The Big Dipper at Noon

[yxeli]

I have been in alot of deep confusion about a relationship, and I've been consulting Yi about it over and over and over again... Funnily enough Yi hasnt given me the line of youthfull ignorance that says I consult the oracle too often, which I thank Yi for. It seems to understand my process and is willing to have lengthly converstions with me about this situation. It is my only only outlet to recover.

This is gonna be a long post, because I dont think i'm getting Yi's overview about this. I could post a saga of chapters but instead i will just post the readings I have had this morning.

I am hoping that a more experienced reader can see the common thread in these readings and can help me sew these into a general view.

First question was ' What is the reality of this relationship now?' 56.2 A wanderer in a strange situation that meets a friend?

Second was 'What should my position be regarding this?' 55.2 Things are very confused, but there's a central truth i should remember?

Third was ''What is this truth?' 29 1.6 > 61 I have no idea about this one. Should i take the base and top line as referring to the whole of 29 ? then it leads to 61 which I really dont get.

Fourth was 'What should my next step be?' 43 2.5.6.> 38. ???


Thank you and sorry for not focusing on one reading here. This is a very painfull process for me and I really thank anyone who is willing to help me here.


Thank you

Yx

 

[dragona]

Hello, I am no expert at all but can relate on a few casts I also had.
55.2. lovely line, I think I once had a dream looking like that..when I casted this, I was very confused about the situation I am still in, aboundance that is overbearing, you may get things clarified, I dare say, but not in you own time.
56.2 got 2 days ago about somebody`s wiew on the situation
so speaking without any deeper knowledge, one of you may be in some sort of a transitional state, not completely opened, cards are not all on the table; there are other things that come before this relationship now. The bond is there, it is vallued and appreciated and things are in motion.

''What is this truth?' 29 1.6 > 61 I don`t understand the question put this way. Rephrase it, perhaps.
Looks llike an complicated emotional turmoil.
Hope this can help at all, d.

 

[maverickcc]

Interestingly that your first 2 questions get the pair Hex 55 and 56, and get the position line 2.

You pretty want to have a serious relationship, but afraid of being hurt. Your partner is older than you, and really care about you.

The third one says that you should trust each other.

The fourth one I do not understand. Do you ask all the questions in a short period?

I have been in alot of deep confusion about a relationship, and I've been consulting Yi about it over and over and over again... Funnily enough Yi hasnt given me the line of youthfull ignorance that says I consult the oracle too often, which I thank Yi for. It seems to understand my process and is willing to have lengthly converstions with me about this situation. It is my only only outlet to recover.

This is gonna be a long post, because I dont think i'm getting Yi's overview about this. I could post a saga of chapters but instead i will just post the readings I have had this morning.

I am hoping that a more experienced reader can see the common thread in these readings and can help me sew these into a general view.

First question was ' What is the reality of this relationship now?' 56.2 A wanderer in a strange situation that meets a friend?

Second was 'What should my position be regarding this?' 55.2 Things are very confused, but there's a central truth i should remember?

Third was ''What is this truth?' 29 1.6 > 61 I have no idea about this one. Should i take the base and top line as referring to the whole of 29 ? then it leads to 61 which I really dont get.

Fourth was 'What should my next step be?' 43 2.5.6.> 38. ???


Thank you and sorry for not focusing on one reading here. This is a very painfull process for me and I really thank anyone who is willing to help me here.


Thank you

Yx

 

[yxeli]

Thanks Dragona, Yes it is very transitional right now, and yes, that 61 question was a little odd, but as i find the Yi often suggests to me a new question, it directly related to the 'truth' suggested in 55.2 That although everything is very confused and I cant see whats happening, that there is some 'truth' or direction to follow.

Maverick Your response was spot on. He is older (5 yrs older) then me and there is a massive issue with trust here. So thank you very much for your interpretations they were really accurate.

Yes I did ask these question very quickly, one after the other this morning.

The last question was about what direction should i move in now regarding the relationship or what I need to think about. Yes it was very badly phrased that one.


Thanks so much for replying you guys its really a great help


Yx

 

[hopex]

sorry to hear you are in the mingle mangle - all will be well

56 something is moving on clouds blowing over

55 your position should be gladness and appreciation your cup is full (not seeing that?)

