The I Ching Book of Jokes and Riddles

[rosada]

Inspired by 8.6
What was the Scarecrow's problem in the Wizard of Oz?

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8.6 He finds no head (brain) for holding together.
-Wilhelm
__________________________________________________________
Inspired by 10.1

What does K.I.S.S. stand for?
-----------------------------------------------
10.1
Simple conduct. Progress without blame.

 

[Tohpol]

31.3: “No, I don’t think you’re paranoid. I think you’re the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.” - Woody Allen, Deconstructing Harry

61.4: “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” - Woody Allen, Without Feathers

39.3: "Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock."

34.5: "He who outruns Jaguar is f***ing fast on feet."

 

[rosada]

5.5 - 11.

The P. C. version of an old war cry:

Eat, Drink and Be Merry for tomorrow we die - uh, no, that'll never sell... tell'em. Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we shall be at Peace!

60.1
Do you smoke after sex?
I don't know i never looked...

 

[charly]

21.5

Bites on dried lean meat.
Receives yellow gold.
Perseveringly aware of danger.
No blame.​

Wilhelm / Baynes

21.5 THE JOKE:

Biting dried meat, crunching golden nuggets.
Persevere, even aware of danger (danger of cracking the teeth, of course).
Blameless.​

ADVICE: Realize that the less the teeth, the more the gold.

And the meat? Weak is the flesh!

Don't you believe so?

Yours,


Charly
__________________________________
P.D.:
Now I know why we are paying steak price for hamburgers: there can be GOLD NUGGETS inside it.
Ch.

 

[rosada]

Not funny, Charley!

I just had to get a crown on my tooth after cracking it on a nut. Could a nut be considered "dried meat"?

21.5
Bites on dried almond.
Receives golden filling.
From now on I'll be more careful.
Not my fault!!

 

[Trojina]

Seasonal Joke Quiz




I know the answer, I know which line but do you ? The clue is in the angle of the dog's head.​

 

[Liselle]

16.3?

‘Enthusiasm gazing upward, regret.
Procrastination brings regret.’

But maybe not? The problem isn't just procrastination, it's that a snowman (who isn't Frosty ) will never be capable of playing with a dog.

44.3 [EDITED - as Trojina pointed out below, it's 4.3, not 44.3] might be a very literal description ("man of bronze" = inanimate object), or maybe 8.3, "seeking union with non-people".

But I think from your clue and the general idea of the cartoon and the line, 16.3 fits best. "Gazing upward" - if the dog waits for the snowman to play, he'll sit there forever, getting wet and cold, and he'll miss out on other opportunties for fun (not to mention his supper).

(I don't like 16.3. As with seemingly COUNTLESS other lines, when I get it, it's reminding me I'm doing things ALL WRONG. Thank you EVER so much for bringing it up, Trojina. )*






*joking! Things like this help bring lines (if not snowmen) to life.

 

[charly]

Not funny, Charley!

I just had to get a crown on my tooth after cracking it on a nut. Could a nut be considered "dried meat"?

21.5
Bites on dried almond.
Receives golden filling.
From now on I'll be more careful.
Not my fault!!

Hi, Rosada:

Nobody's perfect. Something alike passed to me.

The almond more than dried meat looks like A BONE HARD TO GNAW. But thinking it well the almond once was a fleshy fruit...

Charly

 

[Trojina]

16.3?

‘Enthusiasm gazing upward, regret.
Procrastination brings regret.’

Yes ! That's what I was thinking of :claps:

But maybe not? The problem isn't just procrastination, it's that a snowman (who isn't Frosty ) will never be capable of playing with a dog.

44.3 might be a very literal description ("man of bronze" = inanimate object), or maybe 8.3, "seeking union with non-people".

You mean 4.3 I presume as that is where the 'man of bronze' is....yes that might fit and also 8.3

But I think from your clue and the general idea of the cartoon and the line, 16.3 fits best. "Gazing upward" - if the dog waits for the snowman to play, he'll sit there forever, getting wet and cold, and he'll miss out on other opportunties for fun (not to mention his supper).

(I don't like 16.3. As with seemingly COUNTLESS other lines, when I get it, it's reminding me I'm doing things ALL WRONG. Thank you EVER so much for bringing it up, Trojina. )*

Yes. I once had a blinding insight into the upside of 16.3. I think it implies you can trust yourself. I once had it following a meeting where I'd fretted about speaking. In effect I waiting for a signal it was okay to speak but there was no need to wait for a cue. I could say what I needed to say without waiting for 'permission' . The enthusiasm, the creating of energy and momentum, can come from oneself, no need to wait for anyone else to provide it. In the case of the dog, well I suppose he can't throw his own stick but he could just go and find another stick thrower....or chase a few rabbits

 

[Liselle]

You mean 4.3 I presume as that is where the 'man of bronze' is....

Oops...fixed/edited.

I once had a blinding insight into the upside of 16.3.

Ohhh - thank you - that's similar to the point you once made to me about 27.1, the "magic tortoise" line.

