What do you think? (36,4 - 55)

[he who tries to remember]

Question: what will happen with my relationship to David?

Context: David is an old friend of mine, however, I know not whether I ought pour more effort into our friendship, since, I feel my feelings and energy has not always been reciprocated.
He is currently visiting my part of the world, and he wants to meet, so therefore, I was wondering how to interpret this reading? Should I wait sometime before seeing him again (a year for example), or what does the reading allude to?

Thank you; much love.

 

[Trojina]

Well often in 36.4 the experience is one gets to see the truth of how bad something is and manages to make a smooth exit. Your answer suggests perhaps this person doesn't really have your best interests at heart ? You get the chance to see that without him noticing and make an escape. 36.4 has an aspect of espionage I find.

I see no reason to wait for a year...or wait at all to meet him. To me it looks like a prediction. When you meet him you see that actually this relationship isn't very good for you. You won't argue, it may be perfectly amicable on the surface but afterwards you may think "hmmm I'm not sure that I want this". It doesn't have to mean the end of the relationship but I think you are coming into an awareness that this relationship wounds your light in some way. You may not want this anymore

ETA you may have already realised this and the answer confirms your worry that he really is not reciprocating the friendship well,,,,if your feeling is strong you may not meet him at all, Its down to how you feel but this friendship doesn't really foster your light does it ?

 

[he who tries to remember]

First of all let me say thank you for such a thoughtful and helpful response

Well, we have been friends since childhood, although we have lived in various countries throughout our lives, however our friendship was intimate and substantial during various periods throughout the years.

I'm a very loving, deep, person and I do feel strong love towards him, it is simply that I aspire for friendships to be Pythagorean in ideal; water brothers, and I'm uncomfortable with considering somebody a close friend, whilst not being able to perceive whether the other person is loyal and deep; reciprocating my feelings.

The friend in question seems to be a dabbler; often does not carry through on his ventures, I strive towards the betterment of myself for the enjoyment of everybody, wherefore I try to be consistent; and this I think separates us.

I have and seek profound, deep, friendships. What many people try to embody in a single romantic partner.

What about the result: hexagram 55; in this context? Could he change in the future... (wherefore I asked whether, maybe, I should "wait a year")

 

[he who tries to remember]

BTW: I have another friend, from the same clique, although I have not known him since childhood, who I also like, but have some of the same reservations about concerning the depth and nature of our friendship:

And I likewise asked the oracle what would happen to our relationship, and this was the answer

63.5>36

36 again...?

If time permits, I would be delighted and truly grateful for any feedback, in these matters I would rather, if necessary, let go, instead of holding on to a sinking ship, and vice versa.

Much love.

 

[Trojina]

What about the result: hexagram 55; in this context? Could he change in the future... (wherefore I asked whether, maybe, I should "wait a year")

55 isn't the 'result' IMO. To save time I paste this from another thread....where i wrote my POV

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so your whole theory is based on the false idea that the 2nd hexgaram is the future and the future alone ?

....the 2nd hexgaram is also the backdrop, the stance of the querant, where the question is coming from not where its going to. Its pretty fluid and can include aspects of where its going to...

Hence in 53.6 the goose transcends the difficulties of 39 ...its not that the transcendence of difficulties leads to 39.



Sorry folks....repetition warning ..... Lise said i think "the second hexagram is the sea the primary one swims in ^....its all encompassing of the primary one not just the future, not just the 'result'.

As for if he could change in the future......well who knows. Your answers are in the main from your perspective not his. His changing isn't really your business ( not meaning to sound rude there) its not about him changing its about what suits you in friendships. Its not necessarily a fault in him as such but the fact that it would seem you cannot really be yourself around him....so I find the waiting a year idea hard to grasp.

What would you be waiting for ? Waiting isn't in the answer and waiting for someone to change into something that suits you better doesn't seem a good idea.

