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Straight Talk with Ex: Hexagram 11 Unchanging

arabella

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I had explained on a previous casting a few days ago that my Ex-spouse has announced he will be moving from our former home, which is owned by me and which he lived in nearly free of charge since our divorce some years ago. His part of the divorce agreement was that he would keep the house in saleable condition until it sold; he has failed to do that. He also turned down the one possible sale of the property without telling me [it is my house] and has kept the place so poorly his own daughter declared it a "pig stye" last year -- meanwhile I've been reducing and reducing the price in keeping with his slovenliness.

Now he is leaving, supported by his two eldest children who will move him and set him up in a flat. And he has declared that he will furnish his flat from the contents of the house, which were awarded to me in our divorce -- since they were either in my home before we married, purchased by me, or belongings of my children.

I have just written a strong letter to him putting him on notice that he is already in default of his agreement to keep the house properly and if he further declares he signed in bad faith and is taking contents not belonging to him, then I will inform the court of his self-proclaimed duplicity when we divorced. Further, I will claim far more of the property proceeds in compensation for his failures to keep up the house, and for scuppering my only offer of a sale.

This letter also puts him on notice that the agreement he signed is valid under EU law in any of its States, where he lives now and where he is moving. As he is moving back to the UK with these belongings I could readily demand that anything he took unlawfully be returned to me at his expense.

I asked the Yi: What is the effect of sending this letter to him?

Reply: Hexagram 11 unchanging.

I take that as an indication that this would swiftly bring my Ex's bullying nonsense and proposed theft to a quick and proper end and return my existence to a state of relative peace and happiness. Any other possible interpretations you may know of? :hug:
 

precision grace

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so sorry to hear about your troubles arabella, so first of all :hugs:

secondly, will you be my lawyer? heh

thirdly, an unchanging 11 from the power of war i ching says this:
"This is a good general purpose omen. It does not necessarily portend great riches or exciting times, but merely the protection of civilized works and ideas from widespread violence and systemic coercion."
http://www.pathfinder.3rdmilieux.com/i-ching-tao-of-power-art-of-war-hexagram-11-civilization.html

I very much hope you manage to protect your property and your peace of mind and it all works out for you. :hug:
 
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Sorry to hear that as well, Arabella:hug::hug::hug:. And after you helped him out all that time... Unbelievable! It sounds like that put him in his place to me though! Hexagram 11 sure sounds like what you want there. Certainly sounds like he will try to be more peaceful in the future:).
 

Trojina

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Hexagram 11 isn't about peace as in everything being peaceful . It can be anything but..!.Its another hexagram where the title is misleading. Hilary calls it 'Flow' as in where in 12 all is 'stopped' or not interactng in 11 everything is moving along...IN A BIG WAY. That is it is a flow beyond and above you

I think 11 unchanging is just advice to keep your eye on the bigger picture here. The whole event is so much more than who has the furniture....the fact is hes moving on...its flowing, theres movement, its good..its definately not always peaceful it can be tumultuous. A big moving connecting flow of energy in the situation, that can sweep you along with it. So it just says things are moving along big time. Perhaps you don't need to worry too much

In terms of the question of the effect of your letter...its just one little thing in the midst of a much larger movement/event

IOW energetically this is a much bigger development than it might appear. Flow being a great influx of moving energy going where its meant to go.....carries the furniture quite easily along with it
 
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arabella

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Hexagram 11 isn't about peace as in everything being peaceful . It can be anything but..!.Its another hexagram where the title is misleading. Hilary calls it 'Flow' as in where in 12 all is 'stopped' or not interactng in 11 everything is moving along...IN A BIG WAY. That is it is a flow beyond and above you

I think 11 unchanging is just advice to keep your eye on the bigger picture here. The whole event is so much more than who has the furniture....the fact is hes moving on...its flowing, theres movement, its good..its definately not always peaceful it can be tumultuous. A big moving connecting flow of energy in the situation, that can sweep you along with it. So it just says things are moving along big time. Perhaps you don't need to worry too much

