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Shall I have kids ? Hex 44.2.3.5>35

AnnaP1

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As I had a pretty rough childhood and no good examples from both my mother and my father I decided that it will be best for me not to get pregnant and not risk having a kid. However the older I get the more lonely I feel so I asked if I shall have kids whether this will be good for me?
Hex 44.2.3.5>35
I see this as a warning to not have them and a confirmation that I shall not yield upon this temptation however, the line 5 is very intriguing to me ''Liu: The melon lies under the medlar tree. The glory is hidden. Something (blessing) comes down from heaven.'' maybe I am wrong but it feels to me like a pregnancy? Or I am wrong?Regards Anna
 

CheersC

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Well, hexagram 44 is a warning but u also get line 5 which means that all comes at the right time. Probably u will have kids but there is need to be prepared first for the following things: to have the right resources, body health etc (line 2, fish in the box) and not to do it only to fill the emptiness (no meat on hips, walking is not easy), I guess line 3 talks about the risk of a difficult raising if the encounter is forced to make kids.I am not sure about the lines but i know for sure 44.5 will turn things fine at the right time and u will feel it. It also becomes 35, Progress which is a natural progress i think
 

moss elk

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Hi Anna,

This is a big decision, so it requires serious consideration.

First, please clarify the meaning of your question:
Did you mean would it be a good idea for you to have kids?
or was it more like:
Will you have kids?
So, was it counsel or prediction you were seeking?

Back to the reading, in line 2 someone has something that is enough for them.
(but a child guest would not be served by it) This could be your life, what you have, your energetic and emotional resources. Perhaps you have plenty for yourself and can be content and happy without a child.

Line 3 could be the Rump-kicking of a rough childhood. It is an experience that can hurt for a while.

Line 5 says not right now

With 35, there is improvement.
Work that is done that makes things better.
(Have you had any counseling?)

Parenting is the most difficult thing I have ever done.
It requires unrelenting dedication and devotion, heart stopping worry, lot's of mistakes and course corrections, it takes time and energy. It is not for the faint of heart or the careless.Then there is the period between 16 and 18 where they look at you like you are the dumbest thing to ever walk on two legs and aren't often receptive to your counsel.
I raised my one child, and two children of others, so I know the difficulty.
 
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diamanda

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the older I get the more lonely I feel so I asked if I shall have kids whether this will be good for me?
44.2.3.5>35

The answer speaks of being with a partner just the two of you (44.2). A lot of sex (or a lot of difficulties) follow (44.3). And finally a pregnancy (44.5). And everything after that happens very fast, or, the sex continues (35).

Do you already have a partner? If yes, then just go for it and a pregnancy will follow very soon. If you don't have a partner, obviously you should consider finding one, as he will be a necessary part in this.

Also, having had a rough childhood yourself as you said, do you think that selfish interest (you feeling lonely) is a good reason to bring another human being into the world? As Moss Elk said, parenthood means devotion - devotion to another human being that is, not to your own benefit.
 

AnnaP1

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hello and thank you for answering me. in my initial question I meant ''Shall I have kids and whether it would be good for me?'' not ''Will I ever have kids?'' And I am asking this exactly because I had a tough past and I would never risk a life of a new human being just to satisfy my own loneliness or anything like that! The sole reason I was curious about this is that I kind of isolated myself, I haven't been in a long term relationship for a quite long time and apart from smaller pretty non significant periods when I was dating someone, I am still out of luck with finding anyone suitable for a ''longer run''. So I thought that maybe I am limiting myself unnecessarily. I am also a bit confused about the second hexagram reading I've heard somewhere that the second hexagram is a ''relating hexagram'' which depicts from where the situation came, like a current state of affairs, and that I should only read the first one as the main result. But it looks it's the other way around? The first hexagram oracle produces is the one that describes the current pattern or the situation and the second one is the result? I might have messed this up, sorry. So as a follow up I asked the oracle whether I should get into relationship in this year or maybe not? And here are the resulting outcomes
Shall I start a relationship with someone in 2019 and begin living together? Hex 1 3.5.6>54
Shall I concentrate on getting into relationship with someone in 2019, but without living together? Hex 35.5.6>45
Shall I remain being alone in 2019? Hex 44.1.4.5>26
again, I don't need a direct description just a direction to point myself. I believe living together will start good but end badly, being alone is also not so great and being with someone but not sharing a flat would be the thing that works best in this series of results.
 
