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Greenkid

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Can any one help me quickly please
A son wanted to be a child carer. He's been given a child (not what he asked for) and has since completely gone to pieces. I am worried about him. I asked 'Y' what should be done today to ease his distress, 'Y' answered with H. 44 unchanged. He has had 44 before and I told him to GET RID. Any quick ideas please. Thankyou
 

angelatlantis14

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Hi Meigga,
I agree with your initial assesment - hex 44 to me has very little to do with an actual woman / relationship, but really to me says that there are influences at work that are too strong to overcome, at least right now. Not knowing more about the background I think this is saying that your son should for now give up on the idea of careing for childern, at least for children that pose a challenge and require a more experienced, pedagogically trained care person. anyways, right now, your son cannot make any progress, and should step back, taking more preparation (are there classes for carers in this situation) and re-evaluate this career choice... in other words, pretty much what you have said already :)

best wishes

maui
 

Tim K

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what should be done?
Become a strong leader in this duo-dynamic. Demonstrate power and authority.

Make that child listen and behave properly. Opposing 24 shows idea of freedom, relaxed rules, so in 44 I see someone who is powerful and influences all around him like a whirlwind or whirlpool, or a dark hole (strong gravity field). But not with a brute force or a conflict of some kind, no, the influence is somewhat mild yet captures the subject completely in its net.
 

Greenkid

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Thank you so much maui and Tim for quick reply. The child Tim is apparently behaving vey well but my son is feeling fearful and tearful -Possible his own 'shortcomings' coming to the surface. At the moment I feel he must have the child removed. I am very worried about his psychological health.
 

Trojina

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Yes the child should be removed. But what kind of situation is this ? I can't imagine...it sounds like he has been given a foster child but social services wouldn't do that if your son wasn't psychologically fit. You don't mean the child is his own child do you ? In which case 'get rid' doesn't seem to work so well
 

Greenkid

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Thank you Trogina. Yes it is a foster child. I have felt from the first that there is something not quite right in the situation that perhaps no-one knows about although I haven't met the child. As my mother used to say "he's too nice to be wholesome" My son has agreed (wrongly in my opinion) to keep him for another 2 weeks. More of your opinion I would be grateful for.
 

Trojina

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I think 44uc is a pretty unequivocal answer. This is not something to marry into. He cannot take care of this child long term. But maybe if it just for a few more weeks it may be okay ?

44 is an intrusion, something one cannot accommodate...and here literally it sounds like the poor child cannot be accommodated. I say 'poor child' not because he is with your son but because he has no one in is his own family to care for him and is being sent here and there to different people. How awful, very unsettling for him.

But this is the sort of situation where I now hesitate to say categorically 'the child must go' because this is such an important matter for both the child and your son. But there are positive aspects to 44's intrusion. It can fertilise, inspire and change things yet it isn't something to permanently wed oneself to.

Thinking of the child too is it possible they can both help each other in a way at this time, just for the next few weeks ? However if you fear for the situation and it's that extreme perhaps it is better if the child is removed. The thing is does your son want him removed ? If he does I'm sure the boy can be taken away if your son is not seen as a fit carer or rather if your son himself says he isn't a fit carer. Isn't he the one who was taking drugs not long ago and had a lung condition...or was that someone else ?
 

Greenkid

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Hello Trogina and thank you again. No this is another son. The one you recognised by the way has stopped the drugs and is listening to Mindfullness tapes and sounds very well. His lungs also seem to be ok. Thank you for caring.
I am waiting to hear from the son I am asking about. My Niece is a senior carer and a foster carer, she agrees with me that the child should not stay, whatever the reasons for my son's distress, and says also that my son should not be bullied or persuaded to keep the child. The child lost his mother 4 years ago and the father either lost it or something and the child does not want to be re-united with his father. From all accounts he seems to be a very happy, obedient, well-adjusted child, or so it seems. The original agreement was for my son to start with a younger child for a short term placement, instead of which he has been given an intelligent, very streetwise teenager who is spending most of his time with 'friends', and for potential 'longterm' I am very worried about my son and have just purchased more 'Rescue Remedy' for him.
 

Greenkid

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Dear Maui, Tim and Trogina. Thank you all so much for your help and understanding. The child has been taken to his friends home until they can place him elsewhere. The parting was friendly and amicable and the child said that he was very happy during the time he spent with my son. Whatever the reason was for the distress of my son is now, for the moment at least, removed. Maybe he has difficulties that need addressing which he has come to realise do need addressing. They say that everything happens for eventual good, I believe it does. Whatever it was it was a heavy load which has now been removed. Thank you all once again. With love and gratitude, meigga
 

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