Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
Hello hello, if anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them! Many thanksIt's been many years since I posted here and received your good advices. In that time I married and now have a child. This last year I have been going through mediation with my husband. We were on the verge of divorce but pulled back at the last minute because having done mediation and therapy and my having read innumerable books our communication has improved to the extent that I wonder if it's possible to work together to remove our most difficult communication patterns.
We have not committed to resuming romance but to raising our child together. We sleep in separate beds and our communication can sometimes be great, sometimes enjoyable, sometimes okay and then sometimes mind numbingly grinding. When grinding it takes up hours and all my communication training feels utterly futile. There's a sense of grinding the gears in general. I don't imagine we will miraculously rekindle our spark as we have not managed to fill the spaces in between us with soothing acceptance and love. So I asked the iching:
Should I stay living here together: 36.3 > 24
"Nine in the third place means:
Darkening of the light during the hunt in the south.
Their great leader is captured.
One must not expect perseverance too soon. It seems as if chance were at work. While the strong, loyal man is striving eagerly and in good faith to create order, he meets the ringleader of the disorder, as if by accident, and seizes him. Thus victory is achieved. But in abolishing abuses one must not be too hasty. This would turn out badly because the abuses have been in existence so long."
Indeed, we are 'returning' to our marriage. And while capture of the leader of disorder sounds great, I was rather hoping that with all this effort we could get on with encouraging one another and focusing on efficiently managing our lives (rather than wasting years grinding each other down). Judging by the line it may then take awhile.
Should I go: 51.5 > 17
"Six in the fifth place means:
Shock goes hither and thither.
Danger.
However, nothing at all is lost.
Yet there are things to be done.
This is a case not of a single shock but of repeated shocks with no breathing space between. Nonetheless, the shock causes no loss, because one takes care to stay in the center of movement and in this way to be spared the fate of being helplessly tossed hither and thither."
This seems to suggest precisely what I feel about moving out (and on) but offers no real judgement. It just suggests that I am not at all phased because I move with the movement. It feels like aikido or tai chi, moving with the forces and staying balanced. It sounds a lot more like it allows me to exist as myself.
I welcome thoughts, experiences and suggestions. Thank you for having me in your wonderful community.
*bows*
This would suggest staying for the sake of obligation may not be the most ideal route. Blofeld writes:Just because you know why something is wrong doesn't necessarily mean you have the means to heal it.
Reaffirms the earlier point."Persistence amounting to madness should be avoided."
The situation sounds sad and stressful, really sorry you're going through this.
Should I stay living here together
36.3 > 24
If you stay, you'll discover eventually what the real problem is.
Should I go
51.5 > 17
If you go, shocks will continue to happen in your life.
I wonder if that will be because you still won't know the real problem.
this!Hello,
Should I stay living here together: 36.3 > 24
An afflicted constancy isn't possible; so if you want to live together, you should work on solving the problems rather than going on like this
Should I go: 51.5 > 17
Leaving will be a shock, probably leading to further shocks. Your intention won't be lost, though.
What is the best course of action ... 27.4
To chase your desires "shamelessly" as they say. Deep in your heart, do you want to save your family? Do you want to leave? Go after what you want.
Good luck!
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).