In terms of the question of the effect of your letter...its just one little thing in the midst of a much larger movement/event

IOW energetically this is a much bigger development than it might appear. Flow being a great influx of moving energy going where its meant to go.....carries the furniture quite easily along with it

Hi T., yes, I'm focusing my attention on the underlined, as you say. I don't want to suppress any of the forward motion -- on the other hand it has to happen in the right way and with consequences, not only and always to me and my bank account -- but consequences to him as well. He has successfully avoided doing much for three years and benefited at my expense. And, if he leave the property in poor condition, then I am truly lost. My letter puts him on notice that he is in default of our agreements and threatening further defaults and that I can and will take him to court if he doesn't immediately straighten up and finish this properly. He may be angry, he may be shocked -- probably both. But I feel that I must take a stand before it's entirely too late and I'm left, once again, to pick up all the pieces and try to work with them.

The other feature that has arisen is that my children are very angry -- partly on my behalf, but also because this man threatens them and their inheritance from me. So we have this common purpose now -- to tell him what he may and may not do and draw a line under his assumption that he can run roughshod over all of us.

My problem is that I have been too kind and not attentive enough in bringing him to account on a regular basis, ever since I met him. It's partly therapeutic for me that I stop this and never do it again with anyone. Especially not a man who doesn't deserve that treatment and only takes advantage because he thinks that I am "soft."
 
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Trojina

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well your action seems to be 'in the flow' :D
 

gato

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a shot in the dark here, but if it's unchanging nothing will change
 

arabella

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a shot in the dark here, but if it's unchanging nothing will change

It is said from time to time on Clarity that any hexagram "unchanging" reverses the meaning of the hexagram. I've heard that several times now. What is the support for this though? Where does this idea come from? Hilary, LiSe, Sparhawk,T, Bradford, Pocossin, Charly, Sooo? -- other heavy hitters I haven't thought to mention -- who is out there today? I'd like to be sure before I send this letter that it's worth sticking my neck out!

For instance, what is Hexagram 52 unchanging then? Everything is moving? And why would that be?
 
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gato

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if you feel the need to send it, then by all means send it- disregard any reading and do what you feel. but wouldn't be simpler if you just pick up the phone and ask him " what are you planning to take from MY house?" ( and remember to not agree on everything )
 
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arabella

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if you feel the need to send it, then by all means send it- disregard any reading and do what you feel. but wouldn't be simpler if you just pick up the phone and ask him " what are you planning to take from MY house?"

It seems a bit moot to do that when he called me in an angry frame of mind -- out of the blue -- and announced that he signed our divorce document thinking it was invalid and plans to take whatever he pleases with him after living virtually for free, based upon an agreement that he would do certain things he hasn't done.

If he were a sane rational person with any moral fibre, what you are saying would be logical. But he isn't -- and this is the crux of the entire problem.

Thanks Gato for pitching in on this. Everything said does help to clarify matters. :hug:

Beyond this, it's a good sample question for interpreting the Yi because I eventually will send the letter, and there will be a measurable outcome that i can compare against interpretations of 11 unchanging. So it's a useful exercise anyway. But now I'm wondering about the "unchanging" hexagram assumption, because I don't know why an unchanging casting is thought by some to reverse a meaning?
 
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cris

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Coincidentally, earlier today I was searching the blog to find enlightenment about unchanging hexagrams, and came across this:
http://onlineclarity.co.uk/answers/2010/03/17/unchanging-hexagrams-and-patterns-of-change/

My inquiry arises from the relationship between primary and secondary hexes. If there's no relating hex, what should we conclude? The article above provides an interpretation which is somewhat intriguing.

I had not heard of the reverse meaning theory before and would be curious to know more. So will be looking forward to replies to this thread...
 

