Stripping the Caldron

[cris]

Happy Sunday, Yi lovers!

I’ve been absent from the site for some time but have kept up my dialogue with the Yi. It’s great to see some familiar names on here, as well as new members

I have a very sensitive query I’d like to gauge your insights on. Both my parents suffer from memory loss. In the last few months, there have been multiple withdrawals of significant amounts of cash from their bank account. I take care of their bigger expenses – they only manage the small day-to-day ones, so it’s hard to imagine what this money may have been used for. They of course do not remember. The options are different; for instance, the money may have been put in places they no longer remember, or lost, or used to pay unexpected expenses, or used to pay cash for expenses I’m already paying for by bank transfer, or lent / given to someone, or stolen by someone having access to their place, like their housekeeper. This last option is particularly critical – we’ve known this lady for decades and trust her completely.

“What do I need to know about these cash withdrawals?”
50.2,3,4 > 23

The caldron is a container – wonder if it indicates the bank account itself, or the place my parents stored the money in? The lines show a progressive deterioration of this container – first full, then damaged hence unmovable, then overturned and spilt. 23 is stripping, removing, and it makes me think a third party may be involved. I can't figure it out... Any help will be super appreciated!

 

[dfreed]

I am sorry to hear this. I was in the same situation with one of my parents. Setting aside the Yi's advice, I' suggest - if you can - that you take control of their finances, so you will know what's going on. It may be difficult to do, or to arrange, but it is necessary, either now or in the near future.

 

[cris]

Thanks for your reply, dfreed. I have been trying to take charge in general to ensure their health and wellbeing, on top of financial security. It is not easy.

Can you shed any light on the reading? I could use some clarity to inform my course of action.

 

[diamant]

What do I need to know about these cash withdrawals? 50.2.3.4 > 23

50.2 shows strings of money in the pot, at home. The line mentions illness, and envy/hatred of one person towards another. It also mentions that one party in this whole story has the food stored elsewhere, so someone is left not being able to eat.

50.3 there is food, and rich food at that, but it is not eaten. That's because some external features of the cauldron (the 'ears') are flayed, and the cauldron is blocked by earth (buried?).

50.4 says that an incompetent person spills the food.

My guess is that one of your parents hid some cash away, then somehow forgot it and/or accidentally destroyed it.

 

[cris]

Thanks, D. Nice to see you in this thread

There were several withdrawals in a couple of months, so either the money was somehow spent or lost repeatedly. Do you see any third party involvement? If at all possible, I'd like to rule out theft or fraud.

 

[diamant]

A third party - I wouldn't rule it out. I only say this because I've seen line 50.2 playing out as a love triangle (seen this quite a few times), where one of the lovers has gone elsewhere with someone new, and the one left behind feels terrible.

If we apply that scenario metaphorically here, then yes, there could be a third party involved, I have no idea in what capacity. Because of lines 50.3, and 50.4, and resulting 23, it sounds to me like the money got accidentally lost/destroyed, i.e. nobody got to enjoy or spend that money. It was stashed away by someone, then got lost or destroyed.

 

[cris]

This is very insightful, thanks! I see what you mean about the hex combination, and especially lines 3 and 4 where the meal goes uneaten. I still however find it unlikely for them to have recurringly lost very significant amounts of money, which they did not need to have to start with, in such a short time span. A true riddle...

 

[diamant]

It does sound very strange. I hope you manage to get to the root of the problem. Let us know!

 

[dfreed]

Thanks for your reply, dfreed. Can you shed any light on the reading?

Hey Cris. Before I respond, I'm wondering are you looking only for an answer (e.g. the Yi says the neighbors two doors down are stealing from your folks)? Or are you perhaps open to a solution or advice to address the situation, e.g. what you 'need to know' about the situation?

Both are valid of course, but it's not often clear to me what people want to know about.

Thanks. d

 

[cris]

Hey d! I'm interested in any kind of insight. My question was intentionally formulated in an open fashion (what I need to know), focusing however on the specific events (the cash withdrawals made in a definite period by my parents). As I wrote above, it'd be useful to know what happened with that money mainly to prevent similar occurrences in the present / future. That was indeed my focus when asking.