29>61 the truth is that life has tricky turns slippery transits (i take this to be my unresolved childhood issues projected inappropriately onto my adult relationship -
2 different things but by all means ask for support from your partner about your insecurites as you uncover work on them - if relevant) 61 is a time to set limits
- boundaries either on own victimology or turning phone off at 9 pm to get a good nights sleep - not accepting being called butternut squash in public whatever limit
needs to be set for sanity

43>38 next step make a decision to engage commit fully to the relationship
- however stick on areas of mutuality and common ground - dont go deep or
big right now like are you marrying me and can we have 5 kids by next christmas
- or i dont like your Mother kind of thing - all will be well little Yx

 

[dragona]

i did not understand the question- What is this truth? Truth of the situation?

 

[yxeli]

Hopex,

I have been getting mixed signals from this guy, it isnt a new relationship, We were together inthe loosest sense of the term for three years, I got hexagram 3 alot when i consulted about the relationship- I couldnt let my defensiveness down and be myself around him, and he would try and try but he was also mirroring my behaviour to a certain extent and he was evasive.

There was mixed signals and misunderstanding all the way. His behaviour also was very confusing to me, sometimes ignoring me when i saw him and sometime coming over and talking to me. He said that we were going out twice before walking off and leaving me at parties and things like that.

He has been with other people, we arent exclusive and even when he said that we were together i never quite believed him.

before christmas he started wooing me again and i confronted all the rumours id heard about who he had been with. He confirmed the rumours and he got very upset and left the party.

ive since sent him emails to try and clarify why his behaviour was so inconsistant and his response was he had to try with me even though he didnt know what he was doing.

Last week i saw him flirting with yet another girl. Shes much more popular then i and really the centre of the party like he is.

I'm so alone in this. The I ching is the only thing i have to give me advice.

I know the sensible thing to do after reading this post is to let it go, but i dont think we gave eachother a proper chance and ive never felt so alive before i met him. he opened up alot of things for me in this world, about feeling connected and warmth and what love can be.

Dragona, ''What is this truth?'' The 'this' relates to the previous hexagram i cast 55.2 truth/direction.


Thank you Both,

Yx

 

[hopex]

Yxeli - yes I know this kind of relationship - I think in
my experience it comes down to things starting off the
wrong way - strange but true. Its those first few moments
of connection that set what is to come.

Love tends to strike when you dont expect it - thats why at
your time in life you must be alert and have a system.
Knowing what you want from a relationship before you start
is good.

A book called 'getting to i do' talks about masculine and feminine
energy - patricia allen. The Rules also describes prototypical
relating.

So if things got off to a bad start, make a brand new end and
follow a system. Men always come back but you need to know
who is the male energy and who is the female energy.

You sound feminine to me -

book examples - hig powered female biz exec (masc) goes with
female energy artist - she is the bread winner he the home mom
as you say

Also chemistry produces oxytocin which binds a female to a man
- often to the wrong man - these are your pain feelings you have
bonded - no contact causes de-bonding.

Maybe ask Yi -if I want this man what do I need to do differently?

if you dont want him then you can not see him and debond - tell
yourself its life. Be confidently and fully yourself someone will
love it.:bows:

 

[yxeli]

Thanks Hopex,

I asked your question that you posed 'What should i do differently with him?''

I got hex 37...

Rigid social structure? Let him be the 'father'? I dont know :/

Thank you I didnt know that woman chemically bond with a man, and i dont know the etiquette for dating or how the 'game' shuld be played.

I dont know if i want to play a game, and i felt that he was.

Thanks for reply Hopex,

Yx

 

[hopex]

37 is family - I would say thats what most men look for
a woman who can mother his children and provide him
with family - (men cant have babies and are ergo lonely
and driven to make one)

men marry your virtue - unfortunately we have to understand
males better.