Trojina

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It is said from time to time on Clarity that any hexagram "unchanging" reverses the meaning of the hexagram. I've heard that several times now. What is the support for this though? Where does this idea come from? Hilary, LiSe, Sparhawk,T, Bradford, Pocossin, Charly, Sooo? -- other heavy hitters I haven't thought to mention -- who is out there today? I'd like to be sure before I send this letter that it's worth sticking my neck out!

For instance, what is Hexagram 52 unchanging then? Everything is moving? And why would that be?

Not qualifying as a 'heavy hitter' whatever that is...lol but I don't think the UC hex is the exact opposite of itself...


Theres loads of threads here about unchanging hexagrams. I wish there was a sticky on it..

Some people think the UC hexagram asks you a question....as in this is what there is...what are you going to do with it ? No changing lines may mean you can't sort of get a direct handle on it...perhaps its hard to relate subjectively to it .Hilary has done several blog pots on UC hexagrams I think and she has said it can be asking you a question. Other times I think its just quite an emphatic statement about how the situation is. IOW it can show a situation that stands as it is, that you can do nothing much about. It can be either of these things and more. Theres no hard rule to follow., its really down to your intuition


I don't think the UC hexagram reverses its meaning...otherwise you'd get a hexagram with that meaning wouldn't you...but it can mean you can't access it or its out of your control.

I feel 11 unchanging is pretty much a forward movement beyond your control....but your first personal interpretation seems valid to me too

52 unchanging can't mean 'everything is moving' but its more usually a pretty emphatic statement to be still/not moving which could mean you are moving alot...


You cannot send the letter or not on the basis of replies here now can you. You know no one has the answer for you....its not like the answer is 'out there' But don't you need to explore what is causing you to hesitate ? Whats against sending the letter ? There must be something or you would have just sent it.


Its hard for an outsider to really get it. You obviously have very strong negative feelings for him. What are you going to do with the furniture if he doesn't take it...are you going to put it all in your house...will their be room... I dunno I kind of feel you don't need the I Ching here, you know him...something holds you back from sending the letter...so how could anyone heres understanding of 11 make you send or not send it.
 

arabella

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Not qualifying as a 'heavy hitter' whatever that is...lol but I don't think the UC hex is the exact opposite of itself...


Theres loads of threads here about unchanging hexagrams. I wish there was a sticky on it..

Some people think the UC hexagram asks you a question....as in this is what there is...what are you going to do with it ? No changing lines may mean you can't sort of get a direct handle on it...perhaps its hard to relate subjectively to it .Hilary has done several blog pots on UC hexagrams I think and she has said it can be asking you a question. Other times I think its just quite an emphatic statement about how the situation is. IOW it can show a situation that stands as it is, that you can do nothing much about. It can be either of these things and more. Theres no hard rule to follow., its really down to your intuition


I don't think the UC hexagram reverses its meaning...otherwise you'd get a hexagram with that meaning wouldn't you...but it can mean you can't access it or its out of your control.

I feel 11 unchanging is pretty much a forward movement beyond your control....but your first personal interpretation seems valid to me too

52 unchanging can't mean 'everything is moving' but its more usually a pretty emphatic statement to be still/not moving which could mean you are moving alot...


You cannot send the letter or not on the basis of replies here now can you. You know no one has the answer for you....its not like the answer is 'out there' But don't you need to explore what is causing you to hesitate ? Whats against sending the letter ? There must be something or you would have just sent it.


Its hard for an outsider to really get it. You obviously have very strong negative feelings for him. What are you going to do with the furniture if he doesn't take it...are you going to put it all in your house...will their be room... I dunno I kind of feel you don't need the I Ching here, you know him...something holds you back from sending the letter...so how could anyone heres understanding of 11 make you send or not send it.

You're right, I can't do anything based on what is said here. My advice from the others involved says to send the letter and "devil take the hindmost." The fear is that he is somewhat crazy and likely to do anything. Because of him the house hasn't sold and the value has fallen. He turned away the only viable sale on my behalf without my consent. I have lost so much because of his ignorance and penury. He hasn't kept any of the bargain he made and now he is having a laugh at the British legal system saying nobody can stop him. The letter is to make it clear he should do his part and that the legal system will catch up with him when he moves back to England in February if he doesn't.