I was not expecting a very detailed response (the neighbours two floors down...) though I know from experience the Yi can be that accurate. I was hoping it would at least point me in the right direction. Thanks for the opportunity to clarify!

 

[dfreed]

My question was intentionally formulated in an open fashion (what I need to know),

Yes, I like open questions, and those fashioned in an open-ended way! I will try to take a look at the specifics of the reading soon! Best, d

 

[dfreed]

“What do I need to know about these cash withdrawals?”
50.2,3,4 > 23

Hello Cris.

Before I retired, if someone didn't do their job correctly at the agency I worked for, we'd often looked to see if there were any failures with the system or organization, and not just with the actions of a particular person; for example, had they been trained property for their job, were their job's tasks clearly spelled out, and so forth ....

Here you have Hex. 50, often call the 'cauldron'. With its two trigrams (three line figures), you have Fire above and Wind (and Wood) below, which I like to imagine are the ingredients - fire and it fuel - that are necessary for things to 'heat up' in the cauldron so change can occur.

I'm thinking it's the cauldron - or the system of care for your parents - which is broken, which maybe be easier to fix than trying to find a person to blame for this situation.

So the Yi's short answer is - fix the system.

Having gone through this with my mom, I know there are ways in which you can get a better handle on your parent's cash flow and finances. Some ideas which come to mind are providing amount-limited debit cards, or that you make sure any care givers provide you with receipts for all purchases .... and so forth (which will all vary depending on where you are and what you need.) For example, I had to hire a lawyer and three care-givers, and consult with elder-care people to help figure out what I needed to do to best care for my mom.

In some ways it's like a business where you need to look after the finances: where the money goes, what's being spent, keeping the 'books' ....

With the lower trigram Wind, changing to Earth - this is a call that you need to - at some point - stop exploring your options (which may be many), and that you think AND ACT practically about this. Trigram fire above changing to Mountain can mean that you need to provide a stable environment, and not just a safe one, for your parents.

I hope that's of some use to you.

 

[cris]

Hello d,

Thank you for taking the time to look into my reading, and apologies for this delayed response. I wanted to digest it fully before replying.

Unfortunately I know very well how delicate and complex my parents' situation is. In the past couple of years I've been constantly trying to address it both from a medical and practical standpoint, with questionable results - and many heartaches. Having gone through a similar experience with your mum, you'll probably know that memory loss implies the affected person most of the time does not realize they have a problem - and when they do, it causes such emotional distress that they tend to deny it, or anyway react negatively. My attempts to establish order in their own interest have been met with regular violent opposition. It may take quite some time, and the help of professionals, to accomplish this task.

I appreciate the Yi may be pointing at the need to fix the system (the caldron), but while the steps to do so are taken I need to prevent other major losses - that is what my reading was aiming at.

As mentioned before, the only person having complete access to my parents' place and belongings is the housekeeper. She's the one knowing where all things are and finding the periodically lost ones. So I asked a follow-up question:

"Housekeeper's involvement in cash disappearance?"
1.3,5 > 38

The relating hex seems to reflect diverging motives, and hex 1...well, action. I found an interesting interpretation of this casting in another thread, implying the involvement of another party (the "great man") resulting in damage for the reader:

Line 3, Wilhelm: A sphere of influence opens up for the great man. His fame begins to spread.
The masses flock to him.

Line 5: Here the great man has attained the sphere of the heavenly beings.

I wonder if I'm completely off track. Thanks in advance for any insight.

 

[dfreed]

Having gone through a similar experience with your mum, you'll probably know that memory loss implies the affected person most of the time does not realize they have a problem - and when they do, it causes such emotional distress that they tend to deny it, or anyway react negatively. My attempts to establish order in their own interest have been met with regular violent opposition.

At one point I tried to 'rationalize' or explain to my mom what was happening with her, but either because she didn't want to see, or could not see what was happening, she didn't see nor understand what was going on. And when I realized this - and also realized that I was trying to make my mom be someone she no long was - at least one burden had been lifted (but only one of many).

This has become a major issue and struggle for many of us - and each situation is different. I hope my interpretation and 'advice' may be of some use to you, but I realize too that it may not be specific enough for your situation. I will take a look again at what you've shared here, and see if there's any more I can glean from it.

