What do I need to know which I don't know? 56.5-33

[ClavdiaChauchat]

Hi all!

This time the hex I received is pretty difficult to me, mostly cause of its development!
Briefly about the situation: I know a guy since many years. He's a really deep guy. He also knows Yi and other types of divination, we do share a lot. He kissed me many years ago, but I did not kiss him. We then have lost contacts: we met again 1 month ago, after 5 years of distance. I felt something, i was deeply happy to be with him.
But, he has a girlfriend. So, I put myself in the corner. Didn't write him anymore after we met 1 time. He then wrote me many times after that. And after some time, he invited me at his apartment on monday. I already thought I had to be sincere: we just couldn't be friends. I just don't see myself like that with him, and we cant meet us. But he had to know it, because the other option was to disappear without saying anything.

So, i took courage and I told him I was beginning to feel something for him, and that it was not possible anymore to meet up. He protested. During the afternoon (before my "confession"), he said he has problems with his girlfriend: he does not feel empathy from her, she's pretty cold, sometimes he does not even trust her. I didn't have words for that. He said he wants to find this things in other people: but if empathy is not present in a relationship, it means it can't go on! I'm pretty sure he feels empathy with me.

As I "confessed", he protested, he wants to be friends in any case, he feels good with me. I reallt felt bad: he's asking something impossible to me. I don't want to. I also slightly feel used.

So, 56.5: as traveller, I'm pretty alone in this. I think Yi appreciates my honest behaviour. But who's the animal in this? Who owns the land in which the traveller wants to "work"? I usually received 56 in negative love questions. That's an imagine full of solitude. And then: 33.

I already knew I had to step back and I did it. So i don't see any new thing in this.

Any insights?

 

[becalm]

I believe this says you're right to open yourself up to him in terms of telling him how you feel and not settle for anything less than a committed person in your life. If he doesn't want to be with his girlfriend then he should split with her and only then should you consider anything with him.
Personally I've come across this situation a few times, one man I hadn't seen for 30 years or something (there's a thread on it here somewhere).....I said the same to him - if you're that interested in me then end your marriage and we'll see where we go from there, but don't leave her for me. He persisted in pursuing me for probably 12 months but whilst I talked to him and remained friends with him I never gave in. He never left his wife and they're still together now.

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

I believe this says you're right to open yourself up to him in terms of telling him how you feel and not settle for anything less than a committed person in your life. If he doesn't want to be with his girlfriend then he should split with her and only then should you consider anything with him.
Personally I've come across this situation a few times, one man I hadn't seen for 30 years or something (there's a thread on it here somewhere).....I said the same to him - if you're that interested in me then end your marriage and we'll see where we go from there, but don't leave her for me. He persisted in pursuing me for probably 12 months but whilst I talked to him and remained friends with him I never gave in. He never left his wife and they're still together now.

Thank you for the insight!

I'm still pretty confused about the hex. I can't understand who plays which role. Who's the animal, why are there friends. Why the first line is positive and then comes out 33.

But still, I know i did the right thing and Yi knows it aswell and is happy about that!

Thank you

Clavdia

 

[bologna_tendra]

Never mind the I Ching, as a guy I can say you want to be careful with a guy that doesn't behave like a gentleman. What kind of man trash talks his girlfriend to another woman as he tries to get her into bed? If he doesn't like being with his GF then he ought to be a man and end the relationship! You feel used because he is using you. Kick this loser to the kerb.

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

Than

Never mind the I Ching, as a guy I can say you want to be careful with a guy that doesn't behave like a gentleman. What kind of man trash talks his girlfriend to another woman as he tries to get her into bed? If he doesn't like being with his GF then he ought to be a man and end the relationship! You feel used because he is using you. Kick this loser to the kerb.

Thank you very much ahaha

 

[rosada]

What do I need to know which I don't know?
56.5 - 33.
I've heard it said that knowing when to leave is the smartest thing you can ever know.

 

[breakmov]

Rosada said:​

" I've heard it said that knowing when to leave is the smartest thing you can ever know."

What a beautiful way to synthesize the essence of this line!