Look up every reading interpretation of 37 - can you involve him
more in your family - this man is a cancer am I right?

ps - it is not a game - men fall in love quickly and out quickly
because of the bonding hormone in women (which men dont have)
it can be disastrous - the bingeing longing acting out pining and
obsession. You need to put him through every test because for
sure if he truly loves you - you are safe. IT AINT NO GAME - you
can get hurt more than you know - men move onto next pasture
without looking back - FACT

 

[yxeli]

he is a Leo, i dotn know how to respond to your postscript, i wish you were wrong

I get 37 alot with him, I've read most of the forums on 37 but i dont know how it relates to him. I'm not particularly close with my family, i dont hang out with them, im the youngest daughter and the roles that they wish to keep me in ive outgrown.

regards your postscript-- well maybe your right. I just dont know why after he had been with others that he started flirting with me again. He know how hurt i am over him and its really angers me that he continued to be like that with me, sometime flirting sometime ignoring me.

I think about him all the time. I dont know how to stop this stupid oxytocin or whatever it was.

Thanks

Yx

 

[hopex]

Well thats it a Leo always needs to feel like a King - and
in spite of his prowling around he has come back and no
doubt sees your sincerity and hurt and is standing by you
through it.

I am sure he is very warm and protective - maybe you do
need to say you want an exclusive relationship as his wandering
round does your head in.

We youngest of a family are at a disadvantage in terms of
competition because we are the last our folks hang on while
our siblings learn to deal with more complex competitive
feelings

Tell him the truth and ask for what you truly want - be brave
if you want to make a family with him - ask him his intentions towards
you. Dont waste time x

 

[white owl]

There is real progress in this pursuing, it is bringing about spiritual transformation ( 29 to 61 ) That is the truth.
Despite all the knowledge aquired, there isnt a whole lot you can do at the moment with it. (55.2)
Stay determined, keep an open mind. ( 43 to 38 )
This realtionship has a feeling of security ( 56.2) the reality.

 

[dragona]

Getting back on the 29.1,6 into 61 what is the truth for you
Your inner truth is and you are fully aware of it, that you are deeply emotionaly envolved on an uneven scale and you are trying to mannage your way out of it But in three years he does not learn the course for him to pursue.Legge.
What you should do differently? Set up an firm structure most advantageous is that the wife be firm and correct., an devoted relationship. After all, if he is The King (Leo), you are only fit to be (his) The Queen. When you get approach on that matter, don`t settle for less. He should appritiate it and it will give you your self-confidence back.

 

[yxeli]

Thank you both.

I have done it all wrong.

I really liked him and i chased after him, so he doesnt have any respect for me i dont think. I already said that i need to feel secure and trust him by him being loyal to me, but he said that its over.

i asked what the reality of the relationship is now and i got 19.4 a sincere approach is the only way now.

I then asked 'what should my position be? '33.6>31' retreat from wooing seems fairly straightforward.

I then asked 'how do i retreat?' and i got 38.5 ''Six in the fifth place means:
Remorse disappears.
The companion bites his way through the wrappings.
If one goes to him,
How could it be a mistake?

Coming upon a sincere man, one fails to recognize him at first because of the general estrangement. However, he bites his way through the wrappings that are causing the separation. When such a companion thus reveals himself in his true character, it is one’s duty to go to meet him and to work with him''

?? I thought this referred to the guy in question, so i asked ''is the companion x?'

and i got 50.2 ''Nine in the second place means:
There is food in the ting.
My comrades are envious,
But they cannot harm me.
Good fortune.

In a period of advanced culture, it is of the greatest importance that one should achieve something significant. If a man concentrates on such real undertakings, he may indeed experience envy and disfavor, but that is not dangerous. The more he limits himself to his actual achievements, the less harm can the envious inflict on him.''

i got the first two answers, but the next two are confusing me now...

Yx

 

[hopex]

I think your questions and answers were on track until you asked how
to retreat because how to retreat is - do not call him do not see him
and wait 6-8 weeks - what happens here is a turnaround where you allow
him to be the pursuer.

If he does not hear from you or see you it will build a longing in him and
change his mentality. Once you have pursued a man who wants to pursue
this is what to do.

In the meanwhile educate your self read relationship books - the rules in
particular. The Yi has told you this is the way to revive your relationship
----- retreat and he will be attracted to you.

You read the books to see how to sustain a relationship. After all you would
not get eggs flour butter put in a pan and bake. You would do it in a sequence,
you would bake at right temperature and for correct length of time. Relationships
are an art.

 

[dragona]

I like to think of a relationship as of a dance, 2 people following the rythm of the same music both hearing together.