The letter I have drafted should put him in his place for the moment at least. What I want is for him to leave the property in saleable condition since I can't run straight over there and fix it if he doesn't. And I don't want him to wholesale steal from me. I believe [hope] this letter will achieve that.

Alternatively, he will continue on the crazed tangent he took up this week and remain out of control. I guess -- either way -- I really lose nothing I haven't already lost?
 

arabella

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Letter is sent and I feel very relieved about it. It was very helpful to discuss on here the reasons why i was hesitating. I hesitate because I'm not essentially a combative person. Effusive, energetic, passionate, intense -- yes, all of those -- but not spoiling for a fight. And this could bring a hell of a battle. The thing is, this guy is already winding up for conflict, so better if I put the whole situation in perspective and make it clear that I can't be pushed or I will bring the British legal system down on his head.

I don't relish any of it. But I can't avoid it. So better to move ahead and take a stand. The stand i have taken is fair, logical and legal and works to his benefit as well -- if he has the intelligence to realise it.

In any case, I asked the result of sending this final draft of the letter: hexagram 22 unchanging.

What's with this unchanging trend?? Must be significant, but I don't know why. I'm not so encouraged by hexagram 22 as by hexagram 11. I have read that it was Confucius' least favorite hexagram, presumably because he felt it nebulous or lacking in some way.

Any thoughts on hexagram 22 unchanging in relation to this?

BTW T, a "heavy hitter" is a sports term meaning somebody you can generally count on to score -- if anybody is able to. XO, Arabella.
 
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bamboo

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In the Sorrell's book, they say Confucious was irritated by hex 22 because he felt it told him he was taking himself too seriously. they saw the hexagram as a call to lighten up.
Not saying that is applicable to you, but in your reading, unchanging could possibly mean that your ex will not take your letter too seriously. Hex 22 is a little easier to understand when it is unchanging...iow I feel it is suggesting that the issue is cosmetic. Your ex could imagine that your words are just a "show" of power, not substantially backed up.

all this would make me feel that some real legal action is called for, so he knows you mean business. If I am correct about the reading, then the letter won't have real meaning until he gets a notice from the courts. 22 reflects what you said about him having a laugh at the system and his obligations. Do you think maybe he suspects your hands are tied, and/or that you won't follow through?
 

arabella

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In the Sorrell's book, they say Confucious was irritated by hex 22 because he felt it told him he was taking himself too seriously. they saw the hexagram as a call to lighten up.
Not saying that is applicable to you, but in your reading, unchanging could possibly mean that your ex will not take your letter too seriously. Hex 22 is a little easier to understand when it is unchanging...iow I feel it is suggesting that the issue is cosmetic. Your ex could imagine that your words are just a "show" of power, not substantially backed up.

all this would make me feel that some real legal action is called for, so he knows you mean business. If I am correct about the reading, then the letter won't have real meaning until he gets a notice from the courts. 22 reflects what you said about him having a laugh at the system and his obligations. Do you think maybe he suspects your hands are tied, and/or that you won't follow through?

That's possible, although he realises that once I'm in the fight, i don't give up. He won't be happy to think that I'm on his case as he knows I've taken my complaints of "unfairness" all the way to the British Parliament -- and won. However, there is another "cosmetic" feature to this story. And that is, that the reason the house hasn't sold is that he didn't keep up the appearance -- first not of any of the property and in recent months not of the outside gardens, driveway, entrance. So it makes a poor appearance to buyers and they get an instantly bad impression that is hard to change, although the photos of the interior now are quite good. The exterior doesn't look like the portfolio photos anymore and the agents are complaining. So, one additional cosmetic thing the Yi might highlight, I suppose. My primary demand of him is that he fix the exterior appearance immediately or I refuse to sign for a lowered price that will sell the property more quickly. So that is the main point of the letter that I hope to put across, along with telling him he can't walk off with anything not agreed to or I will prosecute him. I think he will believe that because he will be in reasonable proximity when he moves back here to take a sheriff to his door.
 
