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What do you know about 32??

angeleyes

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Hello all!

In a few days i'm going to my hometown for a brief vacation. While i stay there i have "homework" assigned to me by my therapist. I have to talk to family members and gather as much information as i can about our family history, as I am going to work on my "genogram" when i return. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genogram

I was thinking about it today and realized that the hardest part of it will be the fact that i'll have to face once again the facts and the feelings that preceeded and followed my father's death a few years ago. My father died completely unexpectedly. One moment i was talking to him on the phone, joking and laughing with him and two hours later i hear he's dead.

His loss was painfull to all of us, but we learned to live with it one way or another. However, the shock of having your whole life collapsing in a few minutes, with absolutely no forewarning is something i am still fighting with. I still have this fear that anything can happen, any moment and what i now call my reality not be there anymore.

Having all these thoughts i started to feel sad and desperate again and suddendly it came to me that i have the exact same feelings whenever i worry about my relationship (and i do that a lot!). So, i thought, could it be that i have so much trouble trusting and feeling secure because i fear the possibility of having to suffer another "sudden loss"?

I turned to the Yi and asked: How is my father's sudden death affecting the way i now relate to men?"

32 unchanged

For some reason my heart started beating really hard when i saw this answer, but apart from this instictive reaction, i have difficulty in understanding it. I understand the part of 32 that is about endurance but not the way it relates to my particular concern. Maybe it is about my fear of change? I would love to know if there's something in 32 that i don't fully comprehend yet..

Another thought, could the Yi be saying something like "You're on the right track. Keep moving in that direction and you'll get to the heart of it?"

Sorry for another long post.I'd appreciate any insight you might have to share on the nature of 32..

Love
A.:bows:
 

icastes

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32 is about constancy and duration. The eldest son is on top of the eldest daughter, hence a union. It is the hexagram for growing old with each other in marriage. There is trouble-free and long-lasting good fortune in union. Thus, this hexagram speaks to what you want with a man, durable emotions, compatibility. You want sincerity, a guard of your position, and a love that is prosperous. You are not in for the fling.
 

angeleyes

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Thank you, icastes!

Well, it is true that 32 can be describing the qualities i need to find in a man. The trouble is, i am so concerned with the possibility of everything falling apart that i cannot enjoy the moment. I do need constancy and duration but not with all this fear and anxiety that prevent me from enjoying the beauty of the moment.. And i cannot see all those dark feelings in 32.. Could it be that i am too focused on the "duration" of it ("OK. Now we are happy but for how long?") and that is why i received the hexagram unchanged?
 

arabella

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Based on the interpretation that LiSe gives I would imagine that, if you keep your focus on the relationship with your father, keep in mind the strength and the ethic of that, whatever you think you need in a man will be replaced by what you really do need. In other words, you will naturally grow into the type of partnership that pays tribute to the beauty of your relationship with your father and how that can continue in your life, although he has gone on.

It is shocking for someone to die in an instant like that. I had a similar experience in having stopped by to see my Dad, spending an afternoon with him. He walked me to the car, and shut the door behind me saying, "I love you, see you soon!" I got home just two miles away to hear a ringing phone -- my Mom saying the ambulance was on the way and he had stopped breathing. The way I see it, I was so fortunate to have that conversation. I wrote out everything I could remember about that afternoon and each year, close to the day he died I'll start to feel upset and agitated and then realise why and get out what I wrote and have a little celebration with myself that I was so lucky to spend those hours of sheer enjoyment with him at what was truly the last moment. The joking and laughing you had was a real gift that you can hold close when you feel lost. Where your Dad is now, I'm sure he does the same.

I think Hex 32 is extremely auspicious. Don't be afraid, you have bedrock underneath you. What life sends, whatever it is, you are made of strong and durable stuff. XO Arabella
 

icastes

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I wouldn't worry about anything, as 32 is a very good hexagram. Worrying is a needless shuffle at this point.
 

ginnie

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Since you have experienced a sudden death, you may always be expecting people to just disappear on you with no warning. And that means a lot of things in terms of your inner development.

Maybe it's like your emotions are usually all over the place. One minute you're happy to be with someone and the next minute you're thinking they could leave you just as easily as they came into your life. The death of your father introduced that idea that life is not so steady and predictable as I guess we all would prefer it to be ...

This 32 can point the way to your inner development of a sense of continuity and consistency. A person needs to be consistent -- Also a person needs to have principles and behave the same most of the time, so other people know who they are dealing with and what to expect from them.

I get the feeling you're the kind of person who changes her mind a lot. You know why you're changing your mind, but it can be difficult for other people to follow all your changes ...
:)
 

bamboo

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Hello all!

However, the shock of having your whole life collapsing in a few minutes, with absolutely no forewarning is something i am still fighting with.

I still have this fear that anything can happen, any moment and what i now call my reality not be there anymore.


I turned to the Yi and asked: How is my father's sudden death affecting the way i now relate to men?"

32 unchanged


Love
A.:bows:

Because of the wording of your question, I would understand the response of 32.0 to mean that yes, in your relating to men, you have an enduring concern about loss. It makes you afraid. The issue to grapple with is Loss vs Endurance.

