexagram line two in the commentary it is said, “There are secret forces at work, bringing those together who belong together.” Always in life, this principle applies, it is a sure and steadfast principle, as sure as the law of gravity, and it is always in operation. All lines, in their spiritual essence, apply to every person, all the time. (See hexagram 61 for a similar theme.)

Is it clear how the meaning of hexagram eight line one relates to the prototype yin hexagram two? Line two in hexagram two gives us a hint of how the yin line should behave itself in all situations. It must not take action of its own but allow all things to take care of themselves. In line two of hexagram three, this is also hinted at when the woman does not immediately respond, but waits for the situation to clarify itself. In hexagram eight the yin line simply holds to the fifth line truthfully trusting in the nature of a positive fifth line to do what is right, and take the right attitude toward the yin energy. In hexagram thirteen line two the same principle applies. It is said that there should be no factionalism or no cliquishness in the forming of relationships. Everything must be above board. Each of us, male and female must come to know our own selves and be sure there are no hidden motives within in order to have a proper relationship and to make it work.

Gene

 

[gene]

I heard a story today that there has been recently a scientific experiment in which it photons were fired at a wall at an interval of one every 1000th of a second. Ideally, the photons hitting the wall, having travelled at the speed of light would hit the wall also every 1000th of a second. But they did not. The photons actually clustered together, and hit the wall at the same time. Isn’t it ironic that photons form relationships just as humans would? Without getting too far off track here, hopefully, I want to share that I personally do not believe light has speed. Oh yes, I understand that we can measure it, just as we can the speed of an automobile, etc. but... when an astronaut in an ultimately fast flying space ship would find time slows down as he or she approaches the speed of light. But does time slow down? Or is there another mechanism at work. But the fact that the proton waits for the other photons, and forms a relationship with them, is very strong evidence that the photon has consciousness. This relates very closely to something I have been saying all along. We all belong to this same consciousness. The photon is light, and if you accept the premise that God is light, then the photon is God. I will just throw that out there for everyone to do with as they please.

At any rate, hexagram eight tells us something about the forming of relationships. In order to develop a relationship we have to have a strong line, (yang) and a yielding line, (yin) If both partners are strong we have conflict, if both partners are yielding we have no direction. It takes two lines which complement each other to properly relate to one another. If you don’t have this the energies cannot be harmonized and there will be conflict within the relationship. The strong line In the fifth place is the attractive force which draws the other yin lines to it. Yet the fifth line uses no coercion in forming relationships. He allows them to happen. It usually does not work for a man to chase after a woman. It makes him appear to have lack of confidence. Whether he does or not really has little meaning. It is the appearance that counts. Yet he must be the attractive force. How does he do this? He does it not by chasing after the woman but by being a leader in his chosen field of activity, then those who are naturally drawn to him will “hold to him inwardly,” as it says in line two. The sixth line does not follow the fifth, but goes its own way, and the fifth line allows it without any disappointment or regret. He knows there is someone out there for him, (the fifth line which is the natural mate.)

Once relationships are formed, it is hard to break them or break into them. It can be done, and hexagram forty five line three gives some hints as to how to do this. But it requires the gaining of confidence and trust before this can be done. It is said in the commentary, those who come too late meet with misfortune, for they find the relationship locked.

The commentary also says that there must be a rallying point to create the formation of a relationship. There must be some purpose in it. Groups often come together for the sake of mutual protection, for working together to build a community, for any number of such purposes. Couples come together to form families, to have a partner in the midst of the greater community, someone they can be with when the rest of the community is locked out. They come together for mutual support, and tenderness. There are a number of reasons but there is always a rallying point. In attempting a relationship it is often important to be sure that there is a rallying point is of mutual benefit, and mutually understood. Is there a real influence to be felt and to respond to? (See hexagram 61).

