Very different readings for the same question

[Brandon7]

This will be a quite lengthy post but I hope this helps me to find the best choice to take

I had found this one girl on a dating application she gave me her number she seemed normal at first well you cant tell someone's problems by talking with them during a few days anyway she started blocking me the first day (for maybe a logical reason, lack of trust from a stranger, but I didnt give anything that would lead her think that I was a bad person) i dont know I even tried to contact her to unblock me but I did, she unblocked me we were chatting a couple of weeks(she told me she had recently breakup with her ex who had cheated on her on a distance relationship) and I saw a pattern she seemed to block me for just having a different opinion about something I found myself apologizing for something I shouldn't have anyway, during this time I learned she was still hoping to come back with her ex and eveb she had plans to marry(yeah at 18y you dont really have plans to marry and have kids, to be honest that isnt the usual behavior in my country, she even told me she thought about suciding when she 3am up with him) not sure why I thought that apologizing for some opinions that caused that she blocked me was a normal behavior at one point like the 3rd week I think i started to feel something for her and instead apologizing this time I told her how much she meant to me, and she seemed to change her behavior to some sort of attraction maybe it was emotional but I found she seemed more sexually needed than anything else, also i found some odd behavior like sudden change of opinion in matter of hours or max a day) like she blocked me once because she wanted to go back with her ex and the next day unblocked me and told me she thinks he doesnt lover her(when she told me the opposite 24h before), since the quarantine didnt allowed us to meet in person most of the communication was with chats or video calls somehow after that week she blocked me once again but this time she seemed to lose interest and become more distant on purpose as giving to understand that she didnt want anything with me and even more the next week, until now that she doesnt want me to text her as often or call her, not going into details but she told me she was sexually abused as a kid, her father left them when she was 5years,I didnt seem to care for those things but I notice now why she had this needy sexual behavior, low self steem, anxiety, and thinking that men were filthy animals, well I trisd to be different with her when I meet her i tried to talk her from my emotions and how much she meant to me but doing this was probably feeding her ego and attention seeking behavior she now only seem to contact me when she wants to feel better because, days ago she messaged me that I wouldnt need to worry about her if she disappeared for a few days later 5min I wasnt at the phone she sends me she feels like she doesnt have a meaning for her life that she feels empty and she does fakes laughing when she doesnt feels happy, that she wanted to kill herself so I did what I thought was the best even that she at this point treat me like trash, I decide to tell her that she has a meaning for her life and that she will forget this day and it would be a temporary low in her life, i also talked with her via a call and she told me about this problem of impulsively blocking people and also "confusing" that she loved some friends(kinda hurts to know she didnt consider me other than that and that she never felt I could be something more than a friend) also the fact she does it with other friends that hurts probably more, during the call I tell her the reaso she is like hi s is due to the abuse and her psychological problems which she doesnt really wants to treat with a psychiatrist because only insane people go to a psychiatrist) anywah at the end of the call she thanks me for calming her down anyway she returned to the usual distant behavior unlike the day before when she was again sexually needy, anyway after all this background I have felt like a bi polar because she made me felt so good when she expressed something close to love or maybe it was attraction but also made me feel rejected and depressed when she wanted me to consider me only as a friend because this is not what I wanted but i think i should make my mind and see she was some serious problems whuch havent been treated.
I decided to consult the iching for advice
I asked again if she(by name) was the woman who I should have a relation with(with love, passion, etc)? The answer is 46 line 1 and line 4 changes to 34

Also asked if should be other woman and not her who I should have a relation with reading said hexagram 21 line 4 line 6 changes to hexagram 24

So i asked the iching what should I do about/with her 3 times and i got hexagram 51 line 1 changing to line 16
Then i got an hexagram 41 unchanging then 46.3.5.6 changing to 59


The first is quite the opposite to the second unless means by shock some argument then I would be laughing after that...

I hope you could interpret these readings because I am a bit lost to be honest

In previous readimg before the unblocked me It said I would be able to find someone else who I previously saw as an opponent as an ally maybe refers I knew someone else I would be able to date but I hadnt known anyone else but her so why the iching would mention someone I hadnt know yet as if I alreadu knew it?

 

[Trojina]

Paragraphs would help. It's really hard to try to read that massive block of text. Also I think this belongs in SR.

 

[Freedda]

I hope you could interpret these readings because I am a bit lost to be honest ....

As Trojina said, it's pretty darn impossible to read one very long block of text. And you might want to consider how much of this info we really need in order to undersand your reading.

Besides that, what you've given us here is about a dozen and a half lines and hexgrams, and you really think we can make sense of all that? Maybe someone can, but I don't think it's me, or that it would help much if I could.

Consider then, maybe ask a question and then live with the response for a while to see what it's telling you.

D .....

 

[Trojina]

There used to be a bug that meant newbies couldn't make paragraphs but that was fixed with the forum move I think.

I didn't realise how important paragraphs are till I found I literally couldn't focus my eyes on huge chunks of text online. I imagine you tried to do paragraphs Brandon but they didn't appear ?

 

[Brandon7]

There used to be a bug that meant newbies couldn't make paragraphs but that was fixed with the forum move I think.

I didn't realise how important paragraphs are till I found I literally couldn't focus my eyes on huge chunks of text online. I imagine you tried to do paragraphs Brandon but they didn't appear ?

Sorry I posted this on mobile and It is difficult to make a post from a phone, I will edit the OP
Apparently there is no edit button for the OP?