In a more "formulaic way", I see this line as:
In an uncertain environment (...or relationship), being able to creat rules for yourself in order to manage your own sense of security is an intelligent attitude full of great wealth.

breakmov

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

What do I need to know which I don't know?
56.5 - 33.
I've heard it said that knowing when to leave is the smartest thing you can ever know.

Thank you, Rosada!
Just to deepen the Hex: How'd you interprete the development from the line to hex 33? I mean, in the line, there's a precise action, quite strong and decisive. But, then, pretty "out of the blue", the 33 comes out. How'd you see this? I'd say, the 33 is the result of an action regarding the line, like, you move forward, but just to take the courage to then step back. But what confuses me about the line is the success in it, the way it speaks about fortune and friends and possibilities.

Perhaps, there's a big potential in the depicted situation, it could also evolve in a positive way. But there's something which pull it back.

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

Rosada said:​

What a beautiful way to synthesize the essence of this line!

In a more "formulaic way", I see this line as:
In an uncertain environment (...or relationship), being able to creat rules for yourself in order to manage your own sense of security is an intelligent attitude full of great wealth.

breakmov

Thak you for the insight!
I see the line as not speaking just about one person: The traveller is sorrounded by many friends whi appreciate him. I've got to say that many friends of mine deeply appreciate me for stepping back in this. I see this appreciation mirrored in the line.

What I can't understand in the line is the success, the fortune and the different possibilities it disclosures. It could be just a potential. Or maybe, the traveller just develops himself/herself as a person, also by pullin back. How'd you see this? That's a pretty difficult hex, to me!

 

[rosada]

"Retreat" is a funny word for 33 because you're not so much turning around and leaving as simply not going forward. Picture a race in which you let everyone pass you by. You're not so much retreating, you're just not going further in the direction the crowd is moving. Thus in 56.5 we see The Wanderer has found a nice place to be for awhile and so he does not want to continue traveling, he wants to Retreat from going further and indeed when you read 56.6 you see the trouble he would get into if he doesn't stop now.

Maybe another good saying here would be "Quit while you're ahead!"

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

"Retreat" is a funny word for 33 because you're not so much turning around and leaving as simply not going forward. Picture a race in which you let everyone pass you by. You're not so much retreating, you're just not going further in the direction the crowd is moving. Thus in 56.5 we see The Wanderer has found a nice place to be for awhile and so he does not want to continue traveling, he wants to Retreat from going further and indeed when you read 56.6 you see the trouble he would get into if he doesn't stop now.

Maybe another good saying here would be "Quit while you're ahead!"

Thank you so much. Funny enough: on monday, before i did the cast, we spoke about the Wanderer. And then, the next day, I received it. How powerful is Yi. Wow.

I honestly didn't find any place where to stop after pulling back from this. But I know that's the right thing to do. I saw our company as a journey, a temporary one, as it seems to be. The traveller confirms that.

I'd like to share another thing: I asked Yi what's the best thing to do for me and him now. Got 59.6. Reading the last line makes me almost anxious. Yi does know I have to save me and him from this, that is to say, from wounds and blood! Cause the 29 is around the corner.

 

[breakmov]

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

" So, 56.5: as traveller, I'm pretty alone in this. I think Yi appreciates my honest behaviour. But who's the animal in this? Who owns the land in which the traveller wants to "work"? I usually received 56 in negative love questions. That's an imagine full of solitude. And then: 33."

The animal in this ...( the "pheasant of clarity") is to make clear all this problem that derives from this potential love triangle. [(1)]

This land(... this "strange triangular land") is this potential triangular relationship: you- him - his girlfriend

You are the traveler in this situation, the person who feels strange in this whole situation (the "desired" relationship between you and him) and who needs to leave this "strange triangular land" safely.

The "owner of the land" is him. He is the source of this situation and the common link in this potential love triangle

hex33= retreat= look for a safe situation= feel safe.

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

..."I see the line as not speaking just about one person: The traveller is sorrounded by many friends whi appreciate him..."

focusing the reading on the direct actors, in this case you and him, so.....

