What a whirlwind romance/breakup! 64.2>35, 34.6>14

[samoyedgrrl]

I've never been in a whirlwind relationship like this before, but let's say I'm wondering if there's some hidden 30 to 55 in this one (you know, flash in the pan stuff), LOL!! Well, I fell hard for B, and he did for me as well. So much that he was talking about the size of the engagement ring I wanted and potential wedding venues just days ago. Yep. He then started worrying about this all being too fast, too soon for him and did a really jerk move and broke it off immediately, via text. WTF?!

There is a lot more back story to this, but I won't bore you. Some of it does make sense knowing his personality type and how he gets attached too easily and really wants to please others. He can't say no and is talked into things, then later resents the person for it. In our relationship, he was the one that started the serious talk and the one who subsequently broke it off. I didn't talk him into anything. Perhaps it was the therapist he's been seeing or a buddy who said he needed to end things. Hell, I'll probably never know why or what that was.

As I'm trying to make sense of it all and wondering if I should hold out hope, I asked Yi, "Will we be back together as bf/gf?" and received Hexagram 64.2>35. To me, It resonated that there was a delay in reaching a goal, which made sense with his breaking things off. I didn't think much more of it. Until today.

I got a notification from UPS that there is a package en route to me from his town (we live in different states). It should be here tomorrow, literally three days after the breakup. Is that the "three days" in the previous Hexagram? I had to laugh, as Yi sometimes is literal with its messages.

I asked two questions "Why did he send a package to me?" and "What does he want to happen as a result of sending that package?", both received the answer of Hexagram 34.6>14. Now, it could be something simple as sending me something he had purchased for me before he broke it off and doesn't want to look at it anymore....or it could be an apologetic gift. I have no idea. However, I think this Hexagram is showing that he feels like he's been trapped but is moving past his metaphorical barbed hedge to get to what he views is valuable. Could that be me? Or is it more of sending me the stuff to clear out the memories of our relationship to move forward and reconnect back with himself (without me) or even another woman? Time will tell.

How do you see this reading? Thanks for your input!

 

[oceangirl]

I feel this package is not so much an apology gift as a um sorry but could we start again please gift.

 

[Trojina]

I've never been in a whirlwind relationship like this before, but let's say I'm wondering if there's some hidden 30 to 55 in this one (you know, flash in the pan stuff), LOL!! Well, I fell hard for B, and he did for me as well. So much that he was talking about the size of the engagement ring I wanted and potential wedding venues just days ago. Yep. He then started worrying about this all being too fast, too soon for him and did a really jerk move and broke it off immediately, via text. WTF?!

Quite. WTF. Are you going to waste any more time on someone who does something this crass ?

There is a lot more back story to this, but I won't bore you. Some of it does make sense knowing his personality type and how he gets attached too easily and really wants to please others. He can't say no and is talked into things, then later resents the person for it. In our relationship, he was the one that started the serious talk and the one who subsequently broke it off. I didn't talk him into anything. Perhaps it was the therapist he's been seeing or a buddy who said he needed to end things. Hell, I'll probably never know why or what that was.

Ah it's all down to his fragile psychology is it ? Oh Goodness me do you really want to be bothered with all this. It's old. An old old story for 'I want to do WTF I want and I might change my mind at any moment and you just have to follow me and take it as it comes because I am so psychologically complicated.'

As I'm trying to make sense of it all and wondering if I should hold out hope, I asked Yi, "Will we be back together as bf/gf?" and received Hexagram 64.2>35. To me, It resonated that there was a delay in reaching a goal, which made sense with his breaking things off. I didn't think much more of it. Until today.

Speaking to you without Yi for goodness sake he's a waste of time. He thrives on the drama. I expect he will want to get back together and then when you do and you feel good about it again his terribly fragile psychology will suddenly give way again......There are people who are considerate no matter difficult things are for them. These are people who consider other's feelings. Then there are people like him. He wasn't considerate of your feelings at all. Being considerate of whether you hurt someone or not is a big part of what love means.

64.2. Don't worry about regaining lost things, they will return in due course. Perhaps your relationship will resume or perhaps the loss of him really ins't such a big a deal as it feels now. If it doesn't refer to his return i think you will soon get over him and recover your equilibrium.

I got a notification from UPS that there is a package en route to me from his town (we live in different states). It should be here tomorrow, literally three days after the breakup. Is that the "three days" in the previous Hexagram? I had to laugh, as Yi sometimes is literal with its messages.

