Should I find my own apartment or move in with my boyfriend? 41.3

[Owlietta]

I rent a room, and the leaseholder has asked me to move out. So now I need to find a new home.

Actually my question was "should I find my own apartment?" A man I have been dating has asked me several times to move in with him, but I recently (about a week ago) told him I wasn't all that interested. He was disappointed. I still have the key he insisted on giving me.

I don't own any furniture, and I have never lived all alone before. It would be so much easier to move in with the man I was dating, even though I am not 100% sure about whether he is right for me.

41. Sun / Decrease

----------
---- ---- above K^en Keeping Still, Mountain
---- ----
---- ----
---------- below Tui The Joyous, Lake
----------

The Judgement

Decrease combined with sincerity
Brings about supreme good fortune
Without blame.
One may be persevering in this.
It furthers one to undertake something.
How is this to be carried out?
One may use two small bowls for the sacrifice.

The Image

At the foot of the mountain, the lake:
The image of Decrease.
Thus the superior man controls his anger
And restrains his instincts.

The Lines

[] Six in the third place means:
When three people journey together,
Their number decreases by one.
When one man journeys alone,
He finds a companion.


26. Ta Ch'u / The Taming Power of the Great

----------
---- ---- above K^en Keeping Still, Mountain
---- ----
----------
---------- below Ch'ien The Creative, Heaven
----------

 

[Owlietta]

See what I'm thinking? The third changing line says to me I should move in with someone else, and not get my own apartment. But I'm not an expert at this.

 

[1eleven]

No.

 

[1eleven]

Please note my answer is specifically to the question asked, "Should I find my own apartment?" The answer is a clear no. That doesn't necessarily mean to move in with him. Are there other options? You may want to also ask directly about moving in with him.

1eleven

 

[Trojina]

All it basically says is 3 is a crowd, people pair up, so if you do go off alone you soon find a friend.
That's when it's about people at all...it can refer to other factors. "


I really don't think it's telling you not to get your own apartment unless you feel that very strongly anyway.

FWIW, Yi aside, moving in with someone is a big move and not always so easy to get out of so if you have any doubts don't do it.

I think with this cast you really have to go with your own feelings. If you aren't a natural pair with your boyfriend don't worry, go your way. Follow your feelings, they tell you who to pair with and it is certainly okay to be alone at this time.

 

[Owlietta]

I asked: Should I get back together with my boyfriend? (with the implication that he still wants me to move in)
41. Sun / Decrease (Again with 41, 3rd changing line!)
The Lines

[] Six in the third place means:
When three people journey together,
Their number decreases by one.
When one man journeys alone,
He finds a companion.

Six in the fourth place means:
If a man decreases his faults,
It makes the other hasten to come and rejoice.
No blame.


14. Ta Yu / Possession in Great Measure

----------
---- ---- above Li The Clinging, Flame
----------
----------
---------- below Ch'ien The Creative, Heaven
----------

The Judgement
Possession in Great Measure.
Supreme success.

The Image

Fire in heaven above:
The image of Possession in Great Measure.
Thus the superior man curbs evil and furthers good,
And thereby obeys the benevolent will of heaven.

 

[anemos]

I got once 41.3 when no other people were involved.; just me and a decision I had to made. I was kind of at odds with myself. Both hex (41 & 26) talk about balancing some excess, taming.

 

[Lilly-La]

Actually my question was "should I find my own apartment?" A man I have been dating...

[] Six in the third place means:
When three people journey together,
Their number decreases by one.
When one man journeys alone,
He finds a companion.

41.3 is the line right in the middle between Lake (passion of all kinds) and Mountain (konservative, can become angry, stopping..)
To me it reads like there is You, Mountain and Lake. You can partner with Mountain or with Lake but not with both at the same time.
Reminds me of the saying: you can not have the cake and eat it at the same time.

Another thought is, this guy you have been dating is very passionate about you and you will be "stopping" him which usually leads to trouble...

best to you Owlietta

 

[Daeluin]

I might ask another question. "What are the consequences of moving in with X?" Or, "What are the consequences of moving in by myself?"

See, you asked "Should I", which is a yes or no question. Yi doesn't give yes or no answers, but describes how things are changing. I find asking what or how questions "how can I change this situation to accomplish X?" or "what is the outcome of x?" give an answer I can understand easier.

A yes or no question is a polarity of two forces, this and that. I don't think Yi understands or knows what we should do any better than we do, so it describes the change taking place between yes and no. This change is the fulcrum of the situation and may be the same for a multitude of yes or no questions involving the same circumstance.

So here you received 41.3 both times, which seems an apt explanation of your situation. The way you turned down his offers in the beginning is in line with the beginning of 41, and line 3 signifies a more challenging moment where one chooses to follow or to still desire, demonstrated through the metaphor of companions.

But this is the center of the question, not the answer for one side or the other. Here, Yi might simply be pointing specifically at line 3 (which so aptly sums up your question here), rather than emphasizing what line 3 is changing too. The resulting 26 is hard to read - if it is the outcome, is it the outcome of yes, or of no?

Hope this helps you!