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Seeing a specific hexagram in a dream. Meaning?

imitosis

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Hello everybody,I've just experienced different thing last night in my dream. I've been consulting Yi for a year. To give a flashback story: I had a first love when I was 10 and we have never seen each other almost 10 years. Then I met him on a street about 4-5 months ago and it wasn't a small talk, rather it turned to some kind of emotional thing again as sudden. However, he has many serious problems like drug addiction, family trauma, and depression. He has a huge fear of intimacy since his father committed suicide and died last year. So our relationship was not stable because he has not stable personality and deep unconscious issues with himself. I had a very big urge to help him, being with him because I felt that he has help cry. But he didn't want to create an emotional with me although he acted like as if he needs it. It hurts me also because I like him so I said him I'm out if nothing is certain between us. Our relationship was always uncertain because of his fears. He is kind of a person who chooses not to believe hoping nothing or having a dream, target etc. He is all aware of his negative thoughts but he accepts that he is coward to establish anything valuable or meaningful.So that, our communication has stopped about 3 weeks. I left the door open while I was leaving. Because I really want to help him and being with him.Then, last night I had a dream. There he was, wanting me to help analyze a specific hexagram from Yi: 18.1>26.Btw, he doesn't know anything about Yi in his real life and we never talked about it. But in my dream, he asked a question ( I didn't remember specifically but it was about his personal issue)I was so surprised when I woke up and read the hexagram and line because it's about the dead father and a son. But I couldn't analyze it what is meaning of it? It's a sign from the universe or just about my unconscious? If it's a sign, how should I interpret it?PS: I really don't know about this line 18.1 in real life, I've just the general idea of hexagram 18. So it makes me think that it was not the thing of my subconscious. Thank you :)
 
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diamanda

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Hi imitosis,

I had a dream. There he was, wanting me to help analyze a specific hexagram 18.1 > 26

Maybe it's a sign, maybe it's not, who knows. It looks like it was indeed a sign.
You say: He has a huge fear of intimacy since his father committed suicide
The line says: If there's a son, there's no blame on the father

So no matter what his father did, he's an adult and he can't use his father as an excuse.

In severe cases like this, when the other person is a drug addict and they also tell you they don't want a relationship, it's best not to cast the I Ching. It's best to just look for someone else.
 

rosada

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18.1 points out that although the "father" may have left the son with a problem, the son can go forward in such a way so it almost seems the problem never existed. I think of the expressions "It ain't over till it's over" and "Everything works out okay in the end - if it's not okay, it's not the end." So I see the message for you here as being that the relationship with your friend is not over or at least not to give up on your friend. 18.1 does indeed emphasize the importance of the son not wallowing in thoughts that because of the father's "corruption" the son is now doomed to a life of misery and addiction, but changing to 26. suggests the way forward is not to cut a person off but to share stories and one's own experiences. Also, the additional lines of 18 show how healing a problem is to be accomplished - mainly by not denying it as in 18.2 or being harsh as in 18.3, or simply living with it as in 18.4 but by accentuating the positive as in 18.5 and finally by not dwelling on it once it is solved but by moving on as in 18.6.
 

imitosis

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Thank you diamanda,As you said, I believe 18.1 says to me everything will be okay for him and he will be able to correct the father's corruption. But I'm also choosing to believe not give up on him. I can't expect things on emotional level from him but I might be help him as a friend. Because i believe it means something seeing this dream and it's also a kind of message to me. Thank you for your interpretation.
 

imitosis

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Thank you posada, your explanations are very helpful to clarify my dream. I also love the idea of the expression of "Everything works out okay in the end - if it's not okay, it's not the end." I believe it was message to me as you said. So I won't give up on him and try to reach him at least as a kind friend. Because I know he needs someone like this. Having a question for you. You said "changing to 26. suggests the way forward is not to cut a person off but to share stories and one's own experiences." What do you mean saying sharing stories and one's own experiences? Thank you :)
 

rosada

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Hexagram 26 is made up of the trigram for Heaven below the trigram for Mountain above - thus heaven is within the mountain and this suggests hidden treasures, power stored, like wisdom from the past stored in libraries or in our own heads. The Image for 26 says,
"THE TAMING POWER OF THE GREAT.
Thus the superior man acquaints himself with many sayings of antiquity
And many deeds of the past,
In order to strengthen his character thereby."