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chingching

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I haven't come across anyone at clarity who has backed up the unchanging hex reversing the energy with anything substantial. I believe the idea comes from a work though, but one I haven;t read, would it be RL Wing's workbook, I believe his is the only work in print that says anything about unchanging hex's, but I have not read his books.
 

chingching

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Arabella, I just found an old reading of mine for 11uc in my diary, it was about a gyrotonics teacher who shared the space I was working in and we just didnt get along, misinterpretations, rubbing each other up the wrong way and then one day I dreaded going to the studio, seeing her there and being uncomfortable and so i asked what will happen today with ***, and received 11 uc and that day we sat and chatted and did workouts together and there was no resistant feeling, no anxiety, no competition the best word really to describe it was flow. And after that day the studio underwent changes and the owner of that studio left the building and *** moved into a new space. And I went to another studio altogether.

Sometimes the uc readings draws me to read all the lines the image the judgement the trigram, to really drink in the whole thing, i'll read all the translations I have available. And then other times I see it as yi saying something really simple, as simple as the title sometimes, even being the one of the translation you first choose.
 
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arabella

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Arabella, I just found an old reading of mine for 11uc in my diary, it was about a gyrotonics teacher who shared the space I was working in and we just didnt get along, misinterpretations, rubbing each other up the wrong way and then one day I dreaded going to the studio, seeing her there and being uncomfortable and so i asked what will happen today with ***, and received 11 uc and that day we sat and chatted and did workouts together and there was no resistant feeling, no anxiety, no competition the best word really to describe it was flow. And after that day the studio underwent changes and the owner of that studio left the building and *** moved into a new space. And I went to another studio altogether.

Sometimes the uc readings draws me to read all the lines the image the judgement the trigram, to really drink in the whole thing, i'll read all the translations I have available. And then other times I see it as yi saying something really simple, as simple as the title sometimes, even being the one of the translation you first choose.

If this situation followed suit and really did flow with out all the characteristic conflict that would be truly amazing. Live and Hope! :)
 

bamboo

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r l wing..I have his book somewhere in my other office....and he definitely does not say the unchanging hex reverses the meaning.....for instance, I do remember his take on hex 19 unchanging which is that there is a very auspicious "perpetual spring in regards to your question"...I remember that because I found hex 19 unchanging to be very different from that in my own readings....I find it to be not an especially promising omen when unchanging. Maybe a perpetual spring in that it never gets off the ground at all! But I recall that Wing felt it was promising. I think Wing tends to describe the unchanging hexagrams as a doubly emphasized meaning of the actual hexagram. Because of my own experiences with unchanging hexagrams, I tended to think Wing was just guessing and I didn't place much stock in his take on them.
 

bamboo

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R L Wing is a woman! ha, never knew that!
 
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riurik

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let me see if i get it right

You had a draft, and for that draft you got 11. After that you posted, read some other's ideas, you got more emotional to the issue, finally you wrote a final draft and for that final draft you got 22.

Am I right?

It seems like the final draft was more "controversial/fighting" than the original one.

Let me explain myself. For the original one, the effect would be peace/comunication. Good, the effect is that the conflict is solved. But with the final drafting, there is no peace anymore but "grace": good for clearing up affairs but not for deciding controversial issues.

If the issue is "small" (i.e. just a misunderstanding) the letter would solve it. But if there is a real controversy (and it seems there is) the letter wont decide/solve it.

So... from the original to the final draft something changed that prevent a peaceful solution.

Hope you can solve this soon.
 

arabella

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let me see if i get it right

You had a draft, and for that draft you got 11. After that you posted, read some other's ideas, you got more emotional to the issue, finally you wrote a final draft and for that final draft you got 22.

Am I right?

It seems like the final draft was more "controversial/fighting" than the original one.

