To go or not to go

[hope]

There will be a great gathering coming up soon and I've been invited to attend. Personally I do not feel up to it, so I consulted I-Ching just to affirm my decision by asking "What if I'm to attend the coming gathering and I've gotten 21.2 and 21.4 and changes to 41.

Seems to me that I-Ching was agreeing it is better not for me to go or is there more to it?

Can anyone share their generous interpretations with me?

 

[void]

Perhaps the answer is pointing towards your reason for not going..anything to do with feeling angry with someone, punishing someone by not turning up, showing disdain ? I don't know, I'm aiming in the dark but if its simply that you feel tired or just not sociable I can't make sense of the answer - as the answer seems to me to point to an 'issue' to be dealt with.

You must be an anticipating an effect of not going on others I guess or you wouldn't ask ?

Hmm cutting off your nose to spite your face ? If by any chance you're not going to show disapproval to someone then seems maybe you're going too far and would benefit by reducing any feelings of resentment or anger.

Thats the only angle I can see, otherwise I don't understand how it applies. Maybe someone else will ?

To sum up my sense is not that Yi is supporting your decision not to go, its asking you to examine your reason for not going.

 

[soshin]

I am with Void. Let me just add a few more words:

After your self-examination we probably will see you at the gathering, don't you think so? I wouldn't even say that the Yi's advice on attending the gathering would be - not to go...

See the two small bowls which are plenty to make up for the otherwards poor appearance of it all.

And the words of the commentary to 41: It is through the reduction of the mean powers in oneself that the loftier parts of the soul gets enrichened.

 

[hope]

Aye, there is certainly a reason behind of it for me not wanting to go. You are both right Void and Soshin. So how am I to phrase a question correctly that will enable me to make a decision of attending the fuction or not?

 

[hope]

Sorry to post immediately again. Ok I phrase my question in this way 'What if I do not attend the gathering because of this person' and I got 3.1 and 3.5 which changes to 2 which I interpret it as NOT to go if I feel so strongly about it. Would that be a better interpretation? As I find 3 itself is already difficult and I have no energy or enthusiasm to wait for things to smooth it out because I find it is not worth my time to wait.

 

[jesed]

Hi Hope

Just in case the comment could be useful

This is what I would do, if I would be in your case.

1.- First: meditatation. Searching for the impulse to go (and why) and the impulse to not-go (and why)

2.- Contrast the reasons to go against the reasons to not-go.

3.- Write them as context. Example: "Context: I'm invited for a gathering. I would enjoy meeting old friends, but I hesitate on going because I don't want to meet X".

4.- Phrase and write the question: "What is the best for me to do in this context, related to the invitation?"

5.- Toss the coins; and read the answer.

6.- Understand the answer no like "yes/no", but like:
what is the situation/how I am now within that situation/best course of action for me to do/goal to achieve for my own good.

I'd found this kind of aproach give clearest interpretations.

Best wishes

 

[soshin]

Wonderfully stated, Jesed.

@ Hope: I doubt the real question is to go or not to go. I am sure you will benefit from a practice like the one Jesed recommended. I most certainly do.

Warmly,

Soshin

 

[bruce]

Agreeing with all of the above.

Another thought for you, Hope. 41 relinquishes individual benefit for the sake of the whole, or in other words, think beyond yourself. That is the offered sacrifice. In this case that could say 'consider the benefit to everyone if you go, not limiting the consideration to you or the person you'd like to avoid.' Then good fortune comes.

If I got this reading, I?d see it as telling me that there are rewards for bravery and sacrifice.

 

[void]

Hi Hope glad to see you've got some really good responses. Just wanted to say the fact that you got 21 does mean I think that there is an issue of contention between you and another and it does need to be dealt with. As I understand 21 its a time when you are advised to take corrective action if someone has abused you in any way - its not a time to sit back and let it go. However line 2 did suggest you may be being just a little harsh, and as others have said 41 does advise a reduction in negative emotions. So looks like your real question is not to do with the event its about how to deal with this issue with this other person.

As you got 3, 1 and 5 I was wondering if it was someone new to your group who you need to let settle in a bit ? I don't know but 3 with lines 1 and 5 does suggest its a good time to keep friends around as helpers ? If I were you I would focus on the way you want things to go with this other person and follow Jeseds excellent suggestions.

 

[hope]

Yes indeed Void. Jessed advices are indeed golden. The rest of you guys are equally wonderful.I should visit this site more often to read more so to broaden my indepth of I-Ching. But as I age I've also change my outlook in life. Despite I DO KNOW I'm doing things correctly but I've no interest in any sort of confrontation. I prefer to retreat as I feel at my age something in life is really not that important to challenge anymore. Afterall those are young people. Why want to argue anymore. One could say I sounded like I've surrendered or taken the coward way out but I would prefer to see it as gentle retreat. Besides I do not depend on others to make me happy.

Thank you and peace be with you all