As to fixing the 'system' - by way of example: for me, I had to get a medical diagnosis of alzheimer's so I could take over my mom's finances and making decisions for her. I had to find her medical directives and 'will' to see what they said; I had to arrange for caregivers (whom I trusted and whom earned my trust); ....

(Another friend of ours had to 'fix the cauldron' but selling her husband's car, since even though he had dementia, he'd find where she hid the keys, sneak out and go for drives, and then be found later wander the streets, no knowing where he was.)

As an aside, I asked the doctor who did my mon's medical diagnosis why, when she didn't know where she was, nor whom most of the people around her were, and she had little memory of her family, friends, etc. why did she still have the ability to rationalize away stuff she did, etc. He said that was a particular trait of Alzheimer's. I asked if there were types of dementia where people lost the ability to rationalize; he said 'yes, but it's not a pretty picture.'

A few times, I tried to involve my mom in the decision to move her to a care facility, that she did not want to move to. Finally, I said, 'mom, let's go for a vacation' and I flew with her 1,000 or so miles to where I live and brought her to a nearby dementia care facility and left her there. It was gut-wrenching for both of us, but it was exactly what I needed to do.

As you probably know, people with dementia have a wide range of reactions to their condition and to what others want to, or need to do to care for them. My mom never wanted to go to the facility - and was confused and unhappy because of the move - but she was not angry, nor violent, which is a reaction some people have.

"Housekeeper's involvement in cash disappearance?"
1.3,5 > 38

I will try and take a closer look at this. In the meantime, I wonder, is it possible for you to remove the valuables from your parent's home, so they are not available to be stolen? (And since they won't remember they are missing, they won't know they are missing.) It's just a suggestion, one small piece of 'fixing the cauldron'.

Best, D.

 

[diamant]

Housekeeper's involvement in cash disappearance? 1.3.5 > 38

For me, line 1.3 almost always plays out as 'you've got very valid reasons to worry, you should indeed worry about it'. So I'd say that yes, you are right to worry about her. Perhaps you'll need to involve 'officials' of some sort (1.5), or professionals as you put it, and part ways with this housekeeper (38).

Which I'm sure would be yet another struggle for you. It all sounds so tough, especially you trying to help and receiving violent opposition in return.

 

[cris]

At one point I tried to 'rationalize' or explain to my mom what was happening with her, but either because she didn't want to see, or could not see what was happening, she didn't see nor understand what was going on. And when I realized this - and also realized that I was trying to make my mom be someone she no long was - at least one burden had been lifted (but only one of many).

This has become a major issue and struggle for many of us - and each situation is different. I hope my interpretation and 'advice' may be of some use to you, but I realize too that it may not be specific enough for your situation. I will take a look again at what you've shared here, and see if there's any more I can glean from it.

As to fixing the 'system' - by way of example: for me, I had to get a medical diagnosis of alzheimer's so I could take over my mom's finances and making decisions for her. I had to find her medical directives and 'will' to see what they said; I had to arrange for caregivers (whom I trusted and whom earned my trust); ....

(Another friend of ours had to 'fix the cauldron' but selling her husband's car, since even though he had dementia, he'd find where she hid the keys, sneak out and go for drives, and then be found later wander the streets, no knowing where he was.)

As an aside, I asked the doctor who did my mon's medical diagnosis why, when she didn't know where she was, nor whom most of the people around her were, and she had little memory of her family, friends, etc. why did she still have the ability to rationalize away stuff she did, etc. He said that was a particular trait of Alzheimer's. I asked if there were types of dementia where people lost the ability to rationalize; he said 'yes, but it's not a pretty picture.'

A few times, I tried to involve my mom in the decision to move her to a care facility, that she did not want to move to. Finally, I said, 'mom, let's go for a vacation' and I flew with her 1,000 or so miles to where I live and brought her to a nearby dementia care facility and left her there. It was gut-wrenching for both of us, but it was exactly what I needed to do.

As you probably know, people with dementia have a wide range of reactions to their condition and to what others want to, or need to do to care for them. My mom never wanted to go to the facility - and was confused and unhappy because of the move - but she was not angry, nor violent, which is a reaction some people have.


