What is it X needs from me right now? Hex 47 2.6 to 12

[dancingfox]

So X is a dear friend of mine. We've known each other for a couple of years, but last year our friendship really blossomed. Since September this year I started going back to school, since then my social life has turned into a shipwreck. I haven't had a chance to make time for myself or any of my friends.

The first 2 months since I started school X kept trying to be there for me while I was overwhelmed with my new life but I wasn't able to focus on anything else but my studies. I am afraid I hurt her with my absence, I could feel she needed me and I wasn't able to truly be there as a friend. I feel guilty about it but I really didn't have any other option since my studies ruled my life when I started out. I merely rode the current of my life and barely kept my head above the water. I think she kind of understood my situation but she still distanced herself from me. I can't blame her, it's not like she didn't try to be there for me.

Before I started school I had loads of free time. I was enjoying my social life at the time though usually I am pretty much a loner, I certainly don't need a lot of friends. But every now and again I meet someone worthwhile and I include them into my personal space wholeheartedly. X is one of those special people that walked into my life and inspired me. She is much more social then me, which I appreciated in the beginning of our friendship. But for me, constant social contacts exhaust me after a while, so I need a break from social life every now and again.

I am highly sensitive to big changes in my life and I needed ALOT of time to adjust and replenish my energy. People who know me well know how I can shut down if life takes to much out of me. They also know and understand that this always something temporary. I think X tried to understand what I was going through but ultimately she was disappointed with me, causing her to shut down towards me.

At a certain point I deliberately halted all communication between me and X because I felt cornered by her attempts to contact me. I had too much going on at the time and I felt horribly lost and unable to communicate at all. I should mention X has a strong personality and is about 7 years my junior. She just wanted to go out, have some drinks and dance the night away. I quit drinking since I started school, I needed all my energy just to hang on in there in the beginning of my studies.

Yesterday X texted me after weeks of radio silence, she has a heart condition and has to go see a specialist next month. She is a nurse and I know she lives her life with almost no regard for her own inner peace and doesn't take nearly enough time to replenish her inner resources. Well she tries but she is one of those bright shining, fiery people who can juggle an extremely demanding job with a very lively social life, I know that's how she loves to live. It is also what I admire so much about X, her intensity, stamina and joy for life are a real pleasure to behold, I loved being included into the tidal wave that is X!

In some ways my life used to be a lot like her life right now, but I was forced to make some very large changes. I feel that she is going through something similar. I think we are attracted towards each other because we are so alike and yet so different. I also think I should be there for her at a time like this. But I feel hesitant and unsure how to be open and spontaneous towards X again.

Recently I started to feel much more energetic and open, having dealt with my initial exhaustion. I think a lot of X but I am a little insecure about how to re-establish our friendship, so I asked Yi:

What is it X needs from me right now?

I got hex 47 2.6 to 12

This reading is all about oppression and exhaustion leading to blockage but I am not certain how this reading applies to my question. I can see my own exhaustion and hers with the heart condition. I think the blockage can be overturned because in line 6 of 47 Wilhelm says

A man is oppressed by bonds that can easily be broken. The distress is
drawing to an end. But he is still irresolute; he is still influenced by the
previous condition and fears that he may have cause for regret if he makes a
move. But as soon as he grasps the situation, changes this mental attitude,
and makes a firm decision, he masters the oppression.

Maybe the reading says that if I change my attitude and accept my regrets, make a friendly move towards X the blockage will be overturned?

All insights would be welcome!
:bows:

(sorry for the long post, I felt it was important to explain the whole situation as clear as possible)

 

[Trojina]

What is it X needs from me right now?

I got hex 47 2.6 to 12

This reading is all about oppression and exhaustion leading to blockage but I am not certain how this reading applies to my question. I can see my own exhaustion and hers with the heart condition. I think the blockage can be overturned because in line 6 of 47 Wilhelm says

I think you are likely imagining this as much more of a problem/issue/burden than it need be.

Hexagram 12 as the relating hexagram is not the future or what 47 'leads to' here it is the backdrop, the situation around the whole question. It seems as you have said there is little true communication between you and it is best not to have ambitions of changing that too fulsomely...but OTOH you don't need to be so careful you stop anything at all happening for fear of it's impact.

47.2 shows an offering that need only be quite small. 47.6 whatevcer you are afraind of happening need not happen at at.....stop being so cautious and imagining the worse .


I read your post quickly so may have missed something...but was just answering as no one else had.

I think you can afford to lighten up over it all just a bit. Reply to her simply....staying aware she has no real authority to get you to do things you don't want to. Often those officials in the lines of 47 are things we give authority to who don't have it really. These officials are like 'job's worth' you know minor officials who take their roles too seriously. 47.6 is clear ...don't be so scared about your energy levels....it's okay

 

[Trojina]

Oops I didn't address your actual question....that is possibly because I tend to see all answers as about ourselves. Here I think it was about you not her.

If it was about her then all I said about you applies to her. But who is the oppressed one in this scenario....your own sense of oppression caused you to ask the question and I think your core reason for asking is what was answered.

Personally I'd never use questions like this. I always try to ask from my own POV. Who cares what she needs from you...you can't mind read... BUT what you do need to know is what you need to do and how to respond. I think that is what Yi answered. What she needs you to do is stop being so cautious and scared and be a bit bolder.

 

[dancingfox]

Often those officials in the lines of 47 are things we give authority to who don't have it really. These officials are like 'job's worth' you know minor officials who take their roles too seriously. 47.6 is clear ...don't be so scared about your energy levels....it's okay

I think I might have let fear rule my decisions for to long. So yesterday I decided to contact my friend and went over to her place. It was really good to see her again. I was indeed imagining the worst Trojina. It'w what happens to me when I am alone for a long period of time, I get nervous around people.

 

[dancingfox]

Personally I'd never use questions like this. I always try to ask from my own POV. Who cares what she needs from you...you can't mind read... BUT what you do need to know is what you need to do and how to respond. I think that is what Yi answered. What she needs you to do is stop being so cautious and scared and be a bit bolder.

You are right of course. I let my insecurities prevail over my own better judgement.