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Separating myself from my husband, will I solve the economic problems? 44.3.4> 59

Fortuny1889

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I am very alarmed by this answer.

My husband cannot contain his savings and dragged me into an economically precarious situation. Unfortunately I understood after the marriage what kind of person he was, without ambitions and with a tendency to become impoverished. In the same way as his parents who have squandered all the assets in nonsense.

This problem is one of the most difficult and that led me to want to distance myself from him, because I am really afraid of ending my days in dire poverty with him. In short, to end up like his family.

Thus was born the
my question.
With divorce from
he, will I find a more peaceful and satisfying economic situation?
44.3.4 to 59

I'm upset. I can't see anything good here. The fish that is not on the 4th line makes me fear the worst.

I have a good and stable job, I feel very lucky in this. I did not ask IChing if I will become rich, serenity is enough for me. But this answer scares me.

Also the fact that hexageamma 44 comes out continuously in my readings scares me. I find it everywhere. What can you mean? Is it a warning?

Can anyone help me to read more nuances or advice, if there are any in this cast?

I will be infinitely grateful to you!
F.
 

rosada

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44.3 You've taken on a huge responsibility (marriage to a man with no economic sense).
44.4 And there doesn't seem to be anyway you can deal with it.

Thus he ends up...

59. Dispersing all your earthly belongings.

Whoa! I can certainly see why you would be disturbed by this response! It seems to me the I Ching is mirroring your current situation - that is, that you are connected to someone who seems headed towards Dispersing all your assets - so it's not so much telling you what will happen in the future if you change things but more like what will happen in the future if you don't. Perhaps this response is to give you the confidence to trust your instincts and not be naively thinking, "Well, a good wife should follow her husband..." Having been told in no uncertain terms what will happen if you continue to allow your husband to continue with his foolishness this may give you the guts to tell him you love him but you can't live like this any longer. Perhaps there is some legal way you can separate your finances from his and still remain married or maybe when he hears how serious you are he'll wake up and be willing to set up a budget but whatever, there is no mystery about where things will end up if you keep doing what you're doing now.

If this is a reading about your life if you decide to divorce, then I hope you have a good lawyer so you aren't stuck with paying alimony.
 
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Fortuny1889

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thanks rosada for the time you spent with me.

I'm not so confident though.
I've already decided to leave it and he knows it. I don't love him and I didn't give any ultimatums.
He is not so much one who spends too much money. Sometimes he makes wrong mistakes, he earns little and in these years he has done nothing to improve himself. I saw that he never committed himself in this direction. He simply sees that I am the one who brings a safe salary in the family, but not so high, and he didn't feel the need to do more.

He also never wanted children and I gave up also because we wouldn't have enough money to grow them with serenity.

I feel alone now, I have no brothers, I have nobody. At least I wish I had financial peace without him.

I feel depressed now. This reading scared me so much.
 
D

diamanda

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Hi Fortuny,

will I find a more peaceful and satisfying economic situation? (after divorce) 44.3.4 > 59
The danger of being constantly punished (44.3) and having no money (44.4) will disappear (59). So, although you won't be richer than now, at least you won't be in the danger of someone sucking you dry while giving you nothing in return.

I've been in a similar position to you, and I have one thing to tell you: better to be at "zero", than at "minus". With your husband you're at "minus" - so move away from harm and trust me, life will be so much better.
 

Fortuny1889

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Hi Fortuny,

will I find a more peaceful and satisfying economic situation? (after divorce) 44.3.4 > 59
The danger of being constantly punished (44.3) and having no money (44.4) will disappear (59). So, although you won't be richer than now, at least you won't be in the danger of someone sucking you dry while giving you nothing in return.

I've been in a similar position to you, and I have one thing to tell you: better to be at "zero", than at "minus". With your husband you're at "minus" - so move away from harm and trust me, life will be so much better.

Thank you Diamanda for your wise words. It is true, I want to stay at zero growth rather than always living in constant loss.