Anyway It has happened a week or so since I posted this and as it was expected for some reason she would get mad for a small problem..so i asked what should I that she could forgive me and answered with hexagram 182.3 I think but given the interpretion for
“Before the starting point, three days. After the starting point, three days.” Three months of spring follow three months of winter to bring about growth, but only because three months of summer was followed by autumn to usher in decline. If you are inspired by the laws of nature, you will be undaunted by the changing climate, and merely set upon the task of reinvigorating renewal. "

So I imagined if I waited to talk to her to apologize myself, 3 days after the last time if I talked to her she would start considering that what I did wasnt probably a bad thing, but just a mere over-reaction from her.

so I waited 3days until yesterday to talk with her at the right time and well even thought she said she didnt want I bother her, she still read my apology but she didnt reply...

so I asked again if I should talk with her tomorrow (today) and the result as 38.1.6 changing to 40 and as per interpretation

Line 1 A lost horse returns of its own accord, contention in another is best examined within = remorse disappears. Changes to (64) Before Completion. Since Opposition is a lesson of honoring differences, don’t attempt to chase or change another. Accepting those for who they are can attract their return. In meeting contention one always does well to examine one’s prejudices and judgments. To cross to the other side of Opposition requires that you honor differences while staying true to oneself. You need only go half way, so don’t sacrifice your uniqueness.

Line 6 Isolated, one sees companions as pigs and devils, drawing the bow and then laying it aside = there are no enemies only love. After the rain all rejoice. Changes to (54) Propriety. Disagreements may cause you to look unfavorably upon others but misunderstandings are resolved. The steps to union can only be achieved by allowing uniqueness, opposition and then acceptance to flow in its natural cycle, like rain. Authenticity is not sacrificed so that deeper affection can grow. Opposition revealed differences that are now appreciated for what they are, and thus good fortune.

Line 1 sounds like she would return to me if I didnt send some message to her?...

so i asked if I wait?

and the answer was hexagram 63.2 changing to 5

Line 2 Losing the carriage screen, do not run after it = on the seventh day you will retrieve it. Changes to (5) Waiting. A carriage screen is meant to keep you hidden so losing it can mean you are exposed in some way. You may need to be more truthful about who you are rather than pretending to be someone you are not. Your ‘real’ face is exposed during a transition so there is no need to go searching for an old Persona. A period of waiting allows you to grow into a new way of expressing yourself.


Do I really need to wait 7days to talk again to her?

so i asked today again if I could talk with her to try to help to improve her acceptance to me (forgive me)?
and it answered

hexagram 18.1.2 changing to 22

I dont understand this one because both lines seems opposite?


What does hexagram 18.1.2 changing to 22 mean? that i shouldn't talk with her yet?

 

[Trojina]

I'm going to have to break down your first post because this is very jumbled....oh actually there aren't even any full stops in the first post it's just stream of consciousness but let's try

I had found this one girl on a dating application she gave me her number she seemed normal at first well you cant tell someone's problems by talking with them during a few days anyway she started blocking me the first day (for maybe a logical reason, lack of trust from a stranger, but I didnt give anything that would lead her think that I was a bad person) i dont know I even tried to contact her to unblock me but I did, she unblocked me we were chatting a couple of weeks(she told me she had recently breakup with her ex who had cheated on her on a distance relationship) and I saw a pattern she seemed to block me for just having a different opinion about something I found myself apologizing for something I shouldn't have anyway, during this time I learned she was still hoping to come back with her ex and eveb she had plans to marry(yeah at 18y you dont really have plans to marry and have kids, to be honest that isnt the usual behavior in my country, she even told me she thought about suciding when she 3am up with him)

No sorry it doesn't make sense to me so will go to your next post...no I have tried but this is too jumbled I just can't make any sense of what you are talking about because you write like this

I saw her she said she didn't want me but she has seen a psychiatrist but I blocked her but then what can I do because she won't believe me

You need to explain it like a story, clearly.



Maybe others can do better than me at figuring this out. I'm not trying to be rude it's just so hard to read.




If you said

'I met a girl, we went out for a few dates then she cooled off..'

I could follow the plot but I can't follow the plot when there's just a stream of words. It seems to be about a girl who keeps threatening suicide. Generally unless you are already very close to someone who is suicidal it's not a great idea to start a relationship with someone who is suicidal as they have more to contend with than trying to have a relationship and meet those needs as well as their own.

 

[Brandon7]

Ok Since you didn't understand most of what I tried to explain initially I will try to rephrase some sentences and only mention the most important parts..

I've started using some dating app out of curiosity,I wasn't really looking for some relationship at first, I thought someone I had tried to connect with at first was special but she wasn't apparently in my country some young women? use this application as a way of earn the living... if you know what I mean.. anyway out of the pain I had been experienced due to the rejection from that one person I was interested in initially I decided to talk with someone,without looking much I decided to talk with her (the girl I am currently trying to understand....

Once I had expressed how distateful was that first experience the the first girl I thought I might have some sort of attraction, and I had expressed how men are just probably a bunch a animals who only pursuit a single thing when looking for someone who offers these kind of services in those dating apps, the girl I am currently interested in, she agreed with said idea, and somehow she for some reason gave me her number.

Initially I wasnt looking for her number just talk with someone because I mean i doubt my friends would understand what it would feel like to be rejected by someone who isnt more than a mere "sex worker", I guess I shouldn't have been mislead by the appereance then, anyway this girl who just gave me her number, I thought I could be friend with her.

During the time I had known her, she has expressed that she broke with her ex recently,but she said she would be willing to go back with him if he contacted her. even thought she says that her cheated on her (or she said that happened), well sometimes she compared me with her ex (behavior wise) but I didn't understand why she would do that, if we initially were strangers to each other, the first time, she talked to me did that, the next day she ended blocking me, even i did nothing wrong, somehow I tried calling her just to know why she would do that, she told me she thought I would be some kind of pervert or sick man, since she doesnt know, Ok i would accept this is a reasonable argument, but I tried to show her I wasnt how she imagine I would be. I tried to be the most gentile?understandable person, so basically the best person of who I am,because she had this thinking that all men were probably filthy animals.

Over the time I was interacting with her, I found myself writing to her often, and even mentioned her to my friend, who at first, was only one who I mentioned her, and he found something remarkable to say about the physical apperance, who was, in my opinion some limited way to look at someone, specially if you decribe her as someone who seemed to be naive,genuine, somehow different to other people at least she bahaved in a way that made me feel like If i was confident talking with her even I just know her.