I asked two questions "Why did he send a package to me?" and "What does he want to happen as a result of sending that package?", both received the answer of Hexagram 34.6>14. Now, it could be something simple as sending me something he had purchased for me before he broke it off and doesn't want to look at it anymore....or it could be an apologetic gift. I have no idea. However, I think this Hexagram is showing that he feels like he's been trapped but is moving past his metaphorical barbed hedge to get to what he views is valuable. Could that be me? Or is it more of sending me the stuff to clear out the memories of our relationship to move forward and reconnect back with himself (without me) or even another woman? Time will tell.

The ram in line 6 is stuck. He's going nowhere. He cannot move forward and he cannot move backward. He's in limbo which actually isn't too bad a place to be if it saves him/you from getting into more trouble. Eventually the ram can stop pushing and figure out how to get free not by charging ahead or pulling back sharply but by finding another way. If it's referring to him, that's where he is I suppose, thrashing around mindlessly in a hedge. So perhaps he's trying to liberate himself one way or the other I don't know.

I do hope you soon find someone with emotional maturity and kindness who is considerate of your feelings. If they start going on about how their past has made it hard to commit and all that and how terribly complicated they are just walk away doing this

To be fair these readings do not crush the hope of the relationship resuming. But I do think his behaviour so far is a very bad sign, I can't see that you can trust him now.

I mean come on, he spoke of engagement rings and wedding venues and then broke with you by text !?
Is this a 13 year old ? FFS having built all that expectation up for you the least he could do is come to see you to tell you why he was finishing with you.

 

[misswasabi]

I didn't start this thread and there is not much more I could say to contribute to its interpretation, but I wanted to say Thank you to Trojina. I posted a thread one or two days ago, with a completely different cast, which still hasn't received any reply, but somehow your insight on this reading has resonated a lot with my own current concerns, and to me has been some kind of kick. As I've stated more than once, to me, the value of this site is not only the things can get to learn about the iching, but the kind, thoughtful reflexions we are given from very wise people here.

 

[Trojina]

I posted a thread one or two days ago, with a completely different cast, which still hasn't received any reply,

It's easy for a thread to sink to the bottom of the pile when new threads pile up. If noone responds you can add a bump up post to bump it to the top again. I will go and look at your thread now

 

[rosada]

34.6 - 14. Stuck with a Possession?
So does that mean he's wanting to get rid of everything that reminds him of you or is it a true gift saying, "I'm stuck on you"? Or is the I Ching warning you not to get stuck with what ever this is? I hope you'll let us know!!!

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Thanks for your input, Oceangirl, Trojina and Rosada! I especially appreciate the swift kick in the pants that Trojina dished out. I needed it. The gift arrived yesterday, a stuffed animal representing the nickname he had for me during our relationship. Also included was a lengthy "Dear Jane" letter, explaining his feelings and why he acted as such a pompous a$$...and how he felt terrible about what he had done, but felt it necessary because he knew in the long run it wouldn't work out and it was better that I hate him now than later. Whatever.

My initial thought when seeing the toy was "WTF? I'm not 7 years old! This relationship, even though it apparently has rollercoaster emotions isn't freaking Disneyland where I want to actually get a souvenir to remember it by." So, I messaged Amazon to see about returning it on something that would actually bring me joy, than to remember an idiot who only thinks of himself. I mean, what kind of egocentric a$$ sends a gift to the one who got dumped to remember them by? The last thing I want in my life is any remembrance of him and how he treated me at the end.

Apparently, Yi was telling me about his house cleaning and ridding himself of me for good.

 

[rosada]

He sent you a stuffed animal to remember him by??? That is too absurd! Like he sent you a 14.Possession so you would be 34.6 Stuck!
Moving right along...

 

[Trojina]

The gift arrived yesterday, a stuffed animal representing the nickname he had for me during our relationship.

Good Grief, surely sending something representing the name he used to call you is just going to make you feel worse. What a bizarre thing to do. If it weren't tragic it would be funny.

Re the 34.6 'what does he want to happen as a result of sending that package', well I still think it describes his motivation. Yes he has sent you a letter and a stuffed animal but to me that doesn't necessarily look like his final word on the relationship. In 34.6 one is at an impasse, can't go forward or back. I'm just wondering if he won't try another reversal. If you think about it he has acted like the goat in line 6. He pushed ahead enough to make wedding plans and then totally reversed and if he is in 34.6 mode what's to say he won't charge forward again ?