More later

Gene

 

[gene]

After hexagram eight, the next hexagram with a second line yin and a fifth line yang is hexagram thirteen. Both hexagrams eight and thirteen are in their entirety more about social relationships than personal ones, but the same rules apply for personal relationships. The commentary for hexagram thirteen says, “True fellowship among men must be based upon a concern that is universal. It is not the private concerns of the individual that create lasting fellowship among men, but rather the goals of humanity.” In the same way on the personal level, it is not the private concerns of one individual that create a lasting relationship, but the common goal of the union itself. The idea of creating a relationship is to have a family, have children, etc., etc., etc., and to have protection from the outside world. This hexagram however, gives us a view of the things that create friction with others and how to overcome it.

Line one tells us that at first “no divergent aims have yet arisen, and one makes no mistakes.” As long as there are no divergent aims, society, and relationships work well. For a relationship to work there must be unity of purpose. Once there is a division between two people or a group of people that relationship becomes tenuous, and more so as the aims diverge more. Often in relationships two people over time grow apart, as their lives take them in different directions. Line one indicates a time before this happens, and the related people must take action to guard against this growing apart, if they want the relationship to continue. When we receive this line we must take note of our motives and that of our partners.

Line two in hexagram thirteen at first glance appears a little odd. It appears somewhat negative, but here as so often it is only giving advice. Here the line says, “Fellowship with men in the clan. Humiliation.” This hexagram counsels men and women to be careful in their relationship with each other to make sure they are engaging the right motives for being in the relationship. When we get this line alone we may be looking at a case where the relationship is not built on the proper principles. There is a certain similarity here with line three of hexagram eight. However, in hexagram eight the case is that the person is associating with the wrong people. Here the person is associating with those in their own sphere, but they associate with others only because they are there, and there is not true inner affinity within them.

Lines three and four give us some clues as to why, but more on this later.

Gene

 

[gene]

While line one of hexagram eight has no relationship by the law of correspondence with the fifth line, it is in the beginning point of the meaning of the hexagram. Therefore, although he or she does not have a relationship with the fourth or second line, it can slowly, over time, develop one nevertheless, because the first yin line of any hexagram depicts a situation in its incipient stages, and hexagram eight is about forming relationships. (See hexagram two line one. Hexagram two is the prototype for all the yin lines that follow.) In order to have this relationship, line one must show a great deal of loyalty to the center of the group, or the fifth line of the hexagram. The commentary states that “Fundamental sincerity is the only proper basis for forming relationships.” When a relationship forms built on sincerity the relationship tends to last. It has a power that is not easily broken.

In the same way, when the second and fifth lines change in hexagram eight, a power is created by the collective force of the members of the relationship. When these two lines change we have hexagram seven which speaks of collective force. The commentary on line two of hexagram seven says, “There is no question of personal preference here.” Indeed, when we have a relation that is built of truth and sincerity, there is no question of the preference of such a condition. The fifth line says, “There is game in the field. When we are in a relationship we have a quality that is greater than the sum of its parts and we have opportunities that do not present themselves otherwise. With line two and five of this hexagram changing, there is definitely the possibility for a relationship as line five says “There is game in the field, and line two says he is preferred.

Before a relationship forms, the strong line is above, as in hexagram eight, after it forms, the strong line is below, as in hexagram seven. In order to maintain a relationship, the strong line must place itself below, and support the yin line. While a yin line is correct in the second line and a yang line in the fifth, nevertheless in neighboring lines the yang line is correct below the yin line. In doing readings regarding the possibilities of relationships it is often important to keep these rules in mind.

If for example, in hexagram 8, we receive line 3, it tells us that we are associating with the wrong people. The line is such because the third line has a proper correlate with the sixth line but they are both yin. The only yang line is in the fifth place and the third line does not have any correlation with the fifth. The line is not central, not correct, and has no correspondence in the upper trigram nor with his or her neighbors. Therefore there is no one for him or her to have a relationship with. The fourth line does not have a proper correlation with the first line, but it is a neighbor to the fifth, therefore there is some possibility of having a relationship. The commentary in book three of the W/B’s version of the I Ching says, “May safely show his attachment.” Therefore, it is safe with this line to express feelings, which is usually not a good idea early on in a relationship.