I will try and take a closer look at this. In the meantime, I wonder, is it possible for you to remove the valuables from your parent's home, so they are not available to be stolen? (And since they won't remember they are missing, they won't know they are missing.) It's just a suggestion, one small piece of 'fixing the cauldron'.

Best, D.

Hey d.,

Thanks much for sharing your experience. I understand how painful it must've been. Nowadays cognitive diseases are unfortunately very common, however I have felt terribly lonely in this journey. Knowing that other people have gone through it is of some comfort.

Today I went to see "The Father". It was eye-opening. Now I understand more about how my parents feel than after years of first hand experience. I spent all the first part of the movie having insights - about myself, and them, and us together. I'll travel to their place tomorrow to resume the caldron fixing. The key valuables should be safe, it's cash I need to take control of.

Let me know if you can make anything out of my last reading...

 

[cris]

Housekeeper's involvement in cash disappearance? 1.3.5 > 38

For me, line 1.3 almost always plays out as 'you've got very valid reasons to worry, you should indeed worry about it'. So I'd say that yes, you are right to worry about her. Perhaps you'll need to involve 'officials' of some sort (1.5), or professionals as you put it, and part ways with this housekeeper (38).

Which I'm sure would be yet another struggle for you. It all sounds so tough, especially you trying to help and receiving violent opposition in return.

Thanks D. Indeed it's hard. This lady has been my only ally in this situation, she's like family to us, and the mere thought that she could be taking advantage of our ordeal horrifies me. If this is the case, anyway, I'd rather know.

Because of lines 50.3, and 50.4, and resulting 23, it sounds to me like the money got accidentally lost/destroyed, i.e. nobody got to enjoy or spend that money. It was stashed away by someone, then got lost or destroyed.

How do you see the two castings combined? Could it be that the housekeeper inadvertently destroyed the cash?

 

[dfreed]

Let me know if you can make anything out of my last reading...

I'll try to take a look. So I don't have to hunt and peck, can you tell me which post contains that rewsding, or just state it again? Thanks.

 

[cris]

I'll try to take a look. So I don't have to hunt and peck, can you tell me which post contains that rewsding, or just state it again? Thanks.

#13. Fellowship...

 

[dfreed]

Housekeeper's involvement in cash disappearance? 1.3.5 > 38

I guess my divinatory skills are just not kicking in this morning. I can't get a definitive answer here:

With: 1.3 - 'wary at night. (sensing). danger, (but then) no harm'. This make me wonder, that despite your worry (sensing danger), that it's not the housekeeper? But that's just me wondering.

The trigram changes are from Heaven above and below (hex. 1) to Lake and Fire: I can't really see much about the cause here, but in the 'big picture' you need to make your parents feel as content as you can and provide a safe environment for them, including finding ways to keep their finances safe.

The shift from Heaven to Lake (in the lower trigrams) may also be saying that before you make decisions or plans, there needs to be more communication. I don't know exactly what that is, but what comes to mind: is it out of the question for you to talk with the housekeeper about the missing cash; not in an accusatory way, but more inquisitively - do they have any idea how this might be happening, etc.

38 is 'in small matters, there will be good fortune' ....

I see this as encouragement to keep doing what you are doing - and I get a sense that being 'close to the action' - actually visiting your parents in their home and seeing the housekeeper and whomever or whatever is in their lives will give you more information about what you need to do. And perhaps to this is advice to break the very large task of caring for your parents into smaller parts or 'small matters'.

Sorry I couldn't be more specific. Best, D.

 

[diamant]

How do you see the two castings combined? Could it be that the housekeeper inadvertently destroyed the cash?

What do I need to know about these cash withdrawals? 50.2.3.4 > 23
Housekeeper's involvement in cash disappearance? 1.3.5 > 38

In both of these readings, all activated changing lines are 'male'. So I don't think that the housekeeper directly did something to the cash, most probably your father did.

 

[cris]

D and d thanks for providing further insight on my readings. I was relieved to see your interpretations concur in discounting the housekeeper's involvement.

I'm with my folks now, trying to find the best path forward. Still no idea about the withdrawn cash. Will continue to investigate, and should I find out I'll share. My priority is however to ensure their safety and comfort from all standpoints in the present and future.

Be well,
C.