As the week passed I think I had found myself interested in her personally,thought it was my fault for thinking I loved her, but maybe it was her charismatic personality who made me think that, due to some disagrement on how she could even think about ho back with her ex she suddenly outburst in some sort of rage where she didnt like what I said, and told me something along the times she was going to marry him and have kids with him (yeah for someone 18y in my country I doubt that it would be possible) also the fact she was willing to forgive that he cheated on her made even less sense, logically... so she blocked me, I dont remember how but I think i called her to apologize for giving my opinion, when probably it wasnt of r her liking, she unblocked me again form whatsapp, and things continued normally and I still continue gaining some sort of appreciation for her, and we continued sending text to each other daily, she continue to use this application, and sometimes she complained how someties when she interacted with some men they were mean towards her, and she came to me in some way as a to comfort her, I believe, and I mentioned that she shouldn't pay attention to any comments, and perhaps she probably use her time better, also mentioned that if she believed what she said probably shouldnt interact with them, and she mentioned that she used the application since if she exchange x amount of token the app would pay her x amount of money, so she used it for that sole purpose, well i just suggested then that maybe she should measure the reduce the time she took in the app, to reduce the emotional impact it gave it to her, after that she told me she delete the application, which I doubt since I couldnt find her profile I believe she just had blocked me instead...

the next week came the same conversation about her ex, and I didnt change my mind, i dont believe it was logical she would be still be willing to come back to him if he suddenly changed his mind, after months or maybe week of breaking the contact with her. then she proceed to block me, well I had another phone number which I hadn't used so this time I decided to do something different, I decided instead apologizing about my opinion, tell her what she meant to me, after those 2-3weeks I had been in contact with her.

she once saw what I wrote to her she asked me if I was wooing her,to what I think I responded that I started to feel something for her to which she unblocked me form whatsapp this, week she behaved a lot, significantly a lot more emotionally attached to me and even replied to my messages with red hearts and saying things that implied that she liked me, she even started/tried to do some sext but well, the point is here that she seemed to changed her mind about me and during 2 weeks seemed like she was inlove with me, and well given we were a bit far and the quarantine was still under effect we couldnt see each other, but due to again some diesagreements she started to block me again to which I had to apologize for some rational opinion and this happened very often, like 2 times more, and really had no more ways to contact her at this point. once she finally decided to unblock me (because had passed some days after she got mad) she decided to unblock me, now this time she tried to persuade me against liking her because all those horrible things she had/was like I mentioned in the OP her abuse, that her father left her, that she was controlling,jealous,obsesive, that she smoked a drug twice, but to me some of these defects werent her fault, some were correct from what she told me, and I was inlove with her... so she was perfect in front of my eyes., anyway after the had unblocked me she started to behave more dry towards me, this was probably something that had to do with herself, something I couldnt know about, but I still felt some sort of attraction towards her.

She reached a point where she didnt want to listen anything about my emotions towards, her like if she disliked what I said because it was probably too intense given her recent's mood change.. well i had to do my best to my my feeling shut to her but I still couldnt avoid telling how much I loved her, it wasnt simply possible, it is not possible for me after all this time..anyway one night she texted me telling that if she disppeared some days that I shouldnt worry,at this point I was starting to lose interest in her and I thought that she probably had found someone else. which is possible... anyway 4minutes after that she text me telling that she doesnt find a meaning to her life that she feels void and empty, that nothilgs fills her, that she fakes most what she feels/she fakes when she had to lauhgh, that the moments of joy were just very short for her and that she wanted to kill herserlf, basically even thought I had no interest in her at this point I had to give her reasons to live, after all this time she was treating me as trash, ok I proceed to try to talk her and giving her some reason to live, absolutely nothing had anything to do with me, after 30minutes talking with her ,shecomes to realization that she also has some sort of problems,to which I suggest her to seek psychological help because those moods swings, change of emotions in a short period of time, and impusliveness, anxiety and othert things, were part of some disorder caused by her childhood abuse, well afte rthat time talking with her she tanked me for comforting her and calming her, I told her she should look for a psychologist or psychiatrist to treat her problem,the next day I tried asking her how she feels she reponded me with a condescending tone as if I was looking to talk with her since in the recent time she had almost stopped talking to me so often. and I had to remember her that the day before she just confssed me she was going to suicide herself... and to which she reponded ok.

I dont know why the next day she decided to videochat with me and she was affectionate. like if she was again interested in me. well i know at this point she has a personality disorder,which she doesnt wants to admit she has, so I assume it is due to this that she called me she was calling me just to feel good with herself because she needed a selfsteem boost... anyway during this call i mentioned her that if she wanted we could go to meet ourselves and we could go to eat outside, since the restrictions for the quarantine were being lifted.. she agreed on it, and I tried to organize it for the next week, but due to some problems I was sick the day before the date?, and I was also wairting for the money to be on my bank account since I had to exchange to my currency, the day before i had postponed the meetup? to the friday ( past week) but she found out some sort of problem when she went to the subway since they were asking for some employees id whihc she didnt have since she isn't a government's employee... so when I told her that maybe we could leave it for another day(because to be honest i didnt feel like paying $60-70 in taxies (I was willing to pay her taxi to take her home though) to just meetup someone who up to recently had expressed such kind of dislike towards me and believes i only want her attention, which is not entirely true, I want her love, not her attention... so I said maybe she could postpone it to another day maybe? to which she decided to block me once again,and when i tried calling her, she told me to delete her number but for some reason she unblocked me on whatsapp at the few hours,well i decided to wait the next day, to text her and make her know that I was willing to support her in her goals if that was what she was trying to focus on. and then once she left it on read.. and I asked her if she still thought the same she said yesterday to which se replied I stop bothering her and delete her number.

I had asked the iching and the OP has the answer to each question. the most recent was

hexagram 18.1.2 changing to 22 when I asked if I should talk to her today, because even thought she didnt behave coherently with me I feel some steem for her, and she would be open to anything relation I would be too, I think i know the problems I am facing, she has BPD, she doesnt want to accept it but she meets the criteria, and I understand her constantly changing behaviour is due to the disorder, and she only need someone who could support her aswell she needs teraphy to solve her problem

also one reason I still might behind her is because iching had told me multiple times if she was someone who should i have a relationship with , and had given me affirmative answers multiple times but perhaps it isnt always constant?