Friends: in the history of hex 56 there is first an attitude of the traveler to look for a friendship interaction in an environment that is not his territory. That is why I would say that "friends" here means an interaction between you and him based, in spite of everything, on friendship.

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

"...What I can't understand in the line is the success, the fortune and the different possibilities it disclosures..."

The success,the fortune for the protagonist of this line lies precisely in the ability to solve a problem in its entirety between him and the "owner of the land" with just one "arrow shot":

- for the traveler himself because he is in a strange land that is not his territory and has to interact so that his passage through that land is safe.

- for the "land owner" because he avoided potential confrontations with the traveler, in his own land, affecting him and his people.

The traveler, in this line, continues his journey, resolves a potential problem by making clear his condition as a traveler, someone who is just passing through and who is not interested in staying in that "strange triangular land". I suppose the "owner of the land" got a very good impression of this traveler.

[(1)] there is something forgotten here that I expose below...

breakmov

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

The animal in this ...( the "pheasant of clarity") is to make clear all this problem that derives from this potential love triangle.

This land(... this "strange triangular land") is this potential triangular relationship: you- him - his girlfriend

You are the traveler in this situation, the person who feels strange in this whole situation (the "desired" relationship between you and him) and who needs to leave this "strange triangular land" safely.

The "owner of the land" is him. He is the source of this situation and the common link in this potential love triangle

hex33= retreat= look for a safe situation= feel safe.

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

focusing the reading on the direct actors, in this case you and him, so.....

Friends: in the history of hex 56 there is first an attitude of the traveler to look for a friendship interaction in an environment that is not his territory. That is why I would say that "friends" here means an interaction between you and him based, in spite of everything, on friendship.

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

The success,the fortune for the protagonist of this line lies precisely in the ability to solve a problem in its entirety between him and the "owner of the land" with just one "arrow shot":

- for the traveler himself because he is in a strange land that is not his territory and has to interact so that his passage through that land is safe.

- for the "land owner" because he avoided potential confrontations with the traveler, in his own land, affecting him and his people.

The traveler, in this line, continues his journey, resolves a potential problem by making clear his condition as a traveler, someone who is just passing through and who is not interested in staying in that "strange triangular land". I suppose the "owner of the land" got a very good impression of this traveler.

breakmov

Breakmov, no words needed.

That perfectly makes sense. I just can't add anything else. The part about the "strange land" suits perfectly.

The animal could also be the friendship itself he does want to have, and that i do not want and that I therefore sacrifice.

Funny enough: The sacrifice of the animal (friendship) couldn't affect the owner of the land. He'd be pleased about it: by sacrificing the animal, the friendship, we could start the triangular love. He wouldn't probably contest if I'd sacrifice our friendship for a kiss. And I do sacrifice the animal, but for a different purpose, that is to leave all this behind (Hex 33). That's just a perfect interpretation. He accepts in any case the sacrifice. But we do have different purposes: One arrow shot.

That's one of the richest interpretation I've ever read. Thank you!

 

[breakmov]

Thanks you Clavdia.
I'm sorry my English isn't better, but for now it's what you can get.

I kept looking at your answer and it helped me to remember that there is one aspect that got mixed up(forgotten) and it is very important : the lost arrow and what that implies for some aspects of the situation(56.5>33).

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

"The animal could also be the friendship itself he does want to have, and that i do not want and that I therefore sacrifice. "

First, just for clarification...

Sacrifice: I take sacrifice as something that I really want (in my ego), but that I will give up (causing me suffering) for the sake of something bigger and above this ego.

the lost arrow: I see this arrow as your initial desire to unite more romantically with him. It is that click, that joy of being with him, that hope of something more with him. But, necessarily, this arrow has to be lost (forgotten), because this "potential union" collides with your ethical values, in the way he proposes it.-A "proposal" that implies a "loving triangle".



and re-defining this part...

...The animal in this: the "pheasant of clarity" is this "proposal" made by him, which would be a "beautiful pheasant" if offered in a fair situation. The situation was not fair so he had to be shot down and you lost an arrow .-that pheasant had (must!) to be killed, against the will of your ego.

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

"I felt something, i was deeply happy to be with him.
But, he has a girlfriend. So, I put myself in the corner."