The idea is that after the experiences of 25. Innocence which end with 25.6 and the realization that "Innocent actions brings misfortune [and] nothing furthers" one realizes that one isn't going to learn very efficiently stumbling about making and repeating every possible mistake on one's own, so why not learn from the mistakes of others or at least from one's own past? So 26. The Taming Power of The Great says it's a grand thing to go out in the world and cross the great water but FIRST hold back and prepare by consulting with others or at least remember what happened the last time you tried this.

Therefore in connection with 18.1 which encourages that one can pick up where the last person left off and there won't be any problem, 26 advises not boldly rushing in and saying, "The past is dead and now we're going to do everything my way!" rather the attitude should be one of holding back, learning something about the history of the situation and considering how others have navigated similar tests.

How this applies to your situation (if it does at all!) might mean you should be aware in your friendship that this man is coming from a background where the father left him with a lot of confusion to straighten out and therefore one mustn't expect the relationship to move forward too quickly - thus 26. Major Restraint - and furthermore that there may be useful advice to be had from those who have survived similar scenarios such as is shared in groups like Adult Children of Alcoholics.
 

imitosis

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Dear rosada,Firstly I want to thank you for your time to explain the hexagrams. It was very helpful for me. Now I can understand his sitution better. Last but not least, I will have one last question that will be very efficient for me to figure out; Should I let him go until he understands his situation and work on it by believing that he will come back to me after he is cured as I feel that I have an important role in his life because of the dream and our encounter 10 years iater.Or should I getting contact with him again to explain that he should do something for his life? Since our connection has stopped.which one do you think represent my role in his life?
 

rosada

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I think what you should do now depends on how you left things with him and what exactly you are wanting from this relationship. It sounds to me like you remember who he was as a child before all the blows of life crushed his spirit and certainly having a friend who sees the best in you can be a very fine thing. On the other hand, if he is not interested in working on himself there really isn't much you can do. You say you "left the door open" but I'm not clear what that meant. Are you saying you left the door open for him to contact you just for conversation and friendship or only for love and commitment? If you feel now that perhaps you were too brutal in requiring that he be "cured" before contacting you and that you aren't requiring him to commit to a relationship but simply want to stay in touch as friends - and furthermore that you realize now you're going to continue to think about this guy if you don't reconnect at least to know each other better - then I think it wouldn't hurt to reach out. You could call and say, "Hey I had a dream about you the other night and thought I'd check in and see how you're doing." Couldn't hurt... On the other hand, if you are thinking this dream and the co-incidence of your connecting again after all these years is a sign you should be together as a couple and further more that somehow you can "heal" him then I think you should reconsider. He's got serious issues and most likely needs more help than you have resources. If the fact that you met again after all these years "means" anything I would interpret it as a sign his soul is looking for help now - but it doesn't indicate that he is open to more than just a friendly nod from you nor does it indicate that anything more is "meant" to come of this. Indeed, I have this theory that there are angels whose job it is to bring lovers together but..once the two meet the angels do a High Five! and split and you and the partner are left to figure out what - if anything - to do next on your own.
So should you contact him again? No, if you are thinking you can heal him and turn him into a romantic partner but yes if you think you were unkind and want to clarify where you're at and if you are comfortable with just hanging out together as friends. Perhaps he would be interested in the I Ching! I also think that you should consider that as you are so intrigued by the omens around your friendship - the meeting and the dream - that you might have a hard time just letting this go if you abruptly close the door and walk away. It might be better for you to talk again so you can really get clear as to what the attraction is - and why it might or might not work.
Best of luck!
 

