Should I pursue friendship with him? 2.1 > 24

[Solanna]

A little background: I have broken up with a partner after six years at the beginning of December. The initiative was his, but it was something we both felt should be done, it's just that we both were cowards. I still loved him though, and he said he hasn't for some time now. The circumstances weren't great, he "forgot" to mention there is someone new who he confessed to the previous evening and basically made this decision their, not ours. I've learned about it a week earlier and felt stripped of agency. I know he did it because he's weak. Our relationship wasn't great, he was jealous of my career and couldn't help himself from bringing me down and criticizing at every occasion and I couldn't set clear boundries, so of course I'm not blameless either. Anyway, he apologized for the way he broke up with me and expressed a desire to stay friends. We understand each other pretty well and it isn't that easy to find a close person nowadays. I still care about him, but I have doubts if he trully still cares about me. He is a troubled person, depressive, starting therapy next month. His new girlfriend feels uncofortable with him being friends with me, which probably is one of the reasons I don't see him making much effort to make it up to me. I feel like forgiving him is enough good will on my part. I don't want him back as a boyfriend, but I like the idea of being good friends. I just don't know if he can be one for me and I don't want to invest in something that will be bad for me, long term.

I feel like the Oracle is telling me to be patient and open to the possibility, but not to actively pursue it, as in making the effort or working really hard to make it happen. The ball is in his court - that's the feeling I got. We both have a lot of growing and learning to do, and I should maybe focus on myself and not him, and also leave some space for him to understand what he wants and needs in life and then possibly come to me, if this is what he decides he wants. It's all still pretty fresh and nothing should be hurried.
I feel uncomfortable seeing him as the master or light in this reading, as I very clearly know he wasn't good to me and he would have to change the way he treated me and prove he does care as much he states he does. So far I came up with the initiative to meet three times and he said he wanted but couldn't because of this or that and I feel the reading suggests I should stop my efforts and maybe stop counting on friendship happening between us, but not being actively against it, as in cutting contact or burning all bridges. I shouldn't chase him - but let him come to me, which my not happen now or soon. I should meanwhile focus on growing as a person, instead of clinging to hope and waiting idly. I should maybe still possibly belive it will happen, eventually - this is the part I'm unsure about, as I asked with the intention of discerning what will be good for me, what will be right for the situation, not with a hope of getting a pat on the back that everything will be allright and this is a great path to follow. Still, I very much feel some hope in this reading, as in: I don't feel like it's telling me to turn away from this path, shut all contact, never speak to him again and run.
More that... it shouldn't matter for me, if he does learn to appreciate me and comes back? That it will be ok either way, that it shouldn't matter to me, as long as I focus on my own path, on healing the wounds and becoming who I should be.

I'd love some input from more experienced folks.

 

[Arcanna Mundi]

Hello dear,

I’m not the most experienced folk here, but i will try to help!

As far as i can interpret this reading, it means that if you keep being receptive to the relationship (2) it will be a return (>24). So, as you already said, it is nothing you have to make actively. Just mind your business and everything will solve itself at the proper time. Have faith in the devine timing and you won’t be dissapointed. Hexagram 24 speaks about the return of an individual at his proper path. To be honest, i think that the proper path was your relationship, even though it may not seem like this after all you have described.

Furthermore, line 1 mark a beginning, so don’t wait that change will happen very soon. It might take a while. Plus, the line is not at her proper place. This is a magnetic line in the place the of dynamic one. I think that in this case the line is him and not you. This means that right now he makes his first steps in a situation where he does not belong and in the future he will return to his proper path.
1st line is describing someone treading on hoarfrost, while ice will definitely follow. He is making his first steps in this cold situation. Water is symbolising emotions... and Well, ice forms itself where is no heat. Interesting how the line is pointing to winter too! Maybe he’ll return to his proper path until spring.

PS: i don’t think that he is the light or master, but these are part of his higher nature which he should pursue. We all have a master within but inferior forces aswell. Anyway, where have you read a translation where the master in mentioned? Line one is pointing to the ordinary man.

