Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
poeticwalking
visitor
- Joined
- May 13, 2018
- Messages
- 51
- Reaction score
- 15
It's been just about a year into an amazing relationship! My boyfriend is amazing, we are very in love.
Even tho we are not too different in age (38 vs 43) he is in a much better financial situation- I got a couple degrees, did the self-exploration thing, he dropped out of college since he felt he was wasting $ and has been working hard at a day job he doesn't love (tho enjoys doing a good job at- it's just not his "dream job"). We are similar in that we started investing at the same age (38) but dissimilar in that he bought a house when he was 30. We have talked about me moving in to his house in the suburbs- he doesn't want to charge me rent since it's his investment and we wouldn't be married yet (tho we started talking about M word more lately). I like his house just ok (couple things but unsure if I'd have the issue if location was different) but as we are getting closer to doing something like moving in together (something we discussed couple months ago when I had to leave a place, and either move with him or get a new place- we decided it was too soon) I am having a lot of anxiety. I don't own a car and don't really want to, I really like living in the city and doing public transit/bike/walking. All of my friends live in the city most don't have cars, I'm worried about feeling isolated in the suburbs, which I told him. He said he's definitely understanding my point of view more as we hang out here (we had a good 4 month period I didn't even go to his place, kept coming here since more to do, or more convenient). I can understand why he might not want to tho, feeling very settled.
In the months before I met him (over a year ago), I was very determined to move out of a bad roommate situation and save for a house. Everything got put on hold once we met including this grant program for low-income people who want to buy. There was a waiting list and I basically forgot after a bit of following up with no answer. Now they just called me a week ago and said they can get me in ASAP, I guess they lost then found my application. It's really good, they match 2:1 up to $2000 in savings over 6 months. My boyfriend and I had a big talk about things. Unfortunately he is trying to quit his job asap but is having trouble finding a new one. So a lot of things up in the air and he is VERY stressed with that. He really didn't understand quite how much I am feeling anxious about moving to his place until now. Also we just realized it will double to triple my commute plus everything I wrote above. All this is really bad timing. I found out there's a town that's still suburby but also right on a train line into the city, that actually is very affordable, and can't get this out of my mind. I would be comfortable to buy something on my budget and let him take time to decide what he wants to do, I had my time to self-explore, now I'm finally in this kinda nesting/saving mode at least in my way.
I asked Yi "What is the best course of action to take right now due to this anxiety about buying a house or not"
Got 52.4.6
Ooook, Yi- so I am interpreting this as, chill the F out, make sure I say my piece and be real with what I want/need to feel comfy about home, and maybe even make preparations (like to do the home program or not) and then just let it go for a while. I found out I can use the home program for either state (we live in different states, tho not crazy far), worst is that I don't buy a place/complete the matching program, and I get my money back, tho without 6 months of interest. Best is that I am prepared to do something that can benefit me and also him too hopefully. But yeah, just do it, and not make a big deal, and chill. Maybe mine or his perspectives will change or be clearer with time.
Any other thoughts on reading this?
Even tho we are not too different in age (38 vs 43) he is in a much better financial situation- I got a couple degrees, did the self-exploration thing, he dropped out of college since he felt he was wasting $ and has been working hard at a day job he doesn't love (tho enjoys doing a good job at- it's just not his "dream job"). We are similar in that we started investing at the same age (38) but dissimilar in that he bought a house when he was 30. We have talked about me moving in to his house in the suburbs- he doesn't want to charge me rent since it's his investment and we wouldn't be married yet (tho we started talking about M word more lately). I like his house just ok (couple things but unsure if I'd have the issue if location was different) but as we are getting closer to doing something like moving in together (something we discussed couple months ago when I had to leave a place, and either move with him or get a new place- we decided it was too soon) I am having a lot of anxiety. I don't own a car and don't really want to, I really like living in the city and doing public transit/bike/walking. All of my friends live in the city most don't have cars, I'm worried about feeling isolated in the suburbs, which I told him. He said he's definitely understanding my point of view more as we hang out here (we had a good 4 month period I didn't even go to his place, kept coming here since more to do, or more convenient). I can understand why he might not want to tho, feeling very settled.
In the months before I met him (over a year ago), I was very determined to move out of a bad roommate situation and save for a house. Everything got put on hold once we met including this grant program for low-income people who want to buy. There was a waiting list and I basically forgot after a bit of following up with no answer. Now they just called me a week ago and said they can get me in ASAP, I guess they lost then found my application. It's really good, they match 2:1 up to $2000 in savings over 6 months. My boyfriend and I had a big talk about things. Unfortunately he is trying to quit his job asap but is having trouble finding a new one. So a lot of things up in the air and he is VERY stressed with that. He really didn't understand quite how much I am feeling anxious about moving to his place until now. Also we just realized it will double to triple my commute plus everything I wrote above. All this is really bad timing. I found out there's a town that's still suburby but also right on a train line into the city, that actually is very affordable, and can't get this out of my mind. I would be comfortable to buy something on my budget and let him take time to decide what he wants to do, I had my time to self-explore, now I'm finally in this kinda nesting/saving mode at least in my way.
I asked Yi "What is the best course of action to take right now due to this anxiety about buying a house or not"
Got 52.4.6
Ooook, Yi- so I am interpreting this as, chill the F out, make sure I say my piece and be real with what I want/need to feel comfy about home, and maybe even make preparations (like to do the home program or not) and then just let it go for a while. I found out I can use the home program for either state (we live in different states, tho not crazy far), worst is that I don't buy a place/complete the matching program, and I get my money back, tho without 6 months of interest. Best is that I am prepared to do something that can benefit me and also him too hopefully. But yeah, just do it, and not make a big deal, and chill. Maybe mine or his perspectives will change or be clearer with time.
Any other thoughts on reading this?