Gene

 

[gene]

In hexagram thirteen a curious phenomena is detailed, that of the tendency of the human race to see in others their own follies. Line three says, “He hides weapons in the thicket: He climbs the high hill in front of it. For three years he does not rise up.” The commentary says, “Each man distrusts the other, plans a secret ambush, and seeks to spy on his opponent from afar.” While the first two lines speak of the danger of factionalism, and hidden motive, in line two the result of the hidden motive is revealed. We create a state of tension between ourselves and our partners through distrust that ultimately stems from our own inner consciousness. When we have ulterior motives, it is incontrovertible that we are going to see the same in others. At that point we tend to engage in distrust because we project our own motives out onto others. This happens not only in personal relationships but even in relationships between countries, and often culminates in open or secret warfare. Whenever we suspect something in our partner we must first look at our own psychological makeup and find the same problem within ourselves. It is also often best to overlook small things, as long as major problems do not present themselves, or as long as the small things do not become big.

As far as the lines go the same principle applies here in that the yang line in the third has no correlate in the sixth. They are both yang, and therefore the possibility of conflict exists. The fourth line as well finds no correlate in the first, but here, he cannot attack. Under the principles of the operation of the lines in the I Ching, the fourth line has crossed into the upper hexagram, and sees things from a more heavenly point of view. Here he comes to his senses. He at least realizes that an attack would be counterproductive, maybe even foolish, maybe even not necessary. In line three of hexagram three it is said, “Whoever hunts deer without the forester only loses his way in the forest.” We are lost when we project our own images of reality onto the nature of others, in fact, since we are all one, we actually create a situation where we have a neighbor who is antagonistic to us. Inwardly our neighbor recognizes our own confusion and distrust and reacts accordingly. We do the same.

Take a look at line four in hexagram one, the lines of which are prototypes for all the corresponding yang lines in all the hexagrams. It says, “Wavering flight over the depths.” The commentary says, a place of transition has been reached…” Once we begin to see the problem within ourselves we change our ways and our outer world changes with it. When we understand the real meaning of the kingdom of heaven, we, as the fourth line, enter that kingdom. The commentary says, “He can soar to the heights… or he can withdraw into solitude…” Thus the fourth line gives us a choice as to which way to go, and in hexagram thirteen the individual chooses to let go of his or her fears and angers and soar to the heights.

 

[gene]

Apparently I missed hexagram twelve in my list of hexagrams with a second line yin and fifth line yang, but I will get back to that. First let’s take a look at line five of hexagram thirteen. The line says, “After great struggles they succeed in meeting.” This hints at the struggle began in hexagram three. In hexagram three we are confused and are searching for a way back to our primary source, which is union with our other half, our soul mate, and also, our search for our spiritual side, and oneness with the universe. The commentary says, “Two people are outwardly separated, but in their hearts they are united.” In our hearts we all long to be united with our soul mate, but outwardly, we are separated by the necessities of life and external considerations. In hexagram three and thirteen we do not necessarily know who our true soul mate is, especially and more so in hexagram three, and as the third line of three says, “…loses his way in the forest.” External life can be very confusing, and there are many roadblocks in the way of finding the one whom we really belong with.
The outer world is geared for creating havoc in our search for both our other half and our inner half, the subconscious mind. It is that way purposely for reasons beyond the scope of this work. Outwardly we are separated, but inwardly we are one with everything. We do not realize it because the conscious mind tends to overrule the subconscious.