Your loss was shocking, the circumstances shook the foundation, indeed. But remember Loss/ Death is always potentially shocking and has the potential to shake one's foundation to the core, esp the loss of a parent. Coming to terms with Loss through death, i.e grief and mourning is a passage that everyone must go through. It is probably the most significant thing we deal with as human beings. At the other end of grief and mourning, if we allow ourselves to fully embrace the passage, there is resolution and peace. We come to terms with the fragility of life and with the fact that nothing lasts forever, while at the same time we find an enduring strength. What is left when all is said and done, after we have 'lost' things so precious? we find the timelessness of our own soul, like a bedrock of love. also , somehow, the knowledge that nothing real is ever truly lost.

I think the 32.0 unchanging says all of that! Yes, you are afraid. yes, you are grappling with the hugely important issue of Endurance/Loss. keep to your course. Perhaps also the 32 suggests you have not finished your grieving process. which is not 'bad' at all. Grief opens the heart so totally. It is the ability to feel vulnerable that makes it possible to truly have a love relationship:hug:
 

bradford

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Duration is something of a paradox in the Book of Changes because nothing can really endure by staying the same. That's just rule one. The overall goals might remain but we survive by adapting. When we lose a loved one they at least survive by our carrying them forward, we keep them alive in how they've affected our lives and how we behave in remembrance of them. What the anthropologists call ancestor worship was very important in old China when the Yi was written. But there was a deeper layer and point to this that almost nobody acknowledges or even sees: The point is to inspire us to become better ancestor ourselves, to live better, more inspiring lives for the sake of our heirs.
Bringing your father with you has lots of manifestations in a daughter's life. There's "daddy issues" and there's looking for your father, consciously or not, in the men you choose to be with. But maybe the most useful one is to make the most of the continuity of your lineage, keep on on improving the line.
 
D

diamanda

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"Death is our eternal companion. It is always to our left, an arm's length behind us. Death is the only wise adviser that a warrior has. Whenever he feels that everything is going wrong and he's about to be annihilated, he can turn to his death and ask if that is so. His death will tell him that he is wrong, that nothing really matters outside its touch. His death will tell him, I haven't touched you yet.'"
(Carlos Castaneda)


Or as the French put it,
"the more things change, the more they stay the same".

I think it's not "paranoid", but actually wise, to always assume that there might
be a bad turn just around the corner. It's a sad fact that unpleasant situations
are much, much more abundant in life than pleasant ones. So imo it's realistic
to expect unpleasant ones. And yet, it is also very possible to celebrate the good
moments even more, with all the above in mind. Grab them and enjoy to the
maximum while they're there. Carpe diem, so to speak.
 

bamboo

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which carlos casteneda book is that from, Diamanda? I am thinking of re-reading those.
 

ijing0509

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keep moving

Heng: Good things or good people can be met. There is no error. It is advantageous for the subject to stay firm and loyal. The subject will benefit from where he goes.

That is what 32 means. If you want something unchanged, you have to keep moving. Like day and night, they keep unchanged by changing. To stay firm and loyal, the subject has to move forward. 32 also means a good thing starts after something ends.Perhaps you want a man to give you a brand new start to resume your father's love.

Wilma
 

cristal

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In your case I see 32 as a need for transformation. A death of our loved ones can affect the way we relate to everybody and to ourselves. You talk about fear, and then it is possible you would transfer that fear to your relationships with men. That mean you will be afraid to lose them.
Then I understand 32 is telling you about a need to focus now in committment to re-gain your sense of balance. That is to face your fear, to understand it and move forward. And for it you need to fully committ, because it is a process of inner transformation.

You are very conscious about your fear, then you are already facing it, probably now, the next step is trying to understand what you need to do to surrender, to what life bring everybody of us and accept what happened to your dad. This implies commitment to inner transformation.

Be well
 
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angeleyes

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Thank you!

I just wanted to thank everyone who participated in this conversation.. I was away for a while but i want you all to know that i did read your answers and thought about them and played them again and again in my head.I don't know why it took me so long to respond. Maybe it's my short trip, maybe the fact that i've been really beasy since i returned or maybe it's what we call "resistance"!:eek:

I think 32 is becoming a little more clear for me. I guess i was missing the part where Duration includes Change.. The only way to endure is to embrace change. This is a message that makes perfect sense to me right now on every aspect of my life (relationships included). I haven't been very good with changes the past few years so i suppose 32 is a reminder of the ghost i've been fighting with.."Learn to love change and you will find that which endures"!

Thank you all once again for clearing the air a bit for me!
Love
A. :bows:
 

patro

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I'm with bamboo's interpretation for the 32

also an unchanging 32 can have different interpretations.

1 is that you will look in other one someone like your father.. so to can live again a kind of same atmophere.

2 is that early or later you need to manage your situations, to open yourself to other.
for now you'll live and feel about in the same way like you are doing for now.
when the time will come.... the time in which you'll open yourself to other.... you will be rewarded positively for your act.
 

mariah kaze

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which carlos casteneda book is that from, Diamanda? I am thinking of re-reading those.

I believe it was Road to Ixtlan. I had some very interesting "psychic" experiences after reading those books. Have kept them for many years without re-reading them but maybe I'll take up the idea as well. Thanks Bamboo :)

Mariah Kaze
 

ginnie

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Funny. When I saw that hexagram 32 unchanging, I thought Yi was saying: "Your father never died." "He lives on, but has crossed the threshold that divides the seen from the unseen." "You cannot see him anymore, but the essence of your father continues on."

I say this because I recently asked the I Ching if my mother was about to die. Yi answered: Hexagram 22 unchanging.

It was like Yi was saying: "It's only an illusion that people die. It only looks that way to you, from where you are."
 

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