Look at hexagram 24.1 for further info! It points to the return of a man to his proper path without making a big mistake. Furthermore, when the situation will develop itself to the related hexagram 24, we will have line 1 and 4 at their proper place with their proper correlate. I think that these ones are you 2!

Anway... i think this was a rather long interpretation. The main point is that 2.1>24 is describing more the situation, but it definitely answers your question: you don’t have to pursue him but instead to stay receptive to the relationship

-Arcanna

 

[mandarin_23]

Hi Solanna,

it is a picture of winter, and frost, and winter solstice - the new Year - to come. So you'd like to be wrapped, warm, intimate, and there is a lot of darkness around you. It doesn't make sense to fight for this friendship. Maybe best to accept things as they are and quiet down. Maybe you have to accept coldness, loneliness and frost. This winter situation won't last, as you are returning to the truth of your nature.

Funny reading! I got it when asking for a friend who let me down - not a husband, a mentor. I can't phone him or so, but know that he is still interested in what I'm doing. At a certain distance. I have to wait and see. Another time I got this line after I wasn't that sure if someone else, a male colleague in a superior position, respected me. Maybe he did.

This 2.1 line is a humble line. Maybe good not to let people look down on you, especially not as a woman. Be yourself. Rely on yourself. Clear light will return.

 

[mandarin_23]

... and then again, hexagram 2 could also be about attracting people, by being generous, and caring for them. And especially as a woman. This will make you feel your inner warmth and strength.

 

[laperdida]

as long as I focus on my own path, on healing the wounds and becoming who I should be.

I'm not an experienced reader, but this, to me, is the key. I usually think of 24 as returning to yourself. So focusing on what you need to heal and move forward. You may decide that being friends with him will help you do that--or you may not. I was in a similar situation recently; we broke up and tried being friends after a month of limited contact. But there were too many unresolved feelings--it was too soon to be friends. So I think maybe that's where 2.1 comes in. It talks about hardening ice, like the solidifying of a situation. It's only been 2 months since your separation, which, considering the length and intensity of the relationship, isn't really very long. In many ways, the situation between you is still fluid and unresolved. Maybe a little more time to yourself (24 again) will help you work through the lingering feelings and thoughts to plan a more solid way forward. And will allow the situation to settle and harden, like ice.

 

[Solanna]

Thank you all for the insights!

I think that in this case the line is him and not you. This means that right now he makes his first steps in a situation where he does not belong and in the future he will return to his proper path.

I usually feel that with I Ching readings, the response is about what's in my power - the right course of action, the proper mindset and expectations, how should I thread in a situation for the right outcome (and right isn't always what I would want to happen). More a guidance than prediction of the future - and thus I would be surprised if it talked about him and his actions, no matter how much this would be what I'd like to happen.

Funny reading! I got it when asking for a friend who let me down - not a husband, a mentor. I can't phone him or so, but know that he is still interested in what I'm doing. At a certain distance. I have to wait and see. Another time I got this line after I wasn't that sure if someone else, a male colleague in a superior position, respected me. Maybe he did.

Yes, I feel a hint of uncertainty in this reading. There are some signs that not all is lost, but also nothing I can or should do, at least in this moment. He hurt me a lot - I probably shouldn't invest in a person who treated me like that and shouldn't even want it - and instead find strenght and self confidence.

... and then again, hexagram 2 could also be about attracting people, by being generous, and caring for them. And especially as a woman. This will make you feel your inner warmth and strength.

This is the core of my dilemma with tis reading and the reason I decided to consult the community. I feel like being generous and caring is the best version of myself which Oracle also encourages me to embrace, but at the same time, it feels more like a state of being I should achieve and definitely not actions I should take towards him.

I'm not an experienced reader, but this, to me, is the key. I usually think of 24 as returning to yourself. So focusing on what you need to heal and move forward. You may decide that being friends with him will help you do that--or you may not.

I also think it's about returning to myself. My wants and needs have been taking the back seat for a long time and I think while casting the hexagram I could have sort of want to know if friendship is something HE wants, so the answear may be about how I should focus on understanding what I want and what will be right for me instead. Being generous and caring also towards myself. Thank you!