Let it be said right here that those who are looking for their soul mates will not find them until they are fully integrated within themselves. You may even be living or married to your soul mate but will not recognize the person as such as long as you are not integrated within yourself. The same can be said of your partner. The reason we do not recognize a soul mate even when we find them is delineated in line four of hexagram thirteen. We see in other people a reflection of ourselves. So often we try to change our partner, but do not realize that the only real way to change them is to change ourselves. When we change, they automatically change because our perception has changed. This is something that is sorely missed in modern society. We do not recognize, indeed refuse to recognize, that the answer lies within ourselves, and that how we perceive our partner creates the characteristics of our partner. This will never change, but we must be willing to take our blinders off and recognize the truth. Only then can life take on new meaning to us. Only then will we “climb the high wall” where we can get a better view of the reality of the situation. Only then will we truly recognize our soul mate. If we are not truly married to ourselves we can never truly be married to anyone else. We must be willing to chop off the blocks of negativity within ourselves that can only be revealed by a partner opposite of ourselves. Nothing else will work. And if instead of doing the work, we refuse to recognize our own weaknesses, we will not have any success in a relationship, not even to our soul mate. Hexagram twenty also hints at this high wall, being a mountain, which until we climb the mountain, and see from a higher point of view, all of our striving is useless, because we will be like the hunter without the forester.

One final note about hexagram thirteen. When we integrate ourselves, when we find our place in society, when we find the one who belongs to us, we realize “Possession in Great Measure.” (Hexagram fourteen.) This is the result of the second and fifth line changing in thirteen. Integrating ourselves, finding our soul mate, finding our place in society is very fortuitous indeed. We must strive for integration.

 

[gene]

Hexagram twelve is very esoteric in a sense and does not directly speak of relationships. That is because the emphasis of the hexagram, with hexagram eleven, is largely on the natural cycles of life and the universe. There is another indicator, however, as to how well a hexagram relates to relationships. This is done by analyzing the trigrams of a hexagram. In hexagram twelve we have the trigram relating to the mother in the lower half, and the trigram relating to the father in the upper half. These two trigrams would relate more to the past or to a long term situation than a relationship. Nevertheless, you do have one male and one female trigram in the hexagram. Of course, there are not only the primary trigrams but the nuclear trigrams also. In hexagram twelve the upper nuclear trigram is the eldest daughter and the lower trigram is the youngest son. Here we have a combination that is more conducive to a relationship.

The hexagram as a whole shows a period of stagnation, or of inactivity. However, the nature of the hexagram is to show that things naturally turn better over time. Therefore, the lines are not necessarily negative. As usual, this is especially true of the second and fifth line, and especially when the second is yin and the fifth is yang. The second line says, “They bear and endure.” In some cases within a relationship, there are going to be times when it seems that nothing is happening, and it is not going anywhere. If it truly is a valid relationship, this is a temporary thing. Sometimes we have to wait things out. It is never wise in a relationship to try to force anything. Things happen in their own time. We must be aware of natural cycles and accept them. The fifth line says, “Standstill is giving way.” The commentary says, “The time undergoes a change.” If we are willing to wait the time out, without trying to force the issue, we find that things work out for the best.

Two further notes about hexagram twelve. First, it is important that we do not take our partner for granted. This applies at all times. That must be at all times a great appreciation for the one who chooses to be with us. The second note is that the relationship must be at arm’s length. In other words, it must be among two equals. Two who are worthy of each other. If not, then there is a relationship based on one doting on the other and constantly fearing the loss of love.

Gene

 

[gene]

In hexagram twelve the second and fifth line interact in such a way that sometimes it is necessary within a relationship to “bear and endure” some of the things that we are not totally pleased with. At the same time, it is necessary to decide whether the situation is something we can endure. If not, the possibly the relationship was not meant to be. At the same time, the person in the fifth line has the responsibility of sensing the status of the relationship and doing what he or she must do to maintain positivity in that relationship. One should always be attentive, making sure that things are going as well as possible. Here, as mentioned previously, it is very necessary to not take a partner for granted or ignore that partner any more than necessary. It is important to be aware of what works and what doesn’t in that relationship.

Often, this advice is ignored. When it is ignored the situation becomes more and more untenable until one partner starts taking extreme measures to convince their partner there is a problem. If we take up the problem, try to do something about it, we might find, as line one says, “When ribbon grass is pulled up, the sod comes with it.” Often that which appears to be the problem is not the real problem. And when we solve one problem, we come to realize there is really a deeper problem yet. We pull the weeds out and find there is a deeper level of weeds. In attempting to save a relationship, often the problem that is expressed is not the real or the deepest problem. Even the person feeling hurt may be unaware of the things that are really causing the problem. Therefore, the fifth line tries to solve the problem.