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

"So, i took courage and I told him I was beginning to feel something for him, and that it was not possible anymore to meet up"

So this is what was mixed and forgotten at the beginning, the lost arrow "inside" the pheasant, that initial click, the vision(hope) of something else and his "proposal".
I think that this detail, although it doesn't change the general sense of the situation (56.5>33), will help to better understand the question of the need for a friendship between the two.

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

Funny enough: The sacrifice of the animal (friendship) couldn't affect the owner of the land. He'd be pleased about it: by sacrificing the animal, the friendship, we could start the triangular love. He wouldn't probably contest if I'd sacrifice our friendship for a kiss. And I do sacrifice the animal, but for a different purpose, that is to leave all this behind (Hex 33). That's just a perfect interpretation. He accepts in any case the sacrifice. But we do have different purposes: One arrow shot.

and so...

I understand what you say here, but as you can see after the detail about the "lost arrow", you ended up putting it the other way around.

What I say about your friendship with him is that it is not something that is in the position of sacrifice, quite the contrary: it is the only point that can unite you, despite this "passage through the "strange triangular land"". It is the only point that contributes to something in common and, at the same time, a future "opportunity" in case this "strange triangular land" undergoes changes and becomes a land with which you identify with.

- This question of friendship is something very important in the situation 56.5 because it is the only way the protagonist of this line can be up to a noble behavior that is asked in the 5th lines.


This question of friendship, as well as the definition of the "lost arrow" and the pheasant, has consequences on your other question:

ClavdiaChauchat said:

"I asked Yi what's the best thing to do for me and him now. Got 59.6>29 "

breakmov

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

Thanks you Clavdia.
I'm sorry my English isn't better, but for now it's what you can get.

I kept looking at your answer and it helped me to remember that there is one aspect that got mixed up(forgotten) and it is very important : the lost arrow and what that implies for some aspects of the situation(56.5>33).

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

First, just for clarification...

Sacrifice: I take sacrifice as something that I really want (in my ego), but that I will give up (causing me suffering) for the sake of something bigger and above this ego.

the lost arrow: I see this arrow as your initial desire to unite more romantically with him. It is that click, that joy of being with him, that hope of something more with him. But, necessarily, this arrow has to be lost (forgotten), because this "potential union" collides with your ethical values, in the way he proposes it.-A "proposal" that implies a "loving triangle".



and re-defining this part...

...The animal in this: the "pheasant of clarity" is this "proposal" made by him, which would be a "beautiful pheasant" if offered in a fair situation. The situation was not fair so he had to be shot down and you lost an arrow .-that pheasant had (must!) to be killed, against the will of your ego.

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

So this is what was mixed and forgotten at the beginning, the lost arrow "inside" the pheasant, that initial click, the vision(hope) of something else and his "proposal".
I think that this detail, although it doesn't change the general sense of the situation (56.5>33), will help to better understand the question of the need for a friendship between the two.

ClavdiaChauchat said:​

and so...

I understand what you say here, but as you can see after the detail about the "lost arrow", you ended up putting it the other way around.

What I say about your friendship with him is that it is not something that is in the position of sacrifice, quite the contrary: it is the only point that can unite you, despite this "passage through the "strange triangular land"". It is the only point that contributes to something in common and, at the same time, a future "opportunity" in case this "strange triangular land" undergoes changes and becomes a land with which you identify with.

- This question of friendship is something very important in the situation 56.5 because it is the only way the protagonist of this line can be up to a noble behavior that is asked in the 5th lines.


This question of friendship, as well as the definition of the "lost arrow" and the pheasant, has consequences on your other question:

ClavdiaChauchat said:


breakmov

I really have to thank you.

Yes, my desider has to be put away and it gets lost, as the arrow.
I see this need of friendship, but only from his side, indeed. I do not have this need. Despite my feelings. I just can't change them! So, yes, it's the only thing which can unite us... But I'm not ready for that.

I'm sorry but I cant understand how ypu relate the second cast with the friendship. I just notice that in the second cast, the last line I've got tells me there's a huge amount of pain which has to be avoided!

Thank u.