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Should I ask her to meet with me this week?

donjuan

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I have recently received some great advice from some of the friends on this site. A lot of what has been intrepreted can bs summarized by "relax, slow down, let things happen naturally. Be ready, but don't push the relationship." However, I would like to meet with her, just for coffee, later this week. I asked the Yi: (OK, OK, I asked the same question TWICE - I know, rather disrepectful - but I could not, for the life of me, understand the first answer). The question was "Should I ask (her) to meet with me this week?" I know, not a good question for the Yi, but need to know if this would be "pushing" it too much. I don't want to scare her off!

The answers I recieved were:

First time asking: 60.1.2 changing to 8

Second time asking: 61.2.5 changing to 27.

I really appreciate any and all feedback! Thanks in advance!

All the best,

Don
 

donjuan

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Hi folks,

Really, any insight would be appreciated. I need to get a good perspective on this situation. Please help!

Don
 

frank

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Hi Don,

I have a feeling that the two answers the Yi has given you are a follow up from the ones you asked earlier, like "Does she bite what you say, and vice versa" (you received 27 again...)

I do not know in what kind of mood you where at the first question and that you where in some kind of nervous anxiety or something before the second question, but as first 60 is a hexagram for limitations... Know your borders. But... do know the challenge as well... It's a bit of 'free-wheeling' between what you and the woman want to do and getting over a line, next to not holding in to much... In a matter of speaking you can also say when you want a certain relationship out of a friendship there will be other rules involved then when you are staying friends. This is about those new rules... And actualy a very important rule is 'not go to fast' and line 1 of 60 is telling you NOT to go out of the room... so NO invitation. Line 2 is telling about changing the way you think about the relationship to get what you want. It's not done yet, but you have to let her come your way more, then running yourself, but do not hastitate to run anyway (freelwheeling between two borders... yours and hers). Hexagram 8 then tells you about the Union.... What is it between you two that makes you 'friends'...? And what did she tell you already about the idea of getting involved in a deeper relationship with you, what are HER words in this?

The second answer is telling you to look to yourself as YOU already know the answer (Inner Truth...) and by changing lines 2 & 5 you get 27 again as hexagram which is telling you again to look at what you two are binding together, and then invite her for that, and NOT because of other expectations... (YET :-D). Be truthfull... to yourself, but to her as well, as there could always be a risk that you will not 'get' her as girlfriend, but by pushing and getting over borders (to fast) loose a friendship as well...

Good luck with it...

Hug,
Frank
 

donjuan

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Hi Frank,

Thanks for your message. Again, I am being told, "just relax" and let things happen. I guess I want to pushing things along too much. Based on what you recommend (and I do appreciate it) I will not extend an invitation to her. Perhaps absence makes the heart grow fonder.

As for the status of our relationship: We did become somewhat close, but she put a stop to it. However, I get the feeling that, if she could, we would have a more intimate relationship. So, I guess I am still hoping that there is the possibility of more with her.

From what you read, do you see that I am kidding myself, and that she is not interested, and I should give up hope of more?

Any feedback is appreciated.

Take Care,

Don.
 

femke

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Hi Don

I'm in a similar situation and don't feel objective enough by far to give any sort of advice on the subject. So all I want to say really is that I sympathize with you greatly and wish you patience, peace of mind and the best of luck! (and hopefully some of it will bounce back to me..)

Femke
 

frank

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Hi Don,

Thank you for the fact that you take my advice that serious :-D. I do not want to be the one who later becomes 'that guy who withholded us'...:-D. But still, for what I saw in the answers on 60 en 61... I thought I should tell things as I told you. I know it is not easy for you to wait and not invite, but to me that is what the Yi is telling you to do... You are always free to do otherwise... I asked the Yi a lot of questions about 'The Love Thing' all the time, and lately I'm in love with someone who realy wants to be friends (she even came to my birthday-party two days ago), and we are actually joining together a foundation for a good cause (handicaped children in Brazil), where she asked me to, but we are in the middle of my feelings for her and wanting more out of the whole situation, and stay friends joined together in a foundation and 'work' together.. Brings some tensions now and then, and among a lot of answers the Yearly 'prediction' the Yi gave me about this relationship is 61 (Inner Truth), so I know the answer too :-D, with lines 3 & 5 towards 26... We are exactly in line 3 these days... A great predicion as for the sake of it, line 5 gives hope for a bond, whatever that bond will be... We will be connected, although I want a physical connection as well...