Of course, when we realize that we have been remiss in properly maintaining a relationship, when we realize we have not been truly attentive to our partner, it can be that, as the third line says, “They bear shame.” Human nature being what it is though, we have to always put on a good face and not show our shame. It would be humiliating to do so. In such a case the best thing to do is have a sensitivity great enough to recognize what our partner is truly feeling without trying to force it out of him or her. Forcing things never works in a relationship. It is only when we can recognize the truth, and at the same time allow our partner some human dignity that the shame gradually turns into a change for the better and an improvement in a relationship. This only works however, in a committed relationship. It will not work when one partner is simply playing games with the other. There has to be a true caring on the part of both partners.

Gene

 

[rodaki]

hi Gene,

I wanted to thank you for this thread, I've been reading it with great interest

 

[gene]

Thanks Rodaki

More coming.

Gene

 

[gene]

Hexagram twelve line four says, “He who acts at the command of the highest remains without blame.” Most of the time it is the better way to save a relationship if that relationship has meaning. Sometimes it is not, and a relationship is destined to tear apart. In such times we must make our mourning short and get back to natural conditions as soon as possible, at least if mourning is of the natural order here. (See hexagram forty.) But if the relationship has meaning it is paramount to save it. This cannot be done through egotistical attempts at control or coercion. It cannot be done permanently by manipulation or deception. It must be based on something that is real. In other words, one must act at the command of the highest, in the true light of the higher nature. All else will fail. Only the right person, free of egoistic designs and desires, who sees a higher calling for the relationship, can act properly. The calling must call from the heart. It cannot come from egoistic designs or desires. The command of the highest is the suggestion by our own inner selves. If we are in touch with our inner or higher self, we have a chance of making the relationship work. If not, the period of stagnation does not end, and the relationship tears apart.

When the second and fifth line change the relating hexagram is hexagram sixty four. Sixty four shows a time period when things have not yet come together, but just as in twelve there is a very good prospect of the task being completed. The two hexagrams have a similar theme, that of a period of stagnation turning into hope and joy. The commentary in the image says, “But in order to handle external forces properly, we must above all arrive at the right standpoint ourselves. In other words, one must act at the command of the highest. We must examine ourselves, and our motives before we can put the world, or relationships, in order. There is no other way. We have to be the right person in the right state of mind to accomplish anything. Any relationship that is born of selfish desire cannot in the long run prosper. In life only that which is built on correct principle can flourish long term. Conditions may be satisfied temporarily through subtle coercion or manipulation, but in the end, such an empire will fail. Can we really be sure that we have no manipulative tendencies? Or that we do not use a subtle form of coercion to get our way? Most people do not know themselves as well as they think they do. Line five of hexagram sixty four says, “The light of the superior man is true.” Do we shine our true light? Are we really mature? Do we work on ourselves, or do we attempt to get our partner to change when the partner has not been through difficult circumstances enough to know there is a need for change? Change can usually only come through harsh life circumstances which is the only real teacher. The only thing we really can master or change is ourselves. And when we do, as line six in hexagram twelve says, “The standstill comes to an end.”

Gene

 

[gene]

There is more on hexagram twelve regarding multiple lines changing, but the file is missing. As soon as I get it back I will finish up on hexagram twelve. In the meantime, I am going to hexagram thirty eight which doesn't fit the criterion I have been presenting, but it is interesting.