What I would like is to be able to improve my work and be able to allow myself some more joy: a trip a year, sometimes buying those shoes I love. In the last five years I have only made sacrifices, renounce and postpone. And for him this was not a problem.

Perhaps that 59 with the 44 says that a meeting that has been negative in my life will disperse. It took away all the forms of creativity potential.

I remember that I ching had foreseen the end of this relationship. I had asked what the marriage with him would have been like, the answer was
47.1.6> 10

I had heard that it was not a good read, but then I thought that perhaps he meant that the end of a bad time began (47.6). From the way things turned out I realized instead that this cast was so precise: misery repentance and difficulty to untie and go away.
But at the time it seemed incredible to me: he looked so brilliant and his family looked wealthy. I could not imagine ... yet I Ching had already seen well.
 
D

diamanda

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Oh dear... so sorry you had to go through so much, and how apt that 47.1.6 > 10 was, for misery and difficulty as you said. I'm pretty sure your finances will get better without this constant drain.
 

rosada

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Now that I understand your question a bit more clearly I think 44.3.4 - 59 can be mirroring your current experience with finances and warning you to recognize this has created an expectation of poverty that could continue to shape your life even when your husband is no longer there sabotaging you. So while it may mean you will be able to easily and successfully Disperse the negative programing, it could also mean the negative experiences continue if his influence has gotten into your hard drive! What to do? For me, 44. seems to be about getting sucked into things so I think a good place to start would be to recognize where you may have intentionally shut down and given in and know you can now safely revive your dreams and start up again. Make a point of doing things you used to do, get the old you back, build up your resistance to manipulation, bullying and other people's sales pitches - don't get sucked in!
 

my_key

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Separating myself from my husband, will I solve the economic problems? 44.3.4> 59
I see in your first post that you were initially scared by what this reading was saying to you. It may be that what is happening around you is a blessing in disguise (59), especially if you can begin to see things differently (44). Right now your situation is tough and how you approach things will make a difference to how things appear to you. ( My Mum used to always say to me "Think Lucky and you are lucky" - tough I know when you are in amongst the muck and bullets) (44.3). Fighting against what is happening is going to be of no use, neither is thinking of worse case scenarios (44.4). It's not pleasant right now and the sooner it is over the better it will be for all concerned. Maybe look at what is happening as sacrifices to a brighter future (59) and stay focused on the brighter future.

.... read onto this what you will.

Good Luck

PS. Just scrolled up and read rosada's post. Similar message but as I've typed it all out I'll post anyway..
 

Fortuny1889

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Update

In less than a week my father-in-law died before, after a long illness, then my mother-in-law died the night after her husband's funeral.

You can imagine the gnawing pain for my husband. Compounding the pain was to discover that these two died without even leaving the money for the funeral, my father-in-law had debts with the government that will now all fall on us. My husband has no brothers.
We were able to pay the first funeral, the second I don't know how we'll do it.

They have squandered all their wealth. They were once wealthy people but they didn't know how to manage themselves. This scares me because I clearly see signs of my husband's likeness with them.

I think there is nothing else to add about the financial misfortunes provided by 44.3.4> 59.
Not to mention 47.1.6> 10 which seems like an endless condition.
 
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diamanda

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In most countries, descendants have to pay the deceased debts only if the descendants accept inheritance. From what you say, there's no inheritance, hence probably no obligation to pay the debts. They were his parents, so let your husband pay for them. Your husband has been bleeding you financially for some time now, right? (crying in front of you so that you continue to pay for him). He will continue to do this, if you allow it.
 

Fortuny1889

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There is a very large house and many things inside that could be used to heal debts.
We have to make a plan to decide whether to take or leave everything. It will depend on the amount of debts.

For the rest, your Diamanda advice is what I need to hear.
It won't be easy, but it's the right thing for me. Only I feel so sorry for him now, because he is alone in the world.
 
D

diamanda

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Of course you feel sorry for him having lost his parents, it's very sad indeed. Yet, sad as it is, you need to protect yourself from his parasitic drain in your own life. I hope you manage to find a good solution for both of you.
 

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