Those sorts of insights are among my favorite Yi-things - when a line you'd only thought of in one way (often "yelling" in my case) comes to light in a whole different way.

 

[rosada]

Before posting this joke I asked the I Ching what hexagram it should be filed under and received 7. The Army where "everything revolves around a central objective."

So...

7.

How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Monkeys screw in trees.

 

[Trojina]

oh yeah good idea tell Yi the joke and then ask for a casting to go with the joke

okay here goes



How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb ?

It depends how much the light bulb wants to change.


I wouldn't say Yi laughed out loud....more of a wry grin, 37.6

 

[rosada]

"It depends on how much the light bulb wants to change."

Wilhelm:

37.6
His work commands respect.
In the end good fortune comes.

"Commands respect" and "good fortune": this indicates that ONE MAKES DEMANDS FIRST OF ALL UPON ONESELF.

 

[charly]

Wilhelm / Baynes translation of 21.2 says:

«Bites through tender meat, so that his nose disappears. No blame.»

I always wondered TO WHOM BELONGED THE NOSE, but carefully reading W/B commentaries is clear that it belonged to the bitten one.

From the commentaries:

«... one encounters a hardened sinner, and, aroused by anger, one goes a little too far. »
SAY, BEING ANGRY TO BLOT OUT THE NOSE IS BUT A LITTLE EXCESS, EVEN MORE...

«... there is no great harm in this, because the penalty as such is just.»
OF COURSE YOU CAN ACCETP IT IF THE NOSE IS NOT THE YOURS!

Who did say that it's just? Is it plain law or jungle's law?

To bite people is but a sportive behavior for people that adhere to the Tyson / Suarez law. nothing serious.

Tyson was disqualified because the referee didn't cast the coins, nobody's perfect. Maybe he didn't even hear about the I Ching. Old wisdom is not for every one. (1)

Even more, sometimes lone rangers have problems imposing deserved penalties, like Suarez suffering pain in his teeth, or maybe a gesture of disgust, maybe the meat was not tasty. (2)


Source: CBCNews
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/why-luis-suarez-bites-like-a-delinquent-toddler-1.2687951

Sometimes our actions come back onto ourselves. It can be a good reason for not biting noses, although just, it can be dangerous for ourselves.

At least I believe so...

Yours,

Charly

______________________________
(1) Or maybe he didn't get 21.2. Even is possible that Tyson belonged to 21.6 that says nothing about biting but only about injured ears. Horrible!
(2) Suarez didn't bite but tender meat, realize how more disgusting would it be if biting and chewing a nose wich can hardly be clean!
Ch.

 

[iams girl]

Wilhelm / Baynes translation of 21.2 says:

«Bites through tender meat, so that his nose disappears. No blame.»

I always wondered TO WHOM BELONGED THE NOSE, but carefully reading W/B commentaries is clear that it belonged to the bitten one.

I think Hilary describes it well as the biter's nose disappears in the food due to eating with such gusto: "With your nose in the food, you're not sniffing at it to check for decay" (Memorizing threads 21.2).

Maybe now-a-days it's more like saying "biting someone's head off" to describe someone reacting to a situation in an uncalled for overly-harsh way even if they are right about things.

 

[charly]

Hi, Iams Girl:

I like too much the image of sinking the nose, even more, I believe that it is the literal sense and not a joke.

The punishing ideology behind W/B is not innocent but looks like a joke because of the effort put in trying to justify it.

Of course the traditional chinese text allows a sexual pun, but that's another story.
Maybe H.21, the carnal hexagram was but about BITES OF LOVE.

Yours,


Charly

 

[iams girl]

Oh geez, your alternate universe of perspective can't help but make me smile

 

[charly]

Oh geez, your alternate universe of perspective can't help but make me smile

Hi, Iams:

I believe that if something can make smile it also could help depending on circumstances.

Many translations and interpretations put the focus in appropriate PUNISHMENT with no blame. But do you believe that biting and chewing someone's nose could be appropriate? Even for the punisher it can be something disgusting.

Hilary's point of view can be more helping and even literal.

Time ago I've posted this image;

Bite a large chunk of meat which touched your nose.
No bad things at present.​

Li Yan: «The Illustrated Book of Changes»

It was posted here: http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...e-Yi-is-out-and-I-hate-it&p=217006#post217006

The thread is about Hinton's translation that is, I believe, a big joke itself.

Something to think: the chinese received text and a literal translation of 21.2:

噬膚滅鼻
shi4 fu1 mie4 bi2
BITING TENDER-MEAT SINKING NOSE
Biting tender meat, sinking one's nose in it.

无咎
wu2 jiu4
NO WRONG.
Nothing wrong,
although under some point of view it can seem so.

​

滅 mie4 means to SUFFOCATE or to EXTINGUISH FIRE and, by extension, to SUBMERGE, to SINK, that is the sense here used.(1)

膚 fu1 means SKIN, it was translated TENDER MEAT in Wilhelm / Baynes, nothing like dried or bony meat or like toes, noses and ears. Nothing disgusting even maybe erotic.