I’m going to jump to something a little different now, but it has its place. Hexagram thirty eight is just too interesting to pass up. Hexagram thirty eight does not have the combination of a yin second line and a yang fifth line. Furthermore, the two trigrams are two sisters, but it still has potential for learning about relationships. (It does however, have a yang second, and a yin fifth.)Through estrangement, we can learn about ourselves as well as our partner. But even before we talk about hexagram thirty eight, let’s look at hexagram two just really quickly. The commentary in hexagram two says, “It is the perfect complement of the creative, not its opposite, for the Receptive does not combat the Creative but completes it. “ Two males or two females, at their choice, can initiate and develop a loving relationship, one in which they are quite happy, but it is impossible to create a family, or to integrate the energies of yin and yang between each other. In all levels of life it is incumbent upon all people to integrate their internal energies primarily, and secondarily, if possible, to integrate with a partner of the opposite sex. The union of yin and yang creates a harmony beyond that of the sum of the two parts. Hexagram thirty eight points to a situation where two sisters are in proximity, but their wills are different. Since the second and fifth lines correspond with each other, there is the possibility of reconciliation and moving together.

The commentary on hexagram thirty eight says, “When two people live in opposition and estrangement they cannot carry out a great undertaking in common.” In any relationship of any meaningful kind, there must be at least some commonality of interests and goals. Otherwise the train derails. As much as possible in a relationship there must be an integration of efforts to reach a common goal. If not, little if anything gets accomplished, and the environment becomes disharmonious. If there is a common goal it is much easier to reach that goal than two unrelated people trying for the same goal. It increases the energies in multiples and makes desires much easier to be realized. If we want a relationship to last we must make the requisite efforts. There must be a willingness to understand our partner, and as hexagram sixty one says, “One must first rid oneself of all prejudice and, so to speak, let the psyche of the other person act on one without restraint.” In order to have harmony, we must have understanding. It is necessary to hear, not just what our partner says, but our partner’s reason for saying it.

Gene

 

[gene]

When multiple lines are changing in hexagram twelve the reading becomes more problematic. If the second and fifth are changing, and the first or third as well, there once again is the possibility of a triangular relationship. When the first line changes with the second and fifth, it is possible, depending on the question, that the reader needs to know about a situation. Here one pulls up the grass and finds the sod. In other words, one finds out something not previously known. One might be looking for one problem and finds something else even deeper, or instead of the original belief. When the third line changes, someone may be acting shamefully or in a manner that is surreptitious. There is the possibility that someone else is involved in the situation without the reader knowing about it. The situation may be shameful in some way. When the fourth or sixth line changes, with the second and fifth, there may be a competition among men, (or in some cases women, depending on the nature of the question,) for the affections of the woman. On the other hand there could be someone involved with the couple that can help in some way to give advice, to act “at the command of the highest” to give some kind of advice or support to the couple. In some ways, this is true of the first line also in the sense that a third party could help one discover the root of the problem.

Gene

 

[gene]

In hexagram thirty eight, various levels of estrangement are delineated, and each line gives us a reason why we are estranged from others. In this way it has an affinity with lines three and four of hexagram thirteen. In the first line we tend to be “clinging vine,” and do not give our partners breathing space. Since the second line is central, and corresponds with the fifth, this line gives us a chance to reconcile. There has been a misunderstanding however. In the third line we have a mental attitude that everything is against us. If this attitude roots deep enough within us, our outer world will reflect this type of reality. In line four there are issues of trust. We cannot trust others if deep down inside we do not trust ourselves. We must find that trust within, then it will show itself in the outer world. The fifth line is central and has a relationship with the second line, therefore can overcome these delusions within him or herself. The sixth line shows something that is very typical of human nature, to see only the evil in someone and never see the good. When we see only the evil, then for us personally that person becomes evil. If we see only the good, then for us personally, that person becomes good. The sixth line becomes defensive. The sixth line may even put up defenses against a potential relationship out of fear. It is fear that destroys everything. It is love that conquers everything. When we love we do not fear loss of love. Nor do we fear a bad nature in our partner, but see it all as part of a loving divine plan within nature itself.

Gene

 

[gene]

One thing inherent in hexagram sixty three is a depiction of the contrast between unity and polarization. But in fact, ultimately, there is no contrast. We contrast the sun and the moon, the sun and the stars, the water and the earth. And yet ultimately they are all one.

