What if I report my boss to HR tomorrow? 52.2.3.5>7

[heatwave]

My boss has accused me of something that is not true and has demanded I basically put in writing that I won't do this thing I did not do again. I am not the type of person who would ever go to HR but feel really upset about this and like she is going after me. The HR person does not have a good reputation as far as I know. I've heard he is on the side of management and questions the motives and integrity of employees lower on the ladder, but I'm really at a loss here. I don't want to lose my job because my boss is a bully. This reading doesn't look favorable to me though. She knows I am very upset about this and I'm fairly certain she knows I'm considering going to HR (line 2 momentum getting away from me, I think). She may even try to beat me there and influence the situation in advance. I identify with line 3 right now. She is highly controlling and manipulative and I tend to take the most passive stance I am capable of in relation to her, though it is extremely difficult.

I asked what is the best way to proceed here and got 27uc and the first thing that came to my mind is get a new job. And now I'm thinking along the lines of preserve your source of nourishment in this job. I'm losing sleep over here and have to at least respond to her in writing tomorrow. Accepting responsibility for something I didn't do and am being threatened over just to keep my income is definitely smothering my heart. Any advice before I go in tomorrow? Should I remain still and do nothing?

Also just want to share my dread through this reading, just for fun. When I asked what to expect tomorrow received 16.5.6>12. Can't wait!

 

[diamanda]

I so feel for you, I've been through such a hell. Being targeted by a lunatic is no fun. I had gone to HR, they were on his side. In the end, many months later, I got made redundant, but surprisingly the boss got made redundant too.

What if I report my boss to HR tomorrow? 52.2.3.5 > 7
I think the unease you already feel will intensify. A war will start?

what is the best way to proceed here and got 27uc
Think of the possibility of losing your job. How easy will it be to find another one?

what to expect tomorrow received 16.5.6 > 12
I think maybe they will all avoid you tomorrow? Or at least I hope so.

You say you have to answer - how about you say "I appreciate your feedback, please provide me with evidence of when this happened and I'll do my best to correct it / not repeat it"?

 

[Trojina]

What if I report my boss to HR tomorrow? 52.2.3.5>7

52.5 is a great line for saying the right thing at the right time, it always bodes well in my experience . It tends to show that somehow the right words come between people, it's a line of peace.

7 would be your grievance but 52 isn't saying to act on it. But you have three lines and I feel 52.2 may be the HR person, she's more on your side than you think but she is powerless to act. If this line is about you it's that realisation that you cannot save yourself. Mostly line 2 is about the wish to save or help others being of no use so I wonder if you want to complain for yourself alone or this is kind of on other's behalf too.

Line 3 of course stifling the wish to act and a gulf between feelings and logic. Line 5 a lovely line of composure where the right words just come.

I think you should go to HR yes, although I'm not sure she can help I think it moves you away from the toxic emotions in line 3. This kind of tension can make you ill so let your heart and your head have their say and if you are upset don't be too afraid to show it.


I feel 27uc is a very pragmatic answer, looks to your needs first. Be clear about what your needs are and go from there. 27uc can also indicate very much what is necessary . Things can become simpler when you base actions on what is actually necessary rather than other considerations. You have been falsely accused and that's quite serious so I'd say it was necessary to go to HR. HR have to investigate it.

 

[heatwave]

I have what is a sort of interesting update, I think. I woke up this morning after almost no sleep and read these responses. I thought mostly abut 27 and line 3 of 52 for some reason. Really, I was in some sort of anguish. I thought all morning about your different answers. I allowed myself one more question, which normally is too much. After contemplating 27 as well as my smothered heart for an hour or so before work I just asked for simple advice today. I received 27.1.6>2.

Have you ever read the book Who Moved My Cheese? When I saw that response I immediately thought of that little book I randomly read in an hour in the library not that long ago. I really hope someone has because it's a famous book and I just realized that I can either be a victim or think about what nourishes me and take action, even if it is risky. I decided to report the incident to HR. The smothered heart was a deciding factor too. I've had this line quite a few times and it is painful.

The interesting development when I came into work was that my boss was in overdrive. After hearing that I was thinking about going to HR she targeted several other people on the team unfairly in an attempt to cover her own tracks. ALL of them reported her to HR along with me. It actually felt very much like an army. I thought all day...look at this 7 situation developing. The HR person was surprisingly receptive considering what I had heard about past conduct. I wasn't perfect but I tried my best to simply speak the truth. There is no way of knowing if this will result in retaliation against me or my friends/colleagues. There is a chance she will successfully play the victim who is being ganged up on.

All I know is I feel lighter for having spoken up as of now. My income nourishes me, but what was causing my 52.3 was fear and silence. She did avoid me in particular all day. I won't have any expecations for this, but for now I can accept the call I made. Thank you both so much!

 

[Trojina]

Is 'who moved my cheese ?' about mice who can either move on or go on about how their cheese was moved ? If it's the one I'm thinking of I think Hilary linked it to 23.6 once. I mean it's not all about mice...I recall the message but not the actual content. It's saying how people can be like the mice who go on about the lost cheese or they can be people who search for new solutions ?

 

[my_key]

Hi heatwave
I agree "Who Moved My Cheese?" is a great little book of what happens to our lives in the maze when the things we rely on for survival is no longer there for us. Mouse 1 sits there waiting for the great provider to provide the cheese again, Mouse 2 set's off into the great blue yonder, facing trial and tribulations, until he finds his new cheese.

A contrast of staying trapped with what you know or stepping out bravely beyond your normal horizons. If memory serves me right (it's been about 15 years since I read the book!!!) doesn't mouse 1 die in the end, even though he is brought back food by mouse 2 for a while. Eventually mouse 2 leaves mouse 1 behind and although sad for mouse 1 actually thrives in his new environment and the new life he has given form to.

Whether that is the complete story to the book or not, it certainly makes a good rendition of your reading. 27.1.6>2

Good Luck

 

[diamanda]

After hearing that I was thinking about going to HR she targeted several other people on the team unfairly in an attempt to cover her own tracks. ALL of them reported her to HR along with me. It actually felt very much like an army.

Wow, what a great development! Very happy to hear that, hopefully she'll now behave better.

 

[heatwave]

I'm sure the story has been updated over time. The version I read includes two tiny people called Hem and Haw. Once the cheese gets moved, Hem gets upset and wants to stay put. He's angry but hopes whoever moved the cheese will bring it back. Hem and Haw both start to get sickly and envious of the two mice they'd lived alongside because they had already moved on in search of new cheese without getting bogged down in beliefs, emotions, or entitlement. Haw wants to go back into the maze to start looking for cheese again and is afraid and conflicted because he's forgotten what he's capable of and is letting Hem hold him back. This feels like line 1 to me. When Haw decides to leave he becomes more and more confident in himself and writes messages along the walls of all the lessons he's learning about cheese (nourishment) and change in hopes of his friend seeing them and learning from them. Line 6 involves some kind of education of others, doesn't it?

my_key, the ending is ambiguous but definitely made me think that Hem just stayed there unwilling to get up and feed himself and probably died.

It is still very uncertain whether the way things happened at work in favor of the boss or the team. I think we will have an answer soon enough though.