...life can be translucent

Menu

true love (for only one girl)

brightshadow

visitor
Joined
Jan 7, 2013
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
Hello everyone,

First of all, I'd like to say that I'm highly impressed with the quality of the discussions on this forum and the level of warmth and supportiveness it contains. Although I've frequented countless messageboards throughout the years, I very rarely post anything. But this seems like one of a very few places on the internet where people treat each other like human beings, with compassion and thoughtfulness.

About Me

My name is Daniel and I'm a 26 year old immigration lawyer in Miami, FL. The I Ching has always had a presence in my life. As a child, my parents would consult the Book when making important decisions. I've been doing my own readings for about two years now and I think I've attained a fairly consistent level of efficiency in achieving intelligible (and accurate) answers, at least when I can formulate the question properly and devote the necessary focus to the process (I only use the yarrow stalks).

The Context

As with many of you here, the primary focus of (too) many of my readings is a romantic interest. Here's the story:

During the summer of 2010, I met the love of my life while working in East Africa. We had never met before but ended up living in the same house for a month. After a short time, I knew I was falling in love with her. I had been in love before, but I have never experienced a connection whose intensity is exceeded by constancy and certainty. This is the type of love I always believed existed only in stories. By the end of the month, I had reached a point of no return. It was a very difficult struggle, but through perseverance and faith, I was able to win her heart. The very last time we were together, she told me she loved me too.

The problem, of course, is that we live in different parts of the world. Also, I have just finished law school and begun my career while she is in the middle of college. We corresponded for a few months until her replies tapered off into silence. It's now been about a year since I heard from her.

Long story short, this girl has irrevocably raised my standards to. When I returned from Africa, I ended a 5+ year relationship I was in at the time that was very close to becoming a marriage. This is a decision I have never regretted in the 2+ years since then.

I have been heartbroken before, but this is qualitatively different. This is lovesickness. I've finally come to terms with the very likely possibility I will never see her again. But this experience has given me the clarity and will to settle for nothing less than a woman of her quality and character (or better).

As I'm sure many of you can understand, possessing a love that transcends space and time can feel like a divine blessing or a hellish curse. The only thing I'm sure of is that it has never wavered or diminished.

The Question

The last two questions I've asked revealed the same Hexagram: 39.2.3 (Obstruction).

The first question was: Is there anything I can do to increase the likelihood of being with her again?

The second was: Will I hear from her this year?

Now I KNOW these are rather unfruitful ways to consult Yi, generally. However, the fact that I got the same exact answer for both seems revealing, especially considering Mencius' commentary on the gua:

"If one loves others, and they do not respond in the same way, one should turn inward and examine one's own love."

This seems pretty clear. But the reason I'm asking for your input on this is that Hex #39 is not an entirely discouraging reading. It seems to suggest that, although the current situation is characterized by obstruction, these barriers may be overcome with time and the right conduct:

"The obstruction is not a lasting condition, hence everything in the hexagram is centered on overcoming it...The obstruction is overcome not by pressing forward into danger nor by idly keeping still, but by retreating, yielding." (Wilhelm)

The Image seems to suggest that through productive self-reflection (and, thereby, self-improvement), the obstacle may be overcome:

"Water on the mountain:
The image of Obstruction.
Thus the superior man turns his attention to himself
And molds his character." (Wilhelm)

Have any of you obtained similar readings in this type of situation?

Thank you for your insight.
 
Last edited:

fallada

visitor
Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
87
Reaction score
24
Obstacles can be inward or outward.

To overcome the obstacle in 39 may start with realising, that the only way out leads through doors we do not want to take.
 

kkappa

visitor
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
187
Reaction score
10
I've also had the same impression (and personal experience) as fallada - the only way out of this obstruction is to leave it behind. In other words, let go of this woman and simply cherish the experience that you had.

39.2 stick to your duty which is your career
39.3 there may be something going on with her that is beyond your control anyway, so you are really better off focusing on you
 

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top