So too, in relationships there must be a contrast within unity. Within unity there is still individuality. How can this be so? Know that within all polarities, all opposites, there is a unified whole. Thus, in a relationship we must seek for unity. (See hexagram eight.) Without unity a relationship cannot last. No person can serve two masters. It does not work. A train cannot run on two sets of tracks at the same time. It will derail, as will a relationship if the partners go two separate ways or have two different sets of values that they must follow. There must be unity. Yet how can we be united and yet still maintain our own individuality? This is the conundrum that the hexagram sets us within and lets us seek a way out. But it does give a hint. It is said that while we comingle, we also maintain our own individuality. It seems as such a polar opposite. But the I Ching, from start to finish tells us of polar opposites that are really the complement of each other. Thus true yin is the complement to true yang and vice versa, yet while together they create a whole greater than the sum of its parts, each still retains its own separate identity. We must be both true to the relationship and true to ourselves at one and the same time. The hexagram tells us of some of the pitfalls that await us if we do not follow its advice.

One of the first principles that each of us must comprehend is that all opposition, all estrangement, all problems in relationships first starts within ourselves. Each of us is a mirror image of our partner. When we have a problem with a partner we have a problem with a part of ourselves that has never been integrated into the overall personality. Our partner merely reflects the opposition within ourselves. For this reason it is essential that each of us look within ourselves for that part of ourselves that is creating a conflict without because that which happens without is a mirror image of a problem within.

The problem in line one is based primarily in fear. We fear our partner will leave us so we hold on tighter, and find that the tighter we hold on, our partner, like water, slips right through our hands. Fear is the result of believing that everything happens outside ourselves, therefore the only way to be safe is through control. Yet control only leads to rejection. And this is especially true when both partners are looking for control as a means of securing a relationship. And all men and all women just about, are guilty of this. We project it out onto our partner. We see their control issues; we do not see our own. But they are there. This is a natural result of the natural man as we are all controlled by the ego which, out of fear due to believing itself as separate, must control everything.

More on this later.

Gene

 

[gene]

On one level hexagram thirty eight is about misunderstandings and how to overcome them. We saw a major reason of why misunderstandings exist in hexagram thirteen. We tend to project our own foibles onto other people. We have certain complexities we do not want to deal with and we project the same complexities out onto other people. For this reason, when we have conflicts with others, it is a symptom of a conflict within ourselves. Everything that applies to conflict with our neighbors, as delineated in hexagram six, applies within the heart of each individual. Therefore the only way out of a conflict within ourselves is to appeal to our higher self, as described in line five of hexagram six. Line two of hexagram thirty eight relates to this message. When we have misunderstandings we become isolated from at least the person we have a relationship with and in some cases isolated from society as a whole. If the misunderstanding is deep enough, there is not a lot we can do about it under normal circumstances. Especially among men and women, all too often the only way to deal with it is to leave the other person alone. Especially if a man is trying to reconcile with a woman. To attempt to reconcile requires further contact, but it the conflict has gone too far, further contact will only aggravate the problem. But ultimately, all conflicts between well meaning people are the results of misunderstandings. Line two says we cannot attempt any reconciliation on our own. It follows on the heals of line one where followup is met with a further aggravation of the problem. The meaning of line two though only applies when there is an inner affinity of some kind between two people or groups of people. Only when there is an inner affinity between people is there any hope of reconciliation, at least as far as furthering any kind of relationship goes. The line tells us not to attempt this on our own. We must allow natural process to take place. It is a followup of the conditions of line one. When we try we realize a reconciiation by force, or by continual talking, or by subtle means, we only receive the opposite effect of what we intended. We cannot do it on our own. We must have help from the universe, and we must allow things to follow a plan that the universe has prepared, and allow for an accidental meeting to occur. Women are attracted to men who have self confidence. But it is important not to mistake a form of arrogance for confidence, and true confidence allows for the workings of the universe without egoistic interference. It is a matter of waiting quietly in the wings without anxiety or concern. One must allow the other person to be their own self and come to you at the appropriate time. Anger, mismanagement, of frustration will not lead to a true reconciliation. Only the universe can do that.

Gene