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diamanda

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I am also a bit confused about the second hexagram reading I've heard somewhere that the second hexagram is a ''relating hexagram'' which depicts from where the situation came, like a current state of affairs, and that I should only read the first one as the main result. But it looks it's the other way around? The first hexagram oracle produces is the one that describes the current pattern or the situation and the second one is the result?
Some people on this forum take the 2nd hexagram to mean "relating, current, backdrop, descriptive adjective" etc. Some other people (myself included) take the 2nd hexagram as the future result. You take your pick.

I asked the oracle whether I should get into relationship in this year or maybe not?
Dear Anna, you speak as if getting into a relationship or not is totally a matter of conscious personal choice. It's not. We can put in the effort, yes, but such things also very greatly depend on luck.

Shall I start a relationship with someone in 2019 and begin living together?
1.3.5.6>54

You'll meet someone who will give you a lot of worries. He'll be a very arrogant person, and he'll also be involved with someone else. 54 means love triangle (triangle at the very least...). It's unlikely you'll live together. Even if you manage to live together, he won't be faithful.

shall I concentrate on getting into relationship with someone in 2019, but without living together?
35.5.6 > 45

If you go on without a care in the world (35.5), you'll end up reproaching yourself (35.6), and you'll just keep searching within a community or online dating website (45).

Shall I remain being alone in 2019?
44.1.4.5 > 26

If you try to stop your sexual instinct altogether (44.1), you'll feel bad about it (44.4). It will come back strong by itself (44.5) and yet again you'll go out there into the world trying to find a partner (26), as per normal human behaviour.
 

AnnaP1

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Dear Anna, you speak as if getting into a relationship or not is totally a matter of conscious personal choice. It's not. We can put in the effort, yes, but such things also very greatly depend on luck.
Yes I do realize this its sort of more between ''putting myself out there'' more and actively looking for someone and stepping back into my own comfort zone and not letting anyone in. That is what I meant and from the castings it looks like I'd be better off being alone rather than having some bad experiences like the one described.
 

AnnaP1

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I dont fully know why being in a relation but not living in the same flat is being called living without a care ''If you go on without a care in the world''
 

AnnaP1

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Some people on this forum take the 2nd hexagram to mean "relating, current, backdrop, descriptive adjective" etc. Some other people (myself included) take the 2nd hexagram as the future result. You take your pick.
Thank you for your time in replying me. As per this so there is really no hard fixed answer on it? Maybe sometimes its one, sometimes its the other? Some of my results could be interpreted like the second hexagram was showing the relating current situation out of which the pattern emerges and other were more like ''this is the future where it goes to'' maybe both can be true after all I Ching has its own consciousness
 

AnnaP1

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I have a theory on this, as it is a ''living'' system with so many variables, maybe sometimes we believe/think it's one answer... (2nd Hex is Related) and so it is, it fits our castings pretty well and so on and then somehow it ''switches'' and we start to believe it depicts the future... and all the results seem to confirm this... and then again, after 2-3 years (or so) it ''switches'' again... like the Oracle and its understanding remains constant in our minds and then it changes, and thus it continues a dialogue with us. That is a fully magical interpretation but there's nothing ordinary about the I Ching!
 
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diamanda

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shall I concentrate on getting into relationship with someone in 2019, but without living together?
35.5.6 > 45

If you go on without a care in the world (35.5), you'll end up reproaching yourself (35.6), and you'll just keep searching within a community or online dating website (45).

I dont fully know why being in a relation but not living in the same flat is being called living without a care ''If you go on without a care in the world''

As you can see from my quoted answer above, I used the words "go on without a care in the world" to describe line 35.5. Line 35.5 describes someone who simply proceeds forward, without caring about loss or gain.

My take is that you received this line because setting the intention to enter a relationship, but without caring to make it official (living together), is quite a nonchalant approach. I've read countless threads on this forum where a man says to a woman something like "I'm not sure what I want" (real meaning: "I don't want a relationship with you") - and the woman says "yes of course, I'm not ready right now either" (real meaning: "ok but I certainly hope you'll want a relationship with me soon"). Then the woman shortly after comes here and asks dozens of questions as to why the man doesn't commit. Well, she agreed to not be official in the first place, she put no boundaries, so what else can we expect?

Being nonchalant is a luxury for very young people, as they still have time and opportunities to settle down later. Sadly such opportunities drastically decrease with age.
 

AnnaP1

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I understand. Well as plenty of people live in places that are shared or are bound by lease agreements its rarely possible to start living together straight off the hat and by my question I only meant that at first I will be in relationship but won't be living together until I get to know the person well to avoid getting hurt which happened in the past. Of course eventually I would love to do that. My question was only nudged towards this option perhaps I should be more detailed. Thank you Diamanda.
 

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