Sorry if I had some spelling issues. or perhaps gramatical ones, english is not my native language.

 

[Trojina]

I think you have been blocked and unblocked more times than the average kitchen sink !


Readings aside she sounds so unstable I can't see that she could make you happy or that she could even sustain a relationship unfortunately.


You said

also one reason I still might behind her is because iching had told me multiple times if she was someone who should i have a relationship with , and had given me affirmative answers multiple times but perhaps it isnt always constant?

The I Ching won't tell you who you 'should' have a relationship with, that is up to you but I see that you mean the readings looked good for having a relationship with her. Sometimes when one asks often especially in the area of romance readings can seem to go haywire.


Going back to earlier readings

I decided to consult the iching for advice
I asked again if she(by name) was the woman who I should have a relation with(with love, passion, etc)? The answer is 46 line 1 and line 4 changes to 34

This line says one's approaches are received well. Well sometimes she does receive you well and then other times not. I would think it would be pretty hard to have a relationship with her unless you set the boundaries of what you will accept. The reading though just says you are well received.

Also asked if should be other woman and not her who I should have a relation with reading said hexagram 21 line 4 line 6 changes to hexagram 24

Perhaps in dealing with these issues you find you have to analyse yourself too, dig deep, bite deep into what you really need. You see your posts are all about what she needs not what you need. Do you think by wanting to be with someone so needy you are heading into a codependent relationship ?

Here is a link to information on that if you don't already know. Click here

I think Yi is asking you to examine your own motivations and needs when deciding who to be with. Also is there something about the other relationship you don't want to hear or consider ? 21.6 shows someone blocking their ears, they can't take in more. I don't know about the other woman but I do think the 24 there is asking you to come back to yourself, analyse yourself and think a lot about your needs from your past, your own history.


You see you are setting out to help and love a very troubled girl and so all your attention will go to her and none to you. Is that a pattern for you ? Do you think you must always be the one to look after others in order to get love yourself ? You must begin to think not only about her but about yourself. This reading says it's not easy, you have to think hard about this. Were you always the one to help your mum feel okay, is that a pattern for you things like that ? It would be nice to hear how happy this girl makes you, how she makes you feel loved and cared for and happy but you don't say that. All she does is block you and shout at you and then is nice to you. You say you love her and I'm sure you do but can this kind of loving last where you are always on edge worrying about her but no one worrying about you're feeling ?

So i asked the iching what should I do about/with her 3 times and i got hexagram 51 line 1 changing to line 16
Then i got an hexagram 41 unchanging then 46.3.5.6 changing to 59

When you ask many times about something like this answers can end up quite meaningless or they will start to refer to your process with Yi.

Maybe the 46.1 is encouraging you to get help. I can't see why any guy would want to be treated like that. But who knows maybe you can help her but the 21.4.6>24 suggests to me you've got more thinking to do especially about the other woman you mentioned.

I had asked the iching and the OP has the answer to each question. the most recent was

hexagram 18.1.2 changing to 22 when I asked if I should talk to her today, because even thought she didnt behave coherently with me I feel some steem for her, and she would be open to anything relation I would be too, I think i know the problems I am facing, she has BPD, she doesnt want to accept it but she meets the criteria, and I understand her constantly changing behaviour is due to the disorder, and she only need someone who could support her aswell she needs teraphy to solve her problem

But do you want to spend your whole life supporting her ? What about you ? I see you have 18.2 'mother's corruption' and again I wonder if you feel you have to be supportive to get love. 18 can often point to the past to show where things that have gone rotten still affect us now. That is why I think you need to think very carefully about what you need from a girlfriend. You don't just want someone to have to look after do you ?

 

[Brandon7]

I think you have been blocked and unblocked more times than the average kitchen sink !

yeah i think so but none of it has been my fault. I have tried my best to keep somehow some steady communication with her and she often finds some minimal problem to block me or just treat me with indifference

Readings aside she sounds so unstable I can't see that she could make you happy or that she could even sustain a relationship unfortunately.

Well I know the reason she behaves like this, I am almost certain she has Borderline personality disorder but I didn't know until a couple of weeks ago

You said

The I Ching won't tell you who you 'should' have a relationship with, that is up to you but I see that you mean the readings looked good for having a relationship with her. Sometimes when one asks often especially in the area of romance readings can seem to go haywire.

I think I had been asking the wrong question or perhaps I havent looked into someone else, but I mean I had a reading recently which talked about probably I would meet someone but it would be a chance that could be gone if I didnt do it at the correct time, the worst is I dont know who is that someone, it only mentioned it was older than (me or her) but that is too broad to narrow it down, I mean I dont know anyone else recently...that I have been in contact with

Going back to earlier readings

This line says one's approaches are received well. Well sometimes she does receive you well and then other times not. I would think it would be pretty hard to have a relationship with her unless you set the boundaries of what you will accept. The reading though just says you are well received.



Perhaps in dealing with these issues you find you have to analyse yourself too, dig deep, bite deep into what you really need. You see your posts are all about what she needs not what you need. Do you think by wanting to be with someone so needy you are heading into a codependent relationship ?

Here is a link to information on that if you don't already know. Click here



I think Yi is asking you to examine your own motivations and needs when deciding who to be with. Also is there something about the other relationship you don't want to hear or consider ? 21.6 shows someone blocking their ears, they can't take in more. I don't know about the other woman but I do think the 24 there is asking you to come back to yourself, analyse yourself and think a lot about your needs from your past, your own history.

