Surprise! Another Relationship Question!

[mercury]

Hello there...in the latest episode of my continuing saga, I asked yi about how things are progressing between my spouse and I, in the aftermath an upheaval in our relationship which has been a long time coming. I got 1.1.6 > 28 (think that's correct).

Following yi's earlier counsel, I've been trying hard to shed illusion and proceed without thought for my own gain in dealing with this situation; there's repentance and a desire for honesty and true respect involved. But 28 worries me a bit. If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them...as always, many thanks.

 

[dobro p]

28 used to worry me whenever I drew it too, but no longer, cuz now I see its chief meaning as 'getting well beyond a critical mass situation before it collapses or implodes'.

So I'd read 1.1.6>28 as 'overall, creative energy gets you well beyond a critical mass situation before it collapses'. Which is pretty much how I would read your description of how you're handling the situation. You seem to be zeroing your ego as much as possible, and when you do that, what happens? Well, creative energy starts flowing, of course. The thing that blocks or veils the Creative is ego or false personality. Get rid of egoic motivations, and reality has a chance to flow through your life. Which is what the Yi's describing - creative energy is flowing through your life in a way that is taking you beyond the present danger of collapse in the relationship. There are two warnings attached in what you've drawn: at first, don't consciously try to use or manipulate or control this creative energy - let it take care of itself; later on, when you see that it has done its job (and this is the really difficult part) don't let the creative energy that's flowing through now get to be too powerful or overwhelming, cuz creative energy can be destructive if not kept within bounds - it's like fire or electricity, right? So I see your situation as requiring exquisite timing: at first, don't try to manipulate it, which will help it start flowing; later, when it's done its work, you have to make sure you don't get swamped by it. How do you do that? Mmmm...know your limits and how to preserve yourself, is the best thing I can think of. Right now, you're serving the relationship, right? Okay, when you've done that, make sure that you're taking care of yourself as well, cuz a healthy relationship requires healthy individuals, and what's the point of saving the relationship if you get clobbered in the process?

 

[mercury]

Dobro, thanks for looking at this, and yeah, that's EXACTLY the dance I feel I've been doing: calibrating my thoughts and actions toward healing rather than gain, and I can feel that it's having an effect. But as you say, the trick really does seem to be in not trying to control it or manipulate it; for probably the first time in my life I'm consciously just trying to stay out of the way and keep a goal in mind.

The taking care of myself part is a little bit of a puzzle, though; I'm hoping that that will take care of itself if I keep going this way...sounds like a question for you-know-who...

Thanks again for your wisdom.

 

[autumn]

I always hate to guess the specifics of a situation even when I think I see them because sometimes that can feel invasive to others, but you've already revealed a lot, and you've had so many readings that seem to be dealing with the same issues, so I'll ask: Did your spouse start flirting with someone last winter or early spring and end up having an affair around the end of the summer? Or otherwise make a very bad decision that disrupted the bedrock of the relationship? That's what your other readings seemed to be pointing to, but of course it's a guess, and 1 is male energy, so I'd sort of assumed it was the male who had initiated the problems. Your first reading was 1.4.6. (5)

Well, if that's what's going on, then notice that this reading is similar to 23.1.6. in that first and sixth lines change. That indicates a process that either will begin and end quickly or has already been completed. So, here, the male energy has begun and has ended and the result is shame. (Either looking at 1 line 1 and 6 alone or 44.6)

28 is about being under pressure and finally in the last line collapsing into death. Here, though, I see this as Hexagram 1 collapsing. Negative aspects of the male energy collapsing, really imploding, and this as being a necessary part of renewal. I see this for your situation as being about someone having too much on their plate, and really, having things on their plate that don't belong there, and feeling an intense pressure that has been a natural result of refusing to limit oneself. Of course that assumes that my ideas about what's going on are more or less correct.

 

[mercury]

Autumn, your ideas regarding the male energy are, alas, exactly correct. As to the flirting spouse, no -- but that timeline could conceivably gibe with the actions of the mysterious third person in the scenario -- a woman -- whom I have not seen since spring of '04, after our forced estrangement, but who is in a new relationship that started sometime after spring '05.