Let me explain myself. For the original one, the effect would be peace/comunication. Good, the effect is that the conflict is solved. But with the final drafting, there is no peace anymore but "grace": good for clearing up affairs but not for deciding controversial issues.

If the issue is "small" (i.e. just a misunderstanding) the letter would solve it. But if there is a real controversy (and it seems there is) the letter wont decide/solve it.

So... from the original to the final draft something changed that prevent a peaceful solution.

Hope you can solve this soon.

Yes, in the first draft I stated the problem and said that he must fix the problem. In the second draft I gave more detail how to fix it. In specific, in the first draft I explained to him the position he put me in and left me in by making it impossible to sell the house in general, and turning down the only offer, and that he is responsible for the house not selling and needs to clean up immediately so that it is appealing to buyers, or I will discuss this further with legal authortiies because he has been permitted to live there for free but is preventing a sale.

In the second draft I included all of that, but told him exactly what he must do to change the property so that it is saleable, especially if he is now moving away. It isn't my job to fix what he has just never done at all in three years. I explained to him precisely what the estate agents have complained about and that he must clean the inside impecaably before he departs and prepare to have the gardens kept up by a service [and better than he has done on his own] if he is leaving. And this is where I have said that I won't agree to lower the price at all if this isn't done.

In short, I told him he must make it look right and protect our interests when I got Hex 11 unchanging. Then realising he probably won't know what that means and what make a difference in rendering the place "appealing" to people who drive up -- I explained what he had to do as well. So there is no excuse for not doing it. I gave him a list and said I won't change the price unless he does what is on that list -- there is no point in reducing and reducing the price when the problem is his maintenance of the place. Then I got Hexagram 22 unchanging.
 

arabella

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Further to this enquiry I have asked the Yi: Will he do as I have asked?

Reply: Hexagram 58.2 becoming Hexagram 17.

This would seem to indicate his agreement and that he wil attempt to fix what is wrong, considering the "True and confident opening. Regrets vanish." message of the line.

Hexagram 17 seems a background aura of cooperation.

In all honesty, I don't see how he can do otherwise, considering the obvious sense of the thing and the advantage to getting this right for clear financial benefit. But, sometimes, that's the difference in people. He can be quite lazy and wait for everybody else to make matters right and pick up after him -- and it's one of the list of reasons we aren't together anymore.
 
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tealight

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About an unchanging result, I read somewhere that it can indicate a protracted situation, sort of like getting that hex twice in a row, or as though the hex 'changes into itself' maybe. (I can't remember where I read it, but it seems to make sense).

I also like trojan's point about it posing a question of "what are you going to do with it?" or something along those lines - I think that's really interesting actually... Could be it's saying that it's something more fated than a changing result would be and you just have to work around it.

Arabella, I just want to wish you luck with this situation. I have some idea of what it's like trying to deal with a difficult person like that, or someone who is just plain selfish and sees life as some kind of battlefield. I guess I would just add encouragement to take whatever steps to give yourself peace of mind, because by the sounds of it he will most likely just take advantage if not given clear limits from the outside.
And I'll just add that I personally would interpret 22 unchanging as saying that he will not respect your wishes, pretty much agreeing with what bamboo said about it. However, it is good that you have made clear what should be done, because you are being true to what is right. Just how I would interpret, I have less experience than most here.
 
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riurik

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In the second draft I included all of that, but told him exactly what he must do (...) I explained what he had to do as well (...)Then I got Hexagram 22 unchanging.

If you read the first wing about hexagram 22 and the transition from hex 21 to hex 22 in the ninth wing, you may find a very nice surprise.

Best of luck
 

Trojina

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I also like trojan's point about it posing a question of "what are you going to do with it?" or something along those lines - I think that's really interesting actually... Could be it's saying that it's something more fated than a changing result would be and you just have to work around it.
.

I think this is true very often
 

arabella

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If you read the first wing about hexagram 22 and the transition from hex 21 to hex 22 in the ninth wing, you may find a very nice surprise.

Best of luck

Would you care to be more specific?:)
 

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