Setting out on the right path. . .

[green leaf]

There is a certain someone I am not sure of how to proceed with. Its kind of on and off. The questions were as follows:

Please show me the most proper and beneficial course of action to take with this person. - 36.1.2.4.5 to 28.
Please show me what attitude or action I should take now in order to bring about this 36 to 28. - 41.2.4 to 21.
Please help me understand why I need to move away from this person now. - 53.1.5 to 22.

Thank you.

 

[ginnie]

Overburdened

Missunderling, since you have gotten 36.4 as one of your moving lines, then you have seen or soon will see into his darkened heart. This relationship will lead to some sort of heavy crisis, or it grew out of one.

I take your getting hex 41.2.4 to mean that he's draining your energies severely and that if you are able to escape from this relationship with a man who does not appreciate you, then you will have reduced the number of ills besetting you.

Apparently there was some emergency that made it impossible for you to leave him at first. He was in trouble of some kind.

The reason you have to move away from him now is that if you stay with him too long you will end up married to a man with a dark heart.

The Yi is helping you see your situation clearly in an upfront kind of way. It sees things that maybe you don't yet believe to be true, because it sees through the veils of illusions that surround us all. And it also does not want you to head straight into misery, thinking that it is happiness.

 

[green leaf]

Wow.

This relationship will lead to some sort of heavy crisis, or it grew out of one.

This is true. It grew out of one and has never really gone away.

I take your getting hex 41.2.4 to mean that he's draining your energies severely

So that's why I keep dreaming about vampires lately. I do feel that I give a lot more than he does or care a lot more than he does.

The reason you have to move away from him now is that if you stay with him too long you will end up married to a man with a dark heart.

Yep. I do feel that if he asked me to marry him now I would say yes. But are you sure he has a dark heart? Maybe its the situation that is dark or his heart is just dark as in not on fire or lit up for me specifically. He is such a wonderful person. Which leads to. . .

The Yi is helping you see your situation clearly in an upfront kind of way. It sees things that maybe you don't yet believe to be true, because it sees through the veils of illusions that surround us all. And it also does not want you to head straight into misery, thinking that it is happiness.

I suppose he may seem wonderful now but in time he won't. I wish I could be as objective and up front as the I Ching sometimes. I do feel so happy with him and don't want to believe that it could be otherwise.

Thanks so much barbra. It kinda helps having someone tell you things that you already kinda know. If you don't want to believe something it can be easy to persuade yourself that coins or yarrow stalks are simply just coins and yarrow stalks even if they are telling you something that is staring you in the face.

 

[ginnie]

The Playing Out of It

The Yi is not a fortuneteller. There is always the possibility that something will shift and things will get better. But getting hexagram 36, lack of appreciation and needing to hide your intelligence, for the main hexagram of this relationship is certainly not a good sign. And hexagram 28 means you should seek for an avenue of escape.

A time is coming when you will see plainly how little he really appreciates you, and maybe that would be the best time to exit the relationship, since at that point it will be apparent to both of you that you are both unhappy.

If you want more clarification about this man, you might ask the Yi, "Please characterize this man for me." And see what hexagram you get.

 

[bamboo]

The 36 may not mean that this man has a dark heart, but I do think it suggests he is not good/right for you.
In grad school, I wanted a parttime job and I got one that I thought was perfect. It was in my field, it was the right hours , and I landed it amongst lots of competition. I was really happy and before I went in on the first day, I asked the Yi what I needed to know about my new job; the response was 36.5. and the text I used said that I was with the wrong people and was going to have to guard my core. I thought the reading was suprising and curious, but I thought it had to be wrong, since the job and people couldnt have appeared more "right". Boy was I wrong and the Yi was 100% correct.
Very shortly, I discovered that the dynamics of the place was incredibly dysfunctional. One woman in particular tried to sabotage me covertly over and over again; I could hardly believe it was happening at the time, I kept trying to think I was imagining it. When it became so obvious that I couldnt ignore it anymore, I went to the supervisor and was even more shocked by how she handled it. I wont get into all the details, but I ended up feeling so confused and helpless that it was awful to even go there every day. I have never before or since been in such a position where I literally felt I had to play dumb just to survive. I didnt wait too long, as soon as I found some other job, I quit and I was so happy to be out of there.

Sometimes we want somethingto be right so badly that we ignore the mixed messages and try to adapt, but the cost is very great. If this relationship was right for you, it would most likely not be on again, off again, dont you think? What is truly right for us will proceed like a road where you get all green lights. The yi gives you advice in this that seems so undeniable: lots of red lights. I would also trust your dreams! I once had a relationship with a man who I thought was wonderful and I had a dream that he was Ted Bundy disguised as Superman. It turned out to be very true!

Be wise. Maybe the reason you need to bite through and move away (53 > 22) is that you are wanting to be married and harbor the illusion that he can fulfill that dream. On the other hand, 53 to 22 could mean that although you are single now, the right relationship is in the wings waiting. and to waste time with this man would delay that possibility