Seeking fairness and balance

[Lodestar]

Help. I seem to have found myself in another situation, this time an artistic project, where I am doing everything and not being correctly valued or really being supported in any real way by the other person who is supposed to be involved. I feel so upset by this, I really thought it would be different this time.

I was ok with going with the flow for quite a while under the assumption that the time would come for a role reversal, but now I think the time for that has passed and I seem to have suddenly hit a wall and I just want out.

Is drawing this all to a close the best thing for me?
15uc

But I am scared about not having an alternative plan - I've given so much to this! Where on earth do I go from here?
35.4-23

How best to deal with this person now?
25.6-17

How can I find a partner who will value and respect me?
29uc

Thank you for any guidance you can provide. I feel too defeated right now to try read them myself.

 

[Lodestar]

Ok I've recovered a bit, I'll have a go!

15uc - could mean yes that's the realistic thing to do. Not to send more energy towards and unreceptive direction.
Divination 'humility is the virtue that allows you to see the balancing force in each situation'
Dreamhawk 'having the power to act as a balancer in situations that have become one-sided'

35.4 emm could this refer to the other person,? ..who seems very scattered with many things going on at once.
Or could it simply be saying to carry on and finish what I've started. I've had a single focus so maybe just finish to my own satisfaction then move on.

25.6 don't act now, just do nothing for now. Let it go for now.

29uc. Emm I've been a bit 29 going through a lot of processing of old emotions. Maybe that tumultuous journey of all these feelings coming up, and finally valuing and respecting my own emotions and vulnerabilities, will start to create that for me in the outside world..

 

[ginnie]

Is drawing this all to a close the best thing for me?
15uc

Modesty or humility and being a realistic person is the correct response in every situation.

Where on earth do I go from here?
35.4-23

Yi is saying your thoughts are running around like mindless squirrels . . .

How best to deal with this person now?
25.6-17

Right now you are clueless. You'll need a change of plans of some sort. If you continue in the same way as before you will surely be thwarted.

How can I find a partner who will value and respect me?
29uc

You'll have to keep your wits about you, because there are lots of challenges to the search for a good partner.

I think Yi was mainly reflected you back to yourself. You will find more substantive answers perhaps when you have calmed down. Many people meditate before casting the I Ching to settle their minds and get clearer answers.

 

[Lodestar]

Thanks Ginnie for your reply.
Emm modesty is never my problem, being too modest gets me into trouble and attracts people who tend to feel they know better than me when they simply don't. That might be the case here, The realism might be, therefore, drawing it to a close.

I will wait and do some meditation as you suggest, and come back to the situation then. :bows:

 

[Trojina]

It's a mistake to think of 15 as modesty as in being humble. It is more like simply being authentic, true, making no more or less of yourself than you actually are. It is far more to do with acknowledgement of reality than 'modesty' in how we'd usually think of that term. Acknowledging reality in a situation is generally all one needs to be as 'modest' as one needs to be. One sees one's true role in any situation as neither more no less than it actually is...at least that is the advice in part

I'll see what I make of your answers.

Is drawing this all to a close the best thing for me?
15uc

I think this is a sign that you have a realistic view of the situation....so yes, given your perception is realistic then you do know what is best.

But I am scared about not having an alternative plan - I've given so much to this! Where on earth do I go from here?
35.4-23

You are thinking on a small scale ...like a rodent scurrying around collecting grain. This isn't wrong but it is kind of anxious and lacks perspective. This could be advise to be more open, bolder...more audacious and also more 'out there'. If you know your worth, as 15 suggests you do, then you have no need to be scared.

How best to deal with this person now?
25.6-17

25.6 can drift nowhere fast. It isn't the time to say 'oh I will see what happens and go with the flow'...that won't work. You need a plan. I suggest you base this plan on your 15. That is your true perception of this situation. Common sense. Now given what you know about this person what, in a common sense way, would be a realistic way to deal with them ?

How can I find a partner who will value and respect me?
29uc

Thank you for any guidance you can provide. I feel too defeated right now to try read them myself.

Um the only answer to that is to truly value and respect yourself. I think once you do that you will more easily recognise when others are not valuing you. Just being able to recognise when you are not being valued is a huge step forward because often we just don't know and can get caught up with those who might take advantage. Why 29uc...? Maybe this is an emotional scenario that you go through over and over again...and you get stuck in chasms of 29. The chasm is the defeat you feel.


You cannot make others give you what you want but you can sort of set a standard for yourself , a level which below you will not go ?


I think in a nutshell these answers are quite clear. You know who you are, what you can do and you have a realistic view of things (15)...be a bit more bold and open about your intentions (35.4) be clearer about your intentions with your partner (25.6) and recognise you can fall into defeatism as you have before. (29)...but you can get out too. 29 really is very often about repeated familiar emotional patterns.


It occurs to me also 15 might be asking you what is realistic here. Like can you go on without the other person ? Is it financially and practically possible ? I think that is the key to your decision. That 15uc is pragmatic...asks 'what is actually possible ?'. If you put aside small scale thinking (35.4) and have good solid plans (ie don't do 25.6) then you can progress without those scary feelings plaguing you so much (29).