Three relationship questions

[spacedoll]

First off, this is my first time posting! Hello y'all, and greetings from Texas!
I have to say thank you to everyone who contributes here; I use an on-line program to cast my I-Ching quite regularly, and usually a simple search of these forums gives me the insight I need to interpret my reading for myself. The last reading I did (just now ) is a little more complex, though. First off, I will relate just a little background info on the relationship in question. Mr.X and I have known each other since grade school, and I've always had an enormous crush on him, but we haven't become friends until recently. This friendship is remarkable to me and beyond anything I ever expected from him. It turns out we are very similar people, with similar beliefs, personalities, and problems. I know that he is interested in me physically, and although there are some (large) obstacles to the growth of our relationship, I believe we might have the opportunity to forge something great here if we decide to take it further. Generally, we communicate on-line, and I do read my I-Ching when I have not yet decided what to message next. This time, however, I took some advice I saw in another thread, and asked these questions (and got these responses):
1. What is the relationship between X and I? 28.2.4.5.6 >> 52
2. What is my position in the relationship? 8.4.5 >> 16
3. What is his position in the relationship? 31.2.2 >> 48

I would like opinions and interpretations, please!
Also, I would be happy to provide further details, as this post is already too long to add more here! Thanks for any reply.

 

[marien]

Welcome spacedoll,

Looks like there's a lot of intensity in this relationship. To me, 28 > 52 shows overwhelming emotions with no outlet for expression. There's an immediate need to find balance here, perhaps through communication or through accepting those obstacles you mentioned. There's a strong connection here (28.2, 28.5) but you and he need to address the situation (28.4) so that you avoid the danger of 28.6.

8.4.5 > 16 shows enthusiasm for union, though perhaps you're waiting on his actions.

31.2.4 > 48 (you put 31.2.2, but you meant 31.2.4?) I think shows that he is indeed deeply attracted, though maybe overwhelmed and unfocused. Looks like he wants to be with you, but doesn't know how to make it happen. (48 shows potential for a rich connection, but one needs to be able to reach the water first.)

I've found advice questions to be the most helpful. Maybe ask Yi how you should approach the relationship (and/or deal with those obstacles you mentioned). Sounds like a potentially great relationship, though delicate at the moment.

Best of luck!
Mary

 

[spacedoll]

Thank you so much, Marien. Yes, I absolutely meant 31.2.4!
Usually, I do ask action (or advice) questions; that is probably why I needed help with this more ambiguous reading. The part about my enthusiasm was obvious to me, but the rest was rather confusing, so your help is wonderful. I do think you are correct about needing to figure this out soon.
I will relate a little more of our "story". X is a marine reservist, and just before we became friends (two years ago), he married his girlfriend in fear that he would not come back alive from his first deployment to Iraq. He realizes now that this was a mistake, and he feels like it is unfair to keep his wife (who loves him unconditionally) stuck in this unequal relationship. You see, after some disastrous relationships, he believes he cannot love. He knows he does not love her like she loves him, yet he does not want to hurt her. I will relate a little something that may put me in danger of wide disapproval, but this place seems to be full of open-minded people, so what the heck! X and I do not really believe in the superiority of monogamous relationships. I think that may be what has helped him open up to me. I do not judge his "wandering", as I think that it is only natural and acceptable. I do not think he ever expected to find this attitude in a woman, and I believe I am helping him to accept himself in ways he never could before. He has cheated on his wife, but not with me. Wow, I hope I don't make enemies out of strangers, here!
The last message I sent to X, I told him that it doesn't matter to me whether he is married or not, but to postpone the divorce that he has been contemplating almost since he got married until after his next deployment (in a few months) would be a sign of cowardice and would be cruel to his wife. To make her wait for those seven months because he might die is ridiculous; he is wasting her time.
By the way, I don't want him to leave his wife and marry me! I have found that relationships where I live day in and day out with my partner inevitably end in boredom, disillusion, and fighting. I am too independent to want someone to take care of me, and too addicted to a complete lack of scheduling to want to take care of someone else. I want him to have his independence, too, and I think that might be what makes me most attractive to him. Ooof, I hope I'm not coming off as bad as it sounds to me!
Hopefully my last message will give him the incentive to take some action, or at least encourage him to let me help him figure this out. Thanks!