Sinking feeling my partner has been cheating.

[Chiching]

Hello everyone,
I am new to the forum and the Iching. I was hoping for some guidance on a reading I received today. Thank you in advance for any replies!
As the title suggests my gut has been telling me my long-distance girlfriend has started a new romance with someone she met recently. They were at a work event with a small number of clients and she commented afterwards that she got on very well with these clients talking into the wee hours and that he opened up to her a lot. I noticed some small things which to me indicated an effort on her part to impress this guy before they met and her behaviour and communication towards me has changed since. This does seem quite clear that something occurred but I did not want to jump to conclusions so I asked the oracle for its input today. I asked the same question twice but I included their names in the first question and then removed them so I could ask you, good folks, for advice on the readings.
The question was

Please comment on whether a romance between my girlfriend and the guy she met recently is taking place.​

The first reading with the names included was​

Your reading resulted in the following hexagrams:

51​

Hexagram 51, Shock​

Key Questions​

What must change?
What will continue?

Oracle​

'Shock, creating success.
Shock comes, fear and terror.
Laughing words, shrieking and yelling.
Shock spreads fear for a hundred miles.
Someone does not lose the sacred ladle and libation.'

Shock is something that stirs, rouses and shakes you up – like an earthquake, or a violent thunderstorm. In ancient China, Heaven spoke through thunder, and this was an omen that the human world was to be brought back into harmony. Abruptly, your world is not working as you expect; the solid ground shifts under your feet, security slips away and mental constructs shatter; living reality has spoken.

Shock spreads out in waves of contagious fear and hysteria. Suddenly everyone is all too closely in touch with their own emotions – and with everyone else's – and all are reacting to one another. It is a time to hold on to what you most value, and take on responsibility for keeping it safe through the upheaval, like the priest who is charged with safeguarding the temple and altars from the past, for the future. Consider what remains constant and true when everything else is in turmoil. This doesn't necessarily mean resisting the shock itself, so much as keeping a still point in the midst of the tumult of reactions to it. Then you never lose your connection with the creative power that speaks through the storms.

Image​

'Rolling thunder: Shock.
A noble one in fear and dread sets things in order and is watchful.'

Sequence​

Shock follows from Hexagram 50, the Vessel:
'In the charge of the sacred vessel, none equals the eldest son, and so Shock follows. Shock means new beginnings.'

Pair​

Shock forms a pair with Hexagram 52, Stilling:
'Shock begins; Stilling stops.'

The second reading with the names removed was​

​

Your reading resulted in the following hexagrams:

60​		54​
	changing to

Hexagram 60, Measuring​

Key Questions​

What limits apply here?
What agreements are at work?
Does everyone understand them and find them palatable? Do you?

Oracle​

'Measuring, creating success.
Bitter measures do not allow for constancy.'

Things need to be articulated to make them more manageable, easier to take in and work with. Such measures, when they grow organically, reflect the natural rhythms of life and allow a fuller participation in its flow. Progress is made in small increments.

Individuals with measure live sustainably and flourish; groups who share measures and standards, who speak the same language, can reach agreement and build trust. But if anyone reacts to the measures as they would to a bitter taste – if they find them too hard to swallow – then they are not sustainable. This isn't a matter of tradition, principle or logic, but of human experience.

Image​

'Above the lake is the stream: Measuring.
A noble one works out and reckons the measures,
Reflecting on character in action.'

Sequence​

Measuring follows from Hexagram 59, Dispersing.
'Things cannot end with spreading out, and so Measuring follows.'

Changing Lines​

Line 4​

'Peaceful measures.
Creating success.'

Line 5​

'Sweet measures, good fortune.
Going on brings honour.'

Hexagram 54, the Marrying Maiden​

Key Questions​

How can you grow into this situation?
What does it mean to you to come second?
How sustainable is this?

Oracle​

'The marrying maiden. To set out to bring order: pitfall.
No direction is fruitful.'

A young girl, not yet a woman, comes home to her new husband's house. A nobleman of old China would marry his 'first wife' with great ceremony. She would go to her new home accompanied by a group of female relatives who became 'second wives'. These are the 'marrying maidens': they are present simply to make relationships easier and have no status of their own. As a marrying maiden, you have accepted a relationship where you come second. You are only here to play a supporting role; it would be disastrous to try to shape the situation to fit your own needs. You are too junior, not yet ready to exert influence; there is no point in your setting intentions or making plans. All you can do is to feel your way, adapt, and find your place, without originating any action or having any agenda of your own.

Image​

'Above the lake, there is thunder: the Marrying Maiden.
A noble one through ever-flowing endings
Knows what wears out.'

Sequence​

The Marrying Maiden follows from Hexagram 53, Gradual Progress:

'Making progress must mean a time to come home, and so the Marrying Maiden follows

To me both of these readings indicate that my gut is correct and my girlfriend is in fact cheating on me at least emotionally.
The first reading indicates to me that it may already have been more than just emotionally, perhaps even physically on the night in question as that does shock me.
The second reading confuses me a bit but changing to the marrying maiden with the indication I am only around in a supportive role as we are long distance and only reconnected during the covid era.
It does seem quiet clear but I would love any more insight you kind folks might offer on these readings.
I love her and only want what's best for her.
Thank you for your help!

 

[diamant]

Hi @Chiching ,

whether a romance between my girlfriend and the guy she met recently is taking place (with names)
51 uc / unchanging
There's a spark between them, they feel highly charged.

whether a romance between my girlfriend and the guy she met recently is taking place (without names)
60.4.5 > 54
Line 60.4 shows that she also wants to continue with you because it's 'prosperous'. Line 60.5 shows that perhaps the deed itself hasn't happened yet. Unfortunately resulting 54 shows a love triangle, so she intends to become his mistress, even if in a limited way.

It's quite remarkable how some people actually do give clues to their partner when this happens. It's as if they're saying, 'I have strong urges towards someone else, do you mind?'. How did you react when she told you about it?

 

[Chiching]

Hello Diamant.
I thought as much!
I actually complimented her on her ability to get people to open up and took a step back to see how things unfolded. My feeling was the same. That a spark was there but perhaps not the deed itself.
It really is very interesting indeed when people give these clues. Well I have no interest in being in a love triangle so time to cut my losses unfortunately.
Thank you for your insight Diamant

 

[diamant]

Maybe give her one chance before completely cutting your losses? How about you try to tell her that this is not acceptable to you, and see what she says?

 

[psychonaut613]

I went through alot of situations in the past where I now look back and realize my gut was right and they were cheating, it's my experience that a girl won't tell you she's getting along well with someone she met if she's values things with you so as not to worry you, sometimes it felt like I could see what was happening before she was fully aware of it.

Perhaps 51 shock refers to your gut feeling (it really does kind of feel like a small lightning bolt in your belly doesn't it?) And 60 to 54 well 54 means you are possibly in a secondary position as far as having a relationship goes