Well I think most of the readings were favorable regarding having a relationship with her but I believe that there is some underlying issues that aren't mentioned to achieve that point, but in other reading they have been mentioned... the problem with

I would think it would be pretty hard to have a relationship with her unless you set the boundaries of what you will accept.

this sounds like something else It is implied, the only boundary I wouldn't like to be broken is if I she was unfaithful and lying/deceeving, that would break my patience, I wouldnt have a problem dealing with her issues, I think that I could somehow convince her that she should seek psychological teraphy, maybe I am not looking after me, but her well being but the reason I do this is hoping that once she could improve herself she could give me a chance for a relationship, why? because I haven't felt so good ever before with someone, she seemed charming and special the first weeks, but perhaps this is a trait from her personality disorder, and she just tried to mimic me so I was deceived if that would be the case, but if it wasn't I think that she is so sweet if she proposed to.... I dont think there is someone else as I mentioned, unless I have talked to her and I havent noticed that she would be that person, but basically I asked the iching and only mentioned her and someone else who I dont know would could... maybe it could happen in the future? but its interpreation seemed to imply I already knew her...

You see you are setting out to help and love a very troubled girl and so all your attention will go to her and none to you. Is that a pattern for you ? Do you think you must always be the one to look after others in order to get love yourself ? You must begin to think not only about her but about yourself. This reading says it's not easy, you have to think hard about this. Were you always the one to help your mum feel okay, is that a pattern for you things like that ? It would be nice to hear how happy this girl makes you, how she makes you feel loved and cared for and happy but you don't say that. All she does is block you and shout at you and then is nice to you. You say you love her and I'm sure you do but can this kind of loving last where you are always on edge worrying about her but no one worrying about you're feeling ?

I dont usually have a need for raising my self steem, I dont feel like I need it, my ego is somehow very thin, what I mean is very little I care for someone's opinion about me because it doesnt hurts me I think it might be a low self steem issue, It has been suggested in other readings I should take time to value myself and focus in my objectives, which is true I should have but personally I dont think I should focus in myself other than for my objectives not my self steem I dont know why I would need it.. now going back to her It might seem that I only talk about her needs and you are right, but it's only because I tend to empathize with some people and feel how they feel, and that she describes feels awful, I dont imagine how it would be living with it, also you have to know that she doesnt really have a very good relationship with her mother, she wants to move from her grandma's house asap, and she doesnt want to acknowledge her mental issues (BPD) she even tried to deny showing me some sort of paper which was signed by a psychiatrist basically denying the fact she has mental isues, but let's be honest in my county there could be some bad medic, some without even ethics, also the fact as a 18y she does need some sort of mental certification talks by itself, she should have had some sort of issue that required that some medic certified her mental sanity, neither her mother,father, grandma,sisters, know that her brother raped her. she didnt have any sorg tof therapy to try to mitigate her issues, and the result is the disorder she has, maybe nothing of this issues is my problem, but would it be the right thing to leave someone to take the wrong path knowing that no one wants to take action on the problem or acknoledge it? or.., is it me who is wrong thinking I should care about someone's issue because I have? some sort of feelings for her

When you ask many times about something like this answers can end up quite meaningless or they will start to refer to your process with Yi.

Maybe the 46.1 is encouraging you to get help. I can't see why any guy would want to be treated like that. But who knows maybe you can help her but the 21.4.6>24 suggests to me you've got more thinking to do especially about the other woman you mentioned.

I know probably I should help myself but I think maybe the only way i could is finding love because is the only way I have feel that I have enough motivation to do anything. I dont know any other woman, and to be honest the only thing that keeps me pursuing her is the feeling I got from those few weeks that I had been in contact with her since then I have been feeling low, and lacking motivation to do most things I should be doing so basically I fell before knowing her.

But do you want to spend your whole life supporting her ? What about you ? I see you have 18.2 'mother's corruption' and again I wonder if you feel you have to be supportive to get love. 18 can often point to the past to show where things that have gone rotten still affect us now. That is why I think you need to think very carefully about what you need from a girlfriend. You don't just want someone to have to look after do you ?

The rotten part refers to the relationship with her somehow other readings talked about a new cycle, and I guess this means that it would start over, I have tried to follow's IChing's advises to get in contact with her, today she talked with me as if nothing happened (yeah I had to write something that wasn't selfish as IChing's suggested and I think it worked) the thing is that she insist in that she doesnt feel anything towards me this could very weel 2 things, at first her disorder was the one that made her show interest in me or perhaps this is the phase of her disorder where she simply doesnt care, in both ends it seems like this is not working at least how I expected it would


how could I make her fell in love with me and it answered with
I dont know what kind of meaning this could have, but since it mentions things wont change I assume it means she has some sort of doubts that holds her back? and I have some resource I havent used
and
55.1.5
this could be talking about the resources I could use or perhaps something else?

I also asked if I should mention the predictions that had given me about having a relationship with her (which were affirmative twice)
30 unchanging
probably means that if I dont feel the motivation I shouldnt continue with her because it is a dependent relationship where she is the only one being benefited?
as a follow up I asked if I could re-ignite the fire with her and asnwered with 52 unchanging, this doesnt make any sense why not doing anything would make things get better? if anything I could see things would get worse?

I asked about the other person I would meet that isn't the girl i have been talking all this time and I asked this person how would I meet her?
and the answer was 12.1.2.5 changing to 38

 

[Brandon7]

I have been once again blocked by her, by just expressing that she makes me feel good...
I had asked if I should talk to her on tuesday and the answer was 30.2.4 to 18 this seems somehow a negative response

This time I asked if I should contact her on this thursday and the oracle said 42.2.5.6 to 19
2 and 5 lines seems quite possitive but 6 is totally against I do something that day I dont know why it differs so much

Does it depends on her mood on the time of the day?
On Friday it gave me 59 unchanging as if her communication would cease that day? So I am a bit lost should I contact her on friday even though she might get some sudden mood change or would hexagram 59 would refer that her anger towards me would end up dissolving?
So I asked what should I tell her and the answer was 25.2 changing to 10

Any of the other answers were to make a sacrifice I assume i should let her think I would give up on wooing her and I am just to be friends while other

 

[Trojina]

I have been once again blocked by her, by just expressing that she makes me feel good...

Well then how is it possible to have any kind of relationship with her and why do you want one ? If you want pain and misery keep on going, if you want some happiness walk away.