I asked how she's doing in her new life; I got 47.5 > 40.

 

[autumn]

You didn't get an answer about her new life. That message is directed to you.

 

[dobro p]

Dobro, as you say, the trick really does seem to be in not trying to control it or manipulate it;

Well, I was talking more about timing, but now that you mention it, yeah - not trying to control it is a good approach most times. I mean, if it makes for good meditation, then it's probably useful for a more outward application, is what I'm thinking. Cuz that's how I use it.

 

[willowfox]

"I got 1.1.6 > 28."

Hex 1.1 this is a time to wait and be patient, get a clearer picture of the problem.

Hex 1.6 says not to push things and isolate yourself, do not be too ambitious in trying to sort the mess out, that leads to failure, so hold back and be humble for the moment.

Hex 28 the situation is out of balance and nearing a crisis point, maybe it is you who is at fault here, but it has to be set right now. You have to protect your own interests in this affair even if it means losing something and being single. Now is the time for action, not forceful but diplomatic action, do it right and you will have a successful outcome.

 

[dobro p]

Autumn, your ideas regarding the male energy are, alas, exactly correct. As to the flirting spouse, no -- but that timeline could conceivably gibe with the actions of the mysterious third person in the scenario -- a woman -- whom I have not seen since spring of '04, after our forced estrangement, but who is in a new relationship that started sometime after spring '05.

I asked how she's doing in her new life; I got 47.5 > 40.

I'd write a novel if I were you. Or start one at least. Enforced estrangements require it.

 

[willowfox]

"I asked how she's doing in her new life; I got 47.5 > 40."

Hex 47.5 at first she was feeling oppressed and received no help from anyone but slowly her situation has become better.

Hex 40 she has removed or is in the process of succesfully removing an obstacle(s) in her life that was preventing further progress but now, either it has been or soon will be eliminated then her life can return to normal once again.

 

[dobro p]

You're back, and no need to take on yet another persona. Good luck.

 

[mercury]

Thanks for the thoughts, all...and Dobro, I feel like I'm LIVING in a novel -- not a particularly original one, but a page-turner nonetheless.

Willowfox, I had been thinking along those lines as well...but I also wondered, as Autumn suggests, if the answer I got about the "lost girl" may have been addressed to me. Is there any guide worth listening to other than my own intuition on this point? I can definitely see it applying both ways.

 

[dobro p]

Thanks for the thoughts, all...and Dobro, I feel like I'm LIVING in a novel -- not a particularly original one, but a page-turner nonetheless.

Yeah, life can be novelesque sometimes. I prefer it when it's novel just often enough to keep things from getting dull lol. But the thing I was talking about was writing about it. It helps sometimes. I could be autobiographical to illustrate the point, but it's unnecessary cuz you know what I'm talking about probably. But I'll check, to be polite. Ever written?

 

[mercury]

Hey Dobro. Yeah, I have written about this, in journal form, and it does definitely help to get it out of the head and into the world without having to self-censor or inflict it on another person...and in fact I am writing something that I realized early on was a version of the story in disguise.

One way or another, these things catch up with you, I guess. Seems like you know where I'm coming from.

 

[dobro p]

...and in fact I am writing something that I realized early on was a version of the story in disguise.

One way or another, these things catch up with you, I guess. Seems like you know where I'm coming from.

If it's something that's either catching up with you or expressing itself in disguise, then you're very, very lucky to have seen it, because now you know that it's your main issue to deal with and learn from right now. People often don't know what their main issue is at any given time. I know what my main issue is for today, because two different oracles have given me the same message, and it fits the facts as I know them. I also know what my aim is overall for my life right now, and I know something of how to get there, cuz I work at it. But I don't know what my main issue is in the same sense that I'm talking about here in relation to what you've presented in this thread. I'd say you've got lucky. Keep your eyes open, and keep at it.