Take Two- the burning question

[maurey]

I originally posted this as a reply but after checking neurotically for two hours I think I will try it as a new thread and see what happens--

<<Then I'm confused. I'll try to keep it short, but basically, I had a passionate affair with someone I worked with. I was married and he had a long term/live in girlfriend. I ended my marriage and moved out. He didn't end his relationship with his girlfriend (didn't tell her either though it was very obvious that she knew what was going on) and then was posted to do his teacher training in New Caledonia (a tiny island beyond Australia and New Zealand), something that was conveniently arranged by his girlfriend's father, so they both went there together (the girlfriend's father lives there). Things are/were very much up in the air between the two of us. At first we wrote, called and emailed constantly then I got a bit nervous and said that I didn't want any more contact. That lasted about a week as both of us were miserable. Now we text three/four times a week--I only respond to him, just about his teacher training and what's going on in school for me, cheerful and chatty. I am trying hard not to keep my internal eye on his situation but his training will finish in 2009 at the end of the school year and I do wonder what might happen and what direction the situation will go in....

Here are some of the readings I've done

The final outcome of he and I
45 (Gathering Together) to 32 (Duration)

The final outcome of he and his girlfriend
54 (The Marrying Maiden) to 49 (Revolution/Molting)

What his time is like in New Caledonia
48 (the Well) to 36 (Darkening of the Light)

What will happen to he and I when he finishes his training
34 (Great Power) to 5 (Waiting)

What will happen to he and his girlfriend when he finishes his training
38 (Opposition) to 17 (Following)

As you can probably guess, getting Following (17) for he and his girlfriend really bothered me, as she has done exactly that... followed him around while he gets trained up in his brilliant career. And on the surface, it says more of the same. But some interpretations seem to say that Following is more about following your own truth and following your real self, no matter how difficult that is. And I know, at least for the time that we were together, there was true love between us. It was and is a life changing relationship, for the both of us. Now that he is on the other side of the world and we are texting politely and carefully to one another, doubts have begun to creep in.

Would really appreciate your thoughts but be gentle-- I am so caught up with this!

Thanks xx>>

 

[jesed]

Hi Maurey

Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time.

I am so caught up with this!

This (and the description of your situation) is the only important text in what you wrote, in my opinion.

How do you decide to regain your emotional freedom? is the only important question, in my opinion.


All the other stuff have the risk to be nothing else but wishful-thinking.

Best wishes

 

[maurey]

yes, it's true, it does have the risk of being wishful thinking. Everything has that risk though, doesn't it? Just wondering what people thought of the hexagrams that came up....

 

[jesed]

Just wondering what people thought of the hexagrams that came up....

He is having such a bad time there (48 to 36). Even if their relation will solve their actual opositions (38 to 17; specially the lines) and your relation will remain in stand-by only because of your determination and will (34 to 5); finally he would decide to change his not-meant-to-be relation with her (54 to 49) and choose you and marry you (45 to 32).

Is this what you want to hear?

Best wishes

 

[maurey]

It's not about what I "want" to hear at all-- I was just wondering what other people who were interested in the I Ching thought about the hexagrams that came up around the situation. But your second response feels very sarcastic to me, maybe I'm not reading it correctly. And I don't know why you would decide that the only "important" part of my post would be the idea that I'm too emotionally attached to my situation. I've been reading the message boards and it seems to me that there are a lot of people who are coming to terms with difficult situations here and are attached to their situations. Have I not phrased something right?

 

[bamboo]

the readings look very positive to me, maurey, but i would caution you about the accuracy of longterm outlooks esp in the area of relationships. It is one area where I think the Yi stays very specific and immediate. but it does look good so far, and I wish you the best.

 

[jesed]

It was not sarcasm.

The comment I wrote was the only way to make a coherent interpretation of contradictories answers. Of course, the other posibility to understand such contradictions was to read them as consequence of emotional bias.

Anyway; I hope you can find what you need. I wont upset you anymore

 

[willowfox]

"but after checking neurotically for two hours", it was very late where I live, so I could not reply as I needed to sleep.


The final outcome of he and I
45.2,3,5 to 32

Here we go. The problem here is him, he and you had an affair but it shows that he was not being sincere with you, he was living two lives at the same time, he was not prepared to put all his eggs into one basket and never will be. If you could have got rid of his girlfriend then things would have been very different, but now this is how it is going to be. Duration means that the status quo will not change.

The final outcome of he and his girlfriend
54.2,3,5 to 49

The final outcome, oneday he will move on.

What his time is like in New Caledonia
48.1,2,5 to 36

It appears that the place is not to his liking, appears to have few acquaintances, he does not seem to be getting along with the people there but he is learning something at least.

What will happen to he and I when he finishes his training
34 (Great Power) to 5 (Waiting)

What will happen to he and his girlfriend when he finishes his training?
38.2,5,6 to 17

There appears to be some problems in this relationship, as all is not sweet as honey here but in the end he will drag her along behind him wherever he goes.