Sorry but I can't see the point of looking at I Ching readings about a relationship when the other person blocks you repeatedly for saying the most innocent of things.

Does it depends on her mood on the time of the day?
On Friday it gave me 59 unchanging as if her communication would cease that day? So I am a bit lost should I contact her on friday even though she might get some sudden mood change or would hexagram 59 would refer that her anger towards me would end up dissolving?

You aren't lost it's just you are willingly trying to have a relationship with someone who is crazy, who blocks you all the time, who you have no idea where you stand with and whose mood determines what happens next. The question is not what is going on in her head but what is going on in yours.

The more you ask about what's in her head the more confused you will get. You can't live your life by what is happening in her head and if she keeps blocking you doesn't it show she's not much into wanting a relationship with you. Most people if they are repeatedly blocked would walk away. By 'blocked' I guess you mean on this app thing. Normally one would only block people who have really overstepped the mark but she repeatedly blocks you. That's telling you all you need to know. If you go on after she blocked you then it could look like harassment. I'm not saying it is since you say she sometimes does want to talk to you, but frankly I cannot see why you'd go on with this and in the face of all that I'm not willing to attempt interpretation of readings, I really can't see that you need readings, it's clear when someone repeatedly blocks you you can let them go.

I tired to interpret the first lot of readings but it hasn't helped as you are still asking about what's going on with her. I see she has lots of mental issues due to abuse you say but if she refuses to speak to you then what are you meant to do.

It isn't sustainable to have to ask Yi about every day you want to contact her being a good day, how can you go on like that, it doesn't depend on the day of the week does it ? The relationship shouldn't depend on you getting the day of the week right where she might not block you.

 

[bologna_tendra]

You might ask I Ching "what makes me susceptible to a masochistic relationship?" or "what do I need to know about my susceptibility to a masochistic relationship?". Sounds like she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). My advice - try to avoid the temptation of being a white knight or perceiving yourself as such. Look after No.1, and completely cut contact, permanently.

Good luck

 

[Matali]

55.1.5 : Line 1 means it's a relationship that lasts 10 days, in other words it's a relationship that doesn't last...
Don't be sad, there is another woman who will be more sensitive to your heart...

 

[Brandon7]

Well then how is it possible to have any kind of relationship with her and why do you want one ? If you want pain and misery keep on going, if you want some happiness walk away.

I have already experienced enough pain with her, but I assumed that somehow that if during a period she had expressed some sort of attraction she could have some feeling left, from previous readings I have interpreted that this would take time, and things would be uphill, but why then Yi keeps telling me every single time I asked if I would have a lasting relatioship with her with an affirmative answer, of course it never said it would be easy, or it would happen quickly, I think i had found someone special, yes she has makes me feel horrible, but I think that is part of her psychological problem ( which I cant change unless she takes therapy)

Sorry but I can't see the point of looking at I Ching readings about a relationship when the other person blocks you repeatedly for saying the most innocent of things.

I just wanted to be sure I wasnt interpreting things too subjectively.

You aren't lost it's just you are willingly trying to have a relationship with someone who is crazy, who blocks you all the time, who you have no idea where you stand with and whose mood determines what happens next. The question is not what is going on in her head but what is going on in yours.

In my I thought I had found someone similar to me in some aspects, except in the mood swings.. or the sudden aversion for talking about love, or the constant fixation about her ex,or sucidal thoughts, or taking happiness (though I dont fake it but I dont feel I am happy), I thought she could be my happiness it is just like Yi suggested that it will take time for things to happen (because in none of the readings has mentioned that things would happen in the very nearby future/present)

The more you ask about what's in her head the more confused you will get. You can't live your life by what is happening in her head and if she keeps blocking you doesn't it show she's not much into wanting a relationship with you. Most people if they are repeatedly blocked would walk away. By 'blocked' I guess you mean on this app thing.

Normally one would only block people who have really overstepped the mark but she repeatedly blocks you. That's telling you all you need to know. If you go on after she blocked you then it could look like harassment. I'm not saying it is since you say she sometimes does want to talk to you, but frankly I cannot see why you'd go on with this and in the face of all that I'm not willing to attempt interpretation of readings, I really can't see that you need readings, it's clear when someone repeatedly blocks you you can let them go.

It's hard to do it, specially since sometimes things seemed to go normally but with something as simple as saying what I always feel fine when she would be here, losses her mind due to the aversion of not wanting a relationship at the current time because she cant forget her ex.

I tired to interpret the first lot of readings but it hasn't helped as you are still asking about what's going on with her. I see she has lots of mental issues due to abuse you say but if she refuses to speak to you then what are you meant to do.

I can't do anything and she is the one who should seek help, but one day she sent me some some psichyatrist ( not a medical institution ) certifyning she was mentally stable, but I mean it was the last year, and secondly, why would anyone need a mental sanity certification on their 18y? I had never had a need for one, but I had gone to a psychiatrist due to anxiety issues, and i was diagnosized with such. but she has mentioned in every of our conversations at 5 of the criteria por BPD, reading a book about BPD has described so much of her behavior, reading through the r/BPD every single person describes exactly the same behaviour she has. of course probably her condition is not a problem for everyday's routine but for a relationship it seems to cause some problems....

It isn't sustainable to have to ask Yi about every day you want to contact her being a good day, how can you go on like that, it doesn't depend on the day of the week does it ? The relationship shouldn't depend on you getting the day of the week right where she might not block you.

It wasnt for every day I just wanted to know what could happen some days of this week, if there was a better chance to have proper communication with her since it suggested to try to solve the problem but perhaps the issue is that I am doing the wrong questions, I feel lost, and perhaps , just as a person as you suggest I should try to forget her but it has been so difficult to me to understand how anyone could express clearly their interest during 1-2 weeks,and then change her mind it isn't normal and then after a period of being totally dry trying to insinuate things sexually, which I have under no circumstance ever started, it has always been her initiative... so you see it is confusing how someone could be like this, then I think if you were me you would feel as confused...

