Soul mate question..

[sibyleyes]

Oh boy, so I guess this is where I spill my guts...

The story begins with me contacting a man who I felt immediately drawn to. I rarely do this online, mostly just using the web to keep in contact with friends I know personally but something just compelled me!

This was right around the highly charged time of the Aquarius new moon solar eclipse of Jan 26th 2009. There was something that drew me to him and the chain of synchronicity that manifested during the time building to the Leo full moon lunar eclipse on Feb 9th, 2009 was just too intense. The only way I can describe it is meeting your anima/animus in a lucid dream. Our astrological signs were also in perfect harmony with complementary sun signs(Aries/Libra) and matching ascendants/descendants(both in Leo/Aquarius) as well as my moon being in the same sign&degree as his descendant, all signs pointing to a VERY compatible match(I know the info because it was posted on his profile and me being an astrology junky I picked it up right away).

We had SOOO much in common, a soul link really which is rare for me because I am so eccentric. Then when he told me of his screenplay that dealt with synchronicity, Carl Jung archetypes and a man who met his soul mate that manifested only in his dreams, I felt he was speaking to me because it was something I had been musing over for a while. I guess I've been waiting for him..

So to move things along, he felt the same about me, joking that we should get married, he even had the same last name as the one I adopted and have been planning to legally change to, convenient eh?

The buildup culminated finally on the full moon lunar eclipse when he made the first move and asked to meet me. But as the saying goes, life is not always a smooth ride and obstacles stood in the way of this..for me that is. The thing is I've just recently emerged from an exhaustive creative depression and was NOT ready to meet him. I had too many lose ends that needed to be tied up, was on financially shaky ground after being laid off and could not take the plunge just yet..sooo what I did is I told him I was away and would love to meet as soon as I came back. I did not name a particular date so it was very vague and open ended.


Ok, so less than two weeks pass by and he disappears! He deleted his account without a word after posting a public update about moving to another state. During this time I also had an unfamiliar male voice whisper my name into my ear at night, quite strange..The only explanation I could come up with is that he thought I had rejected him by not getting back to him in regards to setting a time? That I kind of stood him up in a way? I do know that I can appear aloof and intimidating to men but this seemed rather rash..

I cast the I Ching after that asking what was up and got hex 61 changing to hex 6. One of the changing lines was 4 which states:

"Six in the fourth place means:
The moon nearly at the full.
The team horse goes astray.
No blame.

To intensify the power of inner truth, a man must always turn to his superior, from whom he can receive enlightenment as the moon receives light from the sun. However, this requires a certain humility, like that of the moon when it is not yet quite full. At the moment when the moon becomes full and stands directly opposite the sun, it begins to wane. Just as on the one hand we must be humble and reverent when face to face with the source of enlightenment, so likewise must we on the other renounce factionalism among men. Only by pursuing one’s course like a horse that goes straight ahead without looking sideways at its mate, can one retain the inner freedom that helps one onward."

Woah, this seemed right on. So I asked the burning question; is he my soul mate? I got hex 11 changing to 55! Two of my favorite hexagrams which always invoke beautiful imagery in my mind.

I firmly believe in destiny and the idea that if you love something, let it go and if it comes back, it's meant to be so I felt at peace releasing him but not until I sent him a message at his other account asking why he ran away. He still has not read or replied.. I am trying to remain detached and wait it out when we are both ready or rather when I am ready. It's almost as if he unconsciously is giving me time to work through my issues right now..I am making swift progress, beginning to emerge from my dark cocoon and regaining balance in my life. I've returned to my daily mediation/yoga practice, have been feeling very positive and am finally inspired to create art again!

But in spite of all these beautiful changes fueling my recovery, there is a dark empty corner of melancholy stemming from the concern that I might have let him go..because connections like this are rare. So once again I asked the I Ching about us, if we are meant to be together eventually and got hexagram 29 unchanging...

If someone can please help me understand what this all means and offer some wise advice, I would be ever grateful.

Thank you!


Love & Light,

Sibyl

 

[sophie]

As I have found out myself, soul mate relationships are both the most beautiful and the most challenging around. They are NOT a romantic delight (though they can be delightful at time), and they always throw us into our deepest issues - in this case, both yours AND HIS. It's also important to realise that - assuming you accept the reality of multiple lives - they don't always manifest in every lifetime. But they are the ultimate learning/growing relationships - we become more of ourselves, the best of ourselves - through them, and together we are better than the sum of our parts. Bear all this in mind when looking at your answer.

Now for your reading: 11 changing to 55 - I'm assuming you got 11, 2.4 ? While 11 suggests that this is a great and meaningful relationship in which the balance is perfect, there are 2 changing lines to disturb the harmony. I'm reading the lines themselves more as practical advice for you - what to do to restore the beautiful harmony?

Second Nine says:

Embracing great rivers
Fighting a tiger with bare hands.
Crossing a river with bare feet.
Abandon not the remote;
Cliques dissolve
Obtain esteem by walking the central path.

It sound like time to gird your loins and get active in finding this man! Not going over-the-top ("obtain esteem by walking the central path"), but not balking at difficulties, including any tigerish or remote behaviour he might put up . To paraphrase Carol Anthony's wonderful book on intimate love relationships Love, an Inner Connection - based on the principles of the I Ching - don't be fooled by the charades the Beloved's ego goes through (and your own ego!) - learn to see the essential self behind the charades, and relate from your essential self, which is humble, patient and undemanding. I highly recommend that book, btw.

Fourth Six says:

Fluttering, fluttering.
Not affluent
With your neighbours,
No admonishing,
Be sincere and truthful.

That's where you will be challenged to be receptive to him when you finally find him again, and not admonish him: be open to him, be kind, show your sincerity, and be truthful about yourself; don't try and impress him, however, or convince him that this is a soulmate relationship. Just be natural.

Your hexagram changes to 55, Abundance: this suggests both greatness and the kind of cycles that soulmate relationships (and indeed, all relationships!) go through. The sun cannot always be at noon, after all. This also suggests an opportunity to resolve issues between you, with strength of character and justice - you might have to be tough, or he might be.

I wish you luck and love :bows:

 

[sibyleyes]

Thank you Sophia for your wisdom

That was some very encouraging and practical advice but what do you mean to "go after this man"? I have already tried to contact him so are you saying I should try again at the risk of seeming needy?

While I have never been the type of female that chases a man(I am too aloof and independent at times), I WILL indeed try my best to reach him. I shall make another sincere attempt to contact him in a little while and after that I must let go because the ball is in his court.

So I guess I am just going to be patient, busy myself and trust that all will work out in the end. After all, hexagram 11 is all about harmony and going with the flow right?

Also, this reminds me once again of hex 61.4 where one of the horses splits from its pair while running towards the full moon. I remember one of the interpretations for the line said that there is "no blame' for the horse shall come back to its own in time..

 

[sophie]

Hello Sibyl

I don't think I meant "go after this man" in a needy or greedy way - rather I interpreted 11.2 as advice for you to actively try and find him, no matter the difficulties, while remaining moderate, patient and at ease in yourself ("obtain esteem by walking the central path"): this should ensure you would never appear needy. It's your call, of course - this was just my interpretation of the line.

I also think that line in your situation refers to the difficulties more generally encountered in soulmate relationships - combined with the advice to keep going when things do get rough.

11 is indeed about harmony, but with two changing lines, we see that the harmony is disturbed: and the lines act as advice as to how to restore that harmony.

Good luck! I hope the other horse returns