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What happened? 9.1.3.4.6 > 47 and 3.1.5 > 2

luxeuil

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Hello, Yi friends 🙇‍♂️

Met this person at this party, we hit it right away.

We talk online for a week (she sounds excited, interested), and then she asks me out (she was quicker than me, good for her).

She plans it all: the place, the day and time.

And then, 5 hours before the date, she suddenly tells me she can't go. She gives me a very (very) weird excuse for that.

Now she seems distant, silent. A completely different person.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

I asked the Yi:

What happened?
Hex 9.1.3.4.6 > 47

We haven't gone into any arguments. Line 4 tells me there's a connection ('There is truth and confidence'), but Line 3... well:

‘A cart losing its wheel spokes.
Husband and wife avert their eyes.’

This doesn't look good.
The hex seems to tell me there's a "restraining element".
Someone else? Fear? Doubt?

Then I asked:

How should I behave?
Hex 3.1.5 > 2

Found this interpretation on an older thread:

"3.1 shows a really bad blockage between you.
3.5 describes very very little communication.
And 2 is a bit of an empty result :-/"

But then again, I asked for an advice on how to act (even if it's a non-action).

Any ideas?
Thank you 🙇‍♂️
 

rosada

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3.1
"Encircled by stones." Feeling uncertain how to progress?
3.5
If you are waiting for her to make the next move I think you ought not.
2. Nothing comes from it.

I think the way to act would be for you to take the lead and ask her out.
 
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luxeuil

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3.1
Rather than waiting for you, the guy, to ask her out, she took the lead and invited you out first but..
3.5
This unorthodox approach proved unsustainable so...
2. Nothing comes from it.

I think the way to act would be for you to let a little time pass and then start fresh and this time you take the lead and ask her.
Hi rosada,

Thank you.
But hex 3.1.5 > 2 was for the question "how should I behave?"

I understand what you mean, but I don't think the "who asks first" was the problem here. We were talking about a date since we've met. I was also very proactive. She just asked me first, and she seemed absolutely fine with that.

But I agree with letting some time pass. I just find her sudden change of behaviour very strange.
 

luxeuil

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Actually I'm struggling with letting some time pass :D
I'm just intrigued. Maybe I should ask her what's going on.
 

TheOtherLiss

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I see it as something is holding her in with hex 47... Hexagram 9s story is all about rains that have yet to fall. Line 1: just keep on keeping on, 3: the axle strap comes loose and there's no movement, 4: flexibility is key, 6: no matter what is done, the rain comes when it comes, or it doesn't, and any effort to try to get it to happen is just not good.

Maybe she was gung ho about another date, but her car got wrecked, and then she started thinking about how this was all too fast?

Who knows? Certainly, we don't. You could ask her, in fact line 5 of the next question's answer tells you that asking her is best, to have perseverance, but to focus on small things, not large/grand outcomes...

Please, just ask her, then update us, because now, I'm curious to know what happened.
 

rosada

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I was interpreting the IChing as answering your question, “How should I behave?” by suggesting how you should behave as if this is a 3.1.5 - 2 situation and respond accordingly. Like the IC is saying,
“You should behave as if there was some 3.Difficulty at The Beginning of your planning a date which has you 3.1 uncertain now how to proceed but when you talk to her about it you get 3.5 answers that aren’t helpful which leads to a feeling that (2. Earth) nothing more will grow out of this.” If you take that attitude and behave accordingly - that is, act as if the idea never got off the ground, no big deal, drop it - then you can set up a fresh start where you make the plans and ask her to join you.
 

luxeuil

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Liss,

Line 1: just keep on keeping on, 3: the axle strap comes loose and there's no movement, 4: flexibility is key, 6: no matter what is done, the rain comes when it comes, or it doesn't, and any effort to try to get it to happen is just not good.

The Yi definitely seemed to be talking to me right there. Good! I got it. Thank you, Liss.

I asked her if there was something wrong. Nothing wrong!, she says. She reiterated her excuse (BTW, no cars involved!, but the conduction (!) of a project she suddenly had to be leading at work).

Well, I'll give her that, then.

BUT

... The (intense) online conversation was kinda gone for now. I had to make a trip to my parents and she's got work to do. We talked about rearranging the date for next week, which is good, because I can only understand the situation personally, obviously. We'll see.

And rosada, thank you for your explanation. I was actually referring to your first post, not the edited version.

If you take that attitude and behave accordingly - that is, act as if the idea never got off the ground, no big deal, drop it - then you can set up a fresh start where you make the plans and ask her to join you.

That's exactly how I feel now, rosada. You're amazing. Thanks.

But yes, it's up to me. I was going to ask her anyway; I reached out the Yi to have a better view on the case. I've felt a sudden change of course and that made me feel... intrigued.

Thing is, we haven't talked about anything serious so far. We've been having fun with each other, like two excited kids who had just found a new friendship. Maybe there's the feeling that, when we meet, we'll have to get into a more intimate and serious conversation, and maybe that's something we are cautious about doing. At least I am. I don't want to ruin the lightness of it. More levity... no gravity... Maybe she doesn't either.

Thank so much for your insights. I'll send you the wedding invitation soon :)
 
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luxeuil

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It's been a month now, and here's the update:

The axle strap came loose and there was no movement.

She kept avoiding the date, I asked her what happened, she tells me she's "not on her best mood lately".

Since she didn't seem to share any more than that, I let it be.

Wedding's cancelled ;)

Thank you all!
 

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