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Should i stay or should i go (anyone remember the clash?)

sugarlobster

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hi everyone, long time no see. happy 2005!

i was hoping some of you generous souls could give me some ideas as to a couple of castings.

the context is i'm wondering if i should maintain a friendship with someone. on the one hand it has been a very rewarding one and could possibly continue to be so, on the other it has been a source of emotional anxiety and could possibly continue to be so ;)
for further context: he's a man, we've been occasional lovers in the past, but are no longer.

i think i've ended up asking the same question in two different ways, but here goes:

first i asked the yi for a general take:
what if i 'stay'? 64.4,6>7
what if i 'go'? 25 (that one seems clear enough!)

then i asked what is the positive potential for me in maintaining the connection?
15
the negative potential?
10.5,6>54

look forward to hearing your ideas on this and many thanks in advance

lots of love,
sugarlobster
 

RindaR

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Hi SugarLobster,

It looks like you are up against something that is within yourself, and that this relationship gives you a great opportunity to work on whatever is giving you the anxiety you mention. I'm also thinking that this portrays a situation where you can do this work now or later, and that it will return again in another form if you choose to bypass it now.

Rinda
 

sugarlobster

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hi rinda, nice to meet you. thanks for pitching in. what you says sounds really interesting, i hadn't thought about it in that way at all but it seems to make sense - it definitely strikes a chord although as yet in a very vague way. do you think you could be more specific based on the casting? or just expand on what you mean?
thanks so much.
x sl
 

RindaR

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Sugarlobster,

For staying:
If 7 is the background, the part of Karcher's comments that leaps out at me in the context of your question is (inter alia): "You are surrounded by crowds of unorganized things, take care to correct this by putting each thing in it's place. Support and sustain the people, this is difficult and grievous work. Take risks and confront obstacles in your desire to serve." This sounds to me like a possible echo of whatever is causing your anxiety.

64 is a turning point, again from Karcher "On the edge of an important change; gather your energy, everything is possible; wait for the right moment." Be as cautious, careful and as adaptable as a small fox.

.4 suggests to me that your motivation is worthy, and although this will be very difficult you can succeed. "the way is open".

.9 indicates it will be important to let the past go, and mentions drinking liquor. Alcohol is a disinhibitor and a depressant - it soothes anxiety, relaxes a person, and takes down inner barriers or caution. It is also typically used in celebrations. (It can also addict a person with the wrong brain chemistry, but that's another issue.)

For going:
25- you've got that one already.

positive potential:
15 suggests that one thing you might learn is how to adapt to, or how to voluntarily take a lower position, to explore the benefits and different kind of power in being able to do that to get what you want. This echoes 64 in it's caution to stay agile and alert, and echoes 7 in speaking about connecting with others and adds an element of correcting excesses.

negative potential:
10 indicates there is some kind of danger (thus your anxiety?) "You are walking in the tracks of the tiger, if you are careful and perceptive, this being will give you what you want need to exist and frighten off what whats to harm you. Speak to it and you can partake of its poer and intelligence. Do not do anything to make it bite you." etc...

.5 says to make up your mind and go for it, even if you might lose something. It's the right thing.

.6 offers further encouragement. Observe how others you know have handled similar situations and do likewise and you will succeed.

54 suggests to me that this the roots of this problem are something you've dealt with before, and will need to deal with again if you don't take care of it now. Transformation over which you have no control.

I hope these thoughts are helpful.

Rinda
 

sugarlobster

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dear rinda, thanks for taking the time to write that.
i think the danger in 10 is the anxiety itself, and the danger of being caught up in a loop where i feel there's no way forward and no way back - not being able to tread my own path driven from my own core, but getting all mixed up in his influence, which at the same time, is truly full of power and intelligence, creative and very 'transformational'. (kinda echoed by 54 as well, i suppose, not being in control and all that)
and also, dealing with expectations, desire versus reality, what i get versus what i want.
the changing lines in 10 are both about making a decision, which is precisely where i'm stuck!

7 and 15 i'm still not clear about (4, 7 and 15 seem the hardest hexagrams to make sense of, for me)

i've let him know my confusion and his reply has been that he definitely wants our friendship to continue. he's waiting for an answer, but i still don't know what to say to him. i'm scared of pulling out and scared of going ahead.

any further feedback, anyone? please??

sl
 

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