Stayin marriage or leave/new readings

[cnmn]

I took the advice recommended and I cast another reading for what if I stay in this 25 year marriage. Yesterday I had a frank talk with my husband and told him I had to be me...that I didn't believe in his type of religious observance and he had to respect that. He saw I was very serious and made a very serious commitment to me privately last night after taking hours to think about it and said he would respect me in this regard...I threw an Iching and came up with Hexagram 34Ta Chuang,3rd line undivided,5th line divided changing to Hexagram Tui...My husband asked me not to be adamant about our religious differences in front of our son and (who is severely bipolar, dyslexic and fragile emotionally at times) and I agreed...I think I see hints of this in the 3rd line undivided...of Hexagram 34. Impressions??? Would so appreciate at this last juncture....
Thank you so much!!!

 

[meng]

Impressions?

My impression is that since your husband is willing and able to compromise and to respect your right to your own beliefs, and that the concessions he asks for seem reasonable, and probably most healthy for your son, there's no point in continuing to force the matter further at this time.

My impression is that the Yi recommends finding things you can enjoy doing together. My impression is that those things include sexual intimacy between you again. You might remind him, lovingly, meaning without out it sounding like a command or a complaint, that "marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled" - Hbr 13.4. That means, according to his religion, that all is cool in bed between husband and wife. No need for guilt, shame or inhibition. Have fun again. There's more than one way to see God.

 

[gene]

I agree with Meng and I get the feeling one or both of you is pushing too hard. Once you let that attitude go, there will be more peace and joy in the family. Whether religious discussion is appropriate in front of your son, I don't know, but an aggressive attitude might be very bothersome. Hopefully, the two of you can discuss this civily without anyone getting too pushy.

Gene

 

[tigerintheboat]

Peace and Joy

He saw I was very serious and made a very serious commitment to me privately last night after taking hours to think about it and said he would respect me in this regard...I threw an Iching and came up with Hexagram 34Ta Chuang,3rd line undivided,5th line divided changing to Hexagram Tui...My husband asked me not to be adamant about our religious differences in front of our son and (who is severely bipolar, dyslexic and fragile emotionally at times) and I agreed...I think I see hints of this in the 3rd line undivided...of Hexagram 34.

Yes, I don't know precisely what the question was but Line 3 has to do with using too much power and force and getting entangled...this is what the "small person" does. A superior man uses a net...you catch things in a net, but you do it with less force.

Line 5, from the WikiWing below, the commentary on the zhi gua.

Great Vigour’s Decision. A matter of declaring one’s identity, maybe deciding what is and isn’t essential.

You are finding you have power here, and with that power you can get entangled...you need to decide on the importance of items. Each one you secure with your power will take away some of your force. And some of them will get you entangled in the brush.

Individual things that seem important sometimes just represent other larger emotional needs, so pick carefully about what you insist on.

I think your relating hexagram is H58. That indicates to me that you can find the proper mix of firm and yielding to have peace and joy.

Tiger

 

[cnmn]

Extremely helpful responses...including the bedroom again...I had an awakening where I did realize I had power in this relationship I wasn't using. Again...I did become "entangled" after "declaring my identity" from line 5...How amazingly accurate that reading is!!I am reading Hex #58 to get more clarity very much appreciated all the responses...and how right on they each were.. "A superior man uses a net" what clear and effective imagery for me to remember... Appreciated all three comments very very much, and feel I have had some expert help in navigating these few last very difficult junctures... Peace!..CNMN

 

[cnmn]

UPdate on this..My son is now in graduate school, and we have divorced. My son was misdiagnosed and actually actually is severe OCD not learning disabled . I have relocated to Alabama, living near my sister and am much happier. Thank you for your help though..Sometimes things don't work out. My husband traveled for his job and had an affair..Oh well..