You might ask I Ching "what makes me susceptible to a masochistic relationship?" or "what do I need to know about my susceptibility to a masochistic relationship?". Sounds like she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). My advice - try to avoid the temptation of being a white knight or perceiving yourself as such. Look after No.1, and completely cut contact, permanently.

Good luck

I dont feel any pleasure for being under a masochistic relationship I only feel pain, and the only thing that probably has keep me going after her is: since she expressed some sort of interest she once could have felt something, but we are talking about someone who doesnt keeps a constant or relatively stable emotions with someone and second probably I felt identified with some of her feelings like feeling empty and the emptiness was filled with her, but once she started behaving like this, I feel sad, lacking focus, AND empty... and third and probably not really the most important, wanting to help her with her condition at least I feel she would have a better relationship with her famility if she treat her problem,and maybe 4th I got emotionally attached but I dont feel like I need her right now...i only feel worse without her I want to stop feelling like this.... this is horrible.

and I think she fits better BPD but NPD is also similar so I cant really tell which one it is....

55.1.5 : Line 1 means it's a relationship that lasts 10 days, in other words it's a relationship that doesn't last...
Don't be sad, there is another woman who will be more sensitive to your heart...

what I dont understand who paradoxically Iching could confirm in the future I would have a relationship with her I mean this one question was done like 1 week or 2 weeks ago

 

[Freedda]

Brandon7 - I have to say that what you've shared here is very long, and very, very convoluted, and makes less and less sense to me. And I can't even tell if this is someone whom you've actually met in person, or has this 'relationship' all been online, on the phone or via text messages?

And I find it's really hard - next to impossible - to respond to all that.

 

[Trojina]

you suggest I should try to forget her but it has been so difficult to me to understand how anyone could express clearly their interest during 1-2 weeks,and then change her mind it isn't normal and then after a period of being totally dry trying to insinuate things sexually, which I have under no circumstance ever started, it has always been her initiative... so you see it is confusing how someone could be like this, then I think if you were me you would feel as confused...

Yes some people are very confusing. They are close and then they are not, it's quite horrible but it is a fact of life that there are people like this. I agree it is very hard to come to terms with such behaviour.

I have already experienced enough pain with her, but I assumed that somehow that if during a period she had expressed some sort of attraction she could have some feeling left, from previous readings I have interpreted that this would take time, and things would be uphill, but why then Yi keeps telling me every single time I asked if I would have a lasting relatioship with her with an affirmative answer, of course it never said it would be easy, or it would happen quickly, I think i had found someone special, yes she has makes me feel horrible, but I think that is part of her psychological problem ( which I cant change unless she takes therapy)

I think you are making a very common mistake many people do make (including me when younger) which is to start to conduct the relationship via Yi rather than by what the person is showing you/telling you. I don't know why it is but you can fall into this thing where you ask a lot and you get all these amazing answers and you are convinced it will work and be wonderful.... and then it doesn't and isn't. Many stories have been told here of this, one guy he was so convinced everything would be great with a girl he got plane tickets to visit and it just didn't work out. This has happened to many people.

Of course I can't be sure you are making this mistake, I don't know if you are meant for each other or not , I should not stand in the way of love but it's clear if you go on with her you take all this on

1. You constantly being blocked
2. Taking on her acute mental health difficulties/personality disorders
3. Taking on her suicidal wishes
4. You not knowing where you are with her from one day to the next


Also she's very young and in need of help. I would think it would make everything far worse for her to have the pressure of trying to be a girlfriend, trying to have a relationship. How can she ? She's very young, very ill, I imagine it would send her completely overboard. Maybe you think you can save her but I think many will tell you beginning a relationship where one person needs all the help and the other is the saviour won't work well.

It wasnt for every day I just wanted to know what could happen some days of this week, if there was a better chance to have proper communication with her since it suggested to try to solve the problem but perhaps the issue is that I am doing the wrong questions, I feel lost, and perhaps , just as a person as you suggest I should try to forget her but it has been so difficult to me to understand how anyone could express clearly their interest during 1-2 weeks,and then change her mind it isn't normal and then after a period of being totally dry trying to insinuate things sexually, which I have under no circumstance ever started, it has always been her initiative... so

Hmm excuse me for making a suggestion in this personal area but I have the feeling you should be careful if she draws you into sex again. I feel it could make everything worse, she could turn against you more or even try to get pregnant ? I'm only saying that because it seems like a trap. I don't know how old you are, guessing you are around her age, so for sure you will meet other girls you can have fun with. I think you deserve to enjoy your life, to be happy, not drawn into all this heavy drama. Even if you feel obsessed with her do try to take care of your own interests. There are a lot of other girls out there to meet, you don't have to go through all this.

Reading through your posts even though I know she has reason to be the way she is I don't feel you can really trust her. It feels like you could sleep with her and then she'd accuse you of something. I don't know I just feel you should be careful and not get sucked in.

 

[Brandon7]

Brandon7 - I have to say that what you've shared here is very long, and very, very convoluted, and makes less and less sense to me. And I can't even tell if this is someone whom you've actually met in person, or has this 'relationship' all been online, on the phone or via text messages?

And I find it's really hard - next to impossible - to respond to all that.

If you read the 2nd longest post I have tried to explain things in a shorter and concise way, it has been a month of communication through, whatsapp and videocall, were were about to meet in person but due to her emotions I couldnt do that, i wonder is it expected someone even pays for someone's taxi to the place, to someone like her? I was willing to pay one to take her hime but why would I need to take all decisions? Because I was the onky interested might be the answer?

 

[Trojina]

Crossed posts but also this might help

Blog post: Advice for relationship readings

Most people seem to get started with the Yijing by asking about a relationship. It’s a good way to start: it’s present, immediate and something you care about – when you ask these questions, you’re really asking them. It’s also potentially tricky, that mix of getting started with overwhelming...

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

 

[Brandon7]

Crossed posts but also this might help

Blog post: Advice for relationship readings

Most people seem to get started with the Yijing by asking about a relationship. It’s a good way to start: it’s present, immediate and something you care about – when you ask these questions, you’re really asking them. It’s also potentially tricky, that mix of getting started with overwhelming...