imitosis

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Dear Rosada,After I read your reply, I thought that I was unkind for him because I actually left the door open for only love and commitment. It wasn't that I didn't care about his friendship - because actually I did - rather his behaviors were so confusing for me since I've some emotional feelings for him. And we did actually having a conversation about it - before our communication has stopped - and he said to me he cares me but he's problems with the emotional relationships ( he did have a few relationships before but he couldn't achieve establishing a deep loving bond between his partners so he thinks those kind of relationships were not appropriate for him) so he honestly said to me if we would try something like a relationship, he thinks he would behave pretending as a partner rather than getting into the love. So he said to me he doesn't want to hurt me as if behaving an emotional partner in our relationship, (he's also issues with not just emotional bonds but also sexual feelings, so he's not kind of a person who doesn't want to relationships but hooking up other people) because he doesn't think that the concept of 'relationship' is not more than faking it even if the both agents couldn't recognize they're faking. He also thinks the concept of 'love' is not more than some hormones in human brain. Since he knows me that I'm believing the real bonds between people and love with a more spiritual understanding - because we had talked about these subjects several times-, he said he's respecting my beliefs but he couldn't believe like this. Therefore, we actually did manage to negotiate that we could hurt each other if we are in a relationship. It was okay for me, but I had still a feeling that our bond between us has not finished. Then, one day we met in a street after 3 weeks from that conversation, he came to me and behaved more than a friend - he was actually a lit bit drunk, behaving as if he wanted trying to tell me something and hugging me. So I was pissed off after his behavior, because it was so confusing for me. It made me think that what does he want from me? He tells me that he doesn't believe the love or emotional relationships are real but he behaves as if he wants it whenever he's with me. All these things made me unkind for him in our last conversation. However, I was continue to thinking about him because somethings doesn't feel right. Then I had this dream, and you know... I can think better now -thanks for your helping, it was so enlightening for me - that his soul is looking for help now and I couldn't heal him just by myself. But I might be there for him as a friend - not expecting more than it now, because I feel that he needs a person who is hopeful, loving and might give him a silver lining in order to make him realize that life mustn't be always sucks and we're alone in this universe rather it actually worth to live and people are not always leave.So, I've reconnected to him just before by saying ' I had a dream about you and I don't want to lose our friendship. Before I acted like destructive but I prefer to be constructive instead now'. I hope it will works out and re-establish the bridge between us. Lastly, you said 'I have this theory that there are angels whose job it is to bring lovers together but..once the two meet the angels do a High Five! and split and you and the partner are left to figure out what - if anything - to do next on your own.' It sounds very interesting. What do you mean exactly?Thank you very much, really.
 

rosada

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Hello and thanks for the feed back. By saying I think there are angels who bring us together but then once we are together with a partner the angels then fly off, I mean that while it can seem very magical when we first meet the feeling doesn't always last or we don't seem to get guidance as to what - if anything - we're supposed to do next. There is an expression, "Marriages may be made in heaven - but we have to live them here on earth" meaning the ideal is wonderful but the day to day reality not so much so. Thus I say that while you had various positive omens around this fellow you don't need to feel you're somehow meant to have a deeper commitment. Anyway, I'm glad your getting some clarity about this. Following hunches and omens is good now and then but Life is really about learning how to make conscious choices.
 

mpaskinsky

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Wow, that is really brave of you to talk about personal things. I have had one bizarre dream that I could talk over only with somebody who can give a professional opinion after.
 

mpaskinsky

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There is a lot to discuss over your dream. Would you care for turning to somebody for advice? You know, it's just hitting differently when you listen to a medium talking about your life, having mentioned something you really care about in your life. I have had a dream, interpretation of which I read on dream-meanings.com and after from the word go I got in touch with the author of it, Amanda. She is a totally ten out of ten, guys.
 

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