The Talk - 26.3.4>38 and 36.1>15

[kafuka]

Hello everyone, I really appreciate your insight so thank you for reading. :bows:

I do have a problem with having "the Talk" with my boyfriend.
I really need to tell him about my sex same attraction but every time I try I chicken out. I just see how much he loves me and it makes me feel guilty for every feeling I have, or don't have, now. I know it is the right thing to tell him but I'm so scared of his reaction. Ugh.

I asked Yi: What should I do to be able to tell him?
I got: 26.3.4

I read in the memorizing thread "How do I 18? -26."
Interesting thing is that I received 18 unchanging two weeks ago when I asked if I should tell him in August. I saw that reading as a yes, as an opportunity to finally "fix what is not right".

About yesterday's reading, I'm not sure if I should see hexagram 38 as a description of the current situation when I feel disconnected from him, or if it means I can expect opposition between our views.
26.3 could say something like, well, you care about him so it's natural you don't want to hurt him and are scared to tell him. Things may be difficult, but it's good to keep going on. You can do it, just be careful, it's a good idea to have some kind of plan. One step at a time, remember?
26.4 speaks about some kind of a precaution, about keeping it under control while it's in its early stage. I'm not sure how this could be applied on my situation though.
Maybe I could send him an email and explain beforehand that there's something I need to discuss and ask him to choose when he wants to hear it. Does it sound stupid? I'm so lost...

I also asked: When is the best time to tell him? And got 36.1>15.
I don't get any hint from this line but read that 36 speaks of ways to act when times are not favorable. I like Hilary's key question: When no one is looking, who are you?
It reminds me of the 49 hexagram I received earlier. I really feel like I've outgrown my skin and need to shed it to allow myself room for growth; to allow myself to be myself, and not just when no one is looking.

 

[pocossin]

What should I do to be able to tell him?
26.3.4 > 38

Prepare to discuss it. If you enter into Bing How to tell my boyfriend I'm bisexual, you will find many practical suggestions.

 

[anemos]

my impression is that both 38 and 15 refer to your state rather than the relationship with him. its not about the When , imo, but about the What. When you have that What clear , the time for When will appear.

 

[kafuka]

@pocossin @anemos Thank you very much.

Yes, you're right. I need to prepare myself and it's really about "When you have that What clear, the time for When will appear."
I wish to know what to tell him... how much to tell him. The difference is I had the whole year to contemplate it and get comfortable about the idea of not being straight but when I tell him it'll be like a bombshell. They say "honesty is the best policy" but I think there are things I better not to tell him because they'd hurt him even more, I suppose, but on the other hand without telling him I lose the biggest arguments in case he doesn't believe me. I feel so fake.

I asked Yi: What should I tell him?
I received: 23.4>35.

The 35 calms me down a little but I don't like the line much even though I don't understand its meaning fully.
23.4 Here the disaster affects not only the resting place but even the occupant. No warning or other comment is added. Misfortune has reached its peak: it can no longer be warded off.

 

[kafuka]

Just a feedback. I told him on Sunday and he was understanding.
Btw 3 weeks ago I asked what his reaction would be once I tell him and got 53.5>52. I don't know if Yi showed me my bf's point of view (he believes we can work it out eventually what I'm not quite sure about), or the overall situation of the relationship (Huang says: Nothing can conquer their love, and ultimately there's a good fortune.) Telling him was surely a progress.