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

Do you known what is ironic? I had asked a question just before talking with her(just before she blocked me) it suggested to not talk with her, I did it anyway and perhaps I said what she didnt wanted to hear. I told her that I'd always feel fine because she would be here, that single message made her block me, something that I though that somehow expressed how she made me feel and how I was feeling (as the answer to the question how do you feel? Since she told me she couldnt sleep last night so I wanted to know if she felt better but apparently giving that naive answer was enough to made her want to block me, now think about how could I do things correctly with her without proper guidance? She doesnt expresses the fact she didnt like something but straight up decides to block anyone without a warning

I would think it would make everything far worse for her to have the pressure of trying to be a girlfriend, trying to have a relationship

I think this is the truth, but how could I possibly not exert any pressure if I feel I love her it is like impossible to hold back your emotions for so long, I find difficult to not say something beautiful to her, but this is the same reason that makes her block me because she feels I am pressuring her

 

[Freedda]

She doesnt expresses the fact she didnt like something but straight up decides to block anyone without a warning

Brandon, if I had to summarize the Yi advice, I say it has to do with finding real solutions to real situations And that makes me ask you: what the heck are you doing here? What are you hoping for? If this person doesn't want to communicate with you, than find someone who does.

What you're doing here speaks more to your issues than it does with this other person's - who as far as I can tell has the real-ness and legitimacy of Q-anon: they are just a bunch of pixels on a computer screen without any real substance behind it/her/them.

 

[Olga Super Star]

Since she told me she couldnt sleep last night so I wanted to know if she felt better but apparently giving that naive answer was enough to made her want to block me, now think about how could I do things correctly with her without proper guidance? She doesnt expresses the fact she didnt like something but straight up decides to block anyone without a warning


I think this is the truth, but how could I possibly not exert any pressure if I feel I love her it is like impossible to hold back your emotions for so long, I find difficult to not say something beautiful to her, but this is the same reason that makes her block me because she feels I am pressuring her

She is playing.
I had a person doing that to me and I have witnessed a person doing that to someone they knew was interested. There are people who spend their time like this. Blocking and unblocking just to block you again. She is probably laughing about it with another friend. It's a power game. There is nothing wrong in what you say, there is no excuse or reason as child abuse. She is just playing because you are interested.

Don't look for her any more and tell us what happens.

 

[Brandon7]

She is playing.
I had a person doing that to me and I have witnessed a person doing that to someone they knew was interested. There are people who spend their time like this. Blocking and unblocking just to block you again. She is probably laughing about it with another friend. It's a power game. There is nothing wrong in what you say, there is no excuse or reason as child abuse. She is just playing because you are interested.

Don't look for her any more and tell us what happens.

Well It has happened a lot since I wrote here I dont remember many of the readings on the hexagrams but I got once to talk with her, I had contacted with another number the iching suggested something I should say to her to let her know I understood her... anyway that day she unblocked me and even asked me to be her bf but knowing her as she is she changed her mind in matter of 3hours... also this didnt last long enough because there was a 55.1 and this 10th day started today.

yesterday she blocked me once again but for looking for her own well being. and for being honest with her best (female) (and said by her, her only friend) friend. she ended arguing with her best friend , her best friend defended what I did and what I said. she disagreed with her, then she asked her best friend to end their friendship, then she blamed me when her best friend blocked her for their argument... she told me she hates me (for her own actions) ...

I am lost on what I should do because I really can't do anything since she blocked me and this time I dont have any way to contact her. I told her I could try to convince her best friend to unblock her but she was hurt for something I told her best friend... I dont really know, what should I do?

I asked what should I do with her and the answer was 17.1 to 45

Line 1

The situation has changed and minds have changed = impulse rising, going out of the gate. Changes to (45) Gathering Together. Adapting to a change requires new approaches that can only be explored by leaving the familiar. Allow the time to reveal itself in the changed minds of others. Be open to input. There are consequences that affect all involved. A discussion or meeting brings people together to make amends. Influence is an outer prompting while impulse is an inner sense. Allow someone the space to discover the impulse rather than attempting to influence or push.

as per this if I read this correctly I should leave her to discover what she really feels? i dont know how I could have an action in this
Now this line suggest I do something I havent done before? leaving her alone? not sure how this involves me taking an action, this is the opposite of an action, this is inaction-

Adapting to a change requires new approaches that can only be explored by leaving the familiar.

and then this makes even less sense since I dont have any suitable way to know her "opinion" just her e-mail

Allow the time to reveal itself in the changed minds of others. Be open to input.

I asked if leaving her alone some days will make her get some affection for me?

and the answer wa 31.5 to 62

Line 5

Influenced in the back = no remorse. Changes to (62) Small Exceeding. You feel energized and ready to proceed and small boundaries can be crossed in order to express truth in a way that resonates with another. The back is the most rigid part of the body so influence without remorse can mean a feeling shifts at a deep level. If we cannot be influenced ourselves we cannot influence the outer world. Small things done consistently can work wonders. While an unconscious attraction has yet to reach consciousness because of boundaries, something stirs in the depths. It is beneficial to remain correct and proceed in small ways toward your goal.

 

[Trojina]

I am lost on what I should do because I really can't do anything since she blocked me and this time I dont have any way to contact her. I told her I could try to convince her best friend to unblock her but she was hurt for something I told her best friend... I dont really know, what should I do?

It's crystal clear what you should do and not from Yi but from ordinary sense, it's the only thing you can do, stop trying to have a relationship with someone who doesn't care about you and repeatedly blocks you. You said above she has psychological issues but so do you if you repeatedly keep trying to connect after she blocked you the 20th time, the 30th time ? I mean seriously what are you doing ? Do you need counselling or therapy for this yourself ?

No point posting questions here in such a situation IMO. The girl keeps on blocking you, not once, not twice but 30 times 40 times ? Either this is a highly immature relationship between 14 year olds or you are verging on stalking/harassing her. Just leave her alone and find someone better. 17.1 is to do with going out and finding new companions.