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union and adversity

gracia

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hello!

i was ssking about how to deal with my lover, for the best way of action....

i had 45 1,2,5,6>38.

Many changing lines, two on the earth two on the spirit, that creates many doubts and a contradictory related hexagram..... it can say to seek the union without lost our identity, or it can says that the union is no complete as we are like the two sisters with differents aims that live togheter. (by the way, we have in program to live togheter in december)
is there someine that like to give me his or her opinion about thismweird combination?

thanks

gracia
 

ginnie

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First of all you need to become clear in your own mind about what is the glue that holds you two together, what this relationship is all about. Is there a common cause or deeply held belief system that holds you together? When you come to understand what are the goals you share, you will be able to stop hesitating and make a commitment. That is what line one means.

The other lines follow from line one. Line two indicates that there are larger forces (or Fate) at work and to give in to the impulse to join together, but a sacrifice of some kind will be required. I'll leave it at that, because you seem to be located right now in the position of line 1, hesitation.
:)
 

gene

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Gracie

Hexagram thirty eight would indicate to me that you are feeling a little estranged from your lover. Hexagram forty five line one, as ginnie says, indicates a great deal of confusion within you.

However, the commentary on line two of hexagram forty five says, "There are secret forces at work, bringing those together who belong together." We must try to not obsess too much over periods when things are not going well. Often women expect a lot more out of a relationship than a man does. The second line corresponds with the fifth, so it is likely the second line refers to you and the fifth to him. The commentary on the fifth line says, "Gain their confidence through steadfast, unswerving devotion to duty." The sixth line as well says, that in expressing yourself deeply and strongly, it may bring the other person to their senses. I think this is the key, is letting him know exactly how you feel about things. Of course it is possible there is more to the story than we see here, but that is how I see it.

Gene
 

ginnie

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I Ching commentaries say that it is natural that line 2 (you) should want to get together with line 5 (him), as they are attracted and rightly so.

Line 6 for me has often had the meaning of shedding tears as an expression of true feeling, and this invariably has brought me closer to the other.
 

gracia

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weird.... i was answering with a long messagge and i lost it forever and now i've got not time to writte it again :(

Anyway i'm asking me about your way of reading. I always read the first hexagram as the present situation, then the changing lines as mutations, as steps of a ladder that leads you to the next situation, the correleted hexagram. Why are you reading in the other way round'?= i dont understand...

So in this case 45 was our desire to gathering togheter. we were feeling like something out of us, some divine forces were at work in our relation, but now i just get bored and i think that was a nice illusion far from reality. it 's true that we understand each other , but we are at the same valley unable to show other lands to the other. we both are boring, and even our sexual relation isnt working..so if there is a lack of sex and affect to all the rest, maybe is because was anything else putting us togheter ...
i even asked( i feel ashemed about this question but i 'm going to shared it anyway)
if he is the one to have a child ...and i got 47,6> 6 Ic talks about all my mind ghosts, and then conflict. Can it be the moment were we are now?

anyway, thanks a lot for your time to answer .

love, gracia
 

meng

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the correleted hexagram. Why are you reading in the other way round'?= i dont understand...

The Correlated hexagram. Now there's one I hadn't yet heard; but it's not far off from The Related hexagram, is it?

To me, it's a chicken or egg came first kind of thing. There wouldn't be one without the other.
 

jbutler

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ginnie--I like your answer and wanted to convey that to you. :)
 

gene

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gracia

I am not sure who you mean is reading it the other way around. The relating hexagram is often the background. But it doesn't matter. I just give the answer in the way that I think will convey the meaning in the best way. The changing lines are the transition all right, but when there are multiple changing lines it can be very complex, and I just hit the highlights, the aspects which I thought would be more pertinent to your case.

The question is, does the answer I gave make sense to you? If not, my apologies, and hopefully I will do better next time. I most of the time do not answer unless I am pretty sure of the answers. But occasionally someone will disagree. I take my answers seriously and do NOT want to give bad advice. It can hurt someone. Hopefully you can get something out of my reading. I wish you the best.

Gene
 

gracia

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gene, i liked your answer, please, don't missunderstand me. i really appreciated and helped me.

i 'm just asking not to offend anyone , i really sorry if i did it because i liked your answer and i really apreciated that you were answer me.
i just asked because i want to learn to understand better the IC, that's all.
Maybe my english is not so good and i'm writting in a weird way. I really sorry...
....saying the other way round i just wanted to mean to see the the second hexagram as a start situation and not as a result, but not to offend you, it 's just something new to me that i like and i want to undertand how it works


Actually i was thinking as Meng wrotte that have to be something like the chicken and the egg... Looks more a work of intuition and knowledgen than a fix rule.

thanks anyway for answering me again

love
 

ginnie

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The second hexagram is also called the relating hexagram. It shows the way you are related to the question you are asking. It could represent the background, the context, the desired goal, what you want the result to be. And it could also represent the actual result.

So if Gene started with the relating hexagram, that means he was probably starting with the background, as he understood it, which is a logical place to start.

Personally, I'm like you. I like to keep the focus of attention on the primary hexagram and the moving lines as a general rule.

You said you were bored right now in your relationship and I just want to say, who hasn't been bored when in a relationship, even with someone very dear. I think the thing to do is think about what is the glue that holds you together with him. Are you both members of the same group or church, for example? These sorts of affiliations can be very powerful influences in our lives. Try to think of what drew you two together in the first place ... the shared goals that made the relationship "click."
:)
 

gracia

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Thanks for your answer :)

i was thinking about the way many of us are using IC as a divinatory oracle in relationships, where we feel unsure, when our ghost shine more than never confronted to the other as a mirror is limited to our ego and the unconciuos desire of control of something that goes further our control, that is the life's flowing .
The lecture of related hexagram as a present atmosphere give us a point of view more reflexive, constraining us to see inside instead of outside, to be more in the present that in the fog of a future that have to be build today.

It's a really interesting point of view ...

thanks for the input :bows::bows::bows:

ps: relation updating : we have a talk and thinks get better... still don't knowing what glue us togheter and realising that i'm getting afraid about building togheter and then be betrayed, fear product of past experience! in the past i have asked IC about this relation and i remember clearly as the book was telling me to dont use the same old mind structure this time. i should do it ;)
 

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