So, as I do... just do not give up hope yet, but be aware of your intentions, do not feel ashamed of them, but to respect the way things are going...

Hang in there!

Hug,
Frank
 

donjuan

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Hi Frank and Femke,

Thank to you both for your kind replies. It is surprising how many people use this site to address their relationship issues. Wouldn't life be easier if we could just be open, and honest with each other? (Sigh).

I will keep you posted on any progress with my situtation - please do the same with yours. Not only would I like to hear, but to hear how things are working our wrt the Yi's answers.

All the best to both of you,

Don.
 

donjuan

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Hi All,

I promised an update about my situtation. As it turned out, she contacted me the day after I asked if I should contact her. We spoke breifly, as it was not the best time or place to do so. It was a pleasant and friendly conversation. As it turns out, I had reason to call her the next day - I had made a contact that could lead to a good job opportunity for her. She was very excited about this. I spoke with her approx 3 times that day, as she asked for some help with her resume and cover letter. At that point I suggested we meet for coffee later this week....I know, I know, I took a chance. she happily agreed. So I will be meeting with her tomorrow.

I have queried the Yi about how I should act. The replies have been suggesting things such as : keep it light, don't push, be a friend, enjoy each other's company, etc. I have no intentions of pushing a romance tomorrow. I don't want to scare her away! (Mind you, I may let her take the lead!)

I'll let you know how things go! (wish me luck!)

All the best to all,

Don
 

donjuan

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Hi Frank and Femke (and anyone else reading this),

Well, I met her for coffee this morning. We chatted about everything for about an hour and a half. Good conversation. We get along very well, so I am not surprised that we had a nice time. We did talk about our previous "interactions" and admitted to each other (and yes, I do agree) that we are not ready for anything other than what we have now.

All in all, a nice time. And we made some future plans to meet, and to speak with each other. So, I can say that we presently have a very close and warm friendship. It feels nice.

Would I like more, or course. But it is not possible right now (and I am confortable saying that).

After we met, I asked the Yi a question: "What can I expect is the result of my meeting today with "her"?". The answer was 63 with no lines changing. I read this saying that our relationship has now moved into a new phase. We are not "lovers" (actually, we never got to that stage) but are "close friends". Any thoughts on this interpretation?

Have a good day and thanks in advance for any replies!

Take Care,

Don
 

femke

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Hi Don!

Are you sure about your nickname?! You sound very faithfull for a Don Juan!
I've been in a like situation as you for almost a year now, except that I had a short relationship with him last February and March. On which the I Ching was extremely positive.. sigh... (1-5, 1-2,5 among others..)
But, things happened.
And just before he broke up with me, I got 49-4, transforming into 63. I've had 63 before, last October, right after he started a love relationship with an Italian woman. So I guess it's a phase of adjusting to a new situation, finding its -learning- possibilities (which I can say after a year, it certainly has) and maintaining it carefully. Which is hard, because it's not what you really want, right?
I read somewhere, I'm afraid I forgot the source, that hex. 63 and 64 are indicative of a major life theme (because they are each others nuclear hexagrams, I hope this is the right translation). For me this certainly goes. It teaches me to have an open heart and depend on myself rather than on one other person. I feel that if I capture this, I'll be able to have a fulfilling relationship. So, a time of investing in the future!
But: hard!

Let us know how it evolves. One point of consolation on your wandering spirit: I've had 63 and half a year later I had a relationship. So, as everything, this too shall pass.

Love, Femke
 

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