 

[Trojina]

BTW: I have another friend, from the same clique, although I have not known him since childhood, who I also like, but have some of the same reservations about concerning the depth and nature of our friendship:

And I likewise asked the oracle what would happen to our relationship, and this was the answer

63.5>36

36 again...?

If time permits, I would be delighted and truly grateful for any feedback, in these matters I would rather, if necessary, let go, instead of holding on to a sinking ship, and vice versa.

Much love.

No one is going to be able to tell you categorically if its a 'sinking ship' .....it is up to you and him. 63.5 shows that small simple offerings are better here than large ones.

In your last post where you described your ideal of friendship it sounded like you want to make and receive quite large offerings to friendships. Many prefer lesser offerings so maybe 63.5 is saying you can still be friends if make it more lightweight, less of a big deal ? In offering less you may also protect yourself more, hide yourself more (hex 36)

Sometime people use the word 'friend' here when they mean someone they are crazy about...which is another matter altogether than just a friend

OH ETA just realised this is about a different friendship....well yes less seems more with this one

 

[he who tries to remember]

Thank you for your patience I recently began my journey towards better understanding the oracle.

I see your point about waiting; I saw this in the context of my apparently erroneous belief that 55 was "the result". Because, frankly, I do see consistency and integrity as being values one develops by maturing spiritually; and he (the first person) may grow spiritually in the future.

I'm not discussing romantic/sexual partners; I give similar devotion (offerings) to true friends; a platonic Pythagorean ideal (not perfect! but the upheld ideal), which most people are not interested or capable of accommodating, which is absolutely the order of the day; and that's fine.

So in effect you are saying the second reading (the second friend from the same "clique") is simply saying we may be remain loose "friends" but I should not consider my second (or for that matter, the first friend in question) part of my inner circle?

 

[Trojina]

So in effect you are saying the second reading (the second friend from the same "clique") is simply saying we may be remain loose "friends" but I should not consider my second (or for that matter, the first friend in question) part of my inner circle?

No. I wouldn't say anything as conclusive as that. One may for example go through a period of a 36.4 time with a friend temporarily....in a time when you feel you cannot be yourself around them or they don't really seem to be on your side so to speak. But that does not mean it has to be advice over whether they remain in your 'inner circle' or not. That's your choice to decide that.

I'm giving you what I understand about the line you received, 36.4. I don't know about your friendships so its up to you to apply 36.4 and other answers to the friendship.

You haven't said what you take 36.4 to mean or what you take the 63.5 to mean. I'll leave it there as I think its better you try to think about this for yourself.

 

[he who tries to remember]

I have. And I find both hexagrams (both readings) in this relation exceedingly hard to understand and contextualize.

However, I found your reading in regard to both questions very reasonable. Particularly concerning the second question; in which "offering less" seems very prudent, since I feel I may have expected more from the friendship than this person generally "offers" friends (he is one of those people who has appointments from morning till night)...

The first (original posted) reading I find the hardest to understand, due to the seemingly contradictory factors: 55 seems to very positive; harvesting the king's successes, whilst 36.4 seems harsh in relation to my friendship with my childhood friend, and as far I know the severity is unfounded, although I do not not know what goes on behind my back...
I'm sorry if my questions are unusual but I find friendship most important in life; and I have questioned the depth of my relationship to these people for some time...

 

[he who tries to remember]

Perhaps somebody else has some input? I do not feel I understand how to handle or consider these relationships... Thank you

 

[meng]

Perhaps somebody else has some input? I do not feel I understand how to handle or consider these relationships... Thank you

Some old friends consider their journey reached. Jung said it's a shame that our idealism does not live on beyond our early idealistic years. That's pretty much the impression I get from your story and reading.

Is there an obligation or reason to carry on the formality of a friendship after its breath has left? Not to me there isn't.

 

[he who tries to remember]

I agree. And that is why I consulted the oracle. I will not make any more particular efforts to keep the friendships intact; and we shall see what happens... I prefer clarity.