The bathingsuit incident 😶 Hex 12.3.5 to 31

[dancingfox]

I am a plus-size girl, never felt the need to lose those extra pounds just to fit in. I love myself.. but some days I love myself better then others. Summertime can be a bit of a challenge. I feel better in a bathingsuit these days then a bikini, which is why I decided to treat myself to an absolutely gorgeous bathingsuit I found online. Today was delivery day and it was a perfect fit. I was so happy with it that I took a silly pic of myself in the bathingsuit and sent it through messenger to my sister, who is alsof my best friend. We share stuff like this all the time. By accident she copied my pic into a groupchat with a LOT of mutual friends and acquaintances in it. I didn't feel mortified or anything but it certainly was a personal picture. Just really pale me with my morningface... getting over my yearly shyness for summer/swimming-season. My sister immediately took the pic down and thoroughly apologized to me and all of our friends

So I asked what can I learn from this incident.
Hex 12.3.6 31

I know this insn't exactly a question about the deeper things in life but to me it's certainly a relevant question. I believe a positive body-consciousness is of rising importance in the society we live in today. I don't want to feel insecure about my body but heaven knows it still happens sometimes.

Thoughts?

 

[Trojina]

So I asked what can I learn from this incident.
Hex 12.3.6 31

That you feel shame (12.3) but you really needn't because it gets in your way. It won't for much longer (12.6). I think you will let the picture go back up.

Yang pattern is 52, stilling, holding to oneself
Yin pattern is 58, letting go of that is sharing, talking, laughing, friends. These are like doors to the reading.

This whole thing has stultified you a bit, hence the 12. The image I get here is of a cork stuck in a bottle or a lid jammed on tight (via 12 and 52 pattern) but it is time to wiggle that cork free of that bottle neck, which might be why your sister put it up. Perhaps subconsciously she is the cork wiggler. The 31 as relating and the 58 as yin pattern suggest to me this is not going to result in more shame and reserve but the lot of you having a good time and a laugh and perhaps a lot of compliments and people saying 'where has that great picture gone !' and you may put it back up.


Not if you don't want to of course. Having said all that it does seem a bit of an odd thing for a sister to do. I mean most women would probably prefer to have some control over where they are seen half naked. But as you are best friends I assume she did it to show you off to everyone because she thinks you look good.

 

[Juliah]

To me, the IC is being direct here:

12.3 - Wilhelm/Baynes: They bear shame because the place is not the right one.
You felt confused since you did not expect the pic to be posted in the place inappropriate for that.

12.6 - Wilhelm/Baynes: When standstill comes to an end, it reverses. One should not wish to make it permanent.
The occurence was cleared up and came to an end. Nobody remained hurt.

The lesson to learn is to accept the incident as it is and to forget about it. Life goes on with the new bathing suit

 

[loverofknowledge]

Hi, I agree with Trojina and Juliah in their reading.
I may add: 31 as the relating hexagram is about attraction and being attractive, to others and also to yourself. So it pertains directly to the matter of a positive self-regard and body image.
As the others said, 12.3 portrays the manner and mood of this incident , while 12.6 shows that it provoked you to let go of your pent up feelings about your body, so that you can more consciously embrace a positive body image (31).

 

[Trojina]

Amendment. Earlier I said it was an odd thing for your sister to do....but

. By accident she copied my pic into a groupchat with a LOT of mutual friends and acquaintances in it.

...it was an accident so not odd except odd as an accident. Makes no difference to my reading but I thought I'd correct that.

 

[dancingfox]

Hi Julia

The lesson to learn is to accept the incident as it is and to forget about it. Life goes on with the new bathing suit

My question was not so much about the incident as it was about the underlying thought, how to be genuinely happy with what god gave me Self acceptance as it were.

 

[dancingfox]

It was indeed an odd accident. Can't imagine my sis doing such a thing on purpose. I did feel some shame but looking back on the incident I think that perhaps it was meant to be. My sis knows I struggle with my body image and confidence at times.

I went from size 6 to 14 in 10 years time. My lifestyle used to be destructive and unhealthy in general, but the last couple of years I made meaningful changes in my life choices, kicked a few bad habits. I do every distance by bicycle (I don't own a car) and I try to eat and sleep in a balanced way. Nobody knows or understands more about my personal struggles then my little sis.

I also know she wants me to be more proud of myself and what I have accomplished. So maybe she didn't do it on purpose. Maybe she was 'the right man' in line 6

The standstill does not last forever. However, it does not cease of its own accord; the right man is needed to end it.

Yes Juliah, life certainly goes on with the new (gorgeous) bathing suit. Time for me to start feeling gorgeous myself again

 

[Tohpol]

Your reading reminds me of a good friend of mine approaching 35 years who has a radiant smile, wonderful curly hair and big brown eyes, but only sees "fat" whenever she looks in the mirror. She is of Nigerian origin which means it can be quite common to have emphasis in the hips, thighs and bust. (Some of her girlfriends are the same body-type but seem quite happy in themselves). She's also big-boned, and quite fit in terms of health and muscle tone. But despite this, it has reached a point where she's quite neurotic about not being skinny and constantly goes on diets to attain that idealised image in her mind. It means she is constantly trying to alter her natural body type, against her genes if you will.

So, she's yet to find that self-acceptance you mention and which is also linked to some fairly negative childhood experiences in this regard which obviously doesn't help. It's so tragic because her personality shines out, complementing and enhancing her natural beauty. But she doesn't see it. When she looks in the mirror her perception constantly reinforces the idea she really is overweight. And that is very difficult thing to shift. No matter how many times I or her friends say the opposite, every time she sees a super-slim saturnine type willowing down the street she immediately thinks that is how she should be.

It's really very sad. The fashion world has a lot to answer for. However, the Venusian / voluptuous body-type is making a comeback I think and not before time!

Anyway, just wanted to wish you well and although beauty is within for sure, a plus size lady can be just as gorgeous physically as any size 6 as far as I'm concerned and I think the majority of people think the same. FWIW. (I know you know this but I think it needs to be shouted from the root-tops at every opportunity).

 

[Tim K]

Yeah I also see the reading as saying: accept yourself more, you needed this push (.6).
It wasn't so bad was it dear? No need to be ashamed(.3), go now and meet with other people freely (31, connect).

 

[dancingfox]

Dear Topal,

Perhaps this blog will inspire your friend as it has inspired and awed me: https://siphokaziveti.wordpress.com/2015/02/18/body-image-positive/

Maybe even more so for your friend with those Nigerian roots. You see, the woman behind the blog is a South-African young student who speaks up about subjects like a positive body image, feminism and loving the skin you are in.

The Venusian bodytype is indeed making a comeback and it has been helping me heaps in building up my confidence. I was a teenager in the skinny heroin-chique nineties so letting go of the idea that being slim is the same as being beautiful has been (and still is) a journey for me.

We come in all shapes and sizes, isn't it a sad thought that beauty should be restricted to the unrealistic standards of the fashionworld? I think that our secret lies in selfacceptance. When we feel beautiful we naturally become more attractive to others.

I feel for your friend and I can relate to her struggles, give her big up from me, one woman to another!

 

[giraffe]

Hmm...I know this is years later but I just wanted to note that 12.3.5 changes to hexagram 56, not 31...so meaning that the situation as a whole was transitory/short-lived.

 

[giraffe]

Oh shoot—I am sorry I see they are referencing 12.3.6 —-so that is 31 —-but just at the top of the thread it says “12.3.5”