I think the stuffed toy is weird because if that represents the pet name he called you, and no longer calls you, surely it's designed to make you weep and remember him every time you see it ? If he really thinks it's totally over why does he want to have that effect on you ? It's tantamount to dumping someone by text and then sending them a bunch of photos as you as a couple looking happy together.

I just think it might pay to be mentally prepared if he changes direction again. If he does it may be hard to take him seriously I imagine. Also do you think he expects you to respond to his letter, thank him for his gift ? You see he is sort of inviting an ongoing drama I reckon, I could be wrong but seems to me he may thrive on the dramas of intensity of being together followed by breakup, followed by reuniting, followed by breakup...oh it could go on and on,you may end up with a room full of stuffed animals. To me that back and forth dance of 'lets get married/oops no i don't want to/ooh here's a stuffed animal' sounds very much like a goat with it's head stuck in a hedge.

Of course if the animal he sent you was a goat then the line was literal.

 

[samoyedgrrl]

He sent you a stuffed animal to remember him by??? That is too absurd! Like he sent you a 14.Possession so you would be 34.6 Stuck!
Moving right along...

I'm going to send it back to Amazon and buy a bikini. That's my version of 35! :bows:

 

[Trojina]

just posted, crossed posts

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Rosada, you are absolutely correct about that. It wasn't easy getting the return authorization through Amazon without his correct email address. I kinda remember it, but obviously I was wrong....but, now the stuffie is ready to become a bikini in a few days' time! Yasssss!!

Trojina, awesome points there. I've thought the same myself. I wonder if he's about to do a 180 when I don't react to his attempt at stirring up major drama. Actually, at the moment while I'm typing this, I'm listening to Beyonce's "Irreplaceable." "You must not know about me, I could have another you in a minute, as a matter of fact he'll be here in a minute, baby..." I'm working on getting myself ready mentally/emotionally if/when he decides to do a reversal and try to get me back.

I think the whole gift at the end of a relationship is very strange. I've never giving those I've broken things off with one. "Don Pardo, tell them about their parting gifts..."

He has to be thinking that some sort of gift will make the blow easier or that it eases his mind for being a jerk. My BFF says that most men look to really insult women to the point of them losing it, then their actions to break things off are justified. "See, she really is a whack job. How could I stay with that?"

I have found humor in all of this, since the stuffed animal is a chicken. Much like how he's acting. It would have been sweet irony if it was a goat, however. I really appreciate all of your input and the pep talk at such a confusing time for me. It could not have been more perfectly timed, in my opinion. I will be indebted for your sage words of wisdom!

 

[misswasabi]

Well, I think the whole thing has been addressed . I just wanted to put in my two cents. I think not responding to his childish present and attitude is definitely the wise way to go. But I wanted to insist on the fact that you should maintain your boundaries. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were further communication on his part, and as time goes by, it’s easy to soften the picture of what has actually happened and forgot we were hurt and badly treated, just to get sucked back in a situation in which you have a lot to lose and nothing to win.
Also –and I’m sharing this idea with a lot of humility- the way you describe his behavior reminds me of the narcissistic traits (the urge to set a commitment just to discard you right away; the lack of empathy and of remorse, giving mixed signals… I could go on http://www.thriveafterabuse.com/red-flag-of-a-narcissist-47-the-speed-at-which-they-move-on/). Luckily you already realized that his behavior was not acceptable. The bottom line is: never underestimate the power of pity and perseverance and don't fall for his bs again; whether he is a narcissist or not, this guy is toxic, and I’m sure with your new bikini you’ll look just great to lots of wonderful, available, kind-hearted men.

 

[oceangirl]

Oh My Lord the guy's clearly a dick!!! Good for you replacing his chicken heart with a bikini that makes your heart sing :claps:

 

[samoyedgrrl]

Misswasabi, you have a very valid point there. His behaviors definitely remind me of my narcissistic ex. When I had a cancer scare a decade or so ago, he curled up into the fetal position and started crying. He put the focus on him and how I would leave him. WTF? Instead of comforting me and the potential of losing my life, it was ALL ABOUT HIM. The whole relationship was that way too. Never once did my feelings or needs get taken care of. I'm seeing that set up with B already. Not good.

Oceangirl, you are absolutely correct about all of it! I don't welcome contact from him again, but if it has to happen, he will be getting a picture of the bikini as I'm on the arm of another man. "Thanks for the stuffed animal. I traded it in for a bikini and the guys love it!" Now to workout more to make that suit really shine....