肌膚之親 blood relations, intimate relations between man and woman.
Lin Yutang: English-Chinese Online Dictionary
Source: http://humanum.arts.cuhk.edu.hk/cgi-bin/agrep-lindict?query=%a6%d9&category=wholerecord

But some sensible people may find preferable CORPORAL PUNISHMENT and not CARNAL SIN.(2)

The JOKE IS THAT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN ONLY WITH 21.2 but also with 21.1, 21.3, 21.4, 21.5 and 21.6 !!! All the hexagram is CARNIVORE!!!


All the best,


Charly
____________________________
1) Of course, to EXTINGUISH FIRE can be seen as a metaphor meaning QUENCHING PASSION, but that's another story.

2) AN IMAGE BETWEEN UNDESERVED PUNISHMENT AND CARNAL SIN.
Bela Lugosi just for jumping into 21.2

Source: http://vamped.org/2014/11/30/vampire-films-bela-lugosi/
​

It illustrates how can a nose sink into tender flesh when biting it.

Of course, I doubt that this image belonged to a STORY OF LOVE. It's ONLY A JOKE, maybe A BAD ONE.

Ch.

 

[iams girl]

But some sensible people may find preferable CORPORAL PUNISHMENT and not CARNAL SIN.(2)

The JOKE IS THAT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN ONLY WITH 21.2 but also with 21.1, 21.3, 21.4, 21.5 and 21.6 !!! All the hexagram is CARNIVORE!!!

Truly a book for saints and sinners alike .

 

[charly]

Truly a book for saints and sinners alike .

Hi, Iams:

Some people believe that sinners get in H.21 deserved punishment.
Suarez coming back in 21.6:

​

NEW IDEA ON PREVENTIVE PUNISHMENT:
Carrying something that covers the ears. Not a white collar but something HORRIBLE!!!

Of course, about biting ears better ask Tyson.


Yours,

Charly

 

[peterg]

About Li Yan (post#48) here is the direct link to the I Ching page at Labirinto Ermetico. There are a few other free downloads incl. Jou Tsung Hwa, Huang, Lynne, etc.
http://www.labirintoermetico.com/09IChing/

About Suarez, I wonder what they did or said to him during the world cup match that made him bite. I bet they were having a laugh.

 

[peterg]

After reading a book about food allergies I drew up a list of 'suspects' and asked the I Ching about them one at a time.
When I got to Bacon? the I Ching said 'Make sincerity your ''beacon''...'
I forget which translation or line. Might have been Blofeld.

How many buckets of spit does it take to cover a football field ?
About 22.
Theyre all doing it.
45.6 ?

Joey Barton trying to provoke another player into getting sent off
http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/28036237

 

[peterg]

After reading a book about food allergies I drew up a list of 'suspects' and asked the I Ching about them one at a time.
When I got to Bacon? the I Ching said 'Make sincerity your ''beacon''...'
I forget which translation or line. Might have been Blofeld.

It was Blofeld on 17.4
'Following with an ulterior motive.To persist thus, misfortune. But if as he goes his way he makes sincerity his beacon, what harm ?'

Because I was leaning towards vegetarianism at the time, I prefer a more literal word for word translation and the general meaning of not going along with others on this one, but to go your own way.

'To go along with having the catch (the game seized in the hunt). Unfortunate.
Sincere trust dao made clear, what harm ?'

I also got this about an offer which was made to many but somehow bypassed me. I let it pass.

 

[rosada]

Hexagram 2.2

Seen on a t-shirt:

"If you fall, I'll be there.
- The Floor"

 

[Trojina]

 

[rosada]

Inspired by 30. Clarity

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are camping outdoors. Holmes rolls over in his sleeping bag and says to his companion, "Look up Watson and tell me what you see and what you think it means."
"Ah," says Watson as he surveys the night sky, "I see stars and planets and the light of suns from millions of miles beyond. It fills me with awe and wonder at the vastness of time and space. What does it mean to you, Holmes?'
"It means someone stole our tent."

 

[charly]

Another meaning for H.2?

The content of the source is chinese for me, but the image speaks:

Source: Dreamstime
Link; http://cn.dreamstime.com/库存图片-通配西部的海报-image17836274
​

Upper (outer) cowboy mounting a she horse, meaning going to his destiny carried by a female.
Lower (inner) a pair of crossed guns, 6-bullet each, phallic, of course, means fated duel between two men.

The perseverance of a woman carrying a man to fight. Love leading to war.

H.2 is mainly paradoxical.

It doesn't seem a joke.

But «things are not what they seem»: it's a joke!


Charly

 

[rosada]

16. Enthusiasm.
Judgement:
What did the shepard say to his sheep dog?
"Let's get the flock out of here!"

 

[rosada]

Hexagram 38.2. “Meeting a master in the lane. Not a mistake.”
Did you